I'm playing some stupid diablo wanna be game on my phone and the english translation only lasts for so long. What does this say?

4/26/2009 11:23:29 PM

I can read it phonetically, but I have no idea what it means.

4/26/2009 11:25:48 PM

You suck at this game.

Give up now. You are 0/1 and have 0/5 credits remaining

[Edited on April 26, 2009 at 11:26 PM. Reason : fuck you. i wasted my 14,000 post in here]

4/26/2009 11:25:58 PM

? AD 2101?
War has begun.
Captain: What was that?
Engineer: Someone has planted a bomb in the ship!
Communication operator: Captain! Receiving transmission!
Captain: What?!
Communication operator: Visual incoming on the main screen.
Captain: Y...You!
CATS: (You) Look busy, gentlemen.
CATS: Assisted by the Federation Government forces, CATS has taken all of your bases.
CATS: Your ship is about to meet its doom as well.
Captain: What did you say ?!
CATS: We are thankful for your cooperation.
CATS: Cherish these few remaining moments of your lives.
CATS: Ha ha ha ha ha...
Communication operator: Captain....
Captain: (I) Order launching all ZIG units!
Captain: We have no choice but to entrust this to them....
Captain: The hope of our future...
Captain: (We're) Counting on you, ZIG!

[Edited on April 26, 2009 at 11:26 PM. Reason : ]

4/26/2009 11:26:11 PM

tww you failed me

4/26/2009 11:30:40 PM

translation:

can you tell me where to find the best friend chicken

no

u mad?

4/26/2009 11:36:05 PM

Translation:

Warning number II

It is not permitted to offer real fellatio for in game items. Your remaining warnings 0/1

This has been your second offense. Your user rating is now 0/5

[Edited on April 26, 2009 at 11:58 PM. Reason : -]

4/26/2009 11:56:45 PM

lemon curry

4/26/2009 11:58:13 PM

Translation:

In Soviet Russia, game plays YOU!

4/27/2009 12:20:51 AM

it says:

Do you think that I forgot about YOU ???
YOU DO NOT YET KNOW RUSSIANS.

I wanted to sell a diamond 33 carats on EBAY, BUT YOU
to ME SPOILED EVERYTHING.

I saw that you on a forum with the friends discussed
me and offended me and humiliated.

And I will tell you about itself: I have in Russia
drugs and diamonds business.

I do not love, when cheat ME and offend.
I wait the apologies from you.

As the apology I like to hear excusing words and to
have a money sum.

For example, from you I am glad will be to get
150,000.00 $ usd in my BANK ACCOUNT as the apology
for your words and acts humiliated.

HENCEFORTH FOR YOU IT WILL be the LESSON.

I do not like long to wait your apologies. I give you
1 week is a maximum.
I have now a rest in SOCHI. See my photo (1 on the
left).

If you in current of week will not send me an apology
and money, I think, your torn off head will hang on my
fence.
You and your the family will put to death cruelly.

Aleksander

4/27/2009 12:26:06 AM

^holy FUCK. you, sir, have won TWW for tonight.

[Edited on April 27, 2009 at 12:48 AM. Reason : 10/10 use of ebay lulz]

4/27/2009 12:48:13 AM