Jaybee1200
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| Quote : | | "I am a dynamic figure, often translating ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I impress men with my sensuous and goddess-like harp playing; I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and a female spy in countries I cannot disclose. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello and am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I mold clay sculptures of elephants and flowers in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I cook numerous meals and give them away free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless female bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400 – not bad for a chick. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy but wouldn’t think of it. I once read Paradise Lost, Mobydick and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Queen Elizabeth, performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis." |
spam is getting weird now... not even trying to sell anything, just random shit 9/1/2008 6:54:30 PM
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