If it were really his, he wouldn't be cupping his balls.

He'd be proving it's his

7/3/2008 9:28:35 PM

yeah i thought it looked fake to but whatev

MOVING RIGHT ALLONG

Quote :

"Young Wealthy Guy Looking For Someone Special - 27 Reply to: pers-741770670@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-03, 3:57PM EDT Hello everyone Im basically looking for that special someone and someone thats down to earth. Its whats inside that counts not whats on the outside What im looking for in someone is, someone thats....Fun, Energetic and caring. Also, id prefer if you DONT smoke, but if you do, as long as its not all the time. As my family and I happen to be well off, we are dealing with the press and other wealthy people all the time and its hard meeting someone Genuine and Down To Earth! The reason i'm telling you im wealthy is that I prefer if you know already, instead of you finding out later on. So you can decide yourself if your intrested in getting to know me, or not. Im going to tell you now.....just because im wealthy, it doesnt mean i'll be spending it all on you! (sorry is that sounds a bit harsh, its just so you know - and so that I can find someone genuinely intrested - anyway, who knows what the future will bring). Sorry I didnt post a picture, I value my privacy alot and will do the same for you. Ok, so about me! Im tall-ish, Brown hair, Brown eyesI often to go the gym So, If you are genuine send me an email- fabdan69 [AT] gmail . com Make sure you send it to that address as my other address gets spamed with junk email, I dont want to miss your email! Lots of love =D Dan xxxxxx "

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/m4w/741770670.html

7/3/2008 9:30:02 PM

ahahaha


that's been being posted for months
and months
and months

7/3/2008 9:30:54 PM

lol, wonder if that shit works

7/3/2008 9:31:23 PM

huh, i haven't noticed it before and i look pretty often in hopes of gettin a good laugh... like that one

7/3/2008 9:40:47 PM

Under items wanted:

Quote :

"Prayers (Wake Forest Rd.) Reply to: sale-745561529@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-07, 12:21PM EDT I would like as many prayers as I can get for my financial instability. I barely have enough gas to make it both my jobs for the week and I wont make rent until the 25th of June wich might not be accepted. All I ask is your prayers to guide me through sucessfully through this storm. Thanks to all. "

7/7/2008 12:54:21 PM

haha

7/7/2008 12:55:12 PM

and the award to most creative and ambitious post goes to... ^^

7/7/2008 1:22:51 PM

isn't it wrong to pray for financial gain?

7/7/2008 1:23:42 PM

Quote :

"Looking for a Babysitter (Raleigh/Knightdale) Reply to: gigs-743601735@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-05, 3:00PM EDT I am looking for FEMALE to occasionally babysit for my children. Prefer someone who is CPR certified. I have 5 children ages 11, 6, 4, and 10month old twins. The older kids are pretty self-sufficient and are very well behaved. Times needed would vary. Please be able to provide references if asked."

Get some fucking birth control.

7/7/2008 6:12:14 PM

<a href="http://s37.photobucket.com/albums/e73/imperfectphoto/?action=view¤t=kyle-1.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e73/imperfectphoto/kyle-1.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

7/7/2008 7:06:15 PM

^

7/7/2008 7:06:47 PM

http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e73/imperfectphoto/kyle-1.jpg

7/7/2008 7:06:50 PM

damn, that babysitter would make bank.

7/7/2008 7:07:12 PM

Yes, but call it a sneaking suspicion that this is a mom who is probably going to offer $8 an hour, lives in a trailer, and has 4 dogs.

I.e., has unrealistic expectations, given what they'll want to pay.

7/7/2008 7:10:13 PM

Quote :

"SPECIAL WEEKEND OF EROTIC TRANNYS IN TOWN-- 2GIRLS 1 GUY - 34 (GREENSBORO OR RAL ) Reply to: pers-707560755@craigslist.org Date: 2008-06-04, 2:49PM EDT SPECIAL WEEKEND OF EROTIC TRANNYS IN TOWN-- 2GIRLS 1 GUY SPECIAL THIS WEEKEND ONLY- EROTIC TRANNYS IN TOWN WE ARE REAL AND IN TOWN FOR JUST THIS WEEKEND Hey there guys T4m m4t Please be real and sincere when you write to us. We are in Raleigh this weekend for a sexy show at a local club. We get off at 700 pm on sat and Friday. If you would like to join us for an evening of erotic and sensual delights then we would like to have you join us for an erotic evening. You will need to come to Raleigh this weekend and get a nice hotel room so we can be comfortable and have a wonderfully erotic time with you. We travel together and we are both very sexy and sensual. You will need to come here to Raleigh so we can meet and have fun Please include a pic and a # so we can call you and have fun. No charges or games. We are real and will only be here this weekend. Please be real and sincere when you wirte back. we can not travel to you because of the show, but we would love to meet you. write a real letter an we will give you all the info on where we can meet. THIS WEEKEND ONLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 "

