OK, so the title is a parody but the thread isn't

Did you ever walk in on your parents having sex when you were younger? Ever catch mommy giving daddy a bj? Tell your story itt.

8/13/2009 11:27:55 AM

thank god my parents got divorced when i was young so i never had to see this.

8/13/2009 11:28:58 AM

Never walked in on them, but I found my mom's vibrator a couple times.

8/13/2009 11:29:24 AM

i will not post in your thread.

8/13/2009 11:29:42 AM

I used to fap to the sounds of them having sex. I still do sometimes.

8/13/2009 11:30:12 AM

Yes. I cried. Honestly.

haha

8/13/2009 11:30:42 AM

at least 3 times

Once they were fucking normal mish, not a big deal

Two they were fucking cow, mom's going buckwild on top and dad is all Master P UHHHHHHHHH

Three, she's blowing him, I remember because I thought my cock was small at the time and was encouraged that it would grow to the size of my dads (which it did, and more)

8/13/2009 11:31:46 AM

I used to hear them but I never walked in on them

on a side note, any one else think their dad's penis was HUGE when they were younger?

8/13/2009 11:32:15 AM

NEVER. thank god.

i do distinctly remember one morning where my parents door was locked, but i had no idea why and i did not hear anything suspicious.

thank god.

^ lol dude, my dad's junk is at least 10" long limp. i can't remember for sure but i know that it's way bigger than mine.

[Edited on August 13, 2009 at 11:35 AM. Reason : ^]

8/13/2009 11:33:02 AM

I'm pretty sure my parents have never had sex.

8/13/2009 11:33:17 AM

The time I saw my dad's penis was long before the internet or middle school, so I really had no frame of reference. Thank god.

But now I'm thinking about my dad's penis, and I hate you so much.

8/13/2009 11:33:28 AM

Quote :

"and dad is all Master P UHHHHHHHHH"

I'm still loling as aI type this post.

8/13/2009 11:34:06 AM

"My parents don't have sex"
"What makes you say that?"
"They're divorced"
"That doesn't mean anything"


I had that conversation like no shit 30 minutes ago

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

[Edited on August 13, 2009 at 11:34 AM. Reason : no shit]

8/13/2009 11:34:28 AM

I just remember being like 10 and walking in on my dad after he got out of the shower and thinking "HOLY SHIT, IT'S AS BIG AS MY ARM"

Then i was home from college one summer and the same thing happened, and in reality he was probably about average.

Funny how perception changes as you grow up.

8/13/2009 11:35:37 AM

Well, as long as I'm thinking about my father's penis

...shrunken, it's larger than my husbands. If I'm remembering correctly and time hasn't acted as a magnifying glass.

I hate you so. much. right now.

8/13/2009 11:37:07 AM

My dad's was more thick than long

like a budweiser can

8/13/2009 11:37:09 AM

Damn zorthage, your father-in-law has a bigger dick than you.

And your wife put it out there

SICK BURN

8/13/2009 11:39:14 AM

Just had a thought of zorthage ramming ambrosia and it wasn't as bad as I feared

8/13/2009 11:40:11 AM

we lived in a small ass house.. they locked the door (which was always open the rest of the time). so, it was completely obvious. and loud. and yea, i'm gonna go vomit now.

8/13/2009 11:43:42 AM

This is one thing I never saw, and am very glad about that.

8/13/2009 11:43:54 AM

i heard, but never saw

8/13/2009 11:45:19 AM

My parents were divorced by the time I was old enough to hear/see any kind of sexual stuff. But my mom was a whore for a few years and had a revolving door to her bedroom. I heard all sorts of shit back then.

8/13/2009 11:46:32 AM

And now your mom just tells you about all the crazy sex she's having

8/13/2009 11:49:09 AM

Exactly. I'm eternally grateful that she's telling me and I don't have to see it or hear it.

Do you have any idea how weird it is for a 9 year old to get up on Saturday morning and see a weird man making coffee in her kitchen with no shirt on?

