translation

"I feel like getting fat, so I'm going to give up on dating and settle."

Mr. Joshua sees through your talk.

4/14/2009 2:25:26 PM

translation

"i've dated around a lot, i know what i'm looking for, i'm not going to kid myself and say that 'this guy is good enough' and i'll stay single for awhile until i find someone that fits all the criteria i currently have in my mind."

4/14/2009 2:26:19 PM

"I can finally afford to let myself go"



-the 5 foot 2 180 pound receptionist from the office next door, after 2 dates with some guy she met online

4/14/2009 2:26:39 PM

women are dumb

4/14/2009 2:27:30 PM

translation

"I'm off the pill"

4/14/2009 2:27:31 PM

lol, these are gonna get more and more priceless

4/14/2009 2:28:40 PM

translation

"I just contracted the gift that keeps on giving"

4/14/2009 2:30:34 PM

Quote :

" "I feel like getting fat, so I'm going to give up on dating and settle.""

thats pretty much dead on. I worked with a girl who was a few years older than me and getting engaged. We asked her why she was marrying this cat and how she knew he was the one. Her answer was i've dated for a while and i'm tired of it.

4/14/2009 2:31:17 PM

"If I don't marry the next man I date, I'm going spelunking in Splittail Canyon"

4/14/2009 2:32:50 PM

there are two types of girls.

the types of girls who at 24 start panicking about how they aren't married and settled yet and then the ones who actually stay skinny a little longer

4/14/2009 2:36:43 PM

lol

4/14/2009 2:37:06 PM

"I've given up on my dreams and accepted the fact that I will work in retail/restaurants until I find a man to support me. I will continue to talk about my dreams while dating said man, then I will slowly adopt the stay-at-home wife routine."

4/14/2009 2:38:29 PM

yeah its like clockwork.

Almost all the girls I know from high school who have gotten married and popped out their first child have done that. saying things such as "the baby needs me right now but i'll go back to work in a few years." but when child two comes that is no longer an option and who is going to hire a 38 year old with no work experience to speak of.

a girl i used to work with at the easiest job i ever had complained one saturday during work that she couldn't wait until she was married because then she wouldnt have to work any more. uppity bitch.

[Edited on April 14, 2009 at 2:55 PM. Reason : psych]

4/14/2009 2:54:41 PM

^^ lol.



but seriously, women are different from men, and that's funny.




^ I wonder how many women have always wanted to be stay at home mom's but are just afraid of saying so publicly?

4/14/2009 3:02:31 PM

The Anti-Cougars.

4/14/2009 3:04:31 PM

The last three nights I have worked out. While working out, my wife has eaten

A) Hot and spicy chiccarones while on the computer
B) Flamin Cheetos
C) Chocolate Ice Cream
D) All of the above



They were my chiccarones too

4/14/2009 3:07:49 PM

Quote :

" I wonder how many women have always wanted to be stay at home mom's but are just afraid of saying so publicly? "

They aren't afraid to say it at Meredith

4/14/2009 3:10:03 PM

Quote :

"the types of girls who at 24 start panicking about how they aren't married and settled yet and then the ones who actually stay skinny a little longer "

this made me laugh a lot

4/14/2009 3:10:22 PM

^^^ Then they go to the gym for an hour, spend their time gossiping next to the treadmill, and wonder why they never lose weight.

Unless you're wife is pregnant, that is quite the different matter.

4/14/2009 3:11:57 PM

There's a strong correlation between noticing that your looks are starting fade and dropping the party girl routine to land a guy.

4/14/2009 3:12:21 PM

That shouldn't be happening at 24 though... I mean, come on.

4/14/2009 3:13:08 PM

i think once you have a couple of friends get married, you start feeling better and better about the fact that you aren't married.

or maybe that is just me. no offense, married people

4/14/2009 3:15:41 PM

I know a girl who never changes her relationship status on facebook. However, when she's tagged in a new picture and her arms or ass look a little bit fatter I send her a text asking who the new guy is.

So far its about a 95% success rate.

4/14/2009 3:15:43 PM

To be fair though to girls (and guys) who are working full time now. I have to really push myself after being at 8 hours of work all day and 4 at school at night to get the energy to get to the gym to work out. I've been bad recently and I'm a generally motivated person. I can imagine how it is hard for a genearlly unmotivated person to not balloon up as the free time decreases.

4/14/2009 3:21:08 PM

It's easy for me, all I do is go to the gym during my lunch hour and grab a deli sandwich on my way out. I work out 5/7 days a week and it's fairly easy to stay on schedule. My problem is dating, I don't like anyone, lol.

4/14/2009 3:24:55 PM

my problem is i NEED a schedule. but when every day is so different it is hard to find time. if i could go at the same time everyday that would be awesome. or even if 2 days a week had the same schedule. but nooo.

luckily my metabolism is still holding it down...for now. and the like one time every other week i manage to exercise. i really need to get better about going...not to lose weight, just to be healthy though.

4/14/2009 3:26:40 PM

Quote :

"I know a girl who never changes her relationship status on facebook. However, when she's tagged in a new picture and her arms or ass look a little bit fatter I send her a text asking who the new guy is. So far its about a 95% success rate."

so funny, yet unfortunately so true

4/14/2009 3:27:27 PM

Well not everyone has access to a gym they can use on their lunch breaks. I mean, if you have access to it, then yeah it is easy. But I have to make time. I do because I enjoy physical activity but some people really have to force themselves.