7/7/2008 7:22:58 PM

The trannies are too much
WOW

7/7/2008 7:29:00 PM

Quote :

"I have some Good News! Now with even lower standards! (Triangle Area) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: pers-745467670@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-07, 11:20AM EDT I’m a 27yr (old/young) dude with an insatiable appetite for women (24-38). However, due to the shortage of quality women in the Greater Triangle Area, the following categories of unforgivable qualities have been promoted/upgraded to "potential relationship material" for me: -Liars -Cheaters -Daily pot smokers -My intellectual inferiors -Dirty, smelly coffee shop poets -Barflies -Possessive types -Men haters -Women old enough to be my mom -Lawyers -People who can't spell and refuse to use spell check -Alcoholics -Negative, angry types -Politicians/the criminally insane -Smokers who pretend to be non-smokers -Vain, self-centered artists -Drama queens -"Business professional" corporate capitalists who drive fancy cars -Free loaders -The insecure -Misers -Humorless "business" types -Egomaniacs -Poseurs -Infantiles who blame everyone else for their problems -Narcissists -Bad kissers -The fiscally irresponsible Hope to hear from you soon! "

7/7/2008 8:02:33 PM

cannibal... I like it

7/7/2008 8:05:25 PM

are there any types of women he hasn't precluded?

7/7/2008 8:12:39 PM

Quote :

"Hispanic Wife wanted!! - 54 (Raleigh) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: pers-744639688@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-06, 4:19PM EDT I am a white male 54 years old. I look ten years younger i have been told. I go to the gym reguarly and keep in shape. I would like to meet a Hispanic lady who knows how to treat her man. Preferably in her thirties with thin to athletic build. If you are interested in meeting a great guy i would love to talk to you. I love Hispanic women. My intentions are honest and admirable. I am looking for a wife."

7/7/2008 8:17:35 PM

Quote :

"need girl to please teach me to kiss - m4w Originally Posted: Sun, 6 Jul 22:22 EDT need girl to please teach me to kiss - m4w Date: 2008-07-06, 10:22PM EDT As seen on TV! I'm a 20 yearold GA Tech student who has never kissed. I have been going out with a girl online for the last 5 years and she's finally coming down to see me on the 11th. She tells me it's a big turn-off if a guy doesn't know how to kiss, and she even dumped her last boyfriend because of this. I want to make a good first impression, but I've never kissed before! Please, I need a girl to practice kissing with, nothing else!! Just kissing lesson - nothing more nothing less! Some have asked if I have terrible oral hygiene or something of that sort, so I included a picture of me showing my teeth! I'm pretty normal overall. Will send more pics on request! Email me at mmccarty3 at gatech dot edu Never been kissed "

lolz

7/8/2008 11:01:47 AM

^dating a girl online for 5 years?

what is that in real time, like a month?

7/8/2008 11:05:51 AM

no fucking way.

7/8/2008 11:18:21 AM

[Edited on April 14, 2010 at 11:11 PM. Reason : .]

7/8/2008 7:34:50 PM

Serial killer

7/8/2008 11:20:27 PM

Quote :

"I'm a 20 yearold GA Tech student who has never kissed. "

one of my fellow REUs here is from GA Tech, and says that the guy:girl ratio is absolutely horrible, its 25% chicks over the entire school

7/9/2008 12:12:04 AM

MODICUM

OF

TRUST

7/9/2008 3:45:57 AM

Quote :

"Free black love seat (Pineville) Reply to: sale-743886645@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-05, 7:57PM EDT Ok, this is an odd love seat. It is black, with a gold metalic trim. Has a black fabric patch on it. I don't want it. It is free to whoever will come get it off my front porch. No awkward conversation needed. Just show up, take it, and go. Can't get much easier than that. I will put it out when you email me to claim it. Drunken morons not included. "

I will put it out when you email me...

