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 Message Boards » » Men's Rules and Women's Rules Page [1]  
Big4Country
All American
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A girl that I am friends with is upset with me because I told someone else that "She is just a friend and I party with her family tree" (That is the truth too). Now she's pissed at me for no reason at all. She thinks that I want people to know we aren't dating and that I think she is fat. Anyway this made me think of an old e-mail I got that is sort of true. Add any rules if there are some missing.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
(Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!)


1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, and you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows', default settings. Peach, for example; is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


GIRLS RULES

TOP 30 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT US!!!



1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out.

2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.

3. Don't say you understand when you don't.

4. Girls are petty, get over it.

5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like.

6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

7. If you talk about having a big dick, we know you don't.

8. Zit's happen to everyone. Yes, Mr. Perfect, even to you.

9. We don't like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big.

10.A system in your car only impresses your homeboys.

11. No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a pig.

12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes.

13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize.

14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it.

15. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it.

16. We are drama queens.

17. Fashion police do exist.

18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it.

19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc.

20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times.

21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it.

22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out.

23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it.

24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it's not.

25. Don't compare our breasts with Brittany Spear's, hers are fake.

26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets.

27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps. (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.)

28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't.

29. It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else.

30. If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't.

3/16/2009 2:29:35 PM

BubbleBobble
BACK IN DA HIGH LIFE
115316 Posts
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this shit is fucking stupid

3/16/2009 2:31:17 PM

qntmfred
retired
41221 Posts
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^

3/16/2009 2:31:49 PM

wawebste
All American
19599 Posts
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this shit is fucking stupid

3/16/2009 2:31:58 PM

Big4Country
All American
11928 Posts
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^Some of it is, but some of them are the truth.

3/16/2009 2:32:22 PM

Vix
All American
8522 Posts
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Quote :
"We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening.
"


So so wrong.

Quote :
"Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it. "


Wrong. I like being asked. Being forced is even better.

Quote :
"We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc."


Nein. Talk nerdy to me. Especially the Star Wars kind.

Quote :
"If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't."


No, it's because you won fair and square. All girls aren't sore losers and whiny bitches.

3/16/2009 2:43:30 PM

not dnl
Suspended
13193 Posts
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i read about 3 before i realized it was a big waste of time

3/16/2009 2:46:41 PM

Ragged
All American
23473 Posts
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Quote :
"1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
"


thank god thats cleared up

3/16/2009 2:51:24 PM

Big4Country
All American
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1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

It's the truth.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

There is truth to this, but most men seem to be smart enough to figure it out. "I don't want anything." results in my mom getting a nice gift that she will enjoy, but this past year it was nice of her to tell the family straight up what she wanted and then we bought it for her.

3/16/2009 2:51:25 PM

GGMon
All American
6462 Posts
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this shit is fucking stupid

Also - vix MUST have been molested by a close family member.

3/16/2009 3:16:18 PM

frugal_qualm
All American
1398 Posts
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^ just drop it. Thread [fail]. Move along.

3/16/2009 3:19:13 PM

Arab13
Art Vandelay
45181 Posts
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Quote :
"Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!"


lulz, this one chick on the masters team G.O.D and I are on insisted the other night that this doesn't work...

3/16/2009 3:54:51 PM

DROD900
All American
24684 Posts
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anyone who needs lists like this already lost

3/16/2009 4:02:16 PM

Wraith
All American
27334 Posts
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Any time "rules" are listed like this, especially when dealing with dating or relationships, it is always fucking stupid. I think the worst is that "guy code" crap.

3/16/2009 4:35:55 PM

ALkatraz
All American
11299 Posts
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Quote :
"guy code"

Is that where some girl tells guys how to act?

Also, bro code...brode.

3/16/2009 4:37:29 PM

poopface
All American
29367 Posts
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3/16/2009 4:38:04 PM

Ragged
All American
23473 Posts
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Quote :
"^ just drop it. Thread [fail]. Move along"


attn: users <1000 posts

3/16/2009 4:50:17 PM

jetskipro
All American
1635 Posts
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i enjoy reading crap like this. the guy lists are painfully obvious to anyone with a working brain, male or female. more often than not girls that claim that guys are "complicated" are either making the situation more complicated than necessary by over-thinking it or they just want it to be more complicated so that it makes for interesting gossip.

the girl's lists are created to satisfy women's rule #4

3/16/2009 6:58:22 PM

SFAOK
Veteran
406 Posts
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Quote :
"23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it. "


i'm going to have to disagree. beards are such a turn-on.

3/16/2009 7:19:10 PM

fredbot3000
All American
5835 Posts
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[old]

like keith richards

3/16/2009 7:25:15 PM

BigEgo
Not suspended
24374 Posts
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Vix, bwn?

3/16/2009 7:27:25 PM

Flying Tiger
All American
2341 Posts
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I laughed at the color one

3/16/2009 7:49:33 PM

MetalRed
All American
27124 Posts
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Quote :
"i'm going to have to disagree. beards are such a turn-on."



SEE, PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

3/16/2009 8:30:26 PM

ncsuapex
SpaceForRent
37776 Posts
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O'Doyle Rules!

3/16/2009 8:31:24 PM

Ronny
All American
30652 Posts
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Holy shit, how long has it been since a spam email from ARPANET was turned into a thread by some unaware douchebag like Big4Country?

This is incredible.

3/16/2009 8:50:17 PM

ScubaSteve
All American
5523 Posts
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it has been awhile since anyone has started a men v women thread.. or a thread that turned in to that.

3/16/2009 8:53:22 PM

thegoodoctor
All American
1670 Posts
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Quote :
"1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!"


I think this one belongs on both lists... just saying.

3/16/2009 9:00:33 PM

marko
Tom Joad
72922 Posts
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MAN RULE NUMBER ONE

I DIDN'T READ YOUR RULES

CAUSE AS A MAN

I FOLLOW NO RULES

3/16/2009 9:04:17 PM

synapse
play so hard
60946 Posts
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marko wins

yet again

3/16/2009 9:10:34 PM

OopsPowSrprs
All American
8383 Posts
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Quote :
"Wrong. I like being asked. Being forced is even better."


So so hot.

3/16/2009 9:20:12 PM

Paul1984
All American
2855 Posts
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Quote :
"We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! "



"YES! You see Marty, to us it is the year 2009...BUT in this thread it is the year the internet was first invented!"

3/16/2009 10:33:37 PM

jetskipro
All American
1635 Posts
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^^

3/16/2009 10:35:20 PM

StateCole
All American
3597 Posts
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fuck that i just live

3/16/2009 10:36:15 PM

Joie
begonias is my boo
22491 Posts
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^^^lol

3/16/2009 11:37:00 PM

vonjordan3
AIR
43669 Posts
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Nice back to the future joke!

3/17/2009 9:33:36 AM

Big4Country
All American
11928 Posts
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^BTTF is awesome!







[Edited on March 17, 2009 at 12:30 PM. Reason : .]

3/17/2009 12:29:14 PM

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