Hey guys - wall of text incoming. I tend to write things down right after they happen so I don't forget the important details. This past weekend at the state fair I found myself in a less than ideal situation.
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On 10/20/2012 at approximately 11:45am, I was at the North Carolina State Fair in the section labeled, " Village of Yesteryear". While waiting there with my wife, I decided to jump in and use the men's restroom that was located right outside. In the restroom I went to the furthest stall from the door. As soon as I got in the stall I unzipped my pants and began to pee. While I was in the middle of peeing, I noticed a camera phone lean over the top of my stall and take a picture. I immediately zipped up and ran out of the stall to try and catch/confront the person taking the photos. I saw a young gentleman looking back at me as he tried to hurriedly push past a guy on his way out of the restroom. I also noticed in his right hand that he had the phone I had just seen take a picture of me. I ran up to the guy and grabbed him by his shoulder and told him he wasn't going anywhere. He didn't try to run, fight, etc - instead he immediately began apologizing and kept repeating, "Im so sorry I don't know why I did it, I'm so stupid, I'm so sorry, I'll delete the pictures I swear Im so sorry". While saying this, he started to open his phone and I told him, "Don't even f*****g touch your phone" and he immediately stopped. My wife heard me yelling at this guy and came running over to see what was going on. I explained that I had just caught him taking photos of me in the stall. My wife asked him, "Why would you do that, what is wrong with you" to which he replied, "I don't know why I did it, Im so sorry oh God Im so sorry I don't know why it was a mistake".

My wife went off to find security and I also started walking around with the guy, who had just told me he was only 14 years old. In walking around, I still held onto the kid by his neck/shoulder to make sure he didn't run away or try to delete the pictures. I also called 911 at this point and was transferred to the Wake County Sheriff's Office - after explaining my situation, they tried to give me another phone # to call, but over the sounds at the fair, my shaking hands, and holding onto the kid, I wasn't able to write down or remember the number. A minute or two later, I heard the kid saying, "Its ok, Its alright, everything is fine". I looked to the side of the walkway to see who he was talking to and I realized it was his mom, dad, and brother, all sitting on a bench. I brought their son over to them and explained what had happened and that I wasn't letting him out of my sights until I spoke with the police. The dad showed no emotion, didn't say a word, and really didn't seem surprised. The moms only reaction was, "Please give me a minute, I need a minute to process this". After about 30 seconds, the whole family and I began to walk around the fair looking for police, security, etc. The parents still didn't show much, if any, emotion, especially the dad who never really said a word.

After walking around for about 60 seconds, I received a phone call from my wife saying she had security back at the Village of Yesteryear. I told everyone we were headed back to where we just left since my wife had found security. When we arrived back at the village, the head of security and a few other people were present. The head of security asked the guy if he had taken photos in the bathroom which he said he had. The security guy then tried to take the kids phone, only to be told by the mom, "Who are you? Who are you? You are not touching my son's phone, the only people who will touch his phone will be the POLICE." Almost exactly on queue, a few Wake County officers were just arriving. The asked a few questions of both myself and the boy and then proceeded to take us all to their command center at the fair. After close to two hours, I was told that the officers investigating the incident were unable to find any photos of me on the phone, although there were other photos of another gentleman taken in the same stall, probably the guy who had been in there right before me. I was told that since there were no photos showing me, that I personally could not pursue criminal charges against the boy, despite him admitting to what he did and possessing other candid photos of men in the restroom. I was also told that the police had confiscated his phone as evidence and their forensic team would attempt to recover any deleted photos from the phone as the kid had admitted he already deleted them. If the photos are recovered, I would be able to press charges. If the photos are not able to be recovered for some reason, the only option I would have would be a civil suit.
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So now I am basically waiting to hear back from the Sheriff's department about whether or not they could recover images of me from the phone. Hoping you guys might be able to answer some questions while I wait (Yes, I know asking for legal advice on the internet is probably not the best solution and I do plan to call around to some attorneys to get their take on everything once I hear back from the Sheriff's department.)

Questions:
I was told I couldn't press charges unless they recovered images of me from the phone, despite his admission he took the photos and him being in possession of other photos of other men in that same stall. Is there truly nothing I can legally/criminally pursue?

