I moved into a new place in August, and my new roommate asked if I could put the cable/internet under my name and I had no problem with doing that, beyond the fact that it costs us $120 per month (only comcast provides to our street, we can't get cable anywhere else and it makes sense to bundle the internet).

I agreed to getting cable before I knew what my work schedule was going to be, and now I'm never home when the shows I watch are on and I end up watching everything online. The third roommate didn't move in until a month later, and she just doesn't ever watch TV period, had no say in whether we got cable or not, and is yet being forced to pay an equal share of the bill.

The newer roommate and I both want to get rid of the cable and switch our internet to a different provider. There's no reason why we should be paying that much for something we never use. But the roommate who does watch TV...and watches non-stop and never lets us change the channel...is a spoiled little brat who is going to flip a shit when we tell her we want to cancel the cable.

What is the best way to tell her? I'm thinking it should be an e-mail over winter break so she won't be able to scream at us on the spot and can have some time to cool off before she sees us again. Thoughts?

12/14/2010 4:32:24 PM

This is not difficult. Tell her that you two have no need for cable, and want to disconnect. You should offer to keep it, and pay significantly less than pro rata, or disconnect it and let her handle getting it back if she wants it that badly. Not contributing at all will not work out, as you will want to use the TV from time to time, and if I were her and was paying the entire bill, I'd probably turn the TV off on you.

[Edited on December 14, 2010 at 4:40 PM. Reason : .]

12/14/2010 4:39:10 PM

Tell her to pay for it if she wants to keep it. 2>1 so she won't have any say in the matter.

Theres no need for emails and cool off periods.

12/14/2010 4:39:28 PM

This individual is a Long Island brat. she is used to kicking and screaming until she gets what she wants. I didn't get to watch Obama's national speech on the war a couple months ago because she didn't want to pause her DVD of Modern Family, even though she has a TV and a dvd player in her own room.

We've already had multiple issues. She didn't like the stuff the other roommate and I wanted to put on the walls in the common space, so she bought new stuff and expected us to help pay for it. The other roommate paid just to keep the peace, but I said no and she has hated me ever since.

She already makes my life hell, I can't imagine what she's going to do in retaliation to this.


We did gain knowledge recently that she is having an affair with a married man who is 15 years her elder...how do I use that to my advantage?

[Edited on December 14, 2010 at 4:48 PM. Reason : -]

12/14/2010 4:47:33 PM

So basically you are going to do what you suggested rather than listening to the advice anyone gives you in the thread you made asking for advice?

Don't give in to her BS. Don't care if she throws a fit. But it's passive and juvenile to tell her in an e-mail because you are afraid she won't like you even more than she already doesn't.

12/14/2010 4:51:35 PM

Tell her you no longer want cable and that you are canceling it. Offer her the option of having it changed to her name or she can deal with setting up the TV on her own. It doesn't matter if she throws a fit. You still cancel the service.

But, like CarZin said, don't ever expect to be able to watch TV in the common area again. If she's a brat like you say she is, expect her to rage on you if you do watch TV in there.

12/14/2010 4:52:18 PM

Quote :

"wolfpackjew"

lol

12/14/2010 4:54:40 PM

It's in YOUR name. Cancel the shit and let her do it herself if she wants.

12/14/2010 4:55:13 PM

who is the lease under? You might want to consider kicking her out after whatever agreement is done with.

12/14/2010 5:04:12 PM

Don't start drama with the affair business. Just do what everyone is saying. If 2 of you don't want TV, then cancel it and tell the other roommate that it's too expensive and you don't ever watch it anyway. If she's that much of a brat, though, she won't *get it* and will complain to daddy.

Either way, high school drama bs remains there. I'm SO GLAD I'm out of the roommate situation. Be the adult here, be up front, and she can always buy her own tv package.

Personally, I'd just hook up Netflix (assuming you have Xbox) and get a cheap tv for your room Tough it out until you can sublease or until the lease expires.

Good Luck!

12/14/2010 5:04:40 PM

A dude should never live with two chicks unless he's banging one of them...preferably both.

12/14/2010 5:04:50 PM

^.

12/14/2010 5:07:56 PM

I thought bdmazur was a girl with the level of passive aggressive drama llama he was displaying in the thread

12/14/2010 5:10:35 PM

All three of us are on the lease. She has already lived there for a couple years, but she has no more right than I do to any of the space beyond her own room. But she certainly acts like she owns the place.

I'll tell her that both of us don't want it, we'll see how it goes.

