I had a parent pass away last week and took time off work to go out of state. My co-workers were very kind and understanding about me taking the time (3 days). I have been with this company over 3 years and in the past we have taken up a contribution and/or sent flowers if it was local when a co-worker had a death. I got back yesterday and this morning was handed a card. Now my sisters employer raised $300 AND sent a $100 arrangement and my brothers work sent a plant. I have always contributed for others and am slightly offended at my co-workers actions for me...should I be?

5/28/2009 11:47:01 AM

wait, so you are offended that they gave you a gift?

5/28/2009 11:47:49 AM

I think he's offended because all he got was a card.

5/28/2009 11:49:19 AM

when was the last time somebody had a relative to die? maybe they just don't have the cash anymore. it's understandable i think. don't be a jerk and just be happy they thought of you.

5/28/2009 11:49:33 AM

im sorry you lost a parent but in today's world
its better not to expect anything from anybody and save yourself the let down.

5/28/2009 11:49:35 AM

no he's offended because it wasn't a big enough gift

5/28/2009 11:49:43 AM

wow

5/28/2009 11:50:39 AM

Quote :

"My co-workers were very kind "

all one can expect.

Sorry about your loss. Dont sweat the work stuff though.

5/28/2009 11:50:44 AM

I think he's offended because they didn't do as much as has been done in the past. I'm not going to comment because I don't have a flame suit.

Otherwise, I'm sorry for your loss.

5/28/2009 11:52:12 AM

When my grandmother died her doctor's office sent a badly photocopied generic condolence post card. They might as well not have sent anything... She went there for many, many years.

If your note was hand written I'd say thats about all you can ask.

5/28/2009 11:52:17 AM

I did not expect money...I always put some in when we send the "collection" around for others. They could have at least sent a damn plant. I got 2 plants sent to the funeral..from a former employer.

5/28/2009 11:52:20 AM

Quote :

"I did not expect money...I always put some in when we send the "collection" around for others. They could have at least sent a damn plant. I got 2 plants sent to the funeral..from a former employer."

sounds exactly like your op....

you didn't think you got enough and you're bitter/upset

stop looking to be offended or put out

5/28/2009 11:54:19 AM

sorry for your loss.


are they the same coworkers that have worked there in the past? if they're new, they might not be accustomed to the workings of your particular workplace.

5/28/2009 11:54:46 AM

do you really want a plant? seriously?? a plant will not fix or change anything about the situation.

i understand you're upset and all, but jeez. no you should not be offended. plants cost money too and maybe they just couldn't shell out the cash.

5/28/2009 11:58:12 AM

why the hell would they give you a monetary gift because one of your parents died?

[Edited on May 28, 2009 at 11:58 AM. Reason : is that normal?]

5/28/2009 11:58:19 AM

While its shitty they didnt care enough to send a plant, you cant force or expect mich of anything. Maybe not many people knew? maybe they dont know that custom yet? its hard to say. all you can really donis change how you interact with their future relative deaths

^help cover funeral costs

[Edited on May 28, 2009 at 12:00 PM. Reason : lkj]

5/28/2009 11:59:06 AM

sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in September

And my office just gave me a card, but I was a brand new employee and it is a very small office. I didn't expect anything. They did, however, all contribute to a fund we had set up in my Dad's honor to help our the church my Aunt is a pastor of.

Keep in mind the state of the economy, and maybe people just don't have as much to give as they have in the past.

5/28/2009 11:59:14 AM

no offense to you NCSoccer but I am offended that this happens at all. I think a card with co-workers signatures is the only thing that should have been offered. Why should people get money when their relatives pass? rhetorical

I suppose a flower arrangement at the funeral would have been nice, but these people are your co-workers not your pitty party.

[Edited on May 28, 2009 at 12:02 PM. Reason : q&a]

5/28/2009 12:01:11 PM

That sucks

Sorry for your loss though!

5/28/2009 12:02:21 PM

Quote :

"help cover funeral costs"

i have never heard of such shit, unless it was like a really really needy family.

5/28/2009 12:04:54 PM

I am truely sorry for your lots


I haven't had any coworkers with close deaths yet, but I would think it would be in poor taste to give them money

"Hey, your dad died ? That sucks ! Here's 50 dollars."

It would be like giving them a cake

5/28/2009 12:07:17 PM

Sorry for your loss

5/28/2009 12:07:42 PM

now that i think of it, some people give money as a donation in that persons name/honor to the church/hospital/home. thats what we've done with our latest family funerals

5/28/2009 12:12:10 PM

Thank You to all who have offered condolences

5/28/2009 12:13:17 PM

^^i've heard of that

[Edited on May 28, 2009 at 12:13 PM. Reason : nnn]

5/28/2009 12:13:21 PM

here's my story.

my cousin (who was 25) passed away in october 2007 after complications with a double lung transplant. she had cystic fibrosis.

anyways, my office has always passed around a card for everyone to sign when a close loved one passes. i got back to my office after the funeral and i didn't have a card.

when i finally got up the nerve to ask my boss about it, he said that my group (4 people) had pitched in and sent a plant and a card to the funeral home. i never saw it, it was never brought to my attention that it was sent. but it still made me mad that the whole office didn't sign a card and give it to me. it bothered me for awhile, made me feel like even after 4yrs of employment i wasn't important enough or i wasn't part of the group like everyone else was.

and now i'm over it.

5/28/2009 12:16:39 PM

Sorry that happened to you. Are people at least making you food and bringing it to your house. You can always expect someone to feed you for at least a week after a death.

5/28/2009 12:17:29 PM

i find that is only really prevalent in families that are members of a church

5/28/2009 12:18:29 PM