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 Message Boards » » How about a condom Page [1]  
Eulogist
All American
6261 Posts
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...that doesn't make so much motherfucking noise in my pocket

god damn

3/21/2009 11:04:08 PM

sawahash
All American
35322 Posts
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I didn't know that was an issue

3/21/2009 11:05:51 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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that only happens after uve been carryin the same condom around for about 3 years

3/21/2009 11:06:46 PM

omicron101
All American
3665 Posts
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never had that problem before. what kind of condoms you use?

3/21/2009 11:10:50 PM

zxappeal
All American
26824 Posts
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Little bit of info for ya...Most of the damned things come in a celluoid plastic wrapper. That's what's making all the fucking noise.

Use your head for something besides a goddamn hair factory and buy the ones in foil wrappers. THEY DON'T MAKE NOISE.

And if you don't use it the night that you have been carrying around, ditch it, because it's likely you've compromised the wrapper. And then well, whatever happens is your own dumbass fault.

3/21/2009 11:12:03 PM

sawahash
All American
35322 Posts
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Are you trying to hide your intentions of fucking the chick?

3/21/2009 11:13:57 PM

Eulogist
All American
6261 Posts
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you guys are fucking stupid

it's foil
it's fresh

at a bar, club no problem
quiet room i can't get my phone or lighter without hearing the crinkle

maybe it's because i'm not wearing loose fatass jeans

^that's presumptuous. what if i don't want her to hear it because I don't want to fuck her





[Edited on March 21, 2009 at 11:17 PM. Reason : x]

3/21/2009 11:14:37 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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i think he just wants to point out that he is always ready to have sex

3/21/2009 11:14:50 PM

EMCE
balls deep
90012 Posts
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bwn at your place

keep the rubbers in a drawer near your bed

3/21/2009 11:15:20 PM

TroopofEchos
All American
12212 Posts
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"Goodie Drawer"

3/21/2009 11:16:26 PM

Vix
All American
8522 Posts
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Just carry the Magnum XXL kind with you and take it out of your pocket while you're trying to find your lighter

Chicks dig those, or so I hear

3/21/2009 11:16:31 PM

sawahash
All American
35322 Posts
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emo jeans ftl.

Put it in a different pocket.

3/21/2009 11:17:07 PM

zxappeal
All American
26824 Posts
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Well, I have to admit, I've fucked stupid before. They are the ones who don't think a thing about it.

But you gotta quit being so stupid yourself. And think this shit out in advance, mister gotta-be-a-stunna wearin' tight ass jeans. Tape the fucking thing to your leg or something. Like your shin or calf or something.

3/21/2009 11:17:21 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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hear to hear it

this is about to turn into a metro fashion thread

[Edited on March 21, 2009 at 11:18 PM. Reason : d]

3/21/2009 11:17:33 PM

sawahash
All American
35322 Posts
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Why do you have a condom if you don't want to have sex with her?

[Edited on March 21, 2009 at 11:21 PM. Reason : ]

3/21/2009 11:20:45 PM

Eulogist
All American
6261 Posts
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all i'm saying is they got noisy wrappers

[Edited on March 21, 2009 at 11:25 PM. Reason : ^lots of times. i just like to be prepared. ]

3/21/2009 11:20:51 PM

zxappeal
All American
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all I'm sayin' is if that sound scares 'em off, you ain't pitched your best game.

Genuine confidence is the sexiest thing a man can wear. If you're all worried about this, you need to bone up on that.

3/21/2009 11:24:46 PM

Eulogist
All American
6261 Posts
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thug life yo

3/21/2009 11:30:57 PM

zxappeal
All American
26824 Posts
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You don't get it.

3/21/2009 11:31:32 PM

sawahash
All American
35322 Posts
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Well I'm sorry I kicked you out when I heard the condom. I'm just not ready to move their in our relationship and I just got freaked out and nervous.

