A girl that I am friends with is upset with me because I told someone else that "She is just a friend and I party with her family tree" (That is the truth too). Now she's pissed at me for no reason at all. She thinks that I want people to know we aren't dating and that I think she is fat. Anyway this made me think of an old e-mail I got that is sort of true. Add any rules if there are some missing.We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! (Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!)1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, and you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.1. Crying is blackmail.1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows', default settings. Peach, for example; is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.1. If it itches, it will be scratched.1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or trucks.1. You have enough clothes.1. You have too many shoes.1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping-------------------------------------------------------------------------------GIRLS RULES TOP 30 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT US!!!1. Don't ever lie to us, we always find out. 2. We don't enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening. 3. Don't say you understand when you don't. 4. Girls are petty, get over it. 5. You don't have PMS; don't act like you know what it's like. 6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. 7. If you talk about having a big dick, we know you don't. 8. Zit's happen to everyone. Yes, Mr. Perfect, even to you. 9. We don't like it when you act like Mr Big; we like it when you are Mr Big. 10.A system in your car only impresses your homeboys. 11. No matter what you say, your ex girlfriend is a pig. 12. It's good to be sensitive, sometimes. 13. If you did something wrong or even if you didn't, apologize. 14. Be spontaneous, dinner and a movie won't always cut it. 15. We are self-conscious by nature, we can't help it. 16. We are drama queens. 17. Fashion police do exist. 18. Don't ask us to give head; if you are nice you just might get it. 19. We absolutely do not care about monster trucks, or anything else you and your friends talk about, like: how much you know about the video games, porn, computers, Star Wars, etc. 20. Hugs and kisses must be given at all times. 21. We don't shave our legs every day, get over it. 22. Don't make bets about us, we always find out. 23. Shave - no matter how cool you think it looks, we hate it. 24. Even if you think it is cool to burp, fart, or emit other strange gases from your body, it's not. 25. Don't compare our breasts with Brittany Spear's, hers are fake. 26. It is not cool to shoot snot rockets. 27. We are beautiful, but make-up helps. (All girls love makeup, do not call us prissy or tell us we worry to much about the way we look for wearing it.) 28. We will always think we are fat so humor us and tell us we aren't. 29. It doesn't make you look cool to make fun of someone else. 30. If you ever beat us in a sport or game, it's always because you cheated, even if you didn't.
3/16/2009 2:29:35 PM
this shit is fucking stupid
3/16/2009 2:31:17 PM
^
3/16/2009 2:31:49 PM
3/16/2009 2:31:58 PM
^Some of it is, but some of them are the truth.
3/16/2009 2:32:22 PM
3/16/2009 2:43:30 PM
i read about 3 before i realized it was a big waste of time
3/16/2009 2:46:41 PM
3/16/2009 2:51:24 PM
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.It's the truth.1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!There is truth to this, but most men seem to be smart enough to figure it out. "I don't want anything." results in my mom getting a nice gift that she will enjoy, but this past year it was nice of her to tell the family straight up what she wanted and then we bought it for her.
3/16/2009 2:51:25 PM
this shit is fucking stupidAlso - vix MUST have been molested by a close family member.
3/16/2009 3:16:18 PM
^ just drop it. Thread [fail]. Move along.
3/16/2009 3:19:13 PM
3/16/2009 3:54:51 PM
anyone who needs lists like this already lost
3/16/2009 4:02:16 PM
Any time "rules" are listed like this, especially when dealing with dating or relationships, it is always fucking stupid. I think the worst is that "guy code" crap.
3/16/2009 4:35:55 PM
3/16/2009 4:37:29 PM
3/16/2009 4:38:04 PM
3/16/2009 4:50:17 PM
i enjoy reading crap like this. the guy lists are painfully obvious to anyone with a working brain, male or female. more often than not girls that claim that guys are "complicated" are either making the situation more complicated than necessary by over-thinking it or they just want it to be more complicated so that it makes for interesting gossip.the girl's lists are created to satisfy women's rule #4
3/16/2009 6:58:22 PM
3/16/2009 7:19:10 PM
[old]like keith richards
3/16/2009 7:25:15 PM
Vix, bwn?
3/16/2009 7:27:25 PM
I laughed at the color one
3/16/2009 7:49:33 PM
3/16/2009 8:30:26 PM
O'Doyle Rules!
3/16/2009 8:31:24 PM
Holy shit, how long has it been since a spam email from ARPANET was turned into a thread by some unaware douchebag like Big4Country?This is incredible.
3/16/2009 8:50:17 PM
it has been awhile since anyone has started a men v women thread.. or a thread that turned in to that.
3/16/2009 8:53:22 PM
3/16/2009 9:00:33 PM
MAN RULE NUMBER ONEI DIDN'T READ YOUR RULESCAUSE AS A MANI FOLLOW NO RULES
3/16/2009 9:04:17 PM
marko winsyet again
3/16/2009 9:10:34 PM
3/16/2009 9:20:12 PM
3/16/2009 10:33:37 PM
^^
3/16/2009 10:35:20 PM
fuck that i just live
3/16/2009 10:36:15 PM
^^^lol
3/16/2009 11:37:00 PM
Nice back to the future joke!
3/17/2009 9:33:36 AM
^BTTF is awesome! [Edited on March 17, 2009 at 12:30 PM. Reason : .]
3/17/2009 12:29:14 PM