When old people are in line at the checkout counter at the supermarket moving really, really slowly and I find myself thinking they should just stick to K&S Cafeteria

7/23/2010 1:59:21 PM

K&S sucks

K&W is where it's at

7/23/2010 2:00:05 PM

When I used to euthanize animals.

Follow-up: I felt especially bad when I had a particularly nasty animal to deal with and would think, "Yeah keep acting that way, you're on your way to death "

[Edited on July 23, 2010 at 2:02 PM. Reason : .]

7/23/2010 2:01:56 PM

Being sarcastic to my customers when they ask me "Do you have New York Style pizza" when we're in Virginia beach.

Or when they ask if I have Philly steak and cheeses when I'm in Virginia Beach.


The answer is No, we have Virginia Beach Style Pizza and Virginia Beach steak and cheeses. That's what you get for being in Virginia Beach. If you want a Philly steak and cheese, go to Philly. If you want New York pizza, go to New York.

7/23/2010 2:02:07 PM

going into the gym the other day, tried to hold the door for a kid and he just stood there, oblivious

i let it go when he didn't take it and didn't look back

i'm sure his parent who was walking up gave me the stink eye

7/23/2010 2:03:56 PM

when a baby is screaming at work and I want it to choke on its food.

[Edited on July 23, 2010 at 2:09 PM. Reason : .]

7/23/2010 2:05:29 PM

when i hear teenage mothers complaining that they have no life

i snicker

7/23/2010 2:09:04 PM

^ me too

and then I think, "Maybe you should've kept your fuckin legs shut"

7/23/2010 2:09:37 PM

When I say I am going to be somewhere and then something comes up that means I probably won't make it.

7/23/2010 2:10:29 PM

Quote :

"when a baby is screaming at work and I want it to choke on it's food."

I, too, wish to be suffocated by a large breast.

7/23/2010 2:10:49 PM

when i frequent the local rest home to collect birthday money from other people's grandparents

7/23/2010 2:11:18 PM

whatever shuts the little bastards up!

7/23/2010 2:11:30 PM

7/23/2010 2:11:30 PM

when i see my neighbors taking their dog out and they stand there like, "hurry the fuck up and take a shit so I can clean your shit up with my hand in this plastic bag"

and the dog is all like, "durrrrrrrrrr"

i LOL

7/23/2010 2:12:02 PM

when I judge fat people for not losing weight.

7/23/2010 2:12:51 PM

^ or when I see them with a shopping cart full of crap and think "no wonder"

7/23/2010 2:13:57 PM

when I see guys holding their gf's purse or sitting outside dressing rooms all

I LOL

7/23/2010 2:15:38 PM

when my students do significantly worse on the coursewide final exams than students from other sections

this happens every semester, and I can no longer pretend it is a coincidence

pretty much everybody in my department is passionate about teaching except me

this, too, makes me feel like a bad person...as if I don't like kittens or something

7/23/2010 2:15:52 PM

when I would see skateboarders hit a brick on campus then go flying, I would LOL

7/23/2010 2:16:26 PM

When I want a friend to break up with their SO because they aren't right for each other and everyone seems to know it except them

7/23/2010 2:18:32 PM

when ppl on defense complain that i run too much

7/23/2010 2:18:57 PM

^
<3 when I have a big out-of-shape dude guarding me in a full-court game

I just make him run around in circles, almost for fun

7/23/2010 2:25:19 PM

Raising prices.

7/23/2010 2:27:51 PM

Quote :

"When I want a friend to break up with their SO because they aren't right for each other and everyone seems to know it except them they're the most annoying couple on the planet"

7/23/2010 2:36:02 PM

when I get annoyed with guest at work only to find out they are mentally challenged.

7/23/2010 2:51:35 PM

when i make a creepy collage of tww girls and all of tww turns on me

7/23/2010 2:53:32 PM

When I "accidentally" slip it in a girl's butt and then tell her to "just go with it".

7/23/2010 7:54:31 PM

The way I drive when people piss me off.

7/23/2010 7:56:21 PM

Letting one rip in my office and then someone walks in.

7/23/2010 8:06:44 PM

Trying to decide what to do with the bodies I've aquired over the years. Always a hard decision.

7/23/2010 8:11:58 PM

Barbie dolls don't count as "bodies."

7/23/2010 8:12:45 PM

everything i think or do

7/23/2010 8:25:09 PM

when i intentionally drive on the sidewalk just to run over a homeless person

7/23/2010 8:26:42 PM

7/23/2010 9:01:22 PM

When people sit at green lights for more than 3 seconds.

For old people being old and slow and my urge to do anything I can to get around them.

For feeling the urge to laugh when people are rude.

7/23/2010 9:22:03 PM

When I get behind someone driving slow or just generally driving stupid, and then I see a handicap placard on the car. I usually think something along the lines of "yeah you really are handicapped." I sorta feel bad.

7/24/2010 1:26:42 AM