I was a freshman in college before I was ever in a position to regularly spend the night with a girlfriend. Sure it was nice to spend the night curled up with a young lady, but one of the greatest parts (aside from the freshman sex, which in hindsight was pretty tame and unremarkable) was the following morning.

As a young man, I generally farted whenever I felt the need. However, spending the night added a whole new challenge. I was a bit too polite to dump out at a girlfriend's house as well as afraid that the stink would waft into the rest of the house, this went as far as holding my farts in for the duration of my stay.

I just remember in the morning rushing through the whole "I'll call you soon" discussion and running out the door to my lovely 89 camaro. I'd hop in the car and let out the 12 hours worth of stink, and then drive home basting in my own foulness. The smell and the sound was really much more than I had normally produced at that point in my life and it was really a proud moment every time.

5/19/2009 1:24:18 AM

Mr. Jopocalypse

[Edited on May 19, 2009 at 1:27 AM. Reason : w]

5/19/2009 1:26:47 AM

5/19/2009 1:27:06 AM

lol not how i thought this thread would have gone.

5/19/2009 1:28:46 AM

Now whenever I have to hold an uncomfortable fart for a long time I think of pre-9/11 romance.

5/19/2009 1:29:04 AM

was such a simpler time

5/19/2009 1:32:50 AM

You can fart at my place

5/19/2009 1:33:40 AM

5/19/2009 1:35:23 AM

5/19/2009 1:35:41 AM

^you too

5/19/2009 1:36:52 AM

i haven't seen divababy in a while

[Edited on May 19, 2009 at 1:38 AM. Reason : where you been]

5/19/2009 1:38:01 AM

5/19/2009 1:40:37 AM

The relief you get when releasing 6+ hours of intestinal gas is rivaled by no other. I can remember leaving the young ladies' residence only to blast off with the natural jet pack and feeling as if I was weightless

5/19/2009 1:46:33 AM

Oh hi. Not to derail the thread but to answer BigEgo...I got laid off so I have spent a lot of time getting my volunteer on and a lot of time masterbating on my sofa. Haha

Just been laying low since I usually post at work, and now I have no work.

5/19/2009 1:48:13 AM

Quote :

"Mr. Jopocalypse"

bahaha....

[Edited on May 19, 2009 at 1:59 AM. Reason : i like reading other people's stories. my stories bore me]

5/19/2009 1:58:46 AM

5/19/2009 3:55:42 AM

I, too, remember those times. Now I just blast girls whenever and where ever I feel like it and when I'm in the car I lock the windows to let them completely savour the nose of my amazing smells.

[Edited on May 19, 2009 at 10:28 AM. Reason : clarification]

5/19/2009 10:28:36 AM

ohhh man... you guys and your farts... good thing girls don't fart...






















They poot

5/19/2009 11:05:37 AM

haha i've done this

5/19/2009 11:28:04 AM

the trick is to let it out slowly and silently

then ignore the smell

5/19/2009 11:40:38 AM

this is pretty far from what i was expecting to read.

5/19/2009 11:44:36 AM

first date = two people desperately trying to hold in their farts

5/19/2009 11:52:31 AM

when i read the thread title i thougrht the motherfucker slept with an 18 year old last night

5/19/2009 11:55:00 AM

oh but he did

5/19/2009 11:55:45 AM

i know i totally did

5/19/2009 11:58:43 AM

5/19/2009 12:01:37 PM

it was hot. no lie.

5/19/2009 12:03:10 PM

I bet it was.

5/19/2009 12:04:58 PM

Quote :

"masterbating"

unemployed and semiliterate?

haaaaaaay

5/19/2009 3:11:45 PM

Quote :

"unemployed and semiliterate?"

check out myspace if that's your thing

5/19/2009 3:14:29 PM

i didnt see that coming. but i was the same way. driving home blasting farts that normally would fucking stink up the car. those were go times. would like to experence again

5/19/2009 3:17:38 PM

fart

5/19/2009 3:51:06 PM

my parents let my girlfriend in high school spend the night, id probably do the same thing with my kid

5/19/2009 3:53:30 PM

Quote :

"(aside from the freshman sex, which in hindsight was pretty tame and unremarkable)"

normally. but one girl, i mean, damn. i also got bjs every morning right before we'd go to the dining hall. oh well when you have something that good you don't realize or appreciate it.

5/19/2009 4:06:28 PM

oh man ive ejaculated all over tucker hall

5/19/2009 4:07:29 PM

Quote :

"but one girl, i mean, damn. i also got bjs every morning right before we'd go to the dining hall."

Oh yeah, there were those. Also at 18 or 19 you really don't appreciate the fact that girls can be incredibly lean and still have great racks. I don't see that as often at 27.

5/19/2009 4:14:35 PM

^^ floor 7 at met calf here

5/19/2009 4:17:11 PM

owen 102
tucker hall 163

[Edited on May 19, 2009 at 4:19 PM. Reason : YOU KNOW]

5/19/2009 4:18:57 PM

^3 women are at their prime at that age in a lot of ways. that same girl who gave the bjs before brunch always did my laundry, and paid for it, and ran 5 miles everyday.

being a freshman in school i thought that all girls operated this way and that even better awaited on the horizon. so i broke up with her because i wanted to hang with my friends more on the weekends and have slowly understood the error of my ways each year since then.

i always secretly hope that shes gotten fat, ugly and made nothing of herself. sadly facebook depicts the exact opposite.

[Edited on May 19, 2009 at 4:20 PM. Reason : ^3]

5/19/2009 4:19:48 PM

best part is i never lived in the dorms!!1

5/19/2009 4:19:48 PM

I don't know which I miss more, dating sluts before they realized that they're sluts, or driving an 89 Camaro.

5/19/2009 8:24:13 PM

hahah sounds like a "dirty" Jeff Foxworthy joke..

5/19/2009 8:26:46 PM

now that im single i totally want to go back to my younger days and bwn an 18 year old

5/19/2009 8:32:32 PM

i just want to go to prom and bwn 18yr olds

5/19/2009 8:35:48 PM

^ I want to watch

5/19/2009 8:36:43 PM

Once you fart a million times in your work chair, it will start smelling like a fart...that is when you switch chairs with someone in the office and start all over again.....



[Edited on May 19, 2009 at 8:40 PM. Reason : w]

5/19/2009 8:38:13 PM

I'd rather not. I've finally gotten the ass divot in my chair to where I can slouch down and hang a little bit off butt off and it makes perfect trumpet noises every fart.

5/19/2009 10:20:17 PM

^^unless you get one where someone has done the same thing and then you just have their farts to smell.

5/20/2009 10:06:57 AM

haha, I once went 10 or 11 days without pooping. I was too embarrassed to do it in the same house as my boyfriend and his parents. We were on vacation at the beach.

5/20/2009 10:36:19 AM

hold em in!

5/20/2009 10:38:37 AM