ok, i know i joke around on here a lot, but this is a serious lounge thread.

So this woman that i kinda dated (mostly just had sex) earlier this year has recently contacted me to offer me $2000 for my sperm. She's in her 30's and has wanted a baby for a couple of years. She went through a donor service which would cost her $2500, but she says she likes my genes. She also stated that a legal contract would be drawn granting me visitation at any time and absolutely no child support or any financial support of any kind. I still haven't decided if i can go through with it or not. Any advice?

8/27/2010 11:05:32 AM

i think it'd be fine to go through with it - as long as it's a legal contract written out and approved by a lawyer.

Would you want contact with the child though? I mean, as heartless as it sounds, she wants your sperm, not necessarily the father of the child....

8/27/2010 11:16:13 AM

Future epic thread.

Honestly I could never do this because I would want to support the child and be a father to him/her. Hopefully you get along great with this woman because if you go through with this, you will forever be connected to her and part of her life.

8/27/2010 11:18:12 AM

yeah, she just included that in case i wanted to. I guess that's where i'm stumped. I think i would want to see the child and that wouldn't be good because then the child would know i was the father and I would feel like a dead beat.

8/27/2010 11:18:21 AM

I would do it without the visitation part. I would donate my sperm to a sperm bank, so why not to an individual? I just wouldn't want any part in the child's life. I want kids on my own terms, but I wouldn't mind helping someone fulfill their own dreams. Plus I'd be flattered if they wanted my genes in their kid.

How often do you interact with this woman currently?? Does she live close to you? Do you run into her frequently?? I'd have a tough time if I knew I was going to run into the kid. I'd also be a little worried about the ulterior motives of this women since you use to sleep with her. Bitches be crazy...so be careful.

8/27/2010 11:20:22 AM

I wouldn't want to ever meet or even see pictures of the child. And $2000 seems a bit low.

And I know that no actual sex occurs in most situations like this, but since you've already banged, wouldn't it be easier to just bang again rather than do the while artificial insemination thing?

8/27/2010 11:20:24 AM

I think keeping updated on how s/he's doing and what not - not through contact though - would be best for both of you. He wouldn't feel like s/he was abandoned and you won't feel like you're being a failure by not being around.

It's on her to explain to her child, once it's old enough, how it came into the world. Plus, gives her the opportunity to meet someone and that child can think of that dude as their father - not you.

8/27/2010 11:21:40 AM

Question is would you do it if she didn't offer the money.
If the answer is yes go ahead.

8/27/2010 11:25:24 AM

I don't think you would regret not doing it, because she can always go to the sperm bank. She'll pretty much end up getting what she wants +/- $500

I would politely decline

8/27/2010 11:35:24 AM

my gym socks are worth MILLIONS!!!

8/27/2010 11:35:42 AM

http://www.nbc.com/The_Office/exclusives/dwight-angela-contract/

8/27/2010 11:56:21 AM

I'd decline. 8012 million things could change, and even with a 'legal document', you end up in court or otherwise besaddled with a headache you didn't think you were gonna end up with.

If she wants sperm, that's what a sperm bank is for.

8/27/2010 12:00:27 PM

Do not do this.

8/27/2010 12:05:00 PM

Give her a container with yogurt in it. Then you'll have two grand and she'll have a baby that's half-human, half-yogurt. I'm pretty sure that's how it works.

8/27/2010 12:13:31 PM

i'm not a guy but i don't think i could do that. i, too, would be worried about feeling like a dead beat or that the kid would feel like i'm a dead beat. the only way i would consider it is if she lives somewhere realllyyyy far away so there's no chance i'd see the kid by accident, or if i'm $2000 from living on the streets or starving. i'm still pretty sure i wouldn't do it.

8/27/2010 12:14:25 PM

Quote :

"but since you've already banged, wouldn't it be easier to just bang again rather than do the while artificial insemination thing?"

If she's in her 30s, especially late-30s, it maybe be difficult or even impossible for her to get pregnant through sex. IVF may be her best choice.

Also:

Quote :

"Agreement Absolving Donor of Financial Responsibilty Not Enforcable A sperm donor, with the equivalent of a prenuptial agreement, has been ordered to pay child support, by a New Mexico Court of Appeal, after an eight year court battle. The judge in the case said that the pre-existing agreement between the sperm donor and the mother of two children resulting from the artificial inseminations is not valid in their circumstances, as the sperm donor took an active role in parenting. The donor was friends with the mother, and was allowed to become involved in the children's lives, and a visitation schedule was even established. However when the father began to make demands, including where the children live, the mother decided to have his role defined legally, and also address the question of child support. The man's lawyer said his client should not be responsible for child support because his client is a sperm donor. However, the court ruled that the agreements absolving the sperm donor of any responsibility to pay are not enforceable. Legal experts agree that cases like this are becoming more common, and the courts are trending in this direction. Further, anonymous donors may also be liable for child support, if it is deemed to be in the best interest of the child. For example, records may be unsealed in critical medical situations. And, in extreme cases where the mother becomes too sick to look after the child, she may want to seek out the anonymous donor for financial support. "

