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 Message Boards » » then a duck fucks you. Page [1]  
JK
All American
6839 Posts
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it's kinda like the robe and wizard hat

Quote :
"
evrclrr83: hey, age/sex/pic?
ToolMySweetAss: Read my fucking profile before you bother me, you stupid
cocksucker.
evrclrr83: sorry i didnt know
evrclrr83: damn
ToolMySweetAss: Tell me, how old are you?
evrclrr83: 18
ToolMySweetAss: Really? Your profile says you wrestle.
evrclrr83: yeah
ToolMySweetAss: That is sooooooo hot!
ToolMySweetAss: Just the thought of two guys wrestling makes my pussy
sauce up like a Chilito.
ToolMySweetAss: Are you real good?
evrclrr83: yeah
ToolMySweetAss: Wow. You don't, by any chance, like to cyber do you?
evrclrr83: yep
ToolMySweetAss: You don’t say much, do you?
ToolMySweetAss: I'd like to cyber but you seem like a mute.
evrclrr83: im not... sorry babe
evrclrr83: i had 2 go get something
evrclrr83: but im back
ToolMySweetAss: So what are you into?
ToolMySweetAss: Other than wearing tights and groping other men?
ToolMySweetAss: (mmmmmm)
evrclrr83: i do just about anything baby
evrclrr83: what are u into?
ToolMySweetAss: I do it all.
ToolMySweetAss: Oral
ToolMySweetAss: Anal
ToolMySweetAss: Candle wax
ToolMySweetAss: Haiku
evrclrr83: anything else?
ToolMySweetAss: Carpet-Doggin’
ToolMySweetAss: Hell’s Bells
ToolMySweetAss: Fecal Doldrums
evrclrr83: u ever role play?
ToolMySweetAss: And how!
ToolMySweetAss: That’s my favorite!
evrclrr83: really? what are your favorite scenarios?
ToolMySweetAss: Let’s do wrestling!
evrclrr83: hmmm… how so
ToolMySweetAss: So let’s say I am the first girl to make the wrestling team.
evrclrr83: ok... sounds good
ToolMySweetAss: And you don’t like it one bit!
evrclrr83: hm... whys that?
ToolMySweetAss: Because you are a chauvinist, or at least that’s how you
make out to be.
evrclrr83: ok... i understand
ToolMySweetAss: Really, you got into wrestling so you could finally wrap
your arms around the taut, sweating buttocks of your mouth-watering peers
without looking like a homo… and I am ruining that for you.
ToolMySweetAss: So you want revenge.
evrclrr83: so what does this new female wrestler look like?
ToolMySweetAss: I look like Dolemite in a leotard.
evrclrr83: who?
ToolMySweetAss: Never mind. Let’s wrestle!
evrclrr83: ok.... babe... ur gonna get it...
ToolMySweetAss: Try me!
evrclrr83: i come up 2 u and grab your arms pullin u towards me
ToolMySweetAss: I grab you by the eggbag and twist. You yelp like a dog
under a car tire. The ref calls foul.
ToolMySweetAss: I apologize.
evrclrr83: i go over 2 the corner for a sec to get things straight
evrclrr83: i come back over 2 u
ToolMySweetAss: Your cock is beginning to bulge in your spandex
garment.
ToolMySweetAss: All the other wrestlers are jealous.
evrclrr83: i cant help but be attracted 2 u
evrclrr83: i lunge for u again
ToolMySweetAss: And that is your weakness!
evrclrr83: im determined 2 beat u
ToolMySweetAss: I see you staring at my sweet package and poke you in
the eyes!
ToolMySweetAss: You fall down crying.
evrclrr83: i cover them
evrclrr83: not knowing what 2 do
ToolMySweetAss: The ref threatens to disqualify me.
ToolMySweetAss: I tell him to lean in so that I can whisper in his ear.
evrclrr83: ?
ToolMySweetAss: He does and I grab his throat and crush his larynx.
ToolMySweetAss: He falls in a pile.
evrclrr83: ?
ToolMySweetAss: You shit your pants as you realize this is now a death
match.
ToolMySweetAss: On, your feet, homo.
evrclrr83: uhm... sorry... but could we change role playin’... I’m not really
getting anything from this
evrclrr83: and im not really gay
ToolMySweetAss: I kick your knee in and you buckle like a fat lady on
narrow stairs.
evrclrr83: sorry... but im not really into all this violence
