It was raining this morning. It was dark. I didnt want to turn on the light and wake my kid up, so I grabbed the umbrella out of the closet.

it was a normal, dark blue umbrella, some sort of insignia on it. who cares what the umbrella says, right?

I got out side opened it up, walking in the rain, i saw through the material of the umbrella, the white, distinctive letters superimposed on top of each other.

N and C

















as in,
















Look, I didn't know my wife had a UNC umbrella. I mean who the fuck would have known?

But I'm sad to say, that when it came down to it, i used it anyhow.

It kept me dry.




I know my apology will never make up for the fact that i did it... but I'm sorry.









[Edited on March 3, 2009 at 3:51 PM. Reason : ]

3/3/2009 3:48:20 PM

i can honestly say that i would not have used that umbrella.

3/3/2009 3:49:01 PM

3/3/2009 3:49:11 PM

/

3/3/2009 3:49:34 PM

3/3/2009 3:49:35 PM

there is no way I would have done this. I would have melted the fucking thing and bitched her out

3/3/2009 3:49:42 PM

They obvious next course of action would be to sodomize yourself with it and say 10 hail mary's

Then, and only then, will you be forgiven for your sin

3/3/2009 3:50:08 PM

divorce that bitch

3/3/2009 3:50:22 PM

Quote :

"turn it blue"

3/3/2009 3:51:24 PM

a real fan would have thrown that shit on the ground at that spot

or better yet, beat a unc psych major turned bum on the corner with it

but no real alumni would have used that shit

3/3/2009 3:52:00 PM

strange that it was dook blue

3/3/2009 3:52:11 PM

I would have waited until there were at least 10 people nearby, made a scene when I noticed it was unc, then threw it down, and kept walking in the rain





[but of course how would I have not seen it when I opened it in the first place...]

[Edited on March 3, 2009 at 3:53 PM. Reason : ^^ beat me to it hahahahah]

3/3/2009 3:52:42 PM

time to dut out insignia and tie dye red white and black

3/3/2009 3:53:52 PM

in my defense:

it was not carolina blue. it was a darker shade of blue but not dook blue. hells bells, it was in disguise.

when i noticed it, i was already halfway to the bus stop. no one was around at 5:45 am to see my umbrella. i folded it and put it away before i got on the bus.

i havent taken it out of my jacket pocket, since.

i'm going to return it to my wife (shes a UNC grad, BTW...) and never use it again. maybe its my engineering training, or just the way i was raised, but i cant abide destroying a perfectly functional resource, even with the logo. plus, if i do, she'll use my umbrella at the most inopportune time...

but i promise, no person did or ever will see me with it. I shall never lay my hands on this abominable thing again.







[Edited on March 3, 2009 at 4:00 PM. Reason : ]

3/3/2009 3:58:51 PM

I'd burn it and buy her a state one.

3/3/2009 4:00:22 PM

id burn it and make her buy a state one

3/3/2009 4:01:11 PM

there is no defense

3/3/2009 4:02:12 PM

I'd beat her with it

3/3/2009 4:09:31 PM

...and you call yourself an alumni...

NO, just.... just go.

3/3/2009 4:13:14 PM

I don't understand this kind of all-consuming genuine rivalry hatred. Is it a guy thing? I don't think I've ever met any women who felt that way.

3/3/2009 4:18:06 PM

*enter woman who feels that way*

sorry isn't good enough

3/3/2009 4:22:35 PM

Quote :

"I don't understand this kind of all-consuming genuine rivalry hatred. Is it a guy thing? I don't think I've ever met any women who felt that way."

all the women that feel this way are already married, because they are fucking awesome!



[Edited on March 3, 2009 at 4:24 PM. Reason : .]

3/3/2009 4:23:56 PM

3/3/2009 4:24:27 PM

or engaged to be married like me

3/3/2009 4:25:40 PM

^ my point

3/3/2009 4:26:07 PM

i'd burn her and buy a state one

3/3/2009 4:27:20 PM

I always thought people about this weren't really, truly serious until I was seeing a guy from UNC (OMG someone shoot me) who hated Duke and I put on my friend's Duke shirt as a joke and went to kiss him and he flipped his shit. I just don't get it. But I guess I'm not enough of a hater.

