What exactly did she do all day?

11/4/2008 6:05:14 PM

she sucked my dick

11/4/2008 6:05:31 PM

no she didn't. liar.


burn in hell.

11/4/2008 6:06:30 PM

She must have kept a very clean house.
Oh wait, they had a housekeeper.
Shit, what did she do all day?

11/4/2008 6:07:33 PM

those were my thoughts exactly. If Alice was cooking and cleaning and Carol Brady was not a drunk or pill popper, what heck did she do?

11/4/2008 6:14:27 PM

Maybe she did baby sign language, baby yoga, baby genuis, etc. And then went to Helicopter Parenting 101.

11/4/2008 6:16:46 PM

who she?

11/4/2008 6:16:56 PM

she probably got scared at the prospect that Obama would be president

11/4/2008 6:17:13 PM

she is the mom of the Brady Bunch.

11/4/2008 6:17:51 PM

sat around being hot

11/4/2008 6:19:58 PM

3 ways with Alice and Sam. Think about it.

11/4/2008 6:32:49 PM

Quote :

"Carol Tyler Martin thought it was the end of the world before she met Mike Brady. Her fist husband disappeared without an explanation, leaving the poor woman to raise her three girls on their own. Did he die? Did he divorce her? We may never know. What we do know, is that Carol Ann, a.k.a. Twinkles, is the perfect match for Michael Paul Brady. Together they make a perfectly symmetrical family. At the time Carol was the prototype liberated woman. Maybe that's what scared off her first husband. Although she chooses to be a stay-at-home mom, she is anything but a housewife. She is a freelance writer, a sculptor, political activist and singer. She also organizes plays and PTA events while keeping dinner on the table and completing needlepoint projects all while keeping her home emotionally balanced. Some of her favorite things are a large terra-cotta vase, dangly earrings and singing in church. She also loves telling corny jokes, and finding clever ways of zinging her husband. "

ok now i know

11/4/2008 6:48:28 PM

Obviously not banging Mike Brady because he was gay and had the AIDS

11/4/2008 6:50:47 PM

I was going to say she was doing pottery.

11/4/2008 7:02:38 PM

thanks tsavla for clearing that up for me.

11/5/2008 2:50:40 PM

Quote :

"At the time Carol was the prototype liberated woman. Maybe that's what scared off her first husband. Although she chooses to be a stay-at-home mom, she is anything but a housewife. She is a freelance writer, a sculptor, political activist and singer. She also organizes plays and PTA events while keeping dinner on the table and completing needlepoint projects all while keeping her home emotionally balanced. "

Ah, so not a god damned thing.

11/5/2008 2:52:44 PM

I only hope that my future wife will spend her time finding clever ways to zing me

does zing mean what I think it means?

11/5/2008 2:52:54 PM

zing =/= sex, blow job, finger in the butthole, or anything sexual. Sorry.

[Edited on November 5, 2008 at 2:57 PM. Reason : double negative]

11/5/2008 2:56:58 PM

Head Scientist: All right everyone, let's focus. As of early this evening, we've lost contact with the Mars Spirit Rover. If we don't reestablish a connection, the rover may travel into an unchartered crater and we'll risk losing it forever. You're the finest minds in the field, and now that you're assembled we need to focus everything on Mars.

Dave "Zinger" Clinger: If you want to focus on Mars, maybe you should start by taking your head out of Uranus! Ha, you just got zinged! (Pretends to shoot off pistols) Zinga!

Scientist: Everyone, this is Dr. David Clinger, he's a research fellow at the Institute for Advanced Astrophysics in Houston. (Dave clears his throat.) He likes to be called David "Zinger."

Zinger: On account of the zings, but please, let's get off me...just like your sister did last night. Minizing! Mars Rover, continue.

Scientist 1: Um, when was the most recent communication?

Zinger: I actually had the most recent communication; Velma from Scooby Doo called, she wants her haircut back. Heheheh, you just got zinged! (He imitates a slot machine.)

