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 Message Boards » » I've started seeing this lady Page 1 [2], Prev  
Wickerman
All American
2304 Posts
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Quote :
"^The cop was cool with it at the end, but at first, he was all, "Ma'am, do you mind if I ask why you have a spoon in your purse?" After I explained, he offered to hold on to my (confiscated) fork for me in case it was "part of a set." (LOL, what a nice guy!)

But the pimp--who had followed me down the street, into the Justice Building, through security, out of the building, across the street, into the courthouse, and through security again--did not relent. While the police questioned me about my utensils, he waited around the corner, holding the elevator for me. Naturally, I hopped on and thanked him for it!

Once alone on the elevator, he caught a glimpse of my silly shoe liners (socks). He said they looked cute and that he wanted to see them. I showed him the heel to demonstrate what a liner was and how they were basically nerd socks for people who didn't want smelly shoes. He told me he wanted to see the whole sock...and I seriously almost pulled my whole foot out of my shoe for him. But we were approaching the tenth floor, and I knew the bailiff would be there waiting for me.

So my safe brain kicked in, and he was denied access to my feet.

Before the elevator doors opened, he was like, "Come on, girl. Just show me your sock. It's not that big a big deal, is it?" I departed the elevator, and the pimp guy followed me until the bailiff shooed him.

Obviously, the bailiff was my hero, so I did sex stuff with him. Later, I may have seen him slipping cash to the pimp guy. "


WTF?!

Are you the one who writes short stories as a side hustle?

5/1/2017 2:52:39 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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I should get her some candy, or flowers or something.

5/1/2017 3:12:54 PM

TreeTwista10
PartyFanaticColonel
137203 Posts
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You should do the things that keep a smile on her face. Perhaps, say the words that make her feel better, every day.

5/1/2017 3:14:45 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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Make her pussy wet, not her eyes

5/1/2017 3:21:40 PM

justinh524
Fire Finley
16094 Posts
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or both

5/1/2017 3:32:39 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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break my bed, not my heart

5/1/2017 4:00:58 PM

ShawnaC123
All American
46044 Posts
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What's a chick do to make a guy all googly eyed about her like this? I be tryna date dudes for like 15 years and always get the form job application rejection letter.

Quote :
"Dear Ms. C123,
Thank you for the interest in the position as [dude]'s girlfriend. You have many of the qualifications required of the position and should be proud of your experience and education. However, we have decided to move forward with another candidate.

Best,
Life
"

5/1/2017 6:14:06 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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EMCE, BUSTED!

5/1/2017 6:24:18 PM

justinh524
Fire Finley
16094 Posts
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5/2/2017 6:06:26 AM

beatsunc
All American
9199 Posts
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OP may have made the mistake of letting her know he likes her. many womens just want what they cant have

5/2/2017 7:37:09 AM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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But I really like her! I should give her a massage...

5/2/2017 9:20:12 AM

Exiled
Eyes up here ^^
5344 Posts
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Have you taken her out for ice cream?

5/2/2017 9:35:29 AM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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Aww yeah

5/2/2017 9:39:44 AM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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I'm going to cook her sexy ass some breakfast this weekend. It's going to be awesome.

5/11/2017 11:43:55 AM

BigMan157
Suspended
102556 Posts
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do it Uncle Buck-style

5/11/2017 12:07:18 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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???

5/11/2017 1:21:19 PM

jbrick83
All American
23126 Posts
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5/11/2017 2:02:50 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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How crass!

5/11/2017 2:04:12 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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[Edited on May 13, 2017 at 2:42 PM. Reason : Hh]

5/13/2017 2:41:51 PM

justinh524
Fire Finley
16094 Posts
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does she know you posted this on one of the hottest message boards on the entire internet?

5/13/2017 3:10:10 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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she does now!

5/13/2017 6:18:36 PM

qntmfred
retired
38783 Posts
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sup to thee ma'am

5/13/2017 8:01:08 PM

MrGreen
All American
1201 Posts
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she seems delightful

the rest of this post has been redacted but it was funny as fuck

5/13/2017 9:24:11 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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I think that things are going well. She's so awesome, in like every way conceivable.


shes my Jazzy Belle




[Edited on October 5, 2017 at 10:13 PM. Reason : ff]

10/5/2017 10:11:08 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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She's my love. I'm don't even care when she poots on me

10/21/2017 11:58:14 AM

NCSUGimp
All American
24387 Posts
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I've got $100 that says "she" used to have a dong. Send me pictures of "her" genitals for me to review.

Also, I thought you were only into obese white women?

10/27/2017 1:44:48 PM

EMCE
balls deep
87997 Posts
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Quote :
"Also, I thought you were only into obese white women?"


Dude, I fucked your mom once. ONCE. Let it go...

10/27/2017 3:32:51 PM

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