ToolMySweetAss: You weep and call for a parent or guardian.
ToolMySweetAss: Nobody comes.
ToolMySweetAss: Huh?
ToolMySweetAss: Not into violence?
ToolMySweetAss: But you're a wrestler?
evrclrr83: yeah... during role playin
evrclrr83: i know
ToolMySweetAss: Ok.
ToolMySweetAss: Then you make something up.
evrclrr83: im violent when i wrestle... not when im with a chick
evrclrr83: what other role playin situations have u done?
ToolMySweetAss: Ok, Creampuff, you call the shots.
ToolMySweetAss: No, it’s your turn.
ToolMySweetAss: I don’t want to look like the asshole again.
evrclrr83: ok... well first off is there something that u absolutely wont do?
ToolMySweetAss: Nothing.I once let a monkey shit in my mouth for a
Polaroid to win 25 skeeball tickets. I will do anything.
evrclrr83: woah... ok... i dont think we need 2 do that
ToolMySweetAss: Like you have a monkey.
evrclrr83: how about u be a nurse
ToolMySweetAss: Ok I'm a nurse.
evrclrr83: ok, well im the patient... and i come in for a checkup
ToolMySweetAss: Go ahead.
ToolMySweetAss: Oh, Mr. Jones, I see here you have an awful case of the
Creepy Gotchas.
ToolMySweetAss: You will need to take off your pants.
evrclrr83: really?
ToolMySweetAss: Yes. Really.
evrclrr83: whatever you say nurse
evrclrr83: you know best
evrclrr83: they’re off
ToolMySweetAss: Now I am going to need to take your temperature.
evrclrr83: ok nurse
ToolMySweetAss: You know how we do that for the Creepy Gotchas?
evrclrr83: how?
ToolMySweetAss: First I am going to need you to get your cock as hard as
possible.
ToolMySweetAss: Let me bend over so you can see my freshly shaved
parts.
evrclrr83: ok nurse...
ToolMySweetAss: Does that make you hard?
evrclrr83: mmmm... i enjoy the view
evrclrr83: starting 2
ToolMySweetAss: I stick two fingers in myself to make sure you are as hard
as you can be.
evrclrr83: mmm... almost there, nurse
ToolMySweetAss: I suck one of your balls into my mouth. You are as rigid
as a Nazi parading in a Leni Riefenstahl movie.
evrclrr83: mmm... yes
ToolMySweetAss: Now we must take your temperature.
evrclrr83: ok nurse
ToolMySweetAss: I take the thermometer and put in my mouth so it’s all
lubed up.
ToolMySweetAss: I take your cock in my left hand, kind of like I was killing a
turkey, and jam the thermometer down the head til you feel it touch your
pelvic bone.
ToolMySweetAss: You jump like a retard who sat down in a campfire.
evrclrr83: woah.....
evrclrr83: damn
ToolMySweetAss: You weep like a baby, but Doctor knows what’s best.
evrclrr83: i ask if the nurse could hurry it up…
ToolMySweetAss: "Shut your whine-hole, faggy," I say...
ToolMySweetAss: I try to pull it out but it’s stuck.
evrclrr83: yes nurse
evrclrr83: ow
ToolMySweetAss: Only one thing to do now!
evrclrr83: ?
ToolMySweetAss: I grab a tack hammer and smash your cock flat, crushing
the glass thermometer inside your gutted member.
ToolMySweetAss: You will have to pee out the glass chunks.
ToolMySweetAss: (This would be a good time for you to pee on me)
evrclrr83: uhm... what the heck is it with u and violence? and pissing?
ToolMySweetAss: That’s not *violent.* It’s *medical.*
evrclrr83: i just wanted normal cyber sex
ToolMySweetAss: And it was your fantasy.
evrclrr83: i know... but the chicks dont shove a thermometer up my duck
then hit it with a hammer
ToolMySweetAss: Your duck?
evrclrr83: dick
ToolMySweetAss: Oh, we can do that, too, if you want.
evrclrr83: no thanks
ToolMySweetAss: We're in the barnyard feeding ducks.
evrclrr83: .........
evrclrr83: i r think so
ToolMySweetAss: You run out of bread but they're still hungry.
ToolMySweetAss: I take off my top and show you my tits.
Previous message was not received by evrclrr83:
User evrclrr83 is not available.
ToolMySweetAss: Then a duck fucks you."

