Okay, so my girlfriend moved in with her best friend (well call her "Landlord") 6 months ago who purchased a house. Small 2 BR + office (maybe 1600 sq ft). Agreement was to pay $450 + 1/2 the utilities which was high to me but my gf was living with the parents so it was worth getting out. My gf brought her cat. 2 months into the arrangement, the landlord got a golden retriever.

Few concerns after ~8 months of living there:

1) Landlord's boyfriend has moved in, semi-literally. Hes a cool dude but he does stay there 7 days a week, does laundry, shower, cooks separately, etc.

1.5) He has now brought his boat into the garage, moving my gf's parking spot to the curb. This was not discussed with my gf - she just came home and the boat was there where its been for 3 weeks. Supposedly it was only supposed to be there for 1 week but doesn't look that way.

2) Landlord's boyfriend also has brought his dog who stays outside mostly in the backyard. But the landlord has now moved the Golden into the office next to my gf's room so the dog keeps my gf up at night whining, barking, etc. The golden's crate was in the garage but with the boat, no room now. Never was the first dog discussed, nor the second dog living there, or the golden being moved out of the garage and being crated in the room next to my gf.

3) The Landlords bf also keeps the AC down to 68-69. They have ceiling fans running too and this place is ice cold but I understand everyone has their own temperature setting.

4) Landlord installed a security system which required a land line telephone. Landlord hands my gf the bill and wants her to pay 1/2 of the phone bill now which no one uses except if the boogy man breaks in. Installing a security system was never discussed with my gf.

SO my gf calls me all upset wanting to ask the her friend that shes only going to pay 1/3 of the utilities since he lives there and directly uses all of the utilities. She also feels that shes not getting her original $450 out of the place since they are now technically 3 people, 2 dogs, no parking space, dog keeps her up, etc. My gut is that this is standard roommate crap and that it technically is her friends house. They did sit down and talk about the whole "I live here so it would be nice to be considered in whats going on" but things have just stayed the same. I got the whole "your not on my side" thing and a really bad guilt trip hexed on me now. Someone tell me Im wrong.

[Edited on June 8, 2009 at 6:02 PM. Reason : .]

6/8/2009 5:55:31 PM

there's too many other options for her to keep sticking it out with assholes who don't discuss things with their roommates. tell her to leave.

[Edited on June 8, 2009 at 5:58 PM. Reason : yeah, you're wrong man. this shouldn't be accepted as "normal roomie bullshit"]

6/8/2009 5:58:06 PM

6/8/2009 5:58:46 PM

yea she needs to get out of there

too many examples of landlord not caring to at least talk about the new additions/conditions to the household

6/8/2009 5:59:41 PM

Quote :

"it technically is her friends house."

except that when you pay to live somewhere you live there and it's your place too

6/8/2009 6:01:31 PM

6/8/2009 6:02:01 PM

Quote :

"there's too many other options for her to keep sticking it out with assholes who don't discuss things with their roommates."

Im definitely feeling this way more now. I imagine asking to pay 1/3 of all the utilities isnt too far off the mark to start the conversation.

6/8/2009 6:07:21 PM

her roommate should have been considerate enough to discuss this stuff with her, you should be on her side

^yea, thats understandable, I can understand the rent staying the same cause if they boyfriend stays in the same room its basically the same thing....good luck with all this

[Edited on June 8, 2009 at 6:09 PM. Reason : .]

6/8/2009 6:08:31 PM

^^definitely

but why would you stick with folks who don't at least alert you that you're gonna have another bill coming when there's dozens of subleases in classifieds for cheap?

[Edited on June 8, 2009 at 6:09 PM. Reason : ;lkjfdsa]

6/8/2009 6:09:34 PM

^exactly, if they don't change quick, she should find a new place

6/8/2009 6:10:36 PM

If the deal changed, renegotiate the rent. If the landlord won't do it, bounce.

On the other hand, she's a girl, so she may not really want a solution to the problem. Maybe she really wants to bitch while you say sympathetic meaningless cliches.

6/8/2009 6:12:39 PM

I got somewhere she might could live for 250/mo

PM me. We don't have any loud animals or insane parties.

