Sometimes I forget that my folks only have high school education. My nephew was playing with a helium balloon last night and my dad poses the question "what is helium?" the conversation went something like this:

dad: What you reckon helium is anyway?
me: its a naturally occuring element, the 2nd element on periodic table. you know, the first of the noble gases. but i don't know how or where its extracted.
dad: oh...is there any oxygen in helium?
me:

11/28/2009 1:38:50 AM

i would have facepalmed

11/28/2009 1:41:06 AM

Texas has the largest helium fields in the world. There are only a few places in the world where it occurs in pockets large enough to be mined. It's found in pockets of natural gas. Just happened to see a program about Zeppelins and blimps not that long ago.

[Edited on November 28, 2009 at 1:43 AM. Reason : asdfsad]

11/28/2009 1:43:07 AM

thats a simple mistake. most people think air is mostly oxygen, and that water doesn't contain oxygen because we drown in it.

on a related note I watched the Abyss today and really want to try out the oxygenated liquid stuff.

11/28/2009 1:44:54 AM

i also recently explained to him that air is ~80% nitrogen so there was no need to pay the guy to fill his tires with nitrogen. i don't think he bought it though.

11/28/2009 1:59:07 AM

that cell phones work inside

sometimes my dad gets confused

11/28/2009 2:00:59 AM

That God doesn't exist.

*Ducks head*

11/28/2009 2:03:41 AM

i'm not about to start the god/jesus battle.

11/28/2009 2:09:13 AM

My dad thinks Best Buy is called Best Buys

11/28/2009 2:11:45 AM

well I grew up in Smithfield, and Walmart was known as "Walmarks"...but not in MY family.

11/28/2009 4:23:53 AM

Quote :

"dad: oh...is there any oxygen in helium? me: "

11/28/2009 7:05:29 AM

that buying extended an warranty on a car with 23k miles is generally a bad idea

11/28/2009 7:37:27 AM

[Edited on November 28, 2009 at 7:38 AM. Reason : fc]

11/28/2009 7:37:52 AM

Quote :

"My dad thinks Best Buy is called Best Buys"

ha mine too

11/28/2009 8:50:27 AM

Quote :

"Texas has the largest helium fields in the world. There are only a few places in the world where it occurs in pockets large enough to be mined. It's found in pockets of natural gas. Just happened to see a program about Zeppelins and blimps not that long ago."

Learn something new everyday...

Quote :

"Natural abundance Helium is the second most abundant element in the known Universe (after hydrogen), constituting 23% of the baryonic mass of the Universe. The vast majority of helium was formed by Big Bang nucleosynthesis from one to three minutes after the Big Bang. As such, measurements of its abundance contribute to cosmological models. In stars, it is formed by the nuclear fusion of hydrogen in proton-proton chain reactions and the CNO cycle, part of stellar nucleosynthesis. In the Earth's atmosphere, the concentration of helium by volume is only 5.2 parts per million. The concentration is low and fairly constant despite the continuous production of new helium because most helium in the Earth's atmosphere escapes into space by several processes. In the Earth's heterosphere, a part of the upper atmosphere, helium and other lighter gases are the most abundant elements. Nearly all helium on Earth is a result of radioactive decay, and thus an Earthly helium balloon is essentially a bag of retired alpha particles. [lol sentence at phrasing] Helium is found in large amounts in minerals of uranium and thorium, including cleveite, pitchblende, carnotite and monazite, because they emit alpha particles (helium nuclei, He2+) to which electrons immediately combine as soon as the particle is stopped by the rock. In this way an estimated 3000 tonnes of helium are generated per year throughout the lithosphere. In the Earth's crust, the concentration of helium is 8 parts per billion. In seawater, the concentration is only 4 parts per trillion. There are also small amounts in mineral springs, volcanic gas, and meteoric iron. Because helium is trapped in a similar way by non-permeable layer of rock like natural gas the greatest concentrations on the planet are found in natural gas, from which most commercial helium is derived. The concentration varies in a broad range from a few ppm up to over 7% in a small gas field in San Juan County, New Mexico. Modern extraction For large-scale use, helium is extracted by fractional distillation from natural gas, which contains up to 7% helium. Since helium has a lower boiling point than any other element, low temperature and high pressure are used to liquefy nearly all the other gases (mostly nitrogen and methane). The resulting crude helium gas is purified by successive exposures to lowering temperatures, in which almost all of the remaining nitrogen and other gases are precipitated out of the gaseous mixture. Activated charcoal is used as a final purification step, usually resulting in 99.995% pure Grade-A helium. The principal impurity in Grade-A helium is neon. In a final production step, most of the helium that is produced is liquefied via a cryogenic process. This is necessary for applications requiring liquid helium and also allows helium suppliers to reduce the cost of long distance transportation, as the largest liquid helium containers have more than five times the capacity of the largest gaseous helium tube trailers. In 2005, approximately 160 million cubic meters of helium were extracted from natural gas or withdrawn from helium reserves, with approximately 83% from the United States, 11% from Algeria, and most of the remainder from Russia and Poland. In the United States, most helium is extracted from natural gas of the Hugoton and nearby gas fields in Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas. Diffusion of crude natural gas through special semipermeable membranes and other barriers is another method to recover and purify helium. Helium can be synthesized by bombardment of lithium or boron with high-velocity protons, but this is not an economically viable method of production. Supply depletion Current reserves of helium are being utilized much faster than they are being replenished. Given this situation, there are major concerns that the supply of helium may be depleted soon; the world's largest reserves, in Amarillo, Texas, are expected to run out within the next eight years. This might be preventable if current users capture and recycle the gas and if oil and gas companies make use of capture techniques when extracting gas."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helium