4/27/2009 3:42:18 AM

not dnl
Suspended
13193 Posts
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summary...i got to the chilito part

[Edited on April 27, 2009 at 3:53 AM. Reason : .]

4/27/2009 3:52:48 AM

Bweez
All American
10849 Posts
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HfDJ729ytM

4/27/2009 4:50:55 AM

LimpyNuts
All American
16860 Posts
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^

4/27/2009 5:17:04 AM

paerabol
All American
17118 Posts
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ahahaha worth the read


Quote :
"You jump like a retard who sat down in a campfire."


had me rollin


and of course the last line

4/27/2009 6:04:50 AM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
35386 Posts
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hahahaha

4/27/2009 6:52:08 AM

gtcastee
Veteran
124 Posts
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LAWLZ at fecal doldrums and skeeball monkey

4/27/2009 8:07:45 AM

kiljadn
All American
44701 Posts
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10/10 will read again

4/27/2009 8:49:30 AM

ScHpEnXeL
Suspended
32613 Posts
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Quote :
"10/10 will read again

"

4/27/2009 8:54:34 AM

crazywolf96
All American
1001 Posts
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i laughed so hard i'm crying. that was funny.

Quote :
"ToolMySweetAss: I grab a tack hammer and smash your cock flat, crushing
the glass thermometer inside your gutted member."




[Edited on April 27, 2009 at 8:58 AM. Reason : .]

4/27/2009 8:57:18 AM

grimx
#maketwwgreatagain
32337 Posts
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that seemed to try way too hard

4/27/2009 8:59:49 AM

puppy
All American
8888 Posts
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robe and wizard hat was better.

4/27/2009 10:17:48 AM

wwwebsurfer
All American
10217 Posts
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Quote :
"I once let a monkey shit in my mouth for a
Polaroid to win 25 skeeball tickets. I will do anything."


R&WH was much wittier, but this is still comical. It's like a 22 year old college student owning a 15 year old kid wanting to cyber.

4/27/2009 10:27:06 AM

nicklepickle
All American
11693 Posts
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lol

4/27/2009 10:36:34 AM

Distilled
Starting Lineup
95 Posts
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Quote :
"ToolMySweetAss: The ref threatens to disqualify me.
ToolMySweetAss: I tell him to lean in so that I can whisper in his ear.
evrclrr83: ?
ToolMySweetAss: He does and I grab his throat and crush his larynx.
ToolMySweetAss: He falls in a pile.
evrclrr83: ?
ToolMySweetAss: You shit your pants as you realize this is now a death
match.
ToolMySweetAss: On, your feet, homo.
evrclrr83: uhm... sorry... but could we change role playin’... I’m not really
getting anything from this
"


Pure confusion...

4/27/2009 10:53:44 AM

grimx
#maketwwgreatagain
32337 Posts
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It's like a 22 year old college student [who's read R&WH and trying to put all of his work to use in one go] owning a 15 year old kid wanting to cyber.

4/27/2009 10:56:57 AM

vonjordan3
AIR
43669 Posts
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i didnt think it was funny


really

4/27/2009 3:05:03 PM

Big Business
Suspended
9099 Posts
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Quote :
"ToolMySweetAss: I suck one of your balls into my mouth. You are as rigid
as a Nazi parading in a Leni Riefenstahl movie."


I'm Big Business and i approved this message.

4/27/2009 3:34:12 PM

cddweller
All American
20699 Posts
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Would have been awesome if it was real.

4/27/2009 4:10:38 PM

Paul1984
All American
2855 Posts
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This kid would have to be dim as hell to not pick up the mannish tone here. But then maybe hes just that desperate.

4/27/2009 6:12:35 PM

wwwebsurfer
All American
10217 Posts
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^I would bank 90% of the people on there are male posing as both sexes.

4/27/2009 6:21:59 PM

twoozles
All American
20735 Posts
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i read the whole thing
it was funny

4/27/2009 7:08:10 PM

JK
All American
6839 Posts
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I just got such a kick out of the "fecal doldrums" thing, I posted it first and read it after, haha

4/28/2009 12:52:15 AM

GroundBeef
Suspended
6518 Posts
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what is a fecal doldrum

4/28/2009 12:56:27 AM

BIGcementpon
Status Name
11323 Posts
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That quacks me up

4/28/2009 1:02:16 AM

paerabol
All American
17118 Posts
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i hate you

4/28/2009 1:05:23 AM

BIGcementpon
Status Name
11323 Posts
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ha, someone had to say it.

[Edited on April 28, 2009 at 1:13 AM. Reason : PALINDROME!!! 3993]

4/28/2009 1:12:43 AM

GroundBeef
Suspended
6518 Posts
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doldrum

makes no sense

4/28/2009 1:14:07 AM

BIGcementpon
Status Name
11323 Posts
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I think it must be like constipation.

4/28/2009 1:15:28 AM

Supplanter
supple anteater
21831 Posts
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Pat Robinson compared gay marriage to sex with ducks.

5/30/2009 3:56:23 PM

GrumpyGOP
yovo yovo bonsoir
18232 Posts
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I keep trying to type "fecal doldrums" but every time I do I double over laughing. The only way I'm able to type this sentence is by covering the word with my hand.

5/30/2009 4:15:07 PM

humandrive
All American
18286 Posts
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how has this not been posted?

5/30/2009 5:12:13 PM

JTMONEYNCSU
All American
24530 Posts
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lol

5/30/2009 5:19:28 PM

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