Head Scientist: Oh great, the zing jackpot. Nice. Now remember everyone, the Rover is a very small, delicate piece of equipment prone to malfunction.

Debbie Slamowski: (Enters and walks up to the head scientist.) Small, delicate, and prone to malfunction...(She points at his crotch.) I found it! Hahaha! You got slammed! (She pretends to open a locker) Click click click, unlock, squeeak, slam! Ha!

Scientist: I'm sorry, who might you be?

Zinger: Her name is Debbie Slamowski.

Slam: My friends call me Debbie Shlam!

Scientist: And you two know each other?

Zinger: We were once engaged.

Scientist: What happened?

Slam: My eyesight came back! That's a slam! (pretends to play basketball) She dribbles left, she dribbles right, she goes up, three-sixty el slammo! Suck it!

Zinger: Wow Debbie, you've still got it.

Slam: Thank you.

Zinger: And by it, I mean headlice! Zing! (Pretends to be at a carnival) Step right up, step right up, test your strength! Why don't mind if i do! Ooh, heavy, boom, eeeep, dingdingdingdingding! Oh my God, what'd I win? A stuffed panda, zing!

Scientist: Look, we're running out of time here...We are desperate!

Slam: Desperate? You've never seen Dave when the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue comes out and the all the hand lotion stores are closed. Hahaha! (She pretends to be a waitress) You wanted two eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, pancakes, whole wheat toast, coffee and juice? Well here at Denny's we call that a Grand SLAM! Haha! Flip it!

Scientist: Doctors, please, the mars rover could be lost forever unless we find a solution in the next five minutes. So I'm going to ask that you spend no more than four of those minutes working out your differences through a series of zings and slams.

Slam: Don't worry, if I know Dave, he'll finish in two minutes, start crying, and then fall asleep, because he is wham, bam, thank you, slam! Haha! I bet you wish you had this back.

Zinger: No, I don't really want that back Debbie, considering I took penicillin for three months just to get rid of it in the first place. Zinger! (Imitates carnival duck game) Chick, chick, quack, quack, quack, zing...Oh my God, what'd I win this time? Another stuffed panda! It's for you. (He gives it to Debbie.)

Slam: Aw, just like the night we met! You know, Dave, it's not the same since you moved out.

Zinger: Really?

Slam: Yeah, but then I throw a sack of manure on the couch, turn on Baywatch, and it's like you never left! (She licks her finger seductively and touches him on the nose.) Slam.

Zinger: Thanks, Debbie. You know, I always forget how beautiful you are.

Slam: Really?

Zinger: Yeah, because your breath is so bad it gives me short-term memory loss! (Pretends to be a magician) Nothing up my sleeves, oh, what's that behind your ear? Why, it's a shiny new...zing!

Slam: I love your zingers.

Zinger: I love your slams.

Slam: Oh, will you take me back?

Zinger: Oh, of course I'll take you back Debbie, of course I will! As long as you're still under warranty at the SKANK FACTORY! YES, that is the king of zings! (Pretends to be a Rube Goldberg machine) Feather, feather, feather, feather, scale, lever, ka-chunk, bowlingball, bowlingball, bowlingball, bowlingball, bell, ding! Startles the chicken
! BUCKAAAH! Egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, dominoes...shhhhhhhhhhh...

Scientist 1: Sir, the Mars Rover will be lost in less than a minute!

Head Scientist: Would you shut up, woman! Can't you see the dominoes are falling?!

Zinger: Click, fan! Candle in a paper boat, candle in a paper boat, wick, fuse, bottle rocket, fssssshhhhhhhh...(He is now gesturing wildly in the air)

Scientist: Would you look at that! It spells "zing!"

Slam: You win, Dave. You always loved your zingers more than me.

Zinger: It's who I am.

Slam: I have one last slam for you. I'm not wearing anything under this lab coat...(turns to the head scientist) Care to check, doctor?

Scientist: Oh, don't mind if I do!

Scientist 2: Uh, what about the Rover?

Head Scientist: Uh, no longer a top priority! (Runs off after Debbie.

11/5/2008 3:01:00 PM