#1) When the professor says, "Unless anybody has any questions or comments, you guys can go," you shut your fucking mouth. This is especially true if it's 8:30 at night and you're two and a half hours into a three hour class.

Whatever comment you have is not important. Whatever question you have is probably self-explanatory or can be posed one-on-one.

There is no exception for students who are on fire. They can stop, drop, and roll their own damn selves.

[/rant]

Please feel free to add to this list.

8/26/2009 3:47:04 PM

somebody's grumpy

8/26/2009 3:48:39 PM

you sure are grumpy

8/26/2009 3:48:45 PM

^^^I take it you had that happen last night?

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 3:54 PM. Reason : .]

8/26/2009 3:49:40 PM

2) After the first 2-3 classes, seats become "assigned". You can't just move around Willy Nilly. If you take my seat perfectly situated between the back door and pretty blonde with the lip ring, I'm gonna tell you to fucking move.

8/26/2009 3:51:03 PM

3) If you are a dude and enter a class and only 5 people are there so far, do not sit directly beside another dude. Especially if you are Indian, because you stink, and there were plenty of other seats to sit in. I didn't even know you, go on somewhere.

8/26/2009 3:52:47 PM

I am indeed grumpy and it did indeed happen last night. Why I decided to post it just now . . . I dunno, probably between-class boredom.

Slave Famous also has a good rule. The only possible exception is classes where seats are at a premium (say, the number of chairs around the table is less than the total number of students, some of whom have to sit against the wall with no writing surface). In that case I'd say it's a year-long battle of every man for himself.

^That rule is also good. It's like urinal etiquette, but hopefully nobody's dick is out.

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 3:54 PM. Reason : ]

8/26/2009 3:53:52 PM

4) If the length from your left should to your right is wider than the average college student, then don't sit right the fuck in front of me. Some of us actually pay attention and would like to see what's going on.

^I had a seminar like that last year, 8 chairs around the table, another 12 against the walls of a very small conference room. I showed up early enough to never have to take a wall seat.

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 3:55 PM. Reason : ^]

8/26/2009 3:54:12 PM

^Sit in the front row and you won't have that problem.

8/26/2009 3:56:00 PM

5) If you are a dude, don't write down the names of all the girls in your class, look them up on the stalker web and proceed to email them with your deepest, darkest feelings. And please don't use their email address to find out their IM information. Especially if you never spoke to these girls in class.

The student/stalker directory was not intended to be a stalker directory.

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 3:56 PM. Reason : .]

8/26/2009 3:56:07 PM

GrumpyGOP is consistently one of my favorite posters.

8/26/2009 3:56:50 PM

6. Don't be that guy.

might be redundant to #1, but that guy can pop up in the middle of class too

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 4:00 PM. Reason : ]

8/26/2009 3:57:07 PM

^^^^I'm tall, and I don't want to block the view of someone behind me. That would make me a hypocrite.

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 3:57 PM. Reason : -]

8/26/2009 3:57:20 PM

4 and 5 are no good. Sorry, if you're a little person who has trouble seeing past others, you can sit your ass in the front. I'm not going to give up the seat I want because you're puny.

As for 5, it's not really in the spirit. "Don't be a creepy stalker" is a general life rule, not really an Ancient Class Rule.

---

^I'm tall, and I say fuck the people behind me. The desks aren't single-file. They can sit to either side, or their ass can show up early and get a good seat, or they can just ask me politely to scoot over some. But I'm not making it a general rule to sit in the back because I'm a big guy. This isn't a goddamn bus in the 1950s.

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 4:00 PM. Reason : ]

8/26/2009 3:58:48 PM

Quote :

"#1) When the professor says, "Unless anybody has any questions or comments, you guys can go," you shut your fucking mouth. This is especially true if it's 8:30 at night and you're two and a half hours into a three hour class. "

too true, ask the professor after people are half way out if you really must know (go up to him/her)

Quote :

"2) After the first 2-3 classes, seats become "assigned". You can't just move around Willy Nilly. If you take my seat perfectly situated between the back door and pretty blonde with the lip ring, I'm gonna tell you to fucking move."

addendum: you can move to any previously unoccupied seat however, never one that someone's been in.

4. don't sit in the middle of a crowded row if you even think you will have to make a early exit (unless there are no other available seat, which should motivate you to get there earlier.

5. don't be that person that asks the question that the professor has just spent the last 25 minutes describing the answer of.

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 4:04 PM. Reason : 39693 palidrome!]

8/26/2009 4:00:02 PM

Motion to ammend rule 1:

If you have questions in a lecture class, you shut your fucking mouth and ask them on your own time. After class or during the teacher's office hours or some shit.