6/8/2009 6:16:00 PM

rockster is quite wise

6/8/2009 6:16:49 PM

1) that price is in no way high

2) Landlord is pulling some bullshit and needs to be called on it - it's the middle of the summer and apts are desperate to find tenants right now, so if things go tits up she can just move out

6/8/2009 6:17:21 PM

is this thread to talk about our own roomate woe

or just to comment on your sob story?

6/8/2009 6:23:11 PM

at the least, the utilities need to split in 1/3s (if not the rent too), and she needs her parking space back...which should hopefully take care of the dog situation.

but if she doesnt want to be there with 3 dogs and 2 other people, then she should move out. its just that simple. it's not standard roomate shit, its bullshit. (the dogs, phone line, extra roomate/packing space/dog).

Quote :

"1) that price is in no way high 2) Landlord is pulling some bullshit and needs to be called on it - it's the middle of the summer and apts are desperate to find tenants right now, so if things go tits up she can just move out "

all of this is true

6/8/2009 6:23:12 PM

:pic of joey from blossom saying WHOoa!:

6/8/2009 6:29:47 PM

Quote :

"Maybe she really wants to bitch while you say sympathetic meaningless cliches."

Amen. In which I didnt/dont do cliches. My point to her was she needs to take her emotion out of it and talk business to her LANDLORD, not her friend.

Quote :

"that price is in no way high"

The house is in a starter home neighborhood, outside of Augusta GA. In Raleigh/Charlotte $450 is a steal but not here. Its a nice neighborhood though.

6/8/2009 6:36:44 PM

ah

nevermind then

6/8/2009 6:40:52 PM

Women should never move in exclusively with other women who are already their friends.

[Edited on June 8, 2009 at 6:42 PM. Reason : ]

6/8/2009 6:42:34 PM

Quote :

"except that when you pay to live somewhere you live there and it's your place too"

if she doesn't own the house....it's not her house...

regardless of how much rent she's paying


i'll assure you there isn't a renter in the world that considers it "your place too" just because you're paying to live there....

6/8/2009 7:13:17 PM

^there's a contract, that the person renting and the owner agree to. I'm sure some of this shit violates it.

6/8/2009 7:14:58 PM

^was there an actual contract?, I didn't see it mentioned in the OP, cause if there isn't it really sucks

6/8/2009 7:18:42 PM

Quote :

"Women should never move in exclusively with other women who are already their friends."

Quickest way to end a friendship, right there.

6/8/2009 7:19:32 PM

Quote :

"i'll assure you there isn't a renter in the world that considers it "your place too" just because you're paying to live there"

all i'm saying is it's not like a renter has zero rights and has to bend over and take it

6/8/2009 7:29:49 PM

just have her ask to pay less, and if they say no then she can find another place. There's some 1 bedrooms for like $550 without the hassle and without as much utilities cost.

don't just sit there and take it. If this is the first place the roommate has owned then she probably thinks it doesn't matter what the living situation is like unless it's convenient to her.

6/8/2009 7:35:14 PM

Quote :

"2) Landlord is pulling some bullshit and needs to be called on it - it's the middle of the summer and apts are desperate to find tenants right now, so if things go tits up she can just move out"

VERY TRUE


Mmmmmm tits up

6/8/2009 7:51:34 PM

friend is taking advantage of the rental income. 1600 sq ft is small as shit for 3 adults, 2 dogs and a cat. Not to mention the parki g situation. Gtfo while she can, I only see this getting worse

6/8/2009 7:55:31 PM

Show her this thread maybe? All these tdubbers can't be wrong.

6/8/2009 8:21:56 PM

^thats actually a good idea

6/8/2009 9:40:31 PM

Quote :

"Women should never move in exclusively with other women who are already their friends."

Unless they aren't immature little bitches - I know girls who live together, were best friends, and are still best friends.

6/8/2009 9:43:55 PM

I hear way too many stories of friends charging friends normal or even above normal rent rates.

When I bought my place, I charged my best friend $300 + half utilities and gave him the 2nd and third bedroom since they were both a little on the small side. That's some whack shit to be profiting off your friends like that.

6/8/2009 9:50:28 PM

Quote :

"Mmmmmm tits up"

Gotta get my mind out of the gutter and you are not helping.

6/8/2009 9:54:49 PM

Quote :

"^was there an actual contract?,"

Girls definitely didn't think about a contract.

