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 Message Boards » » smath getting married again thread Page [1]  
Smath74
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7/1/2017 1:49:16 PM

ShawnaC123
2019 Egg Champ
46541 Posts
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What's with the creepy guy? Are you marrying a high schooler and that's why you scribbled on each other?

7/1/2017 2:04:05 PM

Smath74
All American
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oh that's my dad. it's genetic.

7/1/2017 2:04:42 PM

justinh524
HumanSkinEggBaby
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Yeah, is this that 18 year old?

7/1/2017 2:06:50 PM

BanjoMan
All American
9592 Posts
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these photos just scream creepy. It is really cool. I want to be there and get fucked in the ass.

7/1/2017 3:55:47 PM

EMCE
balls deep
89019 Posts
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congrats, and good luck!

7/1/2017 4:05:04 PM

mkcarter
PLAY SO HARD
4248 Posts
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Congrads

7/1/2017 5:06:01 PM

synapse
play so hard
59358 Posts
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Congrats Smath!

7/1/2017 5:28:31 PM

BubbleBobble
SO COME ALL U GIRLS!
108611 Posts
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gratulationes

7/1/2017 6:11:55 PM

Smath74
All American
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Thanks y'all. Nah she is my age.

7/1/2017 6:34:04 PM

Nighthawk
All American
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Is that the chick that pissed in front of you in the parking lot?

7/1/2017 7:37:10 PM

PaulISdead
All American
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Did she need insurance?

7/1/2017 7:56:26 PM

justinh524
HumanSkinEggBaby
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Does she know that kids hide under your house?

7/1/2017 8:46:13 PM

NCSUStinger
Burn It All Down
61398 Posts
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does she like math, if so, you two have that in common

7/3/2017 12:51:36 AM

MrGreen
All American
1546 Posts
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she has nice pits

7/3/2017 7:05:07 AM

BubbleBobble
SO COME ALL U GIRLS!
108611 Posts
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how is it you like pits but not feet tho

7/3/2017 7:17:31 AM

Smath74
All American
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we are awesome. omg.

7/14/2017 10:25:00 AM

Dynasty2004
Bawls
4988 Posts
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this seems rushed into.

7/14/2017 10:51:39 AM

afripino
All American
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gg smath. may she have less baggage than ye.

7/14/2017 1:52:10 PM

Nighthawk
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Did you drive off in the Beetle with the SMATH license plate?

7/14/2017 2:53:15 PM

Smath74
All American
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come on man. that was a ford escort! havent had that thing in years. i drive a tank volvo now.

7/17/2017 11:56:05 AM

Smath74
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best tinder date ever! our first date lasted 11 days.

22yo is doing tv stuff in california now but she gives me support in it.

7/17/2017 12:00:13 PM

Smath74
All American
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she wrote me a poem. she loves me for me. all baggage life experiences included. she is wonderful.

7/17/2017 12:04:02 PM

justinh524
HumanSkinEggBaby
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I wish I understood any of Smath's posts.

7/17/2017 12:28:51 PM

Nighthawk
All American
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Drunk at noon on a weekday in the summer? Yep, definitely a teacher.

7/17/2017 1:43:28 PM

synapse
play so hard
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Quote :
"tv stuff in california"


7/17/2017 2:35:09 PM

FroshKiller
All American
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Allow me to help you make sense of, like, easily 40% of Smath threads. I know 40% isn't even the majority, but trust me, it will help. Here is how you make one of these threads.

Think of something that happened to you recently, probably something involving a woman. Construct a narrative about the event in the way that a reasonable person would, as if you were going to tell the story to a friend or classmate or co-worker asking what you did this weekend.

Alternatively, when you're having a conversation with someone and you feel the urge to add something relevant, save that contribution so you can post it to the Wolf Web later divorced from all context and relevance. Ideally, this contribution also involves a woman.

Now, whatever the nature of this experience, boil it down to about four or five sentences. It's crucial that you not actually communicate your narrative in these sentences. Ideally, they describe a simple action or two, and the rest of the sentences add somewhat irrelevant details about the age and interests of the woman in question.

By way of illustrating this concept, consider a hypothetical conversation Smath has in the teacher's lounge:

Teacher: You see that new Spider-Man movie?

Smath: Yeah, I went with that girl from my kickball team.

Teacher: What'd you think?

Smath: I liked what I saw, but I only got about an hour into it, because the projector died.

Teacher: Oh, that sucks! Did you get a refund?