The source for 8 years is dated 1/5/2008.

-----

The US had a strategic helium reserve from 1925 until 1996.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Helium_Reserve

[Edited on November 28, 2009 at 9:17 AM. Reason : ]

11/28/2009 9:09:48 AM

Quote :

"My dad thinks Best Buy is called Best Buys"

I don't know why it gets on my nerves so much, but my dad always asks if I want some "Panera's"...

Quote :

"Sometimes I forget that my folks only have high school education. My nephew was playing with a helium balloon last night and my dad poses the question "what is helium?""

I don't get it. Was chemistry absent from high school in his days?

11/28/2009 10:19:07 AM

how much attention does the average non-college-bound HS student pay in chemistry?

11/28/2009 10:24:05 AM

how much attention does the average non-chemistry-major college student pay in chemistry?


who the fuck cares? it's not an excuse to sound like a dipshit

11/28/2009 10:32:42 AM

Quote :

"i also recently explained to him that air is ~80% nitrogen so there was no need to pay the guy to fill his tires with nitrogen. i don't think he bought it though."

I never understood why my parents would take the word of strangers trying to make a buck off them over their own son who had nothing to gain. My mom still buys this and she was one of the first female programmers for IBM, so she isn't a simple lady.

11/28/2009 11:13:25 AM

How much sodium is in salt? - My dad

11/28/2009 11:19:43 AM

that the word is chipotle, not chipolte

11/28/2009 11:21:29 AM

for the record,table salt is only ike fifty-something percent sodium.

11/28/2009 11:24:15 AM

Quote :

"How much sodium is in salt? - My dad"

you're the dumbass.

11/28/2009 11:27:50 AM

Quote :

"i also recently explained to him that air is ~80% nitrogen so there was no need to pay the guy to fill his tires with nitrogen. i don't think he bought it though."

That's not totally accurate. I thought it was BS myself until I used it. The N2 filled tires don't fluctuate as much during season change. However no one in the area has N2, I have to drive to Raleighwood to get it.

11/28/2009 11:30:12 AM

costco uses nitrogen

11/28/2009 11:38:43 AM

Quote :

"I don't know why it gets on my nerves so much, but my dad always asks if I want some "Panera's""

i say this

11/28/2009 11:42:35 AM

Quote :

"dad: oh...is there any oxygen in helium?"

It would've been hard for me not to laugh at this.

11/28/2009 11:47:49 AM

There are a lot of little things like this my dad should know but doesn't.

But since he knows so much more actual useful shit than I do, I find it hard to fault him for it.

[Edited on November 28, 2009 at 11:51 AM. Reason : ]

11/28/2009 11:51:14 AM

my grandfather needs to learn that sending 5 chain e-mails a day is fucking annoying

11/28/2009 11:51:32 AM

i don't fault him for it, but just sort of take my on education for granted, I guess. I seriously doubt he even took chemistry in high school, especially in the school system he was in. Even if he did, academics weren't something he was particularly interested in. He worked in a warehouse slinging boxes until i was 16 or 17 years old. Since then he's gone on to a career in highway construction/drainage inspection. Given the proper motivation, he would likely have done very well as an engineer.

I do get really frustrated with the super ethnocentric attitude. Its like its hard for him to understand that the entire world is not contained in the 50 mile radius around his house.

[Edited on November 28, 2009 at 12:35 PM. Reason : .]

11/28/2009 12:29:37 PM

own*

11/28/2009 12:30:10 PM

^^ what is his ethnocentric attitude and how is that relevant to his lack of education??

11/28/2009 12:31:56 PM

nothing about lack of education per se, but rather it seems like people should understand there's more to the work then what's inside their bubble. for the record, i was first exposed to the idea by my 7th grade english teacher, so i do sort of see education as a guiding factor.