Of course anyone can not eat like a pig and they won't have to make much free time. I choose to eat like a pig and then work hard. It's a nice compromise

4/14/2009 3:27:40 PM

hahahah i like your approach. i also choose to eat like a pig. except i'm just waiting until it catches up with me to do anything about it. bad plan???

4/14/2009 3:28:53 PM

how long is your lunch hour Stimwalt? do you work next to a gym or something?

4/14/2009 3:29:39 PM

^
I have an hour break for lunch, but we can take long lunches if we want. Usually I work out for 30 - 40 minutes. The gym is less than 1 minute away from my work. It's called Healthtrax, near Six Forks.

I've never been fat, but working an office job makes it a lot easier for that to happen. Plus, the company pays for the gym, so not using it is kinda stupid really. I eat like a pig on the weekend and burn it off during the week.

[Edited on April 14, 2009 at 3:33 PM. Reason : -]

4/14/2009 3:31:13 PM

i love this thread

4/14/2009 3:34:51 PM

So if I marry a girl it won't be an issue as long as I get her a gym membership?

4/14/2009 3:34:58 PM

nah man. like all girls have gym memberships. it is getting them to work out that is the hard part.

4/14/2009 3:36:44 PM

haha true!

4/14/2009 3:37:29 PM

That's some true shit.

VH1 reality shows trump gym plans 100% of the time.

4/14/2009 3:38:23 PM

i break up with women if they gain weight...and i warn them beforehand

4/14/2009 3:40:12 PM

Literally every guy that goes to my gym is there to work out, unless he is there for physical therapy or something else. However, for women, it's just another gossip-fest with a gym uniform. To be fair, there are a few women that appreciate the grind, but not many.

4/14/2009 3:45:20 PM

this is why i just run on the track or swim when i go to the gym instead of going into the cardio room. i like to avoid talking at the gym.

4/14/2009 3:46:36 PM

Quote :

"The last three nights I have worked out. While working out, my wife has eaten A) Hot and spicy chiccarones while on the computer B) Flamin Cheetos C) Chocolate Ice Cream D) All of the above [quote] I feel you here. I've dated girls who snack on a bag of chips late night or get fries and other fried foods when we're out to dinner while i'm eating more consciously. Then they wonder why they're getting bigger and bigger. Self control, practice it. [quote]how long is your lunch hour Stimwalt? do you work next to a gym or something?"

i work 5 miles from a gym so it does make it easy. i go three times a week during lunch and swim. I'm there for about 40 minutes total.

Quote :

"nah man. like all girls have gym memberships. it is getting them to work out that is the hard part."

all too true. all. too. true.


also all this talk about gyms. there is a place called the outside where people can go and run. having a gym isn't the only way to do it. Joining a sports league for fun, such as soccer, is also not a bad way. there are plenty of ways to maintain.

[Edited on April 14, 2009 at 3:52 PM. Reason : d]

4/14/2009 3:51:20 PM

Quote :

"there are plenty of ways to maintain."

Girls need to stop saying shit like "You get dessert so I can have a bite" and then putting away an entire slice of cake that was sitting in front of you.

4/14/2009 3:55:52 PM

hahaha i never even knew stuff like that actually happened outside of romcoms.

seriously? has that happened to you? like on a date?

4/14/2009 3:57:29 PM

Get the woman a bicycle and make her use it.

I have 2 in my living room I need to finish putting together. The boyfriend has my other one.

4/14/2009 3:58:21 PM

Quote :

"seriously? has that happened to you? like on a date?"

on a date
No

once clearly in a relationship
plenty of times.

4/14/2009 3:59:16 PM

Not on dates. I went out with a girl a few years back and actually called her out because I noticed that she would only take a bite of dessert after I took a bite because she didn't want to look bad.

Girlfriends say that they don't really want dessert, then pressure you into ordering the one that they want so they can "have a bite", and then feel no shame when they wolf down the entire fucking thing.

4/14/2009 4:00:19 PM

The worst is when girls don't scale their clothes to their weight gain

A girl who looked great at 110 can still look good at 120

but not in the same pair of pants

4/14/2009 4:01:05 PM

Oh yeah, I had one bitch about being broke because she had to buy all new jeans.

Lose weight, save yourself some money. Its not hard.

4/14/2009 4:03:55 PM

i'm not into dessert because i'm always too full from the actual meal. i'm also not into sharing, so even if i did want some, i'd get my own

that is insane. i wonder if my friends do that. if only i could spy on them.

^^ well the difference between 110 and 120 isn't even THAT phenomenal (on most people). ^ and who would buy new $150 jeans if they gained weight? if i ever had to change clothe sizes, i would be like "OH maybe i should work out" i am glad i'm not a guy, these bitches is crazy.



[Edited on April 14, 2009 at 4:05 PM. Reason : .]

4/14/2009 4:04:20 PM

Or buy $20 jeans.

Now most of mine are too big and I need to buy some belts, guess having the shits for almost a month isn't all bad.

4/14/2009 4:09:28 PM

Quote :

"hahahah i like your approach. i also choose to eat like a pig. except i'm just waiting until it catches up with me to do anything about it. bad plan??? "

i'm on the same plan. I hate working out, but i enjoy physical activity. Honestly I think I hate the gym. People always say "it's impossible to work out by yourself", but i'm pretty confident that if I had a bench at my house I would use it...nightly.

4/14/2009 4:32:40 PM