Smath: They gave everyone passes. I might go see something else. We just went to Lynnwood and had a beer after.

Teacher: I thought it was pretty good. It was way better than the Andrew Garfield ones.

Smath: I still like the Tobey Maguire movies.

Teacher: Yeah, they're pretty good. Except that third one.

Now, let's boil this down to a handful of sentences.

1. I took a date to the movies.
2. We went to see the new Spider-Man movie.
3. The projector died before the movie ended.
4. The manager gave everyone free passes.
5. We had beers afterwards.

Now, pepper that note about the girl being on your kickball team back in, because that shit is choice. You can most easily do this by assigning her an epithet, like "kickball girl." You're almost ready to post to the Wolf Web. The last thing you need to do is to type all this out longhand, jamming as much of the first sentence into the subject as you can:

Quote :
"I took kickball girl to see the new Spider-Man mov

ie. The projector broke an hour into it. The manager gave us a free pass. We went to Lynnwood for beers instead."


Essentially, what you're going for is a clean break between the idea you're trying to communicate and any sort of context that would help your audience understand that idea. The workmanlike expression of fact should be sufficient to make yourself understood, but it's important to include detail--not necessarily salient detail, but detail--in order to really sell your experience as something that happened in reality.

7/17/2017 2:41:38 PM

bottombaby
IRL
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Is he still a teacher? Unless you teach children who are too young to use the internet to sleuth, I cannot imagine this crazy pants posting flying under the radar.

7/17/2017 2:45:19 PM

FroshKiller
All American
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i mean what are the odds

7/17/2017 2:48:24 PM

bottombaby
IRL
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I mean I work at school that houses K through 8th grade and I have middle schoolers sending me friend requests on FB, Instagram, SnapChat, etc. If those kids live under Smath's house, they're bound to be on TWW at this point.

7/17/2017 2:51:37 PM

FroshKiller
All American
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pretty sure there aren't any kids

7/17/2017 2:53:11 PM

justinh524
HumanSkinEggBaby
21576 Posts
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Quote :
"If those kids live under Smath's house, they're bound to be on TWW at this point."


STOP LURKING AND POST YOU LITTLE ASSHOLES

7/17/2017 3:06:42 PM

bottombaby
IRL
21939 Posts
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They're screen grabbing everything he posts and sharing it with the entire school.

7/17/2017 3:17:21 PM

Smath74
All American
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i'm very confident and happy about my wife. she is able to wield a pen for poetry or a wrench for building things. she is beautiful. she is smart. she is wise. we are happy.

7/24/2017 10:41:29 AM

jbrick83
All American
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7/24/2017 11:06:53 AM

justinh524
HumanSkinEggBaby
21576 Posts
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Wait, you already got married again?

7/24/2017 11:24:56 AM

Smath74
All American
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yup

7/26/2017 4:22:25 PM

Jaybee1200
Suspended
56200 Posts
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Are you wearing a polo shirt with a camouflage hat? wtf

Let me guess, you have cargo shorts and flip flops on too dont you, you fuck

7/26/2017 5:10:09 PM

Smath74
All American
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Jeans and boots. With my Polo shirt and camo work hat. But why are you so concerned with what a guy you don't know wears?

7/27/2017 1:38:44 PM

FroshKiller
All American
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i had a pretty great post here, bump

6/30/2020 3:45:47 PM

TreeTwista10
Laugh, Think, Cry
142239 Posts
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not as great as BanjoMan's post

6/30/2020 3:53:16 PM

Smath74
All American
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3 year anniversary in a few days

6/30/2020 6:56:02 PM

PaulISdead
All American
7515 Posts
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Never forget the vicariosity of those mania posts

6/30/2020 7:30:49 PM

justinh524
HumanSkinEggBaby
21576 Posts
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How are the kids under your house?

6/30/2020 7:48:27 PM

StTexan
All American
1309 Posts
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^^^^^it honestly isn’t that bad in retrospect

7/1/2020 12:47:49 AM

BigMan157
i miss ddk
103200 Posts
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happy anniversary dawg

7/1/2020 9:19:24 AM

Kickstand
All American
9746 Posts
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Congrats on 3 years of holy matrimony. How many kids do you have?

7/1/2020 1:28:27 PM

Smath74
All American
93216 Posts
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2 but none under the house

7/2/2020 8:06:55 PM

 Message Boards » Chit Chat » smath getting married again thread Page [1]  
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