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 Message Boards » » when you run out of toilet paper Page [1]  
ncstatetke
All American
41128 Posts
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do you ever wipe with your sock?











neither do I, you sick bastards

3/11/2009 1:02:35 PM

dweedle
All American
77387 Posts
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i wipe with my cock

3/11/2009 1:03:04 PM

grimx
#maketwwgreatagain
32337 Posts
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ummm, k

3/11/2009 1:04:02 PM

Hurley
Suspended
7284 Posts
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I've used a t-shirt once

and another time sacrificed my boxers

3/11/2009 1:05:24 PM

hershculez
All American
8483 Posts
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Why wouldn't you just get in the shower?

3/11/2009 1:31:47 PM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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I've wiped with a box of cheezits before

First I used the plastic bag inside but couldn't get much scraping power

So I tore the box into thin strips and did a kind of flossing motion thru my crack

It was suprisingly effective

3/11/2009 1:31:49 PM

Hurley
Suspended
7284 Posts
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Quote :
"Why wouldn't you just get in the shower?"


woods/gas station bathroom

3/11/2009 1:35:12 PM

ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
76471 Posts
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I make it a point to never run out of TP

3/11/2009 1:36:28 PM

not dnl
Suspended
13193 Posts
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come on guys we are in our 20's

3/11/2009 1:37:15 PM

dweedle
All American
77387 Posts
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20s are the new 0s

3/11/2009 1:38:38 PM

CharlesHF
All American
5543 Posts
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Quote :
"I make it a point to never run out of TP "

Winner.

3/11/2009 1:42:38 PM

ncstatetke
All American
41128 Posts
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the shower method only works after a "clean pick" situation


what if the previous night was a chili night or a Taco Bell night?

3/11/2009 1:42:51 PM

OmarBadu
zidik
25097 Posts
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when my wife and i hadn't been dating too long we went skiing out in Taos with my family and hiked up to a double black diamond - while up there it hit me and there was no way it could be held in - there were some rocks that i was about to crouch behind while she played lookout - i used my service raleigh t-shirt and left it up there - luckily just as i was done one of the rangers came by

3/11/2009 1:53:25 PM

john kruk
All American
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i have wiped with a golf towel in the woods on a golf course... we were walking and it couldnt wait.

3/11/2009 2:06:16 PM

tchenku
midshipman
18605 Posts
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and you smell a little vapor

DIARRHEA

3/11/2009 2:07:04 PM

DROD900
All American
24684 Posts
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3/11/2009 2:07:20 PM

gtcastee
Veteran
124 Posts
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a friend of mine in high school pinched a loaf off on some rocks in a ditch behind the band room. when we went out to the practice field for class everybody saw it. plenty of lawlz that day

3/11/2009 2:20:24 PM

MisterGreen
All American
4328 Posts
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fast food napkins ftw

3/11/2009 2:23:46 PM

Kiwi
All American
38546 Posts
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I keep paper towels in my purse for this very reason.

3/11/2009 2:32:29 PM

JCASHFAN
All American
13928 Posts
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I have used a sock. But only when I was running and had one of those emergency runner shits.

3/11/2009 5:50:48 PM

Wickerman
All American
2404 Posts
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Leaves are good too! Just dont go in a pine forest

[Edited on March 11, 2009 at 5:52 PM. Reason : ..]

3/11/2009 5:52:31 PM

dyne
All American
7323 Posts
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search the trash can next to the toilet and hope theres some paper towels or tissue from wiping your nose or some other semi-sanitary event.

or just get up and penguin waddle to the kitchen for paper towels

[Edited on March 11, 2009 at 6:09 PM. Reason : .]

3/11/2009 6:08:28 PM

ncstatetke
All American
41128 Posts
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don't flush the paper towels. they don't break down as quickly as toilet paper and they could back up the toilet

3/11/2009 6:11:19 PM

dyne
All American
7323 Posts
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epic tactic... peel the paper towels at the corners and it splits into 2 thin sheets.

3/11/2009 6:13:20 PM

Kiwi
All American
38546 Posts
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Only time I run out of TP is outside the house. ie public toiletting since I've never shat or pissed in the woods, paper towel gets flushed. whoops.

3/11/2009 6:21:37 PM

evan
All American
27701 Posts
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Quote :
"i have wiped with a golf towel in the woods on a golf course"

3/11/2009 6:27:36 PM

CharlesHF
All American
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One time while I was diving in a quarry, I just couldn't hold it. We surfaced on the side furthest away from the entry point (we were going to kick around the whole quarry) due to my dive buddies being hungry, and decided to surface kick back across.

About halfway there I couldn't hold it anymore.

I took my gear off and floated it next to me, then stripped out of the top half of my wetsuit -- I also alerted everyone else to what was about to happen (they quickly kicked away, and I got one of them to bring my gear with them).

Out it came...

Let me tell you, if you've never taken a shit with your ass below the waterline, it's a totally new experience.

Part of it was still 'attached' so I quickly swatted it away, and a quick glance behind me confirmed the fish were getting a tasty meal.



Still had to wipe after I got out...there was some poo residue still down there...

3/11/2009 7:05:20 PM

Kiwi
All American
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omg best poop story ever

3/11/2009 7:07:25 PM

CharlesHF
All American
5543 Posts
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I have made it a habit to bring a roll of toilet paper with me whenever I go on a trip, or any kind of diving expedition. You never know when or where you might need it.

I've been in some interesting port-a-potties that are out of TP, and some others that haven't been cleaned in awhile. Imagine a "poo castle" where the pile of shit is stacked up almost to the toilet seat, and then has a used tampon there for good measure.

Some of my friends ribbed me about bringing TP with me, until they needed to take a shit and the port-a-potty didn't have any TP.

[Edited on March 11, 2009 at 7:12 PM. Reason : ]

3/11/2009 7:11:22 PM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
35386 Posts
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i always keep TP in a gallon ziploc bag in the boat. you haven't shit until you've shit over the gunwale of a boat. the grab bar on a center console make a good anchor point. if that's not an option, you can tie a rope to a cleat on the other gunwale and hold onto it as you hang your ass off the side. the best part is that you'll be somewhere where you haven't seen another boat in hours, and as soon as you get settled in, someone will come around the corner. most people pretend they don't see the other boat, but i like to wave.

3/11/2009 7:15:59 PM

CharlesHF
All American
5543 Posts
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As NeuseRvrRat and I have demonstrated, it pays to be prepared.

3/11/2009 7:18:03 PM

The Dude
All American
6502 Posts
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this has never happened to me

I always have TP in stock

I DO NOT FUCK AROUND

3/11/2009 7:21:08 PM

j_sun
All American
9198 Posts
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just think about having to take a dump when you're camping on a rock face

3/11/2009 7:22:24 PM

dyne
All American
7323 Posts
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^

3/11/2009 7:30:24 PM

wwwebsurfer
All American
10217 Posts
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if the rock is too tall to climb in one outing, that's God telling me "DON'T BE STUPID"

3/11/2009 7:34:33 PM

 Message Boards » Chit Chat » when you run out of toilet paper Page [1]  
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