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 Message Boards » » Funny stuff in job applications Page [1]  
pooljobs
All American
3481 Posts
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A few excerpts from the many applications I have to read through
Quote :
"Honors, awards, etc:

Awards: Most Sumersaults in a Row(2nd Grade), MVP on Cross Country team('05), Thumbwar Champion(always), Black Belt in Underwater Karate('07)."

Quote :
"Emp. 2 - job descrp.:

hand sanding/assembling wood furniture, computer desks, and chairs-NOTE- I did not remain because I was hired and trained to be a Sprayer /Color Inspector-I passed training and was told to wait for an open booth-I waited 5 months with no avail...I was promised $550 per week- I was disappointed and I turned the company into the labor board-I am proud to say that I did succeed in a way that helped others who were hired after me...*smiles*"

uh, who would put that on a job application?

3/24/2009 1:51:22 PM

pttyndal
WINGS!!!!!
35217 Posts
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3/24/2009 1:52:15 PM

alibaby
All American
8217 Posts
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hahaha. jackleg this reminds me of one of your threads.

3/24/2009 1:52:51 PM

pooljobs
All American
3481 Posts
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the best area always the ones without any previous employment information and when you get to references you get
Quote :
"Reference1: Alicia
Relationship1: Girlfriend"

3/24/2009 1:54:58 PM

Vix
All American
8522 Posts
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What kind of jobs are these people applying for?

3/24/2009 1:55:33 PM

pooljobs
All American
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pooljobs

haha, i wish i could show you some of the background checks from the NO pile

3/24/2009 1:57:22 PM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
34079 Posts
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Best one I've seen here was when a guy tried to disguise his 5 month gap between jobs as a 'freelance video game tester'

He said he wasn't officially under contract with anyone but was active on message boards at gamefaqs and ign and received feedback from the developers

He still got the job here

and his office is bigger than mine

3/24/2009 1:57:53 PM

pooljobs
All American
3481 Posts
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Quote :
"From the desk of.....
Mrs.Alicia Obert
Hello,
How are you doing today?I hope that all is well.Would you like to work online from home and get paid per payment ?A & O ARTS & CRAFTS needs a book-keeper in the State and europe,so i want to know if you will like to work online from home and get paid per payment without leaving or affecting your present job?I presently run an arts galleria, i and my late Dad do this together before he died and we have the company in UK and AFRICA.We need someone to work for the company as a representative/bookkeeper in the states and europe. My company deals in the sale of Art and Craft works,sculptures and carvings,antique artifacts and produces various clothing materials,batiks,assorted fabrics and various traditional costumes from all over the world and we have clients that we supply weekly in the States and europe.

My clients make payments for our supplies every week in form of wire transaction,Money Orders, and cheque, which are not readily cashable outside the UnitedStates and europe,so we need someone in the States and europe to work as our representative and assist usin processing the payments from our clients and you would be paid 5% of the totalamount invloved per any payment you receive.

ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TO RECEIVE THIS PAYMENTS FROM OUR CLIENTS IN THESTATES AND IN EUROPE GET IT CASHED THEN DEDUCT YOUR PAYMENT AS WE HAVE SAID AND FOWARD THE BALANCETO THE COMPANY DOWN HERE VIA WESTERN UNION TRANSFER.

Our payments will be issued out in your name and you get them cashed deduct your 5%of the total amount invloved as we have said, and forward the balance to the company via western union. Basically, what the Company is searching for is a Representative/Book-keeper in the State and europe, who would help to establish a medium of getting our funds from our customers there.

If you are interested in working with uswe would be very glad as inability to get our Payment in cash has posed a big problem and has affected account reconciliation and turn over grossly.These are legitimate transactions between our customers and our company Representative.We are offering 5% of the total amount invloved per any payment you receive andsubject to your satisfaction you will be given the opportunity to negotiate the modeby which we will pay for your services as our official Representative/Book-keeper in the States and europe.

The mode we would prefer would be instant deduction of your payment from the Amount you cashed before going ahead to send whatever is left back via Western union/Money gram money transfer.We are aware that you would be charged to have the money sent whatever that would amount is to be deducted from the balance of the funds after youmust have deducted your own payment.Please if you are interested forward the following information so that i can send you the employment form:
1.Full name:
2.Phone number:
3.Full contact address:
4.Nationality:
5.Marital status:
I await your urgent response, Kindly reply back.Warmest Regards,Alicia Obert. CEO A&O ARTS & CRAFT.
"

3/24/2009 1:59:50 PM

Skack
All American
31140 Posts
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Quote :
"Most Sumersaults in a Row(2nd Grade), MVP on Cross Country team('05), Thumbwar Champion(always), Black Belt in Underwater Karate('07)."


This guy sounds cool, but you need to tell him to stop smoking before filling out job applications.

3/24/2009 3:15:03 PM

BigHitSunday
Dick Danger
51059 Posts
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haha @ (always)

3/24/2009 3:46:16 PM

ambrosia1231
eeeeeeeeeevil
76471 Posts
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The first isn't too bad.

The second...egads.

3/24/2009 6:41:58 PM

bobster
All American
2298 Posts
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Quote :
"hobbies/interests: Wold of Warcraft"

Quote :
"hobbies/interests: shopping"

3/24/2009 7:45:37 PM

UberCool
All American
3457 Posts
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^which was worse? seeing him list world of warcraft as a hobby...or that he misspelled it?

[Edited on March 24, 2009 at 7:53 PM. Reason : ]

3/24/2009 7:53:15 PM

twoozles
All American
20735 Posts
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i should get a pool job
i am a cpo, wsi, and lg
and it probably pays better than what i'm doing now

[Edited on March 24, 2009 at 7:53 PM. Reason : ]

3/24/2009 7:53:32 PM

crazy_carl
All American
4073 Posts
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friend of mine applied to a college in crayon, funny thing is he got in..GO FAYETTEVILLE STATE, btw, he already had a full ride to dook and princeton, smart guy

3/24/2009 8:09:35 PM

MovieGuru23
All American
1283 Posts
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a friend of mine got put simply "i like tutti-frutti ice cream" under the personal statement essay when he applied to state and still got in.

3/24/2009 10:06:45 PM

wolfpackgrrr
All American
39759 Posts
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People put the dumbest shit on job applications. I remember working at a store in the mall and we would put half the applications straight in the trash can.

3/24/2009 10:08:25 PM

ScHpEnXeL
Suspended
32613 Posts
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HAHA

[Edited on March 24, 2009 at 10:08 PM. Reason : ^^]

3/24/2009 10:08:53 PM

d357r0y3r
Jimmies: Unrustled
8198 Posts
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Quote :
"Best one I've seen here was when a guy tried to disguise his 5 month gap between jobs as a 'freelance video game tester'

He said he wasn't officially under contract with anyone but was active on message boards at gamefaqs and ign and received feedback from the developers

He still got the job here

and his office is bigger than mine "


Nice, I'll have to use that one.

3/24/2009 10:12:45 PM

AlexRebbel
All American
15028 Posts
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Quote :
"uh, who would put that on a job application?"


dude, thats my resume...wtf


dont be hatin'

3/24/2009 10:43:42 PM

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