[Edited on August 13, 2009 at 11:50 AM. Reason : .]

8/13/2009 11:50:10 AM

when you say "whore", how literal is that?

8/13/2009 11:54:31 AM

ahaha

this reminds me of some of the texts from last night where the guy the mom brings home is younger than one of her kids that he runs into the next morning..

8/13/2009 11:54:47 AM

Quote :

"when you say "whore", how literal is that?"

what i mean is, my dad was the first guy she was ever with. she married him, and for 6 years they were married and he was a stick-in-the-mud boring guy. when they split up (she was 25) she kinda went crazy cuz she'd only ever known "boring" with him. so she had lots of casual sex with lots of guys. i had lots of baby-sitters back then, cuz she went out partying a lot.

8/13/2009 11:56:54 AM

"not literally" would've been fine.

[Edited on August 13, 2009 at 11:58 AM. Reason : i like your explanation though.]

8/13/2009 11:57:50 AM

your mom needs a 31 year old

8/13/2009 11:58:26 AM

my room as always been on the opposite side of the house

luckily I never heard anything

8/13/2009 11:58:36 AM

never walked in on the actual act but I for damn sure heard it from time to time.

8/13/2009 11:58:52 AM

Quote :

"your mom needs a 31 year old"

she has a 29 year old right now

8/13/2009 12:00:10 PM

I would like everyone to know...

that your mom

had

just finished

sucking your dad's dick

gargling his load in her mouf

and swallowing right before she

came to tuck you in and give you a kiss at night.

8/13/2009 12:01:48 PM

^^ like i said, she needs a 31 year old

8/13/2009 12:32:11 PM

my mom and step dad had a water bed, and their room was right next to my sister's room. no soothing ocean sounds for her. also, my dad and step mom's room was directly above my sister's at their house. poor girl.

8/13/2009 12:42:25 PM

I will never understand how anyone can sleep on a waterbed

8/13/2009 12:43:28 PM

Wow, this thread. PWNT

8/13/2009 12:45:02 PM

why pwnt?

8/13/2009 12:51:30 PM

she's likely referring to xtine's post about her dad. cuz she's always talking about xtine's post about something.

8/13/2009 12:52:00 PM

oic

that post wins my post of the month award so far. it is great on so many levels

8/13/2009 12:54:27 PM

I remember seeing my dad in his tighty-whities and thinking he had a huge package compared to mine, but I don't recall seeing his dong naked

I remember seeing my mom's bush one time and being freaked out for a little while

8/13/2009 1:02:33 PM

i, too, have mental scars from seeing the epic mom bush

8/13/2009 1:14:10 PM

WTFs all around this thread.



I never saw and i'm pretty sure i've never heard.

8/13/2009 1:19:41 PM

man, my mom walked around naked all. the. damn. time. when I was a kid.

My dad usually wore tighty-whities. The time I saw his penis was at like 5am - he didn't know I was out of bed.

8/13/2009 1:20:01 PM

I used to sit on the floor of the bathroom and talk to my mom while she took a bath

8/13/2009 1:21:29 PM

my mom had a shaved bush - strange for 1984

8/13/2009 2:20:48 PM

your mom was a trend setter

8/13/2009 2:25:25 PM

Quote :

"thumper: Do you have any idea how weird it is for a 9 year old to get up on Saturday morning and see a weird man making coffee in her kitchen with no shirt on?"

i'm pretty sure i was that guy. i've had a lot of milfs over the years.

once was with this woman a good bit older than I, and her 17 yo walked in on us one morning while i had her mom bent over doggie with her face buried in the pillow... i didnt know what to do, so i just raised my eyebrow at her daughter and she just quietly backed out and shut the door.



[Edited on August 13, 2009 at 2:29 PM. Reason : ]

8/13/2009 2:28:10 PM

my mom had a shaved bush - strange for 1994

8/13/2009 2:28:44 PM

^^ I will go ahead and call bullshit on that one

8/13/2009 2:29:51 PM