Examples of how this thread will work:

The Sammy Sosa Denny's commercial "Don't feel bad Tony (Gwynn) I got traded for Wade Boggs and a side of rice pilaf"... haha

Warrick Dunn pumping the launch of ESPN the magazine "I know one thing, I aint never doing cat fancy again"

Kevin Mitchell... where to begin... he got hurt trying to pop a wheelie on an exercise bike. He decapitated his girlfriends cat while Dwight Gooden was smoking crack in the room... he didnt wear a cup because they "didnt make one big enough for his junk", broke a tooth on a frozen donut, got hurt puking because he drank too much the night before.... couldnt run 100 yards in spring training.... i cant even remmeber them all

THe baseball player who went in the clubhouse during the middle innings to destroy the buffet and got called up to pinch hit. he hid the hotdogs in his uniform so the manager wouldnt scream at him for sneaking off. Gets a hit in the gap (back when everyone hit .240) has to leg it out for two and slide headfirst into 2nd to beat the throw. Stands up with mustard and relish stains all over him haha...

Okay I set the tone, dont wanna blow my wad too early

1/25/2010 11:31:09 PM

Warren Sapp being known better for Dancing with the Stars than playing football

1/26/2010 9:17:08 AM

i guess it depends on the audience. I had no idea he was ever on dancing with the stars

1/26/2010 9:18:54 AM

jose lind arrested for driving around in only a shirt

who would know sapp for dwts more than football? a girl born in 1995?

1/26/2010 9:22:17 AM

Ozzie Guillen french kissing his son after winning the World Series

1/26/2010 9:27:02 AM

Dammit100's constant jokes about riding shotgun with Dany Heatley

1/26/2010 9:28:54 AM

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT

AND TO THOSE WHO SPEAK SPANISH

1/26/2010 9:30:24 AM

This seems to be mainly about baseball.

John Smoltz getting burned while ironing his shirt while wearing it. He had to be drunk or something.

1/26/2010 9:30:52 AM

Scott van Pelt giving Lebron the ol' computer desk switch-a-roo

1/26/2010 9:33:45 AM

I just can't let Mr. Najeh Davenport not be in the first ten posts of this thread

1/26/2010 9:35:13 AM

I like the Favre Sears commercial where the guy is like "So you'll take it?" and Favre is like "yeah.........I dont know"

1/26/2010 9:35:27 AM

Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk

1/26/2010 9:39:28 AM

That video game Shaq-Fu

and any movie that Shaq has ever been in for the hilarity of how horrible they were.

1/26/2010 9:59:03 AM

Quote :

"In 2006, Griffin was involved a car accident in which he rammed his SUV into a parked car. He was allegedly watching pornographic videos and masturbating at the time of the incident. This came shortly after a stop-off at a nearby convenience store where a security video tape caught Griffin professing his intoxication."

Eddie Griffin...this is pretty hilarious, and indirectly tied to sports. RIP eddie.

[Edited on January 26, 2010 at 10:01 AM. Reason : .]

1/26/2010 10:00:09 AM

Practically anything Ricky Henderson did/does.

John Smoltz trying to iron a shirt while wearing said shirt.*

Quote :

"FAT LITTLE GIRLFRIENDS"

[Edited on January 26, 2010 at 10:04 AM. Reason : *Smoltz repeat]

1/26/2010 10:03:47 AM

Jose Maria Olazabal withdrew from a tourney after getting angry in his hotel room, punched a wall, and broke his hand.

1/26/2010 10:25:25 AM

Quote :

"Dammit100's constant jokes about riding shotgun with Dany Heatley"

A consistent source of lols.

1/26/2010 10:38:43 AM

bo diaz and his satellite dish

1/26/2010 12:27:49 PM

^^thanks. I keep it classy

1/26/2010 6:46:01 PM

when balls hit birds and they fall to the ground making the outfielder confused

1/26/2010 7:06:14 PM

fat little girlfriends might be one of the funniest things ever

1/26/2010 7:10:41 PM

Najeh Davenport

Quote :

"Prior to entering the NFL, Davenport allegedly broke into the dorm room of a Barry University woman, pulled down his pants and defecated in a laundry basket on April 1, 2002. After joining the Packers, Davenport was given the nickname "Deuce". With the Steelers, Davenport was given the nicknames "Dookie"[7]and "The Dump Truck,"[8]all are plays on the Barry University incident."

[Edited on January 26, 2010 at 7:16 PM. Reason : f]

1/26/2010 7:15:09 PM

Haha I think riley skinner and greg oden now qualify.


And definitely visanthe shiancoe.

This thread needed a little more penis

1/27/2010 9:59:12 AM

Jim Rome and Jim "Chris" Everett. I wish Everett would have actually beat his ass.

1/27/2010 10:13:21 AM

marcus hudson getting arrested for stealing an all campus card and looting a vending machine with it

1/27/2010 10:18:20 AM

Moises Alou falls off a treadmill in spring training and missing almost the entire season, then getting ready to come back in August or so, but then he was riding a bike and ran over his kid, re-injuring his knee and ending up missing the entire year after all.



[Edited on January 27, 2010 at 10:32 AM. Reason : x]

1/27/2010 10:25:27 AM

Quote :

"Warrick Dunn pumping the launch of ESPN the magazine "I know one thing, I aint never doing cat fancy again" "

this was good.

1/27/2010 10:44:18 AM

Jeff Kent not knowing how to wash a vehicle

1/27/2010 11:01:20 AM

^^The espn fantasy football ad he was in was good too...With Mike "the touchdown vulture" Alstott.