I was also told that I could look into civil options irregardless of what they recover from the phone. I have on idea where to even start with this - does anyone have any good recommendations for civil attorneys?

I'm sure I'll think of more -- still in shock that this happened. For reference, I am a 29 year old male, the kid taking the photos was a 14 year old male.

Any advice/thoughts/comments are appreciated.

10/22/2012 11:27:55 AM

I would just move on.....

10/22/2012 11:42:19 AM

Yo, holmes to Bel-Air?

10/22/2012 11:44:18 AM

I would have just taken the phone and thrown it in to one of the ponds near that Yesteryear building. You won't accomplish much trying to press charges against a 14 yr old.

10/22/2012 11:48:28 AM

Unless my face was in the actual pictures of my dick, I could care less. The kid seems to be fucked anyways since there are pictures of other dudes and their dicks.

Even if you could discern it was me and my dick in the pic...fuck it, who cares? Although my dick is pretty small when flaccid...it's not like you're in high school and this is going to keep you from getting laid.

10/22/2012 11:48:45 AM

I would also move on. He's only 14. If someone presses charges he may even be added to the sex offender registry, which would suck as a punishment for a stupid teenage prank.

[Edited on October 22, 2012 at 11:49 AM. Reason : ]

10/22/2012 11:49:05 AM

What exactly are you suing for? I don't know what you are expecting to get suing a 14 year old for taking pictures of you taking a leak.

10/22/2012 11:53:38 AM

Quote :

"which would suck as a punishment for a stupid teenage prank."

I don't know about this....kid might have a problem. I don't think too many 14-year olds are taking dick pics of strangers in stalls as "pranks." Most early teenage boys are too scared to be labeled as "homo" to even think about it.

Even if it was a prank...you're really violating someone's privacy doing that (obviously the OP's was). I think any punishment handed out will be justified.

10/22/2012 11:54:56 AM

if that kid turns around and says that he exposed himself to him and asked him to take a picture thatd be some shit wouldnt it.

sue the hell out of the bastard and get out in front of it before it ruins your own life

10/22/2012 11:56:45 AM

Quote :

"COULD CARE LESS"

10/22/2012 12:10:26 PM

Well if the kid has a history of that kind of behavior, he needs to get help. I think taking this to court is appropriate if his parents have not attempted or didn't know that he may need to get help.

It doesn't sound like he was trying to embarrass you somehow, but then again, I have no idea why kids do half the things they did even while I was a kid.

Ultimately, the State Fair has been something for certain kinds of low-life's to feed off the population en masse for some time. It's a good time, but at your own risk...

[Edited on October 22, 2012 at 12:24 PM. Reason : a]

10/22/2012 12:19:41 PM

Quote :

"I was told I couldn't press charges unless they recovered images of me from the phone, despite his admission he took the photos and him being in possession of other photos of other men in that same stall. Is there truly nothing I can legally/criminally pursue? I was also told that I could look into civil options irregardless of what they recover from the phone. I have on idea where to even start with this - does anyone have any good recommendations for civil attorneys? I'm sure I'll think of more -- still in shock that this happened. For reference, I am a 29 year old male, the kid taking the photos was a 14 year old male."

1. No; it's hearsay (well, that's probably not the right word... he said/he said deal); so without evidence of him admitting to you, I don't think it counts for much.

2. Civil options are worthless here.

3. If they find pictures, press charges, if not, carry on knowing you attract 14 year old boys.

10/22/2012 12:28:18 PM

I would move on.

I'd be pissed, but not enough to try and ruin the life of a 14 year old. You won't get anything from further action, unless you're looking for peace of mind knowing you've gotten that terror out of the stalls.

10/22/2012 12:30:26 PM

move on...kid's screwed by the other pictures on his phone and it's going to be a waste of your time and energy because you can't actually prove anything

also, i second the "i don't care about pics of my dick" bit...my dong's nothing special, but i'm old enough not to care one way or another...especially when you consider that your face likely isn't visible in a picture taken from the top of a stall

the kid NEEDS and DESERVES to get into trouble for this...it's not okay...but you already did the only thing you can do, which is catch him and turn him over to the popo

[Edited on October 22, 2012 at 12:48 PM. Reason : spelling]

10/22/2012 12:47:49 PM

Well if that forensics team takes its cue from the Cary PD, not only will they not find anything but they'll delete the entire memory card

10/22/2012 12:51:47 PM

Agreed.