3/21/2009 11:34:10 PM

mcfluffle
All American
11291 Posts
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you´re doing it wrong

3/21/2009 11:34:16 PM

Ronny
All American
30652 Posts
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Quote :
"i think he just wants to point out that he is always ready to have sex
"


Also, I was expecting mention of ball condoms.

3/21/2009 11:48:49 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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balls in the ass

dick in the pussy

3/21/2009 11:49:28 PM

o
Veteran
428 Posts
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just put it on and throw away the wrapper..... problem solved.

3/22/2009 1:27:29 AM

fredbot3000
All American
5835 Posts
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keep it in your shoe

3/22/2009 1:48:48 AM

BubbleBobble
BACK IN DA HIGH LIFE
115318 Posts
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holy crap this is a stupid thread

3/22/2009 1:50:08 AM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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I ANTICIPATE HAVING SEX ON A REGULAR BASIS

3/22/2009 1:54:45 AM

OopsPowSrprs
All American
8383 Posts
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I FUCING HATE CONDOMS


I NUT IN EVERY BITHC I FUNCK

3/22/2009 2:26:21 AM

sawahash
All American
35322 Posts
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^having trouble with the word FUCK?

3/22/2009 2:33:59 AM

Amsterdam718
All American
15134 Posts
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Quote :
"i think he just wants to point out that he is always ready to have sex"

3/22/2009 3:09:15 AM

pancakemouse
All American
5138 Posts
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lol @ chris

3/22/2009 3:20:07 AM

JBaz
All American
16764 Posts
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I think the OP Jizzes in his pants... that's why he has to have a condom on 24/7

[Edited on March 22, 2009 at 4:01 AM. Reason : ]

3/22/2009 4:00:59 AM

wolfpackgrrr
All American
39759 Posts
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Had a law professor I was drinking with last night tell me this fucked up story of four friends who went camping. Over the course of camping the two couples hook up.

Girl A catches the preg. Girl A tells Boy A she's pregnant with his baby. He says there's no way. She says he's the only guy she's ever slept with. He says it's still not his.

Baby is born and a test is done. Turns out Boy A reused the condom that Boy B used earlier in the evening, but turned it inside out so the sperm wouldn't touch his penis. So the baby is Boy B's not Boy A's after all, and the court rules that Boy B has to pay child support even though he didn't have sex with Girl A.

3/22/2009 5:59:14 AM

Nitrocloud
Arranging the blocks
3072 Posts
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Application of the above would remove mens rea from law. This would be bad because you could be found guilty (or innocent) of practically anything.

3/22/2009 6:26:33 AM

theDuke866
All American
52991 Posts
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^^

1. That is absolutely disgusting
2. What an idiot.
3. How would you even manage to put on a condom that had already been unrolled? I think that would be pretty difficult.

3/22/2009 8:07:32 AM

wolfpackgrrr
All American
39759 Posts
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Yeah I kind of wonder at the validity of the story but it's still gross to think about I would try to google it but I'm busy doing something else right now.

3/22/2009 8:08:51 AM

pilgrimshoes
Suspended
63151 Posts
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i didnt think the swimmers had a long enough life span for that

idk

3/22/2009 8:53:03 AM

wolfpackgrrr
All American
39759 Posts
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Quote :
"Sperm can survive outside of the body for no more than about an hour. In general, if the semen is still wet it may well have live sperm."


I guess it would be possible from the sperm side of things.

3/22/2009 8:56:19 AM

pilgrimshoes
Suspended
63151 Posts
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and now i know

i thought the lifespan outside the body was more like 10-15 minutes

that's kinda interesting

[Edited on March 22, 2009 at 9:26 AM. Reason : e]

3/22/2009 9:25:59 AM

ALkatraz
All American
11299 Posts
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I, too, have a goodie drawer next to the bed.

3/22/2009 9:38:27 AM

Eulogist
All American
6261 Posts
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i thought everyone did

but you think i want these crazies to know where i live?

3/22/2009 10:47:02 AM

eleusis
All American
24527 Posts
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if you don't want them to know where you live, then drug them first.

3/22/2009 10:50:27 AM

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