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 Message Boards » » INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT AT WORK SON Page [1]  
SaabTurbo
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I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU HAVE BEEN TO THE HARDEES IN LILLINGTON, BUT THAT PLACE HAS A HISTORY OF CALLING ME UP WITH THEIR BULLSHIT JANITOR PROBLEMS SON.

THEY HAVE INDUSTRIAL STYLE TOILETS THAT HAVE NO RESERVOIR ON THE BACK AND NO TOILET LID, JUST A LIFTABLE TOILET SEAT. AS FAR AS PLUMBING GOES, THERE'S JUST A PIPE COMING OUT OF THE WALL WHICH MAKES A 90 DEGREE BEND AND GOES INTO THE TOP PART OF THE TOILET SON. I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL SEEN THESE TOILETS. IN CASE YOU STILL CAN'T IMAGINE IT, THIS IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:



WELL, I WENT IN THAT HARDEES TODAY TO FIND THE WORST INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT I'VE EVER SEEN TO BE HONEST. AS A JANITOR, I HAVE SEEN SOME THINGS GO WRONG BEFORE, BUT NEVER LIKE THIS SON.

I'VE TRIED TO RECREATE THE ACCIDENT SCENE THE BEST I CAN AND I'VE COME UP WITH THE FOLLOWING SCENARIO:

A 275LB MALE CONSTRUCTION WORKER HAD EATEN TWO PHILLY CHEESE STEAKS THE NIGHT BEFORE I ENTERED THE FACILITY. HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO WORK WHEN HE REALIZED HE HAD A PROBLEM. HE STOPPED AT THIS PARTICULAR HARDEES AND RAN IN, HEADING STRAIGHT FOR THE BATHROOM. HE RAN IN AND BURST INTO THE STALL, VIOLENTLY STRUGGLING TO RELEASE HIS BELT, BUTTON AND FLY BEFORE HE SHAT HIMSELF. HE HAD TROUBLE WITH THE BELT AND THE BUTTON, WHICH LOST HIM HIS LAST PRECIOUS SECONDS.

HE TRIED TO SIT DOWN WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY TAKING HIS PANTS OFF TO MAKE SURE THAT HIS ASS HIT THE SEAT AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE AND WITH NO OBSTRUCTIONS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE SWIFT MOTION, WHICH WOULD HOPEFULLY END WITH LOOSE PILE IN THE TOILET. UNFORTUNATELY THE BELT HAD COST HIM TOO MUCH TIME AND AS HE BENT FORWARD TO SIT DOWN HE HAD AN IMMEDIATE BLOWOUT OF LOOSE PILE RHEE ALL OVER THE WALL, FLOOR AND PLUMBING OF THE TOILET SON.

NOW THAT HE HAD FINISHED SHOWERING THE WALL IN HIS FILTHY LOOSE PILE RHEE, HE SIMPLY WIPED HIS ASS AND LEFT THE BATHROOM THAT WAY AND IN A MOTHERFUCKING HURRY I'M SURE SON.


WELL, IT ACTUALLY MADE ME FUCKING VOMIT AND I HAD TO WALK OFF THE JOB SITE. IT'S THE ONLY JOB I'VE EVER BEEN CALLED TO THAT I'VE ACTUALLY FAILED TO COMPLETE AS A JANITOR SON. I ACTUALLY HEARD THEY'VE NOW CALLED IN Arab13 TO HANDLE IT SON.

8/11/2009 4:55:27 PM

dweedle
All American
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need lowercase son

8/11/2009 4:57:12 PM

evan
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10/10

Quote :
"LOOSE PILE RHEE "

8/11/2009 4:57:20 PM

SaabTurbo
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^^ Can't do it son.

8/11/2009 4:57:36 PM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
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ahahahahaahaha

8/11/2009 4:57:41 PM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
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hahaha

8/11/2009 4:57:43 PM

d7freestyler
Sup, Brahms
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reminds me of the macaroni and beef story (http://thewvsr.com/ryans.htm)

8/11/2009 4:58:02 PM

thumper
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ain't that some shit right there

8/11/2009 4:58:06 PM

Kiwi
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Ohmigawd, i would quit on the spit.

8/11/2009 4:59:24 PM

evan
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Ohmigawd, i would quit on the spit.

8/11/2009 4:59:45 PM

gunzz
IS NÚMERO UNO
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oh damn larkin

lol

bring that big motherfucker over tonight, son

8/11/2009 5:00:00 PM

thumper
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Ohmigawd, i would quit on the spit.

8/11/2009 5:00:01 PM

SaabTurbo
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Haha!

