do you ever wipe with your sock?neither do I, you sick bastards
3/11/2009 1:02:35 PM
i wipe with my cock
3/11/2009 1:03:04 PM
ummm, k
3/11/2009 1:04:02 PM
I've used a t-shirt onceand another time sacrificed my boxers
3/11/2009 1:05:24 PM
Why wouldn't you just get in the shower?
3/11/2009 1:31:47 PM
I've wiped with a box of cheezits beforeFirst I used the plastic bag inside but couldn't get much scraping powerSo I tore the box into thin strips and did a kind of flossing motion thru my crackIt was suprisingly effective
3/11/2009 1:31:49 PM
3/11/2009 1:35:12 PM
I make it a point to never run out of TP
3/11/2009 1:36:28 PM
come on guys we are in our 20's
3/11/2009 1:37:15 PM
20s are the new 0s
3/11/2009 1:38:38 PM
3/11/2009 1:42:38 PM
the shower method only works after a "clean pick" situationwhat if the previous night was a chili night or a Taco Bell night?
3/11/2009 1:42:51 PM
when my wife and i hadn't been dating too long we went skiing out in Taos with my family and hiked up to a double black diamond - while up there it hit me and there was no way it could be held in - there were some rocks that i was about to crouch behind while she played lookout - i used my service raleigh t-shirt and left it up there - luckily just as i was done one of the rangers came by
3/11/2009 1:53:25 PM
i have wiped with a golf towel in the woods on a golf course... we were walking and it couldnt wait.
3/11/2009 2:06:16 PM
and you smell a little vaporDIARRHEA
3/11/2009 2:07:04 PM
3/11/2009 2:07:20 PM
a friend of mine in high school pinched a loaf off on some rocks in a ditch behind the band room. when we went out to the practice field for class everybody saw it. plenty of lawlz that day
3/11/2009 2:20:24 PM
fast food napkins ftw
3/11/2009 2:23:46 PM
I keep paper towels in my purse for this very reason.
3/11/2009 2:32:29 PM
I have used a sock. But only when I was running and had one of those emergency runner shits.
3/11/2009 5:50:48 PM
Leaves are good too! Just dont go in a pine forest [Edited on March 11, 2009 at 5:52 PM. Reason : ..]
3/11/2009 5:52:31 PM
search the trash can next to the toilet and hope theres some paper towels or tissue from wiping your nose or some other semi-sanitary event.or just get up and penguin waddle to the kitchen for paper towels[Edited on March 11, 2009 at 6:09 PM. Reason : .]
3/11/2009 6:08:28 PM
don't flush the paper towels. they don't break down as quickly as toilet paper and they could back up the toilet
3/11/2009 6:11:19 PM
epic tactic... peel the paper towels at the corners and it splits into 2 thin sheets.
3/11/2009 6:13:20 PM
Only time I run out of TP is outside the house. ie public toiletting since I've never shat or pissed in the woods, paper towel gets flushed. whoops.
3/11/2009 6:21:37 PM
3/11/2009 6:27:36 PM
One time while I was diving in a quarry, I just couldn't hold it. We surfaced on the side furthest away from the entry point (we were going to kick around the whole quarry) due to my dive buddies being hungry, and decided to surface kick back across.About halfway there I couldn't hold it anymore. I took my gear off and floated it next to me, then stripped out of the top half of my wetsuit -- I also alerted everyone else to what was about to happen (they quickly kicked away, and I got one of them to bring my gear with them).Out it came... Let me tell you, if you've never taken a shit with your ass below the waterline, it's a totally new experience.Part of it was still 'attached' so I quickly swatted it away, and a quick glance behind me confirmed the fish were getting a tasty meal.Still had to wipe after I got out...there was some poo residue still down there...
3/11/2009 7:05:20 PM
omg best poop story ever
3/11/2009 7:07:25 PM
I have made it a habit to bring a roll of toilet paper with me whenever I go on a trip, or any kind of diving expedition. You never know when or where you might need it. I've been in some interesting port-a-potties that are out of TP, and some others that haven't been cleaned in awhile. Imagine a "poo castle" where the pile of shit is stacked up almost to the toilet seat, and then has a used tampon there for good measure. Some of my friends ribbed me about bringing TP with me, until they needed to take a shit and the port-a-potty didn't have any TP. [Edited on March 11, 2009 at 7:12 PM. Reason : ]
3/11/2009 7:11:22 PM
i always keep TP in a gallon ziploc bag in the boat. you haven't shit until you've shit over the gunwale of a boat. the grab bar on a center console make a good anchor point. if that's not an option, you can tie a rope to a cleat on the other gunwale and hold onto it as you hang your ass off the side. the best part is that you'll be somewhere where you haven't seen another boat in hours, and as soon as you get settled in, someone will come around the corner. most people pretend they don't see the other boat, but i like to wave.
3/11/2009 7:15:59 PM
As NeuseRvrRat and I have demonstrated, it pays to be prepared.
3/11/2009 7:18:03 PM
this has never happened to meI always have TP in stockI DO NOT FUCK AROUND
3/11/2009 7:21:08 PM
just think about having to take a dump when you're camping on a rock face
3/11/2009 7:22:24 PM
^
3/11/2009 7:30:24 PM
if the rock is too tall to climb in one outing, that's God telling me "DON'T BE STUPID"
3/11/2009 7:34:33 PM