...and it was the saddest thing ever.


I got super drunk at a bar. By myself. I was supposed to meet the girl I am in love with there, but she texted me and said she couldn't make it. I ended up telling my sob story to the hot bartender (who I know in passing but not really well) and she proceeded to pour me shot after shot (for free) until I could barely stand. The bar closed and she walked (carried) me to my car, but then realized I was in no shape to drive. She said I could stay at her place.

So we are sitting on her couch at 3am chatting. We were sitting really close and I am spilling my guts about this other girl to her. She reaches down and starts rubbing my dick. I get hard and start to freak out a little bit. She just tells my to relax as she gets on her knees between my legs. I said, "Stop. What would {other girls name} think?" Before I could finish, she had my fly down and my dick in her mouth. My head started spinning. I kept saying, "This is bad. This is bad."

A minute later and I am instinctively humping her mouth along with the rhythm of her head bobbing. Not too long after, I pushed her face off my dick and came hard. All in her hair and a little in her eye. She knelt there, stunned and completely motionless. I immediately apologize and try to wipe it out of her eye with my shirt. Then I just started to cry. Sobbing actually. She ran to the bathroom to clean up and I am still on the couch, crying with my limp dick still out, saying stuff like "Please don't ever tell { other girl's name}. This was a bad idea. We shouldn't have done this." From the bathroom she said that she thinks I should just go. I let myself out and lock the door on the way out.


Does this count as rape since I said I didn't want to? Also, I think I could have also lost my virginity too if I didn't start crying. All in all, I count this night as a win for me.

8/2/2010 1:51:05 PM

Wow.

8/2/2010 1:52:41 PM

A+ would read again

8/2/2010 1:52:53 PM

O......K.......

8/2/2010 1:53:16 PM

I don't believe for a second that this is real.

8/2/2010 1:53:45 PM

k

8/2/2010 1:53:53 PM

I don't believe for a second that this is real.

8/2/2010 1:54:25 PM

man sucking this guy's dick sure would be the hell out of this sob story

8/2/2010 1:54:36 PM

where'd you get that story from?

also this was funny

Quote :

"She reaches down and starts rubbing my dick. I get hard and start to freak out a little bit."

8/2/2010 1:54:43 PM

I was expecting scat or dead cats in the story.

8/2/2010 1:56:50 PM

8/2/2010 1:57:44 PM

^ bwahahahaha

8/2/2010 2:00:46 PM

^^that's what I was expecting

8/2/2010 2:03:59 PM

[Edited on August 2, 2010 at 2:10 PM. Reason : .]

8/2/2010 2:04:47 PM

not real.

but if it was... FAIL.

8/2/2010 2:06:09 PM

I think I could have also lost my virginity too if I didn't start crying.

haha

8/2/2010 2:06:47 PM

Quote :

"I let myself out and lock the door on the way out."

wat

8/2/2010 2:14:35 PM

Locking door knob

8/2/2010 2:16:07 PM

Quote :

"man sucking this guy's dick sure would be the hell out of this sob story"

lol, it is an interesting tactic

8/2/2010 2:16:19 PM

yo holmes to bel-air

8/2/2010 2:18:04 PM

I realize this thread is about getting your first blowjob.....

8/2/2010 2:22:39 PM

^which you have not?

hahahaha

8/2/2010 2:27:20 PM

Well done sir.

8/2/2010 2:28:44 PM

lol arog!!!

8/2/2010 2:29:14 PM

I've considered crying to get out of a bad blow job, but never gotten one WHILE crying. That's a level of game that I just can't fathom.

8/2/2010 2:29:47 PM

Quote :

"I've considered crying to get out of a bad blow job,"

OIC

8/2/2010 2:32:14 PM

I feel like the story is mostly true and that Pikey is just writing she in place of he when telling it.

8/2/2010 2:34:43 PM

Quote :

"I've considered crying to get out of a bad blow job"

Get one toothy enough and you'll cry

8/2/2010 2:35:00 PM

I don't believe for a second that this is real.

8/2/2010 2:38:09 PM

[Edited on August 2, 2010 at 2:38 PM. Reason : wrong tabs]

8/2/2010 2:38:16 PM

^ Fail.

8/2/2010 2:39:52 PM

WIN!

8/2/2010 2:41:44 PM

You used the god damned quote tags, and then proceeded to call them "tabs."

8/2/2010 2:42:19 PM

9.5/10 thread. Will check again

8/2/2010 2:42:32 PM

I guess Ive never had a horrible bj, but Id imagine it would have to be god awful for me to cry to get out of it lol

8/2/2010 2:43:16 PM

tomayto, tomahto

8/2/2010 2:43:28 PM

teeth are the worst

8/2/2010 2:44:47 PM

It is all true I assure you.


So is it worth going back to the bar and trying to recreate the evening in hopes to pick up where we left off last? I am feeling a lot more confident about myself seeing how easy it was for it to happen. Are most girls so easily willing to so nonchalantly suck a guy's dick?

8/2/2010 2:51:50 PM

yes

8/2/2010 2:54:45 PM

8/2/2010 2:55:03 PM

8/2/2010 2:55:34 PM

OH HAI KC

8/2/2010 2:55:39 PM

jizzing in a broad's face is not a very good way to earn a repeat performance

8/2/2010 2:55:55 PM

Livinproof has made her living off of nonchalant dome

8/2/2010 2:57:38 PM

^^ unless she likes that sort of thing

8/2/2010 2:58:23 PM

i mean...i don't suck every dick that comes along...

but chances are....if i allow myself to get in the position where sex of any kind is a strong possibility then you'll get a bj...


it's just the courteous thing to do

[Edited on August 2, 2010 at 2:59 PM. Reason : ^ HAI TO YOU!]

8/2/2010 2:59:04 PM

actually i'm the one who went through this experience

8/2/2010 3:00:13 PM

^^^ but at the very least you have to give her the option and not just blast away

unless, of course, you WANT it to be a 1-time thing. in that case, hose a bitch down. or better yet, shoot down her throat

[Edited on August 2, 2010 at 3:01 PM. Reason : a]

8/2/2010 3:00:28 PM

Quote :

"but chances are....if i allow myself to get in the position where sex of any kind is a strong possibility then you'll get a bj... it's just the courteous thing to do"

holy shit

8/2/2010 3:05:02 PM

maybe you should talk to me more when we hang out

8/2/2010 3:06:39 PM