8/11/2009 5:00:48 PM

Fhqwhgads
Fuckwads SS '15
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ahahaha

8/11/2009 5:03:17 PM

Biofreak70
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that's why you need a cat:


8/11/2009 5:05:56 PM

gunzz
IS NÚMERO UNO
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Quote :
"QUIT
on the
SPIT"

8/11/2009 5:07:17 PM

amber1
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I remember this story from a while ago. I distinctly remember your use of the word "rhee"

8/11/2009 5:11:55 PM

SaabTurbo
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There have been many rhees my son.

EVEN IF IT WERE OLD, LOOSE PILE RHEE NEEDS TO BE BROUGHT UP FROM TIME TO TIME MY SON.

8/11/2009 5:14:34 PM

Slave Famous
Become Wrath
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lets bring it back

I never bump things, but I actually was thinking about this thread in my sleep, so here you go

8/12/2009 9:13:04 AM

Stimwalt
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lol, Arab13? He's not a janitor son, he works at Duke doing lab work son. I guess you could call him a lab janitor, he does do a lot of checking of samples in the freezers son.

[Edited on August 12, 2009 at 9:17 AM. Reason : -]

8/12/2009 9:16:36 AM

NeuseRvrRat
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he's the lab janitor son

8/12/2009 9:16:59 AM

thumper
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you think SaabSon is a janitor too, don't ya?

8/12/2009 9:17:20 AM

Stimwalt
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I have no idea what SaabTurbo does for a living son. If I had to guess, he works at a sperm bank donating his swimmers to make more sons, son.

8/12/2009 9:18:57 AM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
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NAW SON

[Edited on August 12, 2009 at 9:20 AM. Reason : he does important janitorial work son]

8/12/2009 9:20:23 AM

LaserSoup
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Not that it's not a good story but I was expecting

Yo sons to Bel Aire...or whatever the fuck it's supposed to be.

8/12/2009 9:24:31 AM

SaabTurbo
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Quote :
"lol, Arab13? He's not a janitor son, he works at Duke doing lab work son. I guess you could call him a lab janitor, he does do a lot of checking of samples in the freezers son."


I know who does and doesn't work in my profession in this area son. Arab13 and I cross paths on a regular basis when we get called in to random sites. We work together as consultant janitors sometimes as well son, like if that Hardees needed an estimate on how much it would cost to handle such a large industrial accident.

Basically he provides a second expert opinion in the field son, so don't act like you know him son.

8/12/2009 9:54:09 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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Man and I thought I had seen some fucked up shit in the bathrooms of my former workplaces

8/12/2009 9:57:21 AM

G.O.D
hates 4 lokos
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I think Arab13 would run if he saw that shit!!

but then I think about what he leaves in my bathroom sometimes and think that maybee he is used to that

oh yes he is a janitor. my very own personal one.

the rest of the time he works at Duke.

8/12/2009 10:00:19 AM

thumper
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Quote :
"Man and I thought I had seen some fucked up shit in the bathrooms of my former workplaces "


I once found a baby in the handicap stall shoved behind the toilet. I turned it in to Lost and Found though.

8/12/2009 10:00:31 AM

NeuseRvrRat
hello Mr. NSA!
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doing some top secret janitorial work at duke

8/12/2009 10:00:48 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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I think the worse I ever saw was when a woman decided to take a shit the size of a 20-oz Coke bottle, and left it standing in the water. It was literally lodged into the hole for the toilet and about half of it was sticking out of the water. I refused to clean the bathroom that night

8/12/2009 10:02:26 AM

thumper
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Some kid puked chicken and rice into the water fountain at the Blockbuster I worked at when I was 17.

I too refused to clean it.

8/12/2009 10:03:16 AM

SaabTurbo
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^^ Hah! I guess she had been anally fisted quite a bit to be able to drop a coke bottle shit.

^ WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE PUKE IN A WATER FOUNTAIN?!

8/12/2009 10:06:19 AM

thumper
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The kid was like 5 years old.

Besides, the fountain was next to the bathroom - he almost made it

8/12/2009 10:08:13 AM

FuhCtious
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this sounds like at some point in the universe it will be made into japanese porn.

8/12/2009 10:08:17 AM

SaabTurbo
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^^ Ahh, I see!

8/12/2009 10:10:15 AM

Pikey
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I'm sure it was mostly liquid. Just hose it down the drain and use a long mop to get the residue.

8/12/2009 10:19:42 AM

billytalent
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I AM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD THAT I CAN'T SEE AND MY DICK IS BLEEDING

8/12/2009 10:29:24 AM

SaabTurbo
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I aim to please son.

