I get tired of girls texting me random shit for which I have no concern.
So I might as well have fun with it.

Her: I feel as if I'm getting ready to be the bitch that ruins everyone's fun.
Me: Why?
Her: Because for the past 20 minutes I've heard drunks. Its driving me mad.
Me: Just go in there and start talking about how you have really bad diarrhea.
Her: Okay, really. Its not just a few people. Its almost thirty people down the road. Ugh.
Me: Well you will have to speak very loudly obviously. You might even need to yell.
Her: You're not being helpful.
Me: Call the cops............ Tell them you have diarrhea.
Her: Okay, you're being ridiculous. Goodbye.

PROBLEM SOLVED

1/29/2011 2:11:13 AM

lol

1/29/2011 11:11:00 AM

Quote :

" sweet17: Hi Bloodninja: hello Bloodninja: who is this? sweet17: just a someone? Bloodninja: A someone I know? sweet17: nope Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me? sweet17: well sorrrrrry sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you Bloodninja: why? sweet17: nevermind your an jerk Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute sweet17: yes? Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid sweet17: paranoid? Bloodninja: yes sweet17: of what? sweet17: me? Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding. sweet17: LOL Bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me! Bloodninja: This shit is serious! sweet17: What are you hiding from? Bloodninja: The cops. sweet17: gimme a fucking break Bloodninja: I'm serious. sweet17: I don't get it Bloodninja: The cops are after me. sweet17: For what? Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states sweet17: For??? Bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing. Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey. Bloodninja: Hello? sweet17: You are fucking sick. Bloodninja: Send me your picture. sweet17: why? Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them. sweet17: One of what? Bloodninja: The cops. sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you Bloodninja: Then send me your picture. sweet17: hold on Bloodninja: Hurry up. Bloodninja: Are you there? Bloodninja: Fuck you, cop! sweet17: Hey sorry sweet17: I had to do something for my mom. Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me. Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities. Bloodninja: Weren't you!? sweet17: thats not it Bloodninja: Then what? sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty Bloodninja: Most cops aren't sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE! Bloodninja: Then send me the picture. sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail? Bloodninja: Just send it through here. sweet17: alright *PIC* sweet17: Did you get it? Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking. sweet17: That was me back in may sweet17: I've lost weight since then. Bloodninja: I hope so sweet17: what?!? sweet17: that hurt my feelings. Bloodninja: Did it? sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now. Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture? sweet17: yes Bloodninja: Alright let me find it. sweet17: kks Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC* sweet17: this isn't you. Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't! sweet17: You don't look like that. Bloodninja: How the hell do you know? sweet17: cause your profile has another picture. Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake. Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops. sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy.... Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries. sweet17: Go fuck yourself Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week. sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture. sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me. sweet17: you hurt me. Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me? sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me! Bloodninja: Why would I do that? sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap.. sweet17: FUCK YOU!!! Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs. sweet17: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE! sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry. sweet17: No you aren't Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not. Bloodninja: HAARRRRR! sweet17: I'm done with you Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry. sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore Bloodninja: Wait a sec Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot. Bloodninja: Wanna start over? sweet17: No Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty sweet17: You'll what? Bloodninja: You heard me. Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty. sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty? sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men. Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways. sweet17: Like what? Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know? sweet17: I don't know Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no. sweet17: I'm afraid to Bloodninja: Why? sweet17: cause Bloodninja: cause why? sweet17: well lets see sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you? Bloodninja: Nope sweet17: well its strange to me Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to sweet17: I didn't say that Bloodninja: So is that a yes? sweet17: I guess so. Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though. Bloodninja: Are you willing? sweet17: What do you need me to do? Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate. sweet17: ??? Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!" Bloodninja: ok? Bloodninja: Hello? sweet17: You can't be serious Bloodninja: Oh yes I am! Bloodninja: It's my fantasy. sweet17: this is retarded Bloodninja: Do you want it or not? sweet17: Yes I want it. Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me? sweet17: sure Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go. Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs. Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty. Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt. sweet17: mmmm yeah Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp. sweet17: Har Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that! Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad. sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke. Bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth. Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose. Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity. sweet17: mmmmmm you are good Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder Bloodninja: going limp sweet17: HARRRRRRR Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands. Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth. Bloodninja: going limp sweet17: this is stupid Bloodninja: ...still limp Bloodninja: Do it! sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole. Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass. Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass. sweet17: WTF?!?!? Bloodninja: They stink really bad. sweet17: OMG STOP!!! Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg. Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass. sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!! Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head. Bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple... Bloodninja: I kick you in the face! sweet17: FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!! Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin... Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away. Bloodninja: ...going limp again. Bloodninja: Hello? Bloodninja: Say it! Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!! "

1/29/2011 11:47:30 AM

haaaahahahahahha awesome

1/29/2011 1:55:28 PM

i feel like i've read that before. hilarious

sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
Bloodninja: Hurry up.
Bloodninja: Are you there?
Bloodninja: Fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
Bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
Bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
Bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE!

LMAO

1/29/2011 2:12:10 PM