5/12/2011 4:20:24 PM

disOWN3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

5/12/2011 4:21:43 PM

i only claim a few relatives

5/12/2011 4:21:52 PM

DO TELL

5/12/2011 4:23:29 PM

Oh man, I love this thread.

Let me begin with my cousin from backwoods Mississippi.

Not only did she begin dipping at age 4 (5?), but she felt the need to hum the song "My Neck, My Back" while my stepdad was helping her do her homework one night. She was living with us at the time (she was around 13). She went back to Mississippi pretty soon after that.


Anyway, cut to when she was about 18 or 19. She was at a friend's house partying when they were all busted and charged with possession of crystal meth and attempt to sell/distribute. She went to court and the judge basically gave her a choice between jail or rehab. She assumed she could pick the rehab place and thought they were basically letting her go, and she could check into some place nice.

Yeah, no. She ended up being sent to a hardcore rehab facility where she couldn't even smoke her cigarettes or have her dip, and had to stay for like nine months.

5/12/2011 4:24:53 PM

My cousin was on Dr. Phil with her family because her daughter was molested by a family member, which divided the family (keep in mind my extended family is all in Mississippi).

Why did she do it? To get closure? To bring the family together? To get counseling for her daughter?

Nope, because they got a free weekend in Disneyland and a couple grand in spending money.

(Btw this same cousin is also incredibly inspiring to me in many ways, she has had an incredibly hard life, and I love her dearly)

5/12/2011 4:24:54 PM

I encourage it. Makes me look better in comparison and softens the blow of my overachieving cousin at family gatherings.

5/12/2011 4:25:17 PM

mississippi is bringing it

5/12/2011 4:26:50 PM

^^^^
hook me up?

[Edited on May 12, 2011 at 4:27 PM. Reason : .]

5/12/2011 4:27:21 PM

i could break tww talking about my mother's family..


bunch of fucking Johnston County trash

[Edited on May 12, 2011 at 4:28 PM. Reason : asdf]

5/12/2011 4:28:22 PM

My uncle (raised in Mississippi) stole a car when he was younger. He drove it out of state - not because he was just running from the cops, but just because he felt like it. He found out through a relative that the cops were looking for him so he drove the car back to the police station to apologize.

The dumb shit part is mainly that he stole a car just for kicks. Props to him for turning it back in?...


My other cousin (from Mississippi, brother of the cousin that went to rehab) sold crystal meth.


My aunt (who lives in Mississippi and was married to the previously mentioned uncle) put this on her Facebook today:

Quote :

"To My teenage little parents Well I would like to say congrats to Julie my soon to be daughter in law. For her acheivements in finishing high school she has a few more weeks to graduate an the worst is behind her. For those that thought She an My son Dylan would nerver make it as teen parents well they have. she is a ful time mom student an has a job an is the best young teenage mom we could ask for an Dylan is the hardest working young dad an a great father to their little boy Kylan. Love Mom"

I can't tell you how often I thank my grandma for getting the hell out of Wiggins, Mississippi, and moving the family to Florida.

5/12/2011 4:30:55 PM

let's here it, LP

5/12/2011 4:32:03 PM

I will ADD THIS TO MY TOPICS for future occurrences.

5/12/2011 4:32:24 PM

Quote :

"DO TELL"

nah, I'll pass


let's just say that teenagers do some really fucking stupid shit sometimes

[Edited on May 12, 2011 at 4:34 PM. Reason : rest assured there will be a whoopin']

5/12/2011 4:33:34 PM

This is for adultswim



From her Myspace

Quote :

"I CHEATED OMG! I said i would never cheat on anybody but i did the way he has treated me in the past i dont feel a bit guilty.. and at the time he was actually being a great guy and treating me like a queen.I just did it.I was in my right mind and just didnt give a damn..and when i told him i basically said it was over and left him standin in tears when i drove out his damn yard! HELL YEAH! THATS PART OF A STORY IN LIFE IM WRITING ON...I HAVE PUT UP WITH THIS GUYS SHIT FOR TOO LONG HE HAS DONE ME SO WRONG TREATED ME LIKE SHIT WE HAVE FIST FOUGHT LITERALLY MORE THAN ONCE. HE HAS DISRESPECTED ME LIED ON ME AND I STILL TOOK HIM BACK BUT THIS TIME I'M THE ONE THAT WALKED AWAY SMILING WHILE HE THE LITTLE BASTARD HURT. I NEVER SEEK REVENGE ON ANYBODY I ALWAYS FORGIVE AN FORGET BUT WHEN YOUR FUCKED OVER SO MANY TIMES BY THE SAME PERSON YOU GET TIRED OF IN AND WANT REVENGE. i WANNA FEEL BAD I DO BUT I BEEN DONE WRONG SO MANY TIMES AND STILL HAD A GOOD HEART AFTER AND I WAS TAKEN AN ADVANTAGE OF SO YOU REEP WHAT YOU SOW..IT MIGHT COME BACK ON ME BUT YOU KNOW WHAT IT WILL BE WORTH IT CAUSE I GOT WHAT I WANTED AND THAT WAS TO HURT HIM BACK IM STARTING A NEW CHAPTER IN MY LIFE AND HE AINT PART OF IT..CONGRATULATIONS TO ME .I HONESTLY THINK I HAVE A LITTLE BLACK IN MY HEART NOW AND IT DONT BOTHER ME YOU CAN ONLY BE GOOD TO SOMEBODY WHO KEEPS DOING YOU WRONG AND YOU FINALLY SAY FUCK IT ALL!"