[Edited on August 27, 2010 at 12:25 PM. Reason : fyi]

8/27/2010 12:23:20 PM

JUST SAY NO

too many implications and emotional attachments...you to the child...she to the you, etc etc....even if everything is legally drawn out, there could be some loophole and you'll end up being drawn into child support or she'll always have the 'connection' to you and hang it over your head

8/27/2010 12:24:35 PM

Quote :

"I'd decline. 8012 million things could change, and even with a 'legal document', you end up in court or otherwise besaddled with a headache you didn't think you were gonna end up with. If she wants sperm, that's what a sperm bank is for. "

plus if she's in her mid to late 30s, there's an elevated chance of complications such as down syndrome among others. I wouldn't want any part of it.

8/27/2010 12:26:43 PM

Also, "I like your genes" sounds a lot like "I think I could rope you into being an actual father and marrying me, if I had your baby".

She doesn't know shit about your genes.

8/27/2010 12:26:57 PM

If you have no problem with the kid searching for you / showing up at your house in about 20 years, then go for it

8/27/2010 12:31:30 PM

Quote :

"Also, "I like your genes" sounds a lot like "I think I could rope you into being an actual father and marrying me, if I had your baby"."

i am curious too what makes your genes extraordinary.....unless you are like the smartest, richest, most handsome guy on earth.......in which case i would say she's after you and not a kid...

8/27/2010 12:33:07 PM

Yeaaaaaah...don't do it

8/27/2010 12:34:29 PM

note the year: it is 2010

And I'm in on page 1

8/27/2010 12:40:19 PM

If I could find that gif of Snoop Dogg shaking his head "no", I would post it here.

8/27/2010 12:41:59 PM

Consult a lawyer.

8/27/2010 12:43:39 PM

Quote :

"Also, "I like your genes" sounds a lot like "I think I could rope you into being an actual father and marrying me, if I had your baby". She doesn't know shit about your genes."

Dude I'd be like 10 grand. 2 g is nothing these days.

8/27/2010 1:00:10 PM

$2 Grand to jerk off seems pretty good to me, considering that I do it for free several times a week.

Even better deal if you actually get to fuck her

[Edited on August 27, 2010 at 1:03 PM. Reason : a]

8/27/2010 1:03:19 PM

Quote :

"I think keeping updated on how s/he's doing and what not - not through contact though - would be best for both of you. He wouldn't feel like s/he was abandoned and you won't feel like you're being a failure by not being around. "

Not even this.

If you do, you need to agree to no contact. No updates. Nothing. You need to get a hold of one of those Men In Black things and make sure you that woman erases you from her memory.

Then do it and collect 2 grand (although I would try and get a little more out of it).

8/27/2010 1:09:26 PM

- No sex. Give her the sperm in a plastic cup. The less emotional attachment this starts with, the better. Either you are having a baby that you will raise with this woman or you are just donating some DNA. Don't confuse the two and try to find a middle ground.

- You should ask for at least $2500. Does she really want your genes or does she want to save $500 and have a possible source of child support?

- Ask yourself - do you want to have to explain to any future girlfriend/wife of yours that somewhere out there is another woman with your kid? Obviously this would be something important enough to have to explain before marriage - do you think it would be a burden for your own future relationships?

- NIGHTMARE SCENARIO: The mother is a mad scientist and takes your sperm, using it to create a human/alien splice that feels the need to settle its daddy issues with a venomous hunger for flesh. The child is born with health issues that the mother can't pay for and guilts you into supporting both of them. (or gets a court order)

8/27/2010 1:30:20 PM

in theory: no big deal, do it

in reality: bad idea, don't do it

8/27/2010 1:36:37 PM

... and whats to stop you from demanding 20k and then providing her with the sperm of a korean octogenarian?

8/27/2010 1:36:59 PM

one of my friends said to give her dog sperm haha


and thanks for all your advice, you guys have brought up things i needed to hear. No, i'm not handsome, rich, or a genius, so i don't get why she picked me either.

8/27/2010 1:44:50 PM

Instead of paying you for your sperm, we not have her pay you to have actual sex and impregnate her? I mean you've already been banging and she said she likes your genes.

Selling your sperm just seems a little impersonal to me.

8/27/2010 1:46:40 PM

thats WAY low

think about how expensive some puppies are

I'm AstralAdvent and i approved this message.

8/27/2010 1:46:41 PM

What if this kid ends up being some millionaire athlete, or president, or saves the human race from SkyNET?

You'd want to be in their life then and a few years of awkwardness will all be worth it.

8/27/2010 1:50:21 PM

she loves the way you host trivia. Worthy of birthing a child.



Go for it. You only live once man, have some kids and enjoy life.

8/27/2010 3:57:55 PM

i think she is already preggos with your baby...this is just making sure you dont take away the baby from her!