Thanks for all the replies. THe more I think about it the more hot headed I get about her being taken advantage of. Let's just hope this doesn't turn into a request to move in with me

6/9/2009 8:17:58 AM

The issue isn't that she's "being taken advantage of", it's that living conditions have changed. She didn't sign up for a dogs or the bf or the curb parking or the phone bill. She has the right to demand changes or leave.

6/9/2009 9:47:56 AM

Quote :

"Women should never move in exclusively with other women who are already their friends."

Quote :

"2) Landlord is pulling some bullshit and needs to be called on it - it's the middle of the summer and apts are desperate to find tenants right now, so if things go tits up she can just move out""

If they made no contract and her landlord/friend won't renegotiate the rent, peace out. It sounds like she's getting taken advantage of.

6/9/2009 9:53:57 AM

Quote :

"I hear way too many stories of friends charging friends normal or even above normal rent rates. "

Above normal would not be cool, but I see nothing at all wrong with charging a friend what is basically market rate. You don't want the flip side of your scenario, where an owner cuts a deal for their friend and then a few months on down the line feels resentful that he's not getting what he could for the room (even though it was his/her own decision). In business dealings with friends, in my experience the best policy is to try to be as fair as possible, and to be wary of "deals" because they can be a sore point in the future.

I agree with BigMan's point that, 'round here, 450 plus utilities would be a very good deal for a room plus common areas of a 1600sf detached house with garage. Maybe in your area that's not the case, but for that to be unfair, I would think the rent market would have to be *extremely* cheap. However, she should not take these unresolved changes lying down. She should NOT have to pay half the landline bill if she was not consulted on the security system. If the bf is there 24/7, she should only be responsible for 1/3 utilities. The dog is an annoyance, taken separately it might be a "deal with it" kind of thing, but with all these other issues, it gets consideration. As to a rent break--on the one hand, if she agreed to 450, then she agreed to 450, and if there's no contract she doesn't have a leg to stand on to get a rent break. However, considering she lost her garage space, and is now sharing the house with an extra person and extra dog, I think a rent break would be the fair thing to do (especially if the bf is really living there--does he have his own place that he just never stays at? Or is this his only residence? It does make a difference). If the landlord continues to be unreasonable, cut and run.

6/9/2009 10:25:55 AM

I charge my friends just a little below market rate so it saves them a little money. I do, however, feel like I should be fairly compensated for my inconvenience.

as for this thread;

1. there is a contract in place. verbal counts
2. landlord arbitrarily changed those terms.
3. your gf should either re-negotiate the rent or bounce.

6/9/2009 10:46:17 AM

I charge what I think is less than normal market rate for my friends. I bought a house that I could afford without any rental income. Friends need a place to stay, I enjoy their company, they help out with the bills a bit.

Anything that changes around here, I discuss with my roomie to make sure she is ok with it or wants to change anything about her agreement because of it.

6/9/2009 10:58:29 AM

Quote :

"I charge my friends just a little below market rate so it saves them a little money. I do, however, feel like I should be fairly compensated for my inconvenience."

exactly. its not as if the roommate moving in is just free money as there are a lot of things that have to be put up with which removes the freedom of it being your own place.

1. Does he have his own place or not? I'm not justifying his actions but there are plenty of times where guys (and girls) have the person they're dating stay at their place non-stop while that person still rents their own place. its a consequence of living with a roommate and if you don't want to deal with it then you move into your own place. the only* way i would imagine rent rates being altered would be if he didn't have his own place and he was an official roomate.

1.5 Your gf needs to tell her friend that is out of line and she has waited patiently for her to remedy the situation. If the gf refuses then a rent rate reduction can be justified because she would be losing a parking spot which was part of the domain for which she was paying.

2. The dog stays in the yard, so its not a BIG deal, but i feel your pain and that is over the top compared to the normal roommate scenario. As for the other dog the landlord really could have moved it any place at any time so where that dog stays is of no consequence.

3. A pain, but once again if you don't want to deal with it then live by yourself. .

4. Phone bills aren't that expensive and it sounds like to me that she isn't making her pay for half of the security system. your girlfriend benefits from the security system so paying the phone bill isn't out of line. its the same way that you benefit from your car insurance. you're not happy with it until you need it.