[Edited on January 27, 2010 at 11:03 AM. Reason : .]

1/27/2010 11:03:05 AM

^^ Jeff Kent's mustache qualifies for this thread too.



[Edited on January 27, 2010 at 11:03 AM. Reason : d]

1/27/2010 11:03:24 AM

1/27/2010 12:16:20 PM

Ha. Thanks for that, never heard it before:

Quote :

"On August 7, 1968, Brown made history. He wasn't in the starting lineup, so he decided to grab two hot dogs from the clubhouse. He was ordered by manager Mayo Smith to pinch hit. He stuffed the hot dogs in his jersey to hide them from his manager. "I always wanted to get a hit every time I went to the plate. But this was one time I didn't want to get a hit. I'll be damned if I didn't smack one in the gap and I had to slide into second—head first, no less. I was safe with a double. But when I stood up, I had mustard and ketchup and smashed hot dogs and buns all over me. "The fielders took one look at me, turned their backs and damned near busted a gut laughing at me. My teammates in the dugout went crazy." After fining Brown $100, Smith said, "What the hell were you doing eating on the bench in the first place?" Brown: "I decided to tell him the truth. I said, 'I was hungry. Besides, where else can you eat a hot dog and have the best seat in the house'""

1/27/2010 12:45:20 PM

Stuart Scott thought he was too cool for school, and now his left eye is

1/27/2010 5:28:44 PM

^^ I'm pretty sure that passage is from the book I read as a kid about it. Probably read that book 20 years ago but it seems word for word how I recited it almost.


How about South Carolina wins the ACC tournament in a super lengthy game (OT i think) and the network is completely out of time slot so they cut away from the game and skip net cutting, postgame celebration, etc. SC fans raise an enormous fit about being disrespected (always had a chip on their shoulder).

So the next year the network buys a shitload of time so the problem doesn't happen again. This year the game is super short (UNC wins i believe)and they completely run out of things to talk about. The entire stadium is empty and this is before they had cutaways and booths to swing it back to really. So they end the broadcast interviewing a fucking janitor cleaning an empty arena. I think they said they started dimming the spotlight on him sweeping popcorn haha.

1/27/2010 7:37:53 PM

I didn't even realize the ACC tournament was televised 40 years ago

1/27/2010 7:46:22 PM

Quote :

"During a game, Maddux appeared uncomfortable on the mound, leading Grace to think he might have pulled his groin. Upon going to the mound, Grace realized that Maddux was actually noticeably aroused, and remarked: "(laughing) Dude, you love to pitch, don't you?!"

1/27/2010 7:49:32 PM

Quote :

"Wade Boggs would go out on the town and regularly drink anywhere between 30 and 70 Miller Lites. In one of the most widely circulated Boggs tales, Wade drank 64 Miller Lites on a cross-country flight (either New York to Seattle, or Boston to LA, depending on the report)."

Also, Sammy Sosa claiming he threw out his back sneezing.

1/27/2010 7:59:46 PM

2nd string fat kid on my lacrosse team in HS told the coaches he couldn't do line drills because:

Quote :

"i dried out my back muscles when i was blow drying my hair last night"

1/28/2010 12:20:36 AM

haha

1/28/2010 1:09:51 AM

LOL. Ball down, fatso. Release, fatso.

1/28/2010 1:53:45 AM

I was always a fan of Pedro Martinez's rant on Karim Garcia


Who are you, Karim Garcia, to think I'd waste a pitch on you?

1/28/2010 3:11:07 AM

Pedro's dwarf

1/28/2010 4:33:01 AM

The Greg Maddux/Tom Glavine/Mark McGwire, chicks dig the homerun ball commercial.

1/28/2010 8:09:36 AM

this is a great thread.

Shaq is a constant source of entertainment. Remember the Shaq Pack at Burger King? You got a Whopper and fries with cheese sauce, which was apparently Shaq's favorite meal.

Shaq-Fu

Shaq and the Fu-Shinickens (sp?)

KAZAAM (which is what I used to call Kazaa)

Shaq as an undercover cop in Miami

Every Shaq Pepsi commercial made before he left the Magic

1/28/2010 12:33:57 PM

Quote :

"Shaq as an undercover cop in Miami"

hahahaha i forgot about this.

also related to shaq:

Quote :

"...we all win... and none of that other s**t even matters.......pardon my freakin' french"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWqPnEGzfK8

[Edited on January 28, 2010 at 1:18 PM. Reason : ]

1/28/2010 1:15:28 PM

Quote :

"Shaq is a constant source of entertainment. Remember the Shaq Pack at Burger King? You got a Whopper and fries with cheese sauce, which was apparently Shaq's favorite meal."

I'm pretty sure that was a burger on sourdough bread with bacon and monterey jack or something like that. That cheese sauce was ca$h, though.

1/28/2010 3:40:22 PM

You're right! I remember the commercial had Issac Hayes on it and I do remember him singing "who's the man wants his burger on sourdough? SHAQ!" like the Shaft song.

1/28/2010 5:12:19 PM

Quote :

"Dammit100's constant jokes about riding shotgun with Dany Heatley"

1/28/2010 5:38:17 PM

when Karl beanie babies Malone had an existential crisis and played State Trooper for a day

1/28/2010 5:44:05 PM

Shaq's rap a few years ago when he calls out kobe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eLJ65x0mbv0

1/28/2010 5:50:23 PM