8/12/2009 10:54:03 AM

kdawg(c)
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That Mab & Beef story is awesome. I have one not as awesome or as long, so I'll tell it here.

My sister-in-law was in town (Hawaii) and we took her with my wife and two sons downtown to Honolulu. Before we leave to go anywhere, we always make my boys go to the bathroom.

My wife is driving the van with my sis-in-law in the passenger seat. Behind them are my sons in their car seats, and behind them is me, reading a book and listening to my iPhone.

Apparently, I'm listening to the music at a rather high volume, because my wife starts screaming at me, "Adam!" I take the headphones off, put the book down, and inquire as to the nature of the problem.

"Erick has to go poop NOW."

We were on H1 heading East in the second lane of a four lane highway. Not an exit for another two miles maybe. My son is SHAKING in his seat, so you know it's coming SOON.

What do I do? I look around the van, and to my relief, I find a receptacle that, while not normally used for this manner of relief, is suitable enough.

It's my wife's all-WHITE hat she wears when she runs.

While my wife is changing lanes to the far-right lane on the highway, I am unbuckling my spasmodic four year old as fast as I can and explaining to him what is about to go down (literally).

"Erick, I'm going to take you out of your seat and you are going to squat down and go poopie, okay, buddy?"

"Okay."

And then, like the bright sun on a warm Hawaiian day, the sharting commences. While I am holding the hat under his corn-hole, I look around the van and find a few pieces of paper to put under the hat because I wasn't about to bed my van's carpet on the ability (or lack thereof) of the hat to capture and contain all shart.

Once complete (cleanly, I might add), I wipe the very relieved little guy's bum, and put him back in his seat.

Now what? Thankfully, the wife found the exit and pulled into a gas station where I disposed of receptacle.

We went on our merry way, and laughed a good bad afterwards.

I love being a dad.

8/12/2009 11:11:18 AM

wolfpackgrrr
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Quote :
"this sounds like at some point in the universe it will be made into japanese porn."


I'm sure it was made years ago.

8/12/2009 11:29:06 AM

Kickstand
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I found this if you are unhappy with your job.
Quote :
"Environmental Services Technician
Job ID #: 887 Campus: WakeMed Cary Hospital
Job Category: Environmental/Housekeeping Department: Environmental Services - 08_8090
Employment Type: Supplemental Minimum Salary: $9.42
Shift: Weekend Day/Evening Maximum Salary: $15.07


About WakeMed
WakeMed’s team of 7,400 nurses, technologists, medical support staff, and nearly 1,000 affiliated physicians represent the best minds and the biggest hearts in the business. We believe that a challenging work environment motivates employees to provide the highest quality of care, while satisfying professional growth needs. We offer competitive salaries, which reflect background, experience and advanced skills, and we recruit professionals who share our passion for providing the highest level of patient care available.

Position Information
Performs routine cleaning (using 7-step method) such as dry and damp mopping floors, vacuuming rugs/carpets, dusting, and sanitizing surfaces in clinical work areas, offices, hallways, restrooms, and patient rooms to ensure a clean and safe environment for patients, visitors, and staff on a daily basis.

Experience Requirements :
Institutional cleaning experience.

Education Requirements :
Tenth Grade education required; High school graduate preferred.

Licensure/Certification Requirements :
N/A

Hours of Work : Sunday, Saturday & Weekdays as assigned; 7:00am-3:30pm, or 3:00pm - 11:30pm as scheduled.
Weekend Requirements : Every Other
Call Requirements : None
"

8/12/2009 2:51:21 PM

GREEN JAY
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i only got a 9th grade education, they wont let me mop anything now

8/12/2009 2:57:10 PM

AstralAdvent
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HEY SNOB TURBO

what was that thread where you told all those stories son?

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on August 12, 2009 at 3:07 PM. Reason : cuz i'm pretty sure this one waz in there]

8/12/2009 3:03:15 PM

BubbleBobble
BACK IN DA HIGH LIFE
115372 Posts
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in on page 1, sons!

8/12/2009 3:10:30 PM

jethromoore
All American
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^^message_topic.aspx?topic=548173

SaabTurbo's Stories of Rhee: Yule Log Edition

look for it Christmas 09

8/12/2009 3:22:30 PM

CeilingCat
All American
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I LOVE SAABTURBO'S RHEE RHEE INDUSTRIAL ACCIDENT STORIES SON. THEY GROSS ME OUT AND MAKE ME LOL AT THE SAME TIME.

8/12/2009 3:58:30 PM

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