10/22/2012 12:52:18 PM

i read this as you caught a kid peeing not peeping.

were they dressed in UNC apparel?

10/22/2012 12:59:54 PM

^this isn't chit chat

I'm firmly in the "let it go" camp. Your penis without context is worthless. Having pictures that contain both your face and genitals could be damaging from a social or career perspective...but absent your face, these pictures could be of anyone. Its not like your dong is so well known that its instantly recognizable by more than a few. Not worth the pursuit.

10/22/2012 1:25:24 PM

wow, that's crazy. i have no advice, but good luck.

also,

Quote :

"irregardless"

10/22/2012 1:38:50 PM

That's pretty strange.

I have no idea how I would react in this situation.

I probably would have just taken his phone away and marched off.

10/22/2012 1:43:54 PM

Quote :

"I would move on. I'd be pissed, but not enough to try and ruin the life of a 14 year old. You won't get anything from further action, unless you're looking for peace of mind knowing you've gotten that terror out of the stalls."

I probably wouldn't have done anything. Finished my piss and left...and if it was an iPhone5 unless you've got a purple dork no one would recognize it anyway.

10/22/2012 1:44:20 PM

Quote :

"I have no idea how I would react in this situation."

You probably would have sued his realtor.

10/22/2012 1:46:10 PM

It's possible.

10/22/2012 1:48:38 PM

I think the kid needs help, not a life-time membership to the sexual offenders list. Not familiar enough with the law to know which outcome will occur from him getting criminally busted at this point in his life.

I doubt I would have thought that in the heat of the moment though. Kudos to you for not getting violent.

10/22/2012 1:54:04 PM

OMG A KID DID THIS?! NO WAY. YOU MEAN? IT WASN'T AN OLD DISGUSTING MAN??! QUICK! LOCK UP HIS FATHER BECAUSE HIS SON WAS MOLESTED!

10/22/2012 2:05:45 PM

^ yeah it really depends on the family.

He's messed up in the head for one reason or another...

10/22/2012 2:05:55 PM

Quote :

"He's messed up in the head for one reason or another..."

messed up as in.... homosexually curious?

10/22/2012 2:07:18 PM

Don't you watch SVU?

This means he will immediately escalate to rape


[Edited on October 22, 2012 at 2:08 PM. Reason : j.]

10/22/2012 2:08:24 PM

the gays don't go around taking pictures of strangers peeing, to my knowledge.

10/22/2012 2:09:11 PM

^^^I think you're the only one thinking of his sexuality; we're all talking about him repeatedly invading the sexual privacy of others. It would (at least for me) be the same conversation if the OP was a woman.

Actually the cops would have probably tasered or killed the kid if the OP was a woman, but that's a completely different conversation.

[Edited on October 22, 2012 at 2:10 PM. Reason : ^]

10/22/2012 2:09:53 PM

I guess I would have a problem if every one saw I had a small penis, too


Carry on.

10/22/2012 2:12:05 PM

My serious solution to this would have been to take his phone and walk away.


If he didn't learn his lesson from that, then it's not my problem anymore until the next time he takes my picture.

10/22/2012 2:14:19 PM

What grade is 14? In middle school at camp a bunch of us got caught trying to peep in the womens shower. Only difference between that and this is new technology and him being gay.

10/22/2012 2:16:48 PM

..and the lack of a shower.

10/22/2012 2:17:56 PM

Quote :

"What grade is 14? In middle school at camp a bunch of us got caught trying to peep in the womens shower. Only difference between that and this is new technology and him being gay."

repeatedly taking pictures and trying to sneak a peak are quite different. The former even speaks to malice and sociopathy.

V, <shrug> I don't know how old you are but handheld cameras aren't a super-recent phenomenon. I guess there is a point that maybe you had to go out of your way more to take a picture before smartphones became ubiquitous.

