does anyone else turn down the radio so they can rate them?

4/20/2009 1:32:09 PM

if you have to turn down the radio, it's not worth rating

4/20/2009 1:33:24 PM

I turn up the radio and try to time them to the bass line

4/20/2009 1:33:26 PM

no. but some times* if i'm at a bar and in a long line for the bathroom i'll let out a really silent but nasty one if there is a hot chick either in front or behind me and then look at her in disgust when the smell hits the air, as if she did it.

typically they look mortified.







*i did this only for a two week period and about three times total, but it was still a blast.

4/20/2009 1:34:49 PM

ahahaha 10/10

4/20/2009 1:36:52 PM

i ate a bunch of really greasy pickle chips the other night and then was amazed that my farts smelled like lobster and butter.

then a little bit of poo came out and that ended my fun in the car pretty quick.

4/20/2009 1:37:57 PM

I hate it when a little shit comes out but you don't realize it and go about your business

Then that night when you're disrobing you see that the rouge turd has melted and created a camo pattern on both of your thighs and the small of your back

4/20/2009 1:39:49 PM

lol wtf

4/20/2009 1:41:51 PM

I shit downstairs as soon as I got home and noticed the brown spot in the boxers while doing so. The tricky part was doing the turtle walk up the stairs to get to my clean clothes while my dog was trying to jam his nose in my ass.

4/20/2009 1:44:05 PM

I call the the Cactus Jake walk

4/20/2009 1:45:17 PM

Those are the only moments in life when I sag my drawers.

4/20/2009 1:45:58 PM

ever actually sneaked out a solid turd, not just a moist jettison?

like a butterfinger bb sized nugget that rolls down your pantleg and settles in your sock

ok if your wearing pants, but the cats meow if you're wearing shorts

4/20/2009 1:48:01 PM

this thread went from funny to disgusting in less than 10 posts. WTG, guys.

4/20/2009 1:49:35 PM

what kind of socks do you wear that allow ANYthing to get into them?

or do you rock the pants-tucked-inside-the-sock

[Edited on April 20, 2009 at 1:50 PM. Reason : fixed plural error]

4/20/2009 1:50:03 PM

The worst is when you are sitting in such a position that the fart comes out the front and proceeds to punch you in the face....

4/20/2009 1:51:04 PM

my socks are a little lose on my calves no small objects can get inside them

i don't like that tight circulation cutting sock feeling

4/20/2009 1:51:28 PM

i used to have a seat cover that had a fan at the bottom that took in air and blew it out all over the seat cover (very useful in the summer for cooling down)

if you farted, it was like an amplifier

4/20/2009 1:52:29 PM

i hate when you think you can squeeze one out because you need to and instead of being discrete its abnormally loud. i call those karma farts. obviously i had done something to deserve the awkwardness of the situation that had been presented.

4/20/2009 1:53:20 PM

I remember doing one of those in high school math class. I felt it coming and leaned forward, tilted to the side and ended up swinging one of my feet behind my chair to stabilize thinking that it would be rather quiet.

It ended up being really loud because of the metal chair and when everyone turned to look I was in this really awkward position and had no possible excuse.

4/20/2009 1:58:19 PM

lol im trying to picture that and can only give it a name of the Kawasaki maneuver

4/20/2009 1:59:55 PM

Quote :

"no. but some times* if i'm at a bar and in a long line for the bathroom i'll let out a really silent but nasty one if there is a hot chick either in front or behind me and then look at her in disgust when the smell hits the air, as if she did it. typically they look mortified. "

why were you in line for the women's bathroom?

4/20/2009 2:10:32 PM

ur name is like goatse.cx

4/20/2009 2:11:22 PM

^^ there is one hall way. girls bathroom was to the left and boys was immediately adjacent to that, as such there was only one line.