8/27/2010 4:03:37 PM

If you are in a position where you will not want for offspring, then hell no, don't do it. Raise your own kids, send her to the sperm bank.

But, if you don't want to raise children yourself, then this might be a good way to reproduce without the headache.

8/27/2010 4:09:35 PM

Quote :

"No, i'm not handsome, rich, or a genius, so i don't get why she picked me either."

um... because she cray cray?

seriously, dude, and this is no way a criticism of you.

women who have seriously considered all the issues and potential consequences of single mother IVF, are not going to get some random hookup's sperm becasue she "likes his genes". did she do a genetic assay on your DNA? there's a lot of counseling and real medical testing that goes on before a woman gets IVF.

what she wants is for you to get her pregnant then she can (so she assumes) pull you into being a daddy.

do not.

i repeat, do not make a baby with some nutty bitch whose biological clock is ticking so loud she can't think straight. you will be bringing a human child into a seriously unhealthy enviroment.

if you really have the need to sell yourself for $2000, go fuck 4 homosexuals from Craigslist already.










[Edited on August 27, 2010 at 4:49 PM. Reason : oh, i thought you were a 20 yr old twink. Now i see your pics, it might have to be 8 or 10 homos...]

8/27/2010 4:43:29 PM

ill just give you a cup of mine. im sure i already have kids running around somewhere, whats a few more

8/27/2010 4:51:21 PM

Quote :

"She doesn't know shit about your genes."

QFT. Unless you have gone through multiple genetic tests confirming you're not a carrier for such and such, etc, she has no clue what your genes may hold. This sounds like the woman is crazy. Not to mention, in the grand scheme of IVF, another $500 is chump change. There seems to be some ulterior motives here...

8/27/2010 5:17:17 PM

i agree w/ sam.

8/27/2010 5:24:52 PM

Quote :

"i repeat, do not make a baby with some nutty bitch whose biological clock is ticking so loud she can't think straight."

And +1 for sam...and so many other comments ITT.

8/27/2010 5:36:35 PM

I think this is a bad, bad idea.

It's not like a sperm bank, because she knows you. That makes it fundamentally impossible for it to be like a sperm bank.

I think you're dead on about it not being good for the kid to know you, meet you, etc, but you not really be a father to him/her. I also think that it's not really likely that this will be avoided (you will rightfully want to have contact with the child, or the child will, at some point, rightfully want to have contact with you, because he/she'll likely eventually find out the story--see point #1.)

$2000 is not even close to enough money to change your life (even if this strictly boiled down to dollars and cents). The long-term outcomes of this very well could, though.


Finally, drafted by lawyer or not, there's no guarantee that some judge won't overturn all or parts of it on a whim. Shit happens with pre-nups all the time. At the very least, you could spend thousands of dollars just to fight to uphold the contract if she decides down the road to contest any of it (you may or may not be able to successfully recoup legal expenses from her if that happens).

8/27/2010 5:47:54 PM

Bad idea.

8/27/2010 6:14:49 PM

The more I think about this, the more bad reasons I come up with.

Such as... with a sperm bank, like others have mentioned, it's (mostly) anonymous. This is an important factor not only from the kid standpoint, but during the IVF process as well. A lot of the time, IVF does not go smoothly and the couple (or single mom) can find out that either the sperm or the egg is a problem and therefore you can't make a zygote that would survive. What if this would happen to her and she gets angry because of it? She will be able to find you, and from the sounds of it, she doesn't seem completely stable. Or, if you want to look down the route of her actually being able to carry the child... What if the child has a random birth defect, or turns out to have a chromosomal abnormality due to her age, or is a still born, or she miscarries? Who's to say she doesn't take out her anger and sadness out on you?

8/27/2010 6:22:30 PM

I don't think this is a good idea. If she's already trying to find less expensive ways to have a child, you have to wonder if down the road she'll be knocking on your door asking for money. Or even worse what if she gets into a situation where she can't raise the child and tries to hand it off to you.

Also like others have stated, what if the child's health isn't great and there's extra medical bills? It would be all to easy for her to bring you to court and try to fight for support because you "gave" her a child in ill health.

And then there the chance that someday you want to be a part of the kid's life and she doesn't want that. You'd be heartbroken knowing you have a child out there and you can't be there for them.

8/27/2010 6:26:12 PM

Forget fears about health. That's so random. The main reason this is a bad idea, is that this woman is nutty and/or scheming and has some hidden agenda that will wind up permanently changing all of your life's plans.

IVF doesn't work like the way you and her seem to imagine it. If she wants IVF, she can go to the fertility clinic. If you want to have a baby, then bust a nut up in her and make a baby. If you want to be a whore, get on Craigslist.




[Edited on August 27, 2010 at 6:52 PM. Reason : ]

8/27/2010 6:46:59 PM

Fears of health are not random if she's in her late 30's and would therefore be of advanced maternal age..

8/27/2010 6:56:14 PM

Why would she want a child with a poopface?

I wouldn't do it.

8/27/2010 7:03:40 PM