[Edited on October 22, 2012 at 2:37 PM. Reason : .]

10/22/2012 2:23:06 PM

when we were kids we didn't have a camera in our pocket 24/7, who knows what we would have tried to snap

10/22/2012 2:31:18 PM

Teenagers are mentally insane due to all the changes they're going through and hormones coursing through their body. Dude was probably curious how he stacked up to other guys in the dick size department and wanted to investigate. However, he lacks the judgment and inhibition that would prevent most people from doing what he did because he's a 14 year old boy that is fascinated by anything to do with his dick or something in which he can shove a dick.

Once I had grabbed the kid, I would have allowed him to delete the picture, let him go, and gone straight to a roasted corn stand. shrug

10/22/2012 2:33:28 PM

Quote :

"Teenagers are mentally insane due to all the changes they're going through and hormones coursing through their body. "

I can't fucking stand people that use words like "mentally insane" to explain a natural occurring process.

10/22/2012 2:37:00 PM

TL;DR
OP met a future TWW poster.

10/22/2012 2:38:53 PM

Quote :

"My serious solution to this would have been to take his phone and walk away. If he didn't learn his lesson from that, then it's not my problem anymore until the next time he takes my picture."

Then the kid could have said you stole the phone and when the phone was recovered, the pics could have been pinned on you.

10/22/2012 2:56:46 PM

Quote :

"Then the kid could have said you stole the phone and when the phone was recovered, the pics could have been pinned on you."

What phone?

10/22/2012 2:59:59 PM

The pictures are probably all up on 4chan.

Why don't you go have yourself a browse.

10/22/2012 3:00:28 PM

paging Beethoven

10/22/2012 3:09:21 PM

Quote :

"I can't fucking stand people that use words like "mentally insane" to explain a natural occurring process."

Well, I thought I made it quite clear that I acknowledged it as a naturally occurring process in my post, but if you want to be an ass and over analyze the wording of my post then be my guest. It should be clear to anyone not looking to be an ass that I don't actually find teenagers to be truly insane.

In fact, if you want to be so picky and find people insufferable over the slightest of things, mental insanity is a naturally occurring process, so to quote you, "I can't fucking stand people that are ignorant." Better?

[Edited on October 22, 2012 at 4:39 PM. Reason : ]

10/22/2012 4:37:07 PM

OP, don't listen to these pussyasses. sue this brat and his pervert family for all their worth. the kid needs to be locked away, and the apathy the parents showed proves they're at fault. don't walk away, don't let him get away with this. fucking sickasses like this are ruining the world for the rest of us.

and I agree with the "back in my day, we didn't have no cellphones..." sentiment

10/22/2012 4:42:14 PM

You [non law enforcement] can't press charges against a juvenile; they have to be filed by a sworn officer. Unless that kid signed a sworn affidavit or you have him on tape admitting to the crime, its not going to help. What exactly do you want to do civilly? Like sue the kid?

10/22/2012 4:45:12 PM

Just to add to this/clear a few things up:

I'd much prefer this not end up as a civil suit, however *something* needs to be done. What that *something* is determines on a lot of factors outside of anything I'll ever know about this kid. This behavior could honestly range anywhere from, "Stupid kid mistake/dare/curiosity", "I've been abused and this is my cry for help", all the way to, "Kid is a complete and total sexual deviant who will grow up to rape someone". I have no way to know this kids situation, but it doesn't change the fact that what he did is completely messed up.

Think about this for just a minute. I am an adult and was able to handle the situation fairly appropriately I believe. Think about if you had a younger son who was using the bathroom though and he sees this camera pop up and take a quick picture of him. A younger person being victimized might not have been quick enough, bold enough, etc to do anything about it. Instead, it could be your son with his junk plastered on the internet somewhere. The kid who was taking the pictures is only 14 as I said and he had *NO* way to knowing who he was photographic on the other side of the stall. For all he knew he was taking pictures of an 80 year old man or a 5 year old boy. In fact, he had taken pictures of at least one other person prior to me getting in the stall, however I have no way of knowing if this other person was an adult, a minor, or if it was more than 1 person. Since he is a minor, all I was told is that, "I wasn't in any of the photos on his phone but it appeared at least one of the other pictures is of a guy who was wearing different clothing than me". Despite there being no pictures of me on his phone when it was looked at, the kid fully admitted he had indeed taken at least one photo of me and he, "Thought he already deleted it but wasn't sure". At this point I have no idea if the kid has an app on his phone that hides pictures (apparently this is a thing) or if he has some crap like photobucket set up which would have automatically uploaded my picture after it was taken. These are all things that are still being investigated.