4/20/2009 2:12:16 PM

lol @ Mr. Joshua' s Kawasaki maneuver

4/20/2009 2:17:59 PM

^^^yes i am aware of the goatse/gtcastee resemblance

Quote :

"thank you ted, that was the joke"

^^ah

4/20/2009 2:20:48 PM

lol @ camo pattern

4/20/2009 2:25:07 PM

On the Saturday before St Patty's Day this year I was sitting in a bar and saw a really cute blonde across the way. A moment later we made eye contact and she smiled at me. Sadly, I chose that second to squeeze a fart out and it felt like a wet one.

So, she smiled at me, and I gave her an "oops, i crapped my pants" face.

4/20/2009 2:44:15 PM

SHART

4/20/2009 3:13:20 PM

you people fail at life until you have farted/sweated in a pair of airtight tyvek coveralls crawling around in a precipitator all day after eating mexican and manage to run a bunch of the most hardcore manly boilermakers out of the room when you unzip them

[Edited on April 20, 2009 at 4:33 PM. Reason : i shall name this the genie in a bottle]

4/20/2009 4:29:50 PM

I really like cutting silent farts in cars and waiting for people to smell them

and then the driver puts all the windows down

ga, that shit never gets old

4/20/2009 4:34:23 PM

it's better when you are the driver and you are able to lock the windows

4/20/2009 4:36:06 PM

unless you are the driver, and have that magic child-lock window switch at your disposal

[Edited on April 20, 2009 at 4:37 PM. Reason : ^ beat me to it asshole]

4/20/2009 4:36:46 PM

then when everyone is gasping for air, you sit there with an ear to ear smile, basking in the ambience

4/20/2009 4:37:59 PM

one of my favorites is the fadeaway fart when you are being dropped off

perfectly executed when you let it rip just as you are about to plant your foot on the ground and you shut the door immediately

4/20/2009 4:43:17 PM

nice

I use a modified version of that when I'm leaving someones office

4/20/2009 4:48:37 PM

i think i did it to you once at U-Woods, i step out after you and Shivan Bird and i go eat at KFC Buffet, and since i am the shotgun czar, my rectal direction allowed for perfect dispersion between the 2 of you

[Edited on April 20, 2009 at 4:50 PM. Reason : ]

4/20/2009 4:50:25 PM

He probably absorbed most of it with his own Cretaceous funk

I didn't even notice

and i cant remember was that buffet good or shitty

4/20/2009 4:52:51 PM

you had one of those mailbox coupons...it was alright but i remember you refused to try the sweet potatoes

4/20/2009 4:53:53 PM

i would try those they looked like doodoo

brian ate very little for a huge fattass

4/20/2009 4:57:47 PM

I always liked farting in the ice buckets in hotel rooms, quickly putting the lid on it, and then handing it off to someone and telling them to look inside.

4/20/2009 4:58:17 PM

i wonder what the world record is for the longest fart

4/20/2009 5:44:24 PM

i dont think we'll ever know, unless they work at the Guinness Book of World Records office

it's not something that can be done on demand, but if it were, then God help us

4/20/2009 5:50:06 PM

lightin farts on fire is fun but it makes your pants hot and then your ass sweats and then if you have to fart again you shart a little.



totally worth it though

4/20/2009 6:19:00 PM

lighting farts on fire is a skill that not many people have, but it is instant party fun times

4/20/2009 7:16:40 PM

my mother and i used to travel a lot and it got to the point where i wouldn't even say anything, just roll down the window... and she'd be like oh my god again????

4/20/2009 7:39:43 PM

Quote :

"Then that night when you're disrobing you see that the rouge turd has melted and created a camo pattern on both of your thighs and the small of your back"

That's fucking disgusting you slave

And WHY THE FUCK do you have RED SHITS???

4/20/2009 7:45:26 PM

this thread disgusts me and cracks me up at the same time
you people

4/20/2009 7:52:01 PM

4/20/2009 8:05:04 PM

haha

me and a friend were on a ferry crossing the Irish Sea. We had a fart spray gag gift (which just stunk, didn't smell like a fart at all) and we were spraying it when we went in the elevator, then we would stand at a distance and wait for people to get off of it

this one old guy in a suit looked like his day had been ruined

4/20/2009 8:07:45 PM

set em up

4/20/2009 8:08:16 PM