3/3/2009 4:32:47 PM

you're just not a big sports fan.

3/3/2009 4:35:42 PM

3/3/2009 4:36:24 PM

So long as the bus stop you referred to wasn't on State campus, I don't give a hoot.

3/3/2009 4:37:57 PM

More and more truth coming out. Now not only did the wife trick you into using a UNC umbrella that she OWNS, she also hid the fact that she's a UNC grad from you. You have to divorce her now.

I mean you couldn't possibly have married her knowing that, could you?

3/3/2009 4:40:03 PM

Quote :

" Look, I didn't know my wife had a UNC umbrella. I mean who the fuck would have known? "

Quote :

"i'm going to return it to my wife (shes a UNC grad, BTW...)"

3/3/2009 4:42:35 PM

who cares.

I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

3/3/2009 4:43:50 PM

3/3/2009 5:12:38 PM

Quote :

"I'd burn it and buy her a state one. "

[Edited on March 3, 2009 at 5:15 PM. Reason : /]

3/3/2009 5:15:01 PM

Quote :

"you're just not a big sports fan."

Not necessarily. I'm not too big of a sports fan but I'm NCSU alum and I find this entirely unacceptable.

3/3/2009 5:23:51 PM

Quote :

"Now not only did the wife trick you into using a UNC umbrella that she OWNS, she also hid the fact that she's a UNC grad from you. ... I mean you couldn't possibly have married her knowing that, could you?"

she doesnt own a single piece of UNC gear, that i ever saw... she doesnt like sports and doesnt particularly like UNC. she actually was only there for 2 years to get her second degree, a BSN (nursing). Her first degree was from Appalachian State. if anything she considers herself an ASU alum.

so, honestly, i had no reason to think there was a stinking mis-colored tarhole umbrella hiding in the closet.



but I swear, no person saw. and im obviously not on UNC or NCSU ground out here in Seattle.

but now I have to live with my guilty conscious.

i throw myself upon your mercy, TDUB.

how can i atone?

3/3/2009 9:26:38 PM

kick her in the nuts

3/3/2009 9:28:32 PM

inappropriate, gratuitous use of quotation marks

3/3/2009 9:28:37 PM

COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE

3/3/2009 10:13:10 PM

my wife has this UNC Medicine hoody that she bought one summer about 4 years ago because the AC was too cold in the building.

I still have not recovered fully.

3/3/2009 10:16:45 PM

unnecessary quotation marks "in" this "thread"

3/3/2009 10:27:29 PM

I am proud of the way you acquitted yourself, joe_schmoe, you have brought honor to the engineering profession by not destroying a functional item and you have avoided shame by hiding the dishonorable insignia of puke blue tarheels.

I salute thee.

[Edited on March 3, 2009 at 10:30 PM. Reason : but srsly, bitch out thine wife]

3/3/2009 10:30:03 PM

I would have went all the way back and gotten a different one. And I wouldn't have admitted my mistake to anyone. Only if someone saw me leaving the bus stop, or I was late for where I was going.

3/3/2009 10:30:34 PM

i would have stopped right there and burned it, called my wife, cussed her out, walked to my lawyers office and got the papers made out for a divorce

3/3/2009 10:32:17 PM

Q: could you really burn a UNC umbrella in the middle of a rainstorm?

A: Yes, the fires of wolfpack wrath are sufficient to burn through most UNC branded merchandise regardless of the current weather conditions.

3/4/2009 12:36:18 AM

Seriously though, your wife went to UNC and you're surprised that she owns some UNC shit?

3/4/2009 1:07:30 AM

so they sell UNC shit in walmarts in seattle too huh?

3/4/2009 1:21:00 AM

there actually is no WalMart anywhere in seattle.

its a city law.

apparently there is one WAY out on the far edge of suburbs, somewhere, but i dont know where.

but yeah, maybe she got it at Target.

or stole it from some UNC-trained doctor at the hospital

3/4/2009 8:42:02 AM

set em up

3/4/2009 8:50:04 AM