I had no desire to personally go through his phone, nor did I care to steal his phone and commit a crime myself. Sure, there are a lot of things I would have *liked* to do in that situation, but as soon as I realized it was a very young person (I was thinking 10-12, turns out he is 14), I immediately knew committing a crime myself wouldn't resolve anything and in fact would likely be turned against me.

I would have to say that knowing now that it was a kid does make me feel *slightly* better, but still violated. It's hard to explain the emotions/surge of adrenaline/WTF that I felt the moment I saw the camera phone taking a picture. I don't exactly look like I could kick someones ass, and here I am in a situation where I have to bust out of this stall real quick and try to catch whomever is on the other side or ignore it and pretend like it didn't happen. I had no idea if I was about to confront some big ass guy or some little kid. I obviously felt a bit better when I realized it wasn't someone who was going to put up a fight.

The strangest part of all for me is still the family's reaction. At no point in time did his parents say, "Why do you have my son?" or "Did you really do this?" or "Why did you do this?" - they really seemed indifferent that this had just happened. The more I think about it the more I feel like there is something not right about this kid and/or his family situation. I can't imagine being a parent and not even asking, "did you do this?".

Anyhow, is what it is, still waiting to hear back from the police department about what, if anything, they were able to recover from his phone. The results of that will determine where/how things are handled next. One thing is for certain though, this kid needs professional help of some sort. Whatever caused him to be this screwed up needs to be looked into.

Quote :

"What exactly do you want to do civilly? Like sue the kid?"

I honestly have no clue what options are even open to me at this point. I don't feel like suing the kid or his parents will resolve anything but it may be a foot in the door to get this kid some help. The only reason I mentioned it is because a few of the officers were saying things like, "without a picture of you on his phone at this point there is nothing we can criminally charge him with, however your civil options are open and probably your best bet since he has already admitted taking the photos." I haven't had to deal with the legal system prior to this so I have no clue what avenues are available or what they could lead to.

[Edited on October 22, 2012 at 5:05 PM. Reason : .]

10/22/2012 4:56:57 PM

He will probably grow up to be this dude:

http://www.vice.com/read/deep-inside-the-chain-pub-piss-dungeon

10/22/2012 5:07:10 PM

Quote :

"You [non law enforcement] can't press charges against a juvenile; they have to be filed by a sworn officer. Unless that kid signed a sworn affidavit or you have him on tape admitting to the crime, its not going to help. "

OP can't press charges against him, but what is law enforcement's excuse? They have a witness who will testify (the victim), supporting evidence (other covertly taken dick pics), and a kid who has admitted to having taken the pics and deleting them. That's about as open and shut as it gets. You can't tell me kids don't get charged with far less evidence all the time.

Maybe they thought the crime wasn't worth their time. Maybe they thought the punishment would be too severe considering the nature of the crime and they wanted to protect a first time offender from being railroaded by the system. I can't say I fully disagree if they were following either line of reasoning, but pretending you can't charge a kid with a crime unless it's caught on video or he signs an affidavit is a joke.

I probably wouldn't push for him to be charged either, but I can certainly understand why the victim would want something done. If the parents are lackadaisical about it then he doesn't have a lot of [legal] choices other than to go to law enforcement.

10/22/2012 5:14:26 PM

There's a very high likelihood that this kid is just experimenting as he's just starting to enter puberty.

However, actions like this can be indicative of early childhood exposure to sexual situations. That can range from sexual abuse to being exposed to pornography at an early age.

So I wouldn't read too far into the parent's reactions.

10/22/2012 6:18:06 PM