I could probably write a book on her, her two brothers, and my aunt and uncle alone.

5/12/2011 4:38:13 PM

My uncle went to a psycho ward and told them he was crazy and he couldn't work in society anymore and needed to get funding from them to survive.

When they laughed and said "haha you're not crazy, or disabled, we can't get you a check" he looked in their eyes and said something to the effect of "I'm having thoughts of killing everyone up in this building right now, do you want to try your luck?"


Son of a bitch proved he was crazy and is getting a free check every two weeks.

5/12/2011 4:41:01 PM

Quote :

"Let me begin with my cousin from backwoods Mississippi."

Quote :

"She went back to Mississippi pretty soon after that."

Quote :

"(keep in mind my extended family is all in Mississippi)."

Quote :

"My uncle (raised in Mississippi) stole a car when he was younger."

Quote :

"My other cousin (from Mississippi, brother of the cousin that went to rehab) sold crystal meth."

Quote :

"My aunt (who lives in Mississippi and was married to the previously mentioned uncle)"

Quote :

"I can't tell you how often I thank my grandma for getting the hell out of Wiggins, Mississippi, and moving the family to Florida."

I'm beginning to see a pattern here.

5/12/2011 4:45:24 PM

my uncle's from Mississippi Street, Virginia




not really, but wouldn't it have been cool?!

5/12/2011 4:47:22 PM

Oh trust and believe we are aware of the pattern


After my grandma and grandpa moved the family to Florida, my aunt and uncle graduated high school then went back to Wiggins. My other aunt started her own company and now has her own cooking show/book. My mom and dad ended up in NC and started their own business.

Aunt and uncle that went back to MS got into crystal meth and alcohol (respectively). Aunt got married to a man that she started selling meth with, and my uncle got married and had kids at a very young age (with the woman whose note I posted above). My grandma and grandpa ended up adopting their two kids because they didn't realize extreme partying stops when you have two kids. They basically saved my two cousins because they are normal people now and not complete fuck-ups like our other cousins still in MS.

[Edited on May 12, 2011 at 4:53 PM. Reason : Ok, I'm done ]

5/12/2011 4:52:06 PM

My cousin is in his 4th year of marriage and just found out that he has a 3 year old child by another woman. His brother borrowed 12K from my grandmother to pay off his car debt so it wouldn't be repossessed and never even paid a single cent of it back. Their father lives in debt, has no money saved, got laid off and then decided he was "retired" because he was too lazy to look for another job. He is roughly 60 and has no savings and will no doubt look for his kids to support him. Another cousin, same side of the family, had a kid at 16 and went to college for 3.99 years only to drop out at one credit short. She is now going back for something different and will likely do the same thing.

These people embarrass and I wish I wasn't related to them at all.

5/13/2011 9:18:05 AM

My cousin had to go to the hospital because somehow he got his testicle twisted around backward. True story.

His brother also tells long sap stories on facebook and has begun quoting himself.

5/13/2011 9:29:55 AM

Quote :

"tells long sap stories on facebook and has begun quoting himself"

oh gosh hahahhahaha. for some reason i find this really, really, really funny.

5/13/2011 9:31:59 AM

I am the trashy one who does "dumb shit" in my immediate and extended family.

But they love me anyway, and that is really important to me.

Love your family, especially the dumb ones!

5/13/2011 9:33:33 AM

"Stupid babies need the most attention" -The Simpsons

5/13/2011 9:42:40 AM

^2 not surprised.

^5 are you black? because that sounds awfully black.

5/13/2011 9:43:56 AM

Quote :

" I am the trashy stupid one who does "dumb shit" in my immediate and extended family. But they love me anyway, and that is really important to me. "

5/13/2011 9:46:59 AM

Sam's pic of her cousin plus story cracks me up

5/13/2011 9:48:22 AM

Quote :

"rest assured there will be a whoopin'"

Yes! gg!

5/13/2011 10:17:25 AM

SPARE THE ROD AND SPOIL THE CHILD

5/13/2011 2:47:37 PM

my cousin got caught with a stolen check at the bank. lucky for her the dumbass cop left the check on his patrol car and drove off losing the evidence.
of course they still charged her with the bong in her purse though

5/13/2011 4:08:13 PM

http://sanfordherald.com/bookmark/14342983-Restaurant-owner-among-14-arrested-in-drug-sting

6/18/2011 11:40:48 AM

itt i wonder if i went to school with Samwise16's crazy family

6/18/2011 11:54:18 AM

Quote :

"I encourage it. Makes me look better in comparison and softens the blow of my overachieving cousin at family gatherings."

6/18/2011 11:57:02 AM

they're lawyers, engineers, MBAs and other professionals

my cousin that knocked a girl up is a good father and finishing grad school - he's younger than me

6/18/2011 2:01:37 PM

shit...dumb-ass didn't have a lawyer at her hearing. What in the world?

8/4/2011 1:30:38 PM

Quote :

"YOU REEP WHAT YOU SOW"

Quote :

"Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same."

Quote :

"I CHEATED"

Hope she enjoys reaping what she sows.

8/4/2011 1:35:00 PM