Instead of asking for 1/3 of all utilities I would ask to pay 400 monthly in rent. Its the same difference but the parking spot is what gives her the most weight in this situation and therefore makes the argument about the rent reduction more appealing to her friend than utilities. This could result in the boat being gone and the dog back in the garage, but at least those nuisances would be removed.

If there is no contract and her friend doesn't want to budge then her friend obviously cares more about money and stubbornness than about friendship. In which case your girlfriend should just move out and move on because their friendship is done anyway

6/9/2009 11:17:06 AM

Quote :

"I can understand the rent staying the same cause if they boyfriend stays in the same room its basically the same thing"

I disagree. That's one more person taking up space int he kitchen and living room when you want to use them. I would divide it by total square footage (she pays for her bedroom and they pay for theirs but she should only have to pay 1/3 of what's left).

Women PEOPLE should never move in exclusively with other women PEOPLE who are already their friends.

[Edited on June 9, 2009 at 11:34 AM. Reason : -]

6/9/2009 11:31:01 AM

Sucks bro, I've been living with random roommates the past 4 years here (not including any college/high school roommates) so I feel for ya


The biggest thing here is she can always move out. When things start to deteriorate like that and you are good friends with the person, it's hard to make the move I know but really its for the best. She can leave and salvage most of her friendships.

I've continued to live with friends even though there were problems, and long story short, they aren't my friends anymore. It sucks.


on a smaller note, she can refuse the security system. She just needs to say that she didn't agree on that coming in and doesn't feel like she should pay any of it. I think the landlord is just trying to lower her costs by passing on some of the bill to her roommate, and that's not cool, but you see it all the time.


Sounds like the problems started when the boyfriend moved in.

I was dating a girl for a while and she was living with a few of her girlfriends, and one of the girls started letting her bf live with her and he didn't pay for anything and it drove my ex mad.

Honestly it seems like the situation isn't so much about the money, it's about the lack of communication and courtesy among friends. As a paying tenant, she has every right to live there and is entitled to the exact benefits she received upon the day she moved in. If there are any changes to the agreement, they need to be discussed first with the roommate. That's the landlord's fault, as both a responsible landlord and as a friend. I'm willing to bet if she had been forthcoming and asked the roommate about things like bf, boat, and security system beforehand, there wouldn't really be a problem at all.



and $450 +1/2 utilities isn't that bad of a price, I rent a very similar sized townhome 2BR+office, 1600sq ft and that's what i pay.

6/9/2009 11:47:46 AM

Quote :

"Honestly it seems like the situation isn't so much about the money, it's about the lack of communication and courtesy among friends."

Thats 90% of the problem. 10% is the money.

Quote :

"and $450 +1/2 utilities isn't that bad of a price, I rent a very similar sized townhome 2BR+office, 1600sq ft and that's what i pay."

See above. This is outside of Augusta, GA but I agree, in Raleigh this price is run of the mill.

6/9/2009 11:50:56 AM

lol sorry thought this was in raleigh

6/9/2009 11:54:49 AM

Presh the PM NCSUMEB

6/9/2009 11:56:52 AM

Quote :

"Let's just hope this doesn't turn into a request to move in with me"

that's why she copped an attitude and refuses to do anything about her situation. she wanted you to come to the rescue and offer her a place to stay.

prove me wrong.

6/9/2009 12:56:19 PM

woes b4 ho's

6/9/2009 4:09:31 PM

this thread title confuses me.

6/9/2009 4:13:48 PM

Quote :

"that's why she copped an attitude and refuses to do anything about her situation. she wanted you to come to the rescue and offer her a place to stay."

it always does turn into a request for that. always. i have seen this happen a good 5 or 6 times. here is the breakdown.

1. Buddy comes in complaining that his girlfriend is mad because her roommates have turned into bitches/whores/etc...

2. Buddy shares story about how his girlfriend has tried to resolve the problem but her friends/roommates have become uncharacteristically unreasonable.

3. Buddy comes in and shares story about how "they" have decided she should just move in because signing a new lease would be "too hard" and they are "wasting money" by having two places anyways. This is the point of no return.

4. Buddy calls and asks for help moving girlfriend's stuff on one of the hottest days of the year.

5. Buddy never calls again because he is on lockdown.


You're at about stage 2 of a 5 stage process and are dangerously close to #3.

6/9/2009 4:21:26 PM

seriouscat drops wisdom itt

6/9/2009 4:22:56 PM