11/28/2009 12:40:37 PM

haha I'm glad I'm not the only one with a dad that likes to pluralize store names

11/29/2009 12:55:19 AM

The bad thing, Chop, is that one day your kids will think you're retarded too. It's the Circle of Life thing from the Disney Moves; only IRL.

11/29/2009 12:58:36 AM

My dad needs to know that HIV isn't primarily spread by homosexuals anymore, and hasn't for a pretty sizable amount of time. We had this discussion three years ago, then it came up again this weekend, and I Google'd it for him. I still think he denies it, as if it was some cover-up.

11/29/2009 1:01:41 AM

My dad needs to learn that people will be offended when you are racist and make fun of people with disabilities. People will also not find you humorous.

11/29/2009 1:13:29 AM

Adding s's at the end of store names is a Southern thing. I read it somewhere.

Barnes and Nobles
Brier Creeks

I dunno why I do that.

11/29/2009 3:31:20 AM

yeah, adding Ss or 's to store names is extremely common. it seems like 75% of the people in the south to do it, and 100% of old people. i guess they're just used to back in the day when stores were owned by somebody so it really was smith's country store or whatever. the younger people are just ignorant. also very common are "the walmart", "the target", etc.

my dad doesn't understand anything about chemistry. i'm sure he knows there's no oxygen in helium though.

11/29/2009 9:21:32 AM

Quote :

"My dad needs to know that HIV isn't primarily spread by homosexuals anymore, and hasn't for a pretty sizable amount of time. We had this discussion three years ago, then it came up again this weekend, and I Google'd it for him. I still think he denies it, as if it was some cover-up."

I believe it still is in this country.



LOL @ people ITT playing statistics with their parents to prove they are smart

Also, gems like:

Quote :

"My dad needs to learn that people will be offended when you are racist and make fun of people with disabilities."

carry on, kids.... you're obviously SO SMART!!! Mommy has a cookie for her precious little genius, if you could only make fun of her a few more times...

[Edited on November 29, 2009 at 9:51 AM. Reason : s]

11/29/2009 9:47:24 AM

^so, you are ok with people making racist comments and talking shit about people with disabilities? wow, it's too bad this website doesn't have an "ignore user" feature.

[Edited on November 29, 2009 at 10:02 AM. Reason : []

11/29/2009 10:00:18 AM

Quote :

"i would have facepalmed"

I would have been embarrassed to give such a condescending response to my own father

11/29/2009 10:03:02 AM

^ didn't you hear? breaking news just released in the latest scientific journals finds that kids are 100x smarter than their parents!!

there's no reason to be embarrassed about science

[Edited on November 29, 2009 at 10:28 AM. Reason : s]

11/29/2009 10:28:14 AM

^ I wonder if you actually read the thread.

11/29/2009 10:35:49 AM

Quote :

" My dad needs to know that HIV isn't primarily spread by homosexuals anymore, and hasn't for a pretty sizable amount of time. We had this discussion three years ago, then it came up again this weekend, and I Google'd it for him. I still think he denies it, as if it was some cover-up." "

You're the dumbass in this situation. Your father is dead on.

2008 Statistics

Quote :

"Male-to-male sexual contact 16,749 - 16,749 Injection drug use 3,750 2,260 6,010 Male-to-male sexual contact and injection drug use 1,664 - 1,664 High-risk heterosexual contact* 4,011 7,100 11,111 Other** 181 220 401 "

To Date:

Quote :

"Male-to-male sexual contact 487,695 - 487,695 Injection drug use 175,704 80,155 255,859 Male-to-male sexual contact and injection drug use 71,242 - 71,242 High-risk heterosexual contact** 63,927 112,230 176,157 Other*** 12,108 6,158 18,266 "

Don't be part of the conspiracy to prevent people from admitting who really gets that disease.


http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/surveillance/basic.htm#exposure

11/29/2009 10:41:12 AM

^ its just a statistics game. don't engage him... He's talking about the worldwide population (because he's smurt and knows how to cherry pick the numbers that support whatever dumbass opinion he's got... wait, I mean, he knows how to regurgitate talking points)

[Edited on November 29, 2009 at 10:46 AM. Reason : s]

11/29/2009 10:45:09 AM

Quote :

"so, you are ok with people making racist comments and talking shit about people with disabilities? wow, it's too bad this website doesn't have an "ignore user" feature."

too bad this site does have such a feature. OMG, UR TEH IDIOT!

11/29/2009 10:45:31 AM

^^too bad there are no real worldwide statistics. also, it's believed that high-risk heterosexual behavior is overreported because people view sex with a prostitute as being less frowned upon than gay sex and IV drug use.

11/29/2009 11:10:48 AM

who need real or accurate statistics when you're pushing a political ideology and feeling smug around your "stupid" parents?

11/29/2009 11:14:21 AM

LOL @ this thread

11/29/2009 11:19:51 AM