I absolutely love this apartment. Its the second level of a 3-story house, with a wonderful view, 5 minute walk from 3 different subway lines, and in a nice neighborhood (aside from the obnoxious BC students but I've learned not to be home Saturday nights, my girlfriend lives in the suburbs so I take full advantage of that). I want to live in the same house next year but there's no way either of us will agree to live with the other for another year. The landlord likes me a lot better, he and his wife have even invited me over for dinner a few times, so I'm sure he would have no problem letting me renew early and telling her to get lost come the summertime.

^Being concerned about her messing with me and/or my stuff is different than being passive agressive. Last time we had a disagreement I woke up the next morning and the glass on both sides of my car's sideview mirrors was broken. I have no hard evidence but she's more than hinted at the fact that she did it.

[Edited on December 14, 2010 at 5:18 PM. Reason : -]

12/14/2010 5:13:39 PM

kick that bitch right in her ovaries.

But seriously, just cancel it and go from there. if she wants cable bad enough, she can just get it in her name with one box in her room and the other two pay a prorated portion for internet/basic...especially if its 2:1

You are in the position of power here, not her.

12/14/2010 5:19:00 PM

^^ I was referring more to the fact you wanted to bring up her sexual activities in a fight over TV.

12/14/2010 5:20:41 PM

^I wasn't serious about that, I just find it funny. She tries to give our other roommate, who is a very polite and quiet Christian girl, relationship advice. I get to hear it on the other end later as "what gives her the right to talk to me like that when she obviously doesn't know what a stable relationship is?"

this older dude already initiated a divorce, but he should be spending time with his kids instead of coming over almost every night to bang a 25 year old bitchy JAP

12/14/2010 5:25:44 PM

If she is really as bratty and spoiled as you say, there is nothing you can do to appease her in this situation aside from continuing with the current cable/internet arrangement.

As others have said though, the adult thing to do here is simply cancel the cable, tell her in person, and ignore her hissy fits. If you are the sole account holder with comcast, she has NO say at all in whether or not you cancel it. If she wants it kept on, tell her to open her own account, and don't ever (and I mean EVER) watch anything on cable in that apartment. Not "don't get caught", just don't do it. If you won't pitch in for cable again, never use it again.

12/14/2010 5:33:03 PM

She sounds like she's hot, post pics.

And cancel that fucking cable. Man...the little vengeful shit I would do to get back at her. I can be petty about shit like this. It's quite sad...but I've had some bad roommate situations. I always come out smelling like roses.

12/14/2010 5:34:51 PM

Just take the high road and be mature. If she starts screaming or whatever, tell her you'll finish the conversation when she's calmed down. If she keeps it up just cancel the TV service and hang out on Netflix/Hulu for a while.

Also, who's TV is it in the living room?

12/14/2010 5:37:40 PM

sorry about your troubles. I've lived with lots of people over the years and ill just say you end up learning the hard way and not much else to it. I've had good and bad roommates, and the bad ones make you really appreciate the good ones. I've gone from being angry at roommates for not cleaning their messes up around the house to being thankful that they are just at least paying me rent.


i live by myself now. Haven't had roommate troubles since.

12/14/2010 5:42:39 PM

^ Truth. Best way to solve these troubles is to not have a roommate.

12/14/2010 5:45:38 PM

What I pay now in rent could have gotten me a 2 bedroom one bathroom to myself back in Raleigh...now I pay $700/month for just one room and sharing a bathroom with 2 other people

Her drunk friends have come in late at night and eaten my food, messed up the bathroom, broken cups...and she doesn't do a thing about it. I was in a rush and forgot to take the trash out ONCE and she yelled at me for a good 15 minutes about how irresponsible I am.

12/14/2010 6:46:37 PM

Within the first few minutes of meeting said roommate, she was able to diagnose the fact that you are a mark ass bitch, and has been taking advantage of you from the get go.

You would probably describe the same condition as being "a nice guy."

12/14/2010 7:48:30 PM

I'm sure someone has said this, but I didn't read the entire thread.

bdmazur is probably the difficult roommate.

12/14/2010 8:35:58 PM

^^^ So why didn't you just throw it back in her face that her friends have been fucking shit up, as well as bringing that problem up to her? Each time her friends fuck up something of yours, try giving it back a little. If you're not going to defend yourself and setup limits, she'll just walk over you and establish herself as in power. Knock her down a few pegs and get angry and call her out for being the bitch that she is (although, don't call her a bitch).

12/14/2010 8:44:43 PM

after reading the entire thread, i have come to this conclusion:

Quote :

"kick that bitch right in her ovaries."

(aside from cancelling cable)

12/14/2010 9:30:40 PM

Holy shit the OP needs to grow a set.

12/14/2010 9:49:09 PM

holy shit, I thought OP was a girl. Not to be rude about it, but you should seriously just man up and tell her what you really think. None of this email-confrontation or passive aggressive nonsense. If you keep it up, she WILL continue to walk all over you.