8/26/2009 4:03:49 PM

Unfortunately it is sometimes necessary in lecture classes to ask questions in order to get professors to correct mistakes. Happened several times today, as a matter of fact.

8/26/2009 4:05:37 PM

if your professor takes a vote to move the due date of a project or test to a later date, you should vote yes unless . . . . .

- You have a previous engagemet or plans that would complicate (you should still attempt to work this out with the Prof so as not to screw the rest of the class)

- The test in question is the final exam, in which case you vote to move it to an earlier date.

8/26/2009 4:17:06 PM

If the teacher is almost say late as to put the 10-minute rule in effect, do not say anything to that effect. It is an immutable law of nature that if someone says, "Hey, we're almost at the ten-minute rule, right?" the professor will show up in time.

I realize that the 10-minute rule isn't an official thing, but most times it has come up the professor has acknowledged that they would follow it. And the only time I've seen it successfully put into effect, nobody mentioned it.

8/26/2009 4:22:54 PM

think it is 15 mins for a full professor.

10 mins for an adjunct or an instructor.

8/26/2009 4:24:27 PM

Actually, yeah, I think I've heard that variation. The key point stands: Never, ever, ever say anything about it if you want it to actually happen.

8/26/2009 4:28:19 PM

^^ What about an associate professor? 12.5 min.?

8/26/2009 5:47:41 PM

# whatever

You're not going to change anyone's opinion on serious social issues in your 50 min time span of class. Please stop arguing with the professor/other students so we can get on with class.

8/26/2009 5:48:54 PM

Quote :

"Motion to ammend rule 1: If you have questions in a lecture class, you shut your fucking mouth and ask them on your own time. After class or during the teacher's office hours or some shit."

With that one sentence, you have shown you are not a student.

You want to change how teaching and learning has taken place since ancient times? Some people actually, you know, want to learn... oh the horrors! And if you are in a class of technical nature, where things build on top of each other, I don't see how one can or should stay silent if one doesn't understand a point.

Teaching is supposed to be a back and forth thing... not one person babbling on and the others sitting like stones. If that's your idea of learning, that's your choice. If you don't want to learn, that's your choice.

Grumpy's point stands... he was talking about the end of the class, esp if it is a long class at night.

8/26/2009 5:54:02 PM

Yeah I like when other people ask questions in class....just not when they ask questions but already know the answer just to prove that they know the answer. I also don't like it when people ask questions that have already been answered. I also hate it when people ask questions right at the end of class that cause us to have to sit there on the edge of our seats ready to leave.

8/26/2009 5:56:26 PM

Quote :

"5) If you are a dude, don't write down the names of all the girls in your class, look them up on the stalker web and proceed to email them with your deepest, darkest feelings. And please don't use their email address to find out their IM information. Especially if you never spoke to these girls in class. The student/stalker directory was not intended to be a stalker directory. "

ahaha....uncw has a list online of everyone that's registered for each one of your classes...it's a stalker's dream.

8/26/2009 7:28:54 PM

^i'm sure EMCE is filling out his uncw application right now

8/26/2009 7:33:52 PM

Quote :

"3) If you are a dude and enter a class and only 5 people are there so far, do not sit directly beside another dude."

you weren't an engineer, i see.

8/26/2009 7:34:32 PM

rule #whatever) Don't ask a bunch of stupid fucking questions just for the sake of asking stupid fucking questions. There was this one kid in my PY208 class that would ask the most pointless questions (I guess he thought they made him sound smart) and every time he raised his hand the whole class knew what was coming. He would seriously ask at least 5 questions per class period...it's like he had a quota of asking stupid shit to fill. You can probably imagine what this kid looked like too: fat, probably smelled like cheese, nerdy, obvious lack of social skills, etc.

8/26/2009 7:39:07 PM

you see wrong

8/26/2009 7:40:48 PM

you had chicks in your classes?

especially ones that you'd give a damn about sitting anywhere near?

8/26/2009 7:42:45 PM

Quote :

"^i'm sure EMCE is filling out his uncw application right now"

yawn

8/26/2009 7:43:50 PM

of course chicks were in classes, but the rule wasn't really about that

8/26/2009 7:46:00 PM

Law #1: Shut the fuck up
Law #2: Shut the fuck up
Law #3: When a vote is taken always vote for the side which will result in the least/easiest work
Law #4: Shut the fuck up

8/26/2009 8:08:05 PM

dweedle was in one of the girl engineer majors

textiles or chemical or something

8/26/2009 8:13:17 PM

if you're only in class to meet the attendance requirements, go ahead and quit now.

