If a guy asks his girlfriend "Hey, do you want to get some coffee tomorrow night after your play rehearsal" and she responds "No, I'm going to have so much work to do" and then the next night comes around, he calls her up to see how her work is going, and she says "I'm going out to Hi5 with some cast members" ...

How the hell am I supposed to respond to that? I'm not the obsessive boyfriend who tells his girl she can't go out, but I feel lied to. I don't see her at all during the week because of these play rehearsals and we both have heavy work loads, but she spends 3 hours every night with these people and now has time to go out clubbing with them? And to Hi5? That's not where girls who already have boyfriends tend to go on a weekday night.

1/28/2009 11:13:52 PM

k

1/28/2009 11:14:16 PM

I like how you were using general third person terms in the first paragraph and switched to first person narrative in the second.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:15 PM. Reason : forgot a word]

1/28/2009 11:14:52 PM

Thank you RD, I feel so much better.

^I was putting it in a way that other guys can understand what's going on too and then threw myself into it.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:15 PM. Reason : ^]

1/28/2009 11:14:57 PM

she's boning the guy who she refers to as her "gay friend"

he has that theatre game down pat!

1/28/2009 11:15:18 PM

Doesn't look good, dude.

1/28/2009 11:15:18 PM

There's no gay friend. She goes to Meredith, its all girls going downtown.

And I mean downtown Raleigh, not down pants

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:16 PM. Reason : -]

1/28/2009 11:16:17 PM

maybe you should've asked her to go to Hi5...

1/28/2009 11:16:31 PM

what's she is trying to tell you is that she is really enjoying her time with this new group of people and the relative freedom she has while with them. she doesn't want you putting static in this new flow.







plus, she's trying to fuck someone else and you are making that hard

1/28/2009 11:16:47 PM

Quote :

"its all girls going downtown"

you just answered your own question, she's muff diving

1/28/2009 11:17:08 PM

thats not good.

1/28/2009 11:18:18 PM

And he means downtown Raleigh, not down pants

1/28/2009 11:18:28 PM

i always figured "we having girls night out" is a nice way of saying buzz off.

1/28/2009 11:20:09 PM

Quote :

"There's no gay friend."

Quote :

"She goes to Meredith"

Does not compute.

1/28/2009 11:20:14 PM

ill tell her you said hi

1/28/2009 11:20:42 PM

Quote :

"thats not good."

It's a-ok if she lets you watch. Even better if you can video it.

1/28/2009 11:20:46 PM

everybody lies. learn to read her better.

1/28/2009 11:21:47 PM

Maybe it's wrong, I don't know... but if it were me, I'd be pissed and annoyed, and probably say something about it. Now, I don't know how long you guys have been going out, but I don't put up with that shit from my friends, I'm certainly not going to put up with that shit from my women.

1/28/2009 11:21:56 PM

the best that you can hope for is that "better" guy/girl isn't interested and she has to keep settling for you.

1/28/2009 11:22:27 PM

don't worry about it - she's not cheating on you

however, you could approach her and have a talk about communication

tell her that its okay that she wants to have her space and spend time with friends and that when she wants to do that its okay for her to tell you that directly - don't seem in the least bit annoyed when you tell her this or she won't believe you

1/28/2009 11:22:48 PM

how long have you been dating?

1/28/2009 11:22:54 PM

Its been about 3 months, and I want to say something about it, but then she'll just accuse me of purposefully making her feel guilty about wanting to have fun with her friends

1/28/2009 11:24:01 PM

Snewf, I really appreciate the sincere post. However, this is the second time in two weeks that it has happened.

1/28/2009 11:24:53 PM

that's why you have to say it in a cool way, like I suggested

and only try this if you're an actual adult that is capable of not sounding selfish

she's doing a play - she can see if you're acting

1/28/2009 11:25:16 PM

Well generally when you're in theatre and the cast wants to go out somewhere you go out with them. It's a great way to bond, which makes on stage chemistry much better.

So either she wasn't lying to you, and was really planning on doing work after rehearsal, then when asked to go to Hi5 she felt like she should go

or

She was lying to you and is kinda getting tired of being around you, but isn't sure yet if she wants to break up with you. If this is the case, she is just delaying fate, and it's not going to work out between y'all.