12/14/2010 10:31:35 PM

Put her in her place.

12/14/2010 10:33:21 PM

Quote :

"So why didn't you just throw it back in her face that her friends have been fucking shit up, as well as bringing that problem up to her? "

I confront her about it, but it never goes anywhere, just one shouting match after another. I don't know how to retaliate other than with words. And cancelling the cable.

12/14/2010 10:43:04 PM

FUCK THAT BITCH RIGHT HERE ON THE SPOT BARE TILL SHE PASSES OUT AND FORGETS HOW SHE GOT THERE

12/14/2010 10:56:31 PM

Quote :

"A dude should never live with two chicks unless he's banging one of them...preferably both."

I would just cancel the cable.

Hell I would cancel my own cable, but I live with two chicks (one of whom I am fucking) that shit would not fly at this house. The only shows I ever watch are first 48 and cops (both of which I can download). Fuck ATT uVerse for being $200 a month.


If you cancel it she has the option of signing up for TV and having it installed in her room ensuring that you guys do not use the TV she is paying for by herself, and ensuring that she will not hang out in the living room anymore.

12/14/2010 11:00:37 PM

Quote :

"Last time we had a disagreement I woke up the next morning and the glass on both sides of my car's sideview mirrors was broken."

If you seriously believe she did this then you should have moved out right then. One way or another, you're not getting out of this cheap or easy...but the least expensive and difficult way is just to move the fuck out and pay whatever fees you need to. I don't care if the building you live in is the fucking Biltmore Estate, you don't want to live there if living there means dealing with that.

She's secretly breaking parts of your car? You're not reasoning out of this. You're not having rational conversations. You're either capitulating or cutting your losses.

[Edited on December 15, 2010 at 2:33 AM. Reason : Of course, if you could prove she did it, you could just have her arrested and kicked out.]

12/15/2010 2:32:49 AM

Quote :

"She sounds like she's hot, post pics."

12/15/2010 2:37:46 AM

Quote :

"Last time we had a disagreement I woke up the next morning and the glass on both sides of my car's sideview mirrors was broken. I have no hard evidence but she's more than hinted at the fact that she did it."

Did you file a police report? Did you tell the cops who you thought did it (it's not like they broke into your car, and there's one person who has a motive)? If you didn't, you're a pussy. She did it because she's always been able to get away with and do whatever she wants. Get the cops on her ass a bit, and I doubt she will fuck with your car again. If you have a camera, you may want to try recording it in action from your bedroom window. It doesn't need some pro job.

12/15/2010 3:05:15 AM

Point is, she'll fuck with his shit again. Even if he catches her in the act, what does he get? Bills for repairs and the satisfaction of seeing her punished, maybe, if he's lucky. Hit the "eject" button. Get out now. It will only get worse.

12/15/2010 3:23:30 AM

ITT we find out bdmazur is a gigantic pussy.

Holy shit dude, man the fuck up. I've been in some bad roommate situations and none of them even come close to rivaling yours. Sounds like you're not good with confrontations, so maybe you should "rehearse" what you're going to say to her before the fight begins. And as gay as it sounds, you've already proved that she's more of a man than you, just write her out a detailed letter or email outlining all of your grievances. This works well because if you do it in person, after you air your first grievance, the shouting begins and you can't get to the other 100 things that piss you off about her. So if you're not there when she's reading the letter/email, then she has no one to yell at and might actually read the whole thing. It might not matter, but at least you'll have gotten it out there.

The ultimate "fuck you", would be to somehow get through to the end of the lease, and have the landlord's not renew hers and renew yours instead...and you can get some other people in there who will walk all over you.

[Edited on December 15, 2010 at 7:41 AM. Reason : .]

12/15/2010 7:40:46 AM

Quote :

"Within the first few minutes of meeting said roommate, she was able to diagnose the fact that you are a mark ass bitch, and has been taking advantage of you from the get go. You would probably describe the same condition as being "a nice guy.""

This is the fucking truth. Dude, (and I say that lightly) man the fuck up. And get your own damn place.

12/15/2010 7:48:04 AM

Quote :

"The ultimate "fuck you", would be to somehow get through to the end of the lease, and have the landlord's not renew hers and renew yours instead...and you can get some other people in there who will walk all over you."

12/15/2010 8:26:12 AM

If you really and truly believe that you are in the right when she starts yelling at you then you have to keep your cool. You can't escalate a shouting match with a woman by yelling back, it never works. You have to remain absolutely calm and speak as condescending as possible saying things like, "I'm sorry you feel the need to yell at me about this situation. I am not going to stoop to your level and continue shouting. Maybe you should go put on your big girl pants and find your inside voice, then we can speak like civilized adults about the matter. Your face looks fat when you're angry." As soon as you lose your cool, she has won.