8/26/2009 8:44:21 PM

^word

I hate people that go to class every day just to talk to people/fuck around on their laptops
I get distracted easily and I always end up trying to play their tetris game for them in my brain instead of paying attention

so annoying

8/26/2009 8:48:26 PM

um, i learn about 5-10% of the material in my classes by going to class.... the rest i learn by reviewing the material on my own, doing homework and studying for tests

8/26/2009 9:05:09 PM

Quote :

"#1) When the professor says, "Unless anybody has any questions or comments, you guys can go," you shut your fucking mouth."

+1 vote for this rule

Group Etiquette Participation Rule:
-Pull your own weight. Everyone is paying to be in that class already, they aren't looking to do your work for you too.


Class Presentation Rule:
-Presentations in front of the class need to either be interesting & on topic, or if that can't be achieved at least make them short.

8/26/2009 9:41:50 PM

right on

we're not here to get an education

we're here to get a piece of paper

amirite

8/26/2009 10:05:51 PM

that's what i'm here for

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 10:06 PM. Reason : i'll get my learnings on the job]

8/26/2009 10:06:15 PM

for reals

and besides, this is a state school

no one really expects us to learn anything here

8/26/2009 10:08:01 PM

Quote :

"You're not going to change anyone's opinion on serious social issues in your 50 min time span of class. Please stop arguing with the professor/other students so we can get on with class."

haha too true. That shit used to really annoy me in my PS classes.

Quote :

"I get distracted easily and I always end up trying to play their tetris game for them in my brain instead of paying attention"

Sounds like you need Ritalin.

8/26/2009 10:12:37 PM

people like GrumpyGOP are the reason I did not do well at State. I am a question asker. I always have been. I never studied in high school, just asked a lot of questions in class. I made straight A's. Then college came, and I never felt comfortable asking questions.

8/26/2009 10:15:30 PM

Quote :

"rule #whatever) Don't ask a bunch of stupid fucking questions just for the sake of asking stupid fucking questions. There was this one kid in my PY208 class that would ask the most pointless questions (I guess he thought they made him sound smart) and every time he raised his hand the whole class knew what was coming. He would seriously ask at least 5 questions per class period...it's like he had a quota of asking stupid shit to fill. You can probably imagine what this kid looked like too: fat, probably smelled like cheese, nerdy, obvious lack of social skills, etc."

Lol, you got annoyed by a dude asking 5 questions per session of PY208? I would ask like 10 before we even got to the stupid clicker problems.

^ You should have just asked them. My attitude was always that if you had a problem with me asking questions...you can just go fuck yourself. Of course, I was actually cutting the checks for my education so that added to my sense of entitlement.

[Edited on August 26, 2009 at 10:20 PM. Reason : .]

8/26/2009 10:19:27 PM

If you're asking worthwhile questions then you shouldn't feel uncomfortable asking them. All too often at State though, people are asking questions that the professor JUST explained, proving they weren't listening, or they're asking questions to try and make themselves sound smart or worldly. Most people can spot the difference between a legit question and other types of questions. In most of my classes I would say 60% of the questions asked were worthwhile, but there'd always be that douche asking the other 40% of the questions.

8/26/2009 10:20:19 PM

And along with that are the extremely long answers, often to rhetorical questions, there was a guy who was horrible about this in my stats class. like the prof would ask "what are some ways of randomizing outcome?" and he wanted answers like dice, but this fucker raises his hand and starts talking about a computer program, poorly and in detail, like "then create a loop that uses a case statement..." yeah were all really fuckin impressed that you kind of know VB.

8/26/2009 10:24:00 PM

Quote :

"Motion to ammend rule 1: If you have questions in a lecture class, you shut your fucking mouth and ask them on your own time. After class or during the teacher's office hours or some shit."

fuck that, i'll ask questions if i want. i'm paying tuition, i'm there because i want to be, i'll ask a question. if you don't like it just stay home.

Quote :

"people like GrumpyGOP are the reason I did not do well at State. I am a question asker. I always have been. I never studied in high school, just asked a lot of questions in class. I made straight A's. Then college came, and I never felt comfortable asking questions."

there is a difference between asking questions and asking questions in that scenario. in that case everyone wants to go home, just walk to the front of the class and ask the professor, there will probably be a couple people up there asking questions too.

8/26/2009 10:28:12 PM

Yeah asking questions like "can you clarify that for me" or "Can you give another example" are great questions because they also help out your classmates but if you're asking a question just cause you haven't heard your own voice in a while just shut up.

My favorite thing to do when people start getting on a questioning roll where they are asking about pointless things is asking the prof if we need to know all that random ass stuff that person just asked about for the test. Most the time they get the point to stfu.

8/26/2009 10:38:14 PM

generally when one of these fucks starts doing the i'mma-ask-questions-to-sound-smart thing in a mechanical engineering class everyone sighs, moans, and mumbles "shut the fuck up" enough that the dumbass gets the picture

we're ruthless

8/26/2009 10:41:11 PM