Best holiday ever.

For the other Jews out there on TWW, there is a seder tonight on campus. 6:30pm, Broughton Hall room 3219

4/8/2009 2:25:34 PM

what happens on passover?

4/8/2009 2:26:12 PM

i heard there was going to be bagels and lox but no one wanted to spring for them

4/8/2009 2:26:51 PM

lots and lots of wine on passover. no bagels, matzah

4/8/2009 2:27:57 PM

Every Jewish holiday is based around pretty much the same structure:

Step 1) We tell a story about how a certain group got us down, we fought back, and won against all odds

Step 2) Get really, really drunk

Step 3) Profit

4/8/2009 2:28:15 PM

Best holiday ever?

Is that a joke?

You're Jewish, man.

Be funnier.

4/8/2009 2:28:35 PM

which particular group did you overcome for passover?

4/8/2009 2:30:11 PM

Passover and Purim are the only two religious holidays I've ever heard of where you are commanded to drink.

^This is the Exodus story where we were slaves tot eh Egyptians for 400 years and then Moses led us to freedom. We also stole a bunch of gold fromt he Egyptian slave masters and turned it into a cow, but Moses got pissed and destroyed it. Then we had to wander in a desert for 40 years because we were too stubborn to ask for directions.

V 13

[Edited on April 8, 2009 at 2:33 PM. Reason : -]

4/8/2009 2:30:42 PM

^at what age???

4/8/2009 2:31:18 PM

QHow was copper wire invented?







A two jews fighting over a penny

4/8/2009 2:31:26 PM

Quote :

"which particular group did you overcome for passover?"

the egyptians, we celebrate our OG plaguing the shit out of them

4/8/2009 2:32:46 PM

Passover = Egyptians
Purim = Persians
Hanukkah = Greeks

4/8/2009 2:34:36 PM

what about the age limit on being commanded to drink?

4/8/2009 2:35:52 PM

joo

4/8/2009 2:36:50 PM

When you hit 13, you're considered an adult in the Jewish community, and therefor bound to the laws.

So when the law says drink, you drink.

4/8/2009 2:37:09 PM

woah...so what if a cop sees you drinking?

what were the circumstances between the Egyptians and the jews in which they overcame tough odds? like 100k Egyptian army versus 300 jews or something or what?

[Edited on April 8, 2009 at 2:39 PM. Reason : .]

4/8/2009 2:39:23 PM

Quote :

"Kosha boy on the (FLOOR!!!) Spin the dradle watch it (ROLL!!!) My mom makes that bomb matza-ball soup that’s in that (BOWL!!!) For all my (JEWS!!!) Crank that Kosha Boy Now all my (JEWS!!!) Crank that Kosha Boy Now all my (JEWS!!!) Crank that Kosha Boy Now all my (JEWS!!!) Crank that Kosha Boy"

4/8/2009 2:39:58 PM

Quote :

"what were the circumstances between the Egyptians and the jews in which they overcame tough odds? like 100k Egyptian army versus 300 jews or something or what?"

http://www.amazon.com/Ten-Commandments-50th-Anniversary-Collection/dp/B000CNESNA/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1239216241&sr=8-1

4/8/2009 2:44:30 PM

ok, so just to clarify, the kings of egpyt had jews as slaves to build the pyramids etc...and moses was one of these jew slaves, and escaped? and wondered in a desert for 40 years, and then parted the red sea to help the jews escape?

4/8/2009 2:50:18 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1kqqMXWEFs

4/8/2009 2:50:40 PM

Can't fight the seder
Seder!
Can't fight the seder
Seder!

4/8/2009 2:51:18 PM

^^Pharaoh had a dream that an Israelite was going to kill him, so he ordered all of the first born males to be put to death. Moses' mother put him in a basket and sent him down the Nile River, where he was found by Pharaoh's daughter and raised as an Egyptian prince. Then Moses' sister visits him one day and says "yo bro, you're a Heeb." Moses then starts identifying with the slaves, and kills an Egyptian slave master.

He runs into the desert, hooks up with this hot tribal woman, and becomes a shepherd. Then one day he sees a bush that is on fire but isn't being consumed. G-d speaks to Moses from the bush and tells him to go back to Pharaoh and demand that the Israelites go free.

So Moses goes back, says "Let my people go, bitch!" Pharaoh says no, so G-d inflicts plagues on the land of Egypt, so Pharaoh finally says "Aight, get the fuck out."

Then as the Heebs reach the Red Sea, Pharaoh changed his mind and sent the army after him. The sea parts, the Jews reach the other side, then the sea closes and drowns the whole army, including Pharaoh, who's all like "FML."

Then Moses goes up the mountain to get the 10 commandments, he comes back down and sees the the Jews worshiping a golden calf, so he throws the commandments down and destroys them and the calf. Then G-d is all "Yo Moses, you got a real anger issue" and makes the Jews wander int he desert for 40 years so that all those responsible die off and their children enter the holy land.

3000 years later, we fucked up an election in Florida.

The end.

4/8/2009 3:01:38 PM

why do christians care about moses so much if he was a jew?

4/8/2009 3:06:43 PM

Quote :

"why do christians care about moses jesus so much if he was a jew?"

4/8/2009 3:11:51 PM

I'm not Jewish, but matzoh-ball soup is the shit

4/8/2009 9:44:17 PM

so serving alcohol to minors is OK on religious grounds? what if someone called the cops on a seder and they saw teenagers drinking Manischewitz? wouldn't they be obliged to shut it down and write tickets/arrest the offenders? how does this work?

4/8/2009 9:57:58 PM

i think the law makes exceptions for religious ceremonies

not 100% sure though. i know it does in some states.

[Edited on April 8, 2009 at 9:59 PM. Reason : but a jew would say god's law is above man's law, so they wouldn't really care. and i see no prob.]

4/8/2009 9:58:39 PM

answered my own question:

from http://alcoholpolicy.niaaa.nih.gov/index.asp?SEC={B7EBF080-DB1F-4092-9897-E3F083BB3075}&Type=BAS_APIS

Quote :

"Some States also allow exceptions for educational purposes (e.g., students in culinary schools), religious purposes (sacramental use of alcoholic beverages), or medical purposes. "

and specifically for NC:

Quote :

"North Carolina as of 1/1/2008 Furnishing of Alcohol to Minors Furnishing is prohibited WITH THE FOLLOWING EXCEPTION(S): • one or more specified religious, educational, or medical purposes"

4/8/2009 11:10:48 PM

So the next time you're about to be cited for public drunkenness can you just say "I'm trrryyyyyying to find GOD" and be off the hook?

4/8/2009 11:24:12 PM

i wish i had known about the seder.

eh, next year i guess.

4/8/2009 11:26:28 PM

^^Its not public though. A minor can drink inside under the supervision of his/her parents.

4/9/2009 12:53:39 AM

4 more nights without bread or grains...doing good so far.

4/11/2009 2:13:32 AM

I made a few jew jokes tonight. They were all in good fun though.

Jesus wasn't so lucky.

4/11/2009 2:15:02 AM

Quote :

"what were the circumstances between the Egyptians and the jews in which they overcame tough odds? like 100k Egyptian army versus 300 jews or something or what?"

THIS IS MAZAL TOV!

4/11/2009 2:19:27 AM