[Edited on December 15, 2010 at 8:33 AM. Reason : also, pick up some zero deductible comprehensive on your car, it's cheap]

12/15/2010 8:29:22 AM

^

Methinks you've never dealt with an unreasonable woman...or a woman in general.

12/15/2010 8:37:31 AM

I would not hesitate for an instant to file a police report and tell them who had a motive if she ever touches your shit again. Might not get anything accomplished, but it might scare some sense into her. You probably think it's a bitch move on your part to talk to the police, but it's definitely not. She sounds out of control, and that's really the only course of action if she is breaking car windows.

The cable is in your name, so grow a set and cancel it if you have to. Give her the option to put it in her name to avoid disruption, and when she throws a fit, leave the apartment and immediately cancel it. Make sure you have the roommate's support, and definitely do not write a letter. What's the worst that could possibly happen? She throws a fit? There's all sorts of ways to calmly deal with that. Breaks your car windows? Atleast you have your dignity.

If your situation is really as bad as you say and you aren't going to do anything about it, you might as well find someone to take over your third of the lease and move out. There's always other places to live. If you remove this drama from your life, you'll be much happier.

^^ Don't do that. Treat people with respect, and if they can't return the favor, move on.

[Edited on December 15, 2010 at 9:01 AM. Reason : :]

12/15/2010 8:43:31 AM

^^

Methinks you've never won an argument with an unreasonable woman...or a woman in general.

12/15/2010 8:46:50 AM

You don't "win" any argument when nothing changes after the argument.

I'm sure you "win" a lot in life.

12/15/2010 9:24:15 AM

Quote :

""I'm sorry you feel the need to yell at me about this situation. I am not going to stoop to your level and continue shouting. Maybe you should go put on your big girl pants and find your inside voice, then we can speak like civilized adults about the matter. Your face looks fat when you're angry.""

FUCKING TERRIBLE idea.

Quote :

"Methinks you've never dealt with an unreasonable woman...or a woman in general."

Quote :

"^^ Don't do that. Treat people with respect, and if they can't return the favor, move on."

Quote :

"You don't "win" any argument when nothing changes after the argument."

Fully agreed.

12/15/2010 9:28:06 AM

Quote :

"There's no reason why we should be paying that much for something we never use. But the roommate who does watch TV...and watches non-stop and never lets us change the channel"

does not compute.

12/15/2010 9:32:09 AM

is this thread for real?



fucking grow a set.

12/15/2010 10:04:11 AM

I was half-joking about the fat face comment, but I would say it to her face if I knew it would get a rise out of her. I'm not sure how much you all have dealt with bratty bitches before but the reason why they yell is to piss you off and get you to yell back (they have perceived the win even if nothing has changed). If you have a shouting match with a woman like this and then she busts your car mirrors off and you report it, you are going to have to explain the shouting. You will automatically lose some credibility for shouting back. Then the cop is going to see a crying girl that is upset because the big bad man was yelling at her (the neighbors will also probably hear the booming man-voice yelling before a girl yelling too) and now her big bad man roommate is accusing her of vandalism even though she's totally seen some shady people hanging around at night while she's been on late night walks to let her roommate cool off because she is afraid for her safety when he gets angry. Even if the cop writes the report in a way to make it sound possible that she did it, you are going to have to go to court and explain to a judge why you couldn't keep your cool and how the situation escalated to her busting your mirrors. Mommy and daddy will probably hire her a lawyer too.

If you use my method, you get a rise out of her, she goes and fucks your car up (luckily you have zero deductible comprehensive which costs me like $10/month for both me and my wife's cars). Then you can explain to your insurance company what happened and let them deal with it/go after her. Fact of the matter is that if the lawyers of the insurance company can't pin it on her you are not going to be able to on your own. If the first time isn't enough for the insurance company to go after her, maybe the 2nd or 3rd time is the charm. Then maybe she gets to stand before a judge and tell him that while she was yelling at you, the big bad man was condescending and wanted to turn off the cable that was in his name alone so she got so angry but he was just condescending.

Quote :

"You don't "win" any argument when nothing changes after the argument. I'm sure you "win" a lot in life."

More often than not I like to think so but I understand this to be a cognitive bias. The point is what she perceives though. As said before if she gets you to shout, she has perceived the win. It has nothing to do with what I perceive, but I would consider it a win if I prevented her from perceiving a win. In situations like this, sometimes, winning means not losing.

[Edited on December 15, 2010 at 10:25 AM. Reason : .]

12/15/2010 10:22:23 AM

You, sir, might be slightly mentally handicapped.

12/15/2010 10:25:21 AM