1/28/2009 11:25:21 PM

well now is the time to talk about it with her

have you spent time together otherwise or is she blowing you off?

you better talk that shit out

1/28/2009 11:26:04 PM

You just got to look her in the eye and say" Bitch, make me a sandwich".

1/28/2009 11:26:05 PM

^ this man has no girlfriend

1/28/2009 11:26:47 PM

She was probably just stressed when you asked her yesterday to do something so she responded like "I'm going to have SO much to do" because if you have a lot to do sometimes making plans in advance adds more stress.

Then maybe tonight rolled around and she felt obligated to go out with the cast OR maybe she just realized she didn't have as much work as she thought and decided to go out. I mean, it would probably have been nice of her to tell you that. I dunno.

1/28/2009 11:27:09 PM

Just go out with your boys and call her the next day. If it pisses you off that she's never available then tell her that. If you saying that pisses her off...then time to move on.

1/28/2009 11:27:27 PM

I can see where you went wrong here

Quote :

"She goes to Meredith"

fail.

1/28/2009 11:27:44 PM

Quote :

"I'm not the obsessive boyfriend"

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WOLFWEB THREAD MAKING BOYFRIEND FTW

1/28/2009 11:28:25 PM

Quote :

"She goes to Meredith"

Well there's your problem!

1/28/2009 11:29:43 PM

Quote :

"^ this man has no girlfriend"

I do, I'm just not dumb enough to say that to her. She gets pissed off when I call her woman, I'm not about to find out what happens if i call her bitch.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:30 PM. Reason : []

1/28/2009 11:30:07 PM

She has a habit of getting too into character. She works really hard to get into character mode and then has a hard time getting out of it. Right now she is playing an anarexic with self esteem issues. Yay for me.

1/28/2009 11:30:24 PM

Meredith + theatre = are you sure she's not gay?

1/28/2009 11:31:15 PM

oh hmmmm...she has trouble seperating reality from being on stage....probably not a good combo

1/28/2009 11:31:20 PM

^4 you should know better than to talk shit on the internet

if you say something then fucking mean it

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:31 PM. Reason : -]

1/28/2009 11:31:25 PM

I meant that he should do it, nowhere did I say it was a good idea.

1/28/2009 11:32:24 PM

It's good to have time separate from your SO. Maybe she's having such a good time she doesn't want to worry about "relationship" crap right then. Maybe you are socially inept and she'd rather not be embarrassed by you.

lols

1/28/2009 11:32:50 PM

so you're a hypocrite

you espouse one philosophy yet practice another?

^ that's a cruel thing to say

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:33 PM. Reason : you should be better than that]

1/28/2009 11:32:59 PM

What? Just speaking from personal experience, could be a sign that shit isn't working out and get. out. while. you. can.

1/28/2009 11:34:25 PM

you deserve better

he will be better

/will smith

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:35 PM. Reason : ^more periods than... something funny.]

1/28/2009 11:34:25 PM

i think it means she doesn't want coffee. take her out to do something fun and exciting.

1/28/2009 11:34:33 PM

^^^^ damn right

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:34 PM. Reason : added carrot]

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:35 PM. Reason : fuck]

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:37 PM. Reason : she probably didn't want coffee, maybe she is an ice cream kinda girl.]

1/28/2009 11:34:39 PM

Let her know that it would be better to say "I have other plans for tomorrow night with the girls but I don't know what we'll be doing. Let's reschedule for the day after."

That would suit me just fine. It's enough information that you should not feel neglected or put on the back burner. Also, the last bit on the end lets you know that she still wants to hang out.

[Edited on January 28, 2009 at 11:42 PM. Reason : -]

1/28/2009 11:41:44 PM

so what you're saying is that she's at Hi5 now...

1/28/2009 11:42:22 PM

In all seriousness, maybe she finished the work early and wasn't planning on going out tonight but the theatre group asked.
or
She finished her work early so she could go to Hi5.

1/28/2009 11:45:07 PM

I mean, it's obvious to you both that she is blantantly going against what she said she was going to do. Just ask her why and see what she says. Can't hurt.

1/28/2009 11:48:01 PM

set 'em up

1/28/2009 11:49:10 PM