come on Tdub

7/9/2008 8:48:57 PM

http://eastnc.craigslist.org/spo/752551147.html

never fail to underestimate the stupidity of common white trash

7/14/2008 1:32:53 PM

Quote :

"Black man seeking white women to be my girl for the summer time Reply to: pers-756215060@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-15, 3:22PM EDT i am the future , yall stil in the past, iwas born flashy, cockier than kanye west on hios best day i love been black , but no black woman could make me look at her on her best day i love white women eat them out like cake, hahaha white cake get it "

7/15/2008 4:28:55 PM

Quote :

"Black man looking for couples for oral sex - m4mw - 70 (Fuquay & Else where) Reply to: pers-756285400@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-15, 4:11PM EDT Hello couples, I'm a 70 year old black man with plenty of experience giving oral sex. I would like to meet a nice clean white couple over the age of 45 to pleasure. I love performing oral sex, especially on that sweet lady's body part. If you would like to know more about me, please e-mail me ASAP. Oh, I'm D/D free. 6'1, 250, married, but very discreet and very clean. My wife isn't into anything sexually, so I must look else where. I'm free day time hours between 11:00 AM and 7:00 PM most days and weekends. Thank you."

7/15/2008 7:54:24 PM

^ I don't think he has any legs...

7/15/2008 8:02:05 PM

Quote :

"Doormat seeks muddy boots -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2008-07-10, 12:20PM PDT Do you have a drinking problem? Do you believe your crappy childhood exempts you from having to be nice to other people? Is "enraged" the only emotion you are capable of feeling? Do you make twice as much as me, yet still need to borrow money a week after you get paid? If so, I am the lady for you! I'm a queer femme who enjoys being yelled at, ignored, and told what is best for me. I'm short, thin (maybe that will trigger your teenage eating disorder issues! Feel free to blame me!), and smart (unless you find that threatening! In which case I am not as smart as you!). I do have clinical depression, which I manage with medication and, ideally, a steady supply of judgment from you. I'm looking to continue along my current dating path with someone who is immature, unpleasant, and bad at listening. Bonus points if you: -fetishize my mixed-race background, use it to impress your liberal white friends, and know exactly what "my people" are doing wrong -make "ironic" racist jokes -are a spoiled-ass mama's boy -have no friends of your own, preferring to use me for all of your emotional needs (if you must have your own friends, I would rather you use them to cheat on me and/or commiserate about what a terrible girlfriend I am) -hate fat people (although I am not fat myself, I love it when people rip on my friends and expect me to agree because of my genetics) -understand that being an asshole and apologizing for it later is exactly the same as not being an asshole in the first place -use "non-normatively gendered" as a synonym for "teeming with internalized misogyny" Hopefully we can build a lasting relationship and maybe move in together so that you can decorate the apartment with old beer cans filled with cigarette butts and containers of half-eaten takeout food covered in fruit flies. Don't worry, I'll clean up after you. I'd prefer if you are white and middle-class so you can lord it over me all the time. Physical age unimportant as long as you are emotionally 9 years old. Your pic gets mine!!! "

hooray for updating the "best of" section

7/17/2008 4:34:26 PM

you see, it's a girl like that that IS attractive (IMO), because she's obviously smart and witty...if it were really a woman, and i really was single, and i really turned to craigslist to meet women...i'd totally send her a picture

7/17/2008 5:04:16 PM

New best of

Quote :

"Ok, so people often ask, where are the good kind people anymore? Driving on Mt.Rose Hwy, and serving our communties is where! So I'm coming home to Reno on my motorcycle Saturday Evening after a short ride up to the top and back down cuz it was too smokey up there, somewhere around 8pm I think? Anyways... Near the bottom, I hit some oil, gravel, not sure what... but even as an experienced rider for some 30+ years, made my bike wobble so bad, I eventually lost control after doing everything I could try to do to keep it up. From what I hear, might have even hit a guard rail at some point during the crash, no memory so not sure, all I do know is next thing I'm on the pavement in a ton of pain. Rolling in the road I think... Stranger #1 - Then, there was a hand... holding mine, comforting me thru my gloves... Kept hearing a voice that I think was female telling me "everything was gonna be ok" and "help is on the way". Couldn't really open my eyes much, that's why I'm not sure if it was male or female, but it didn't really matter at that point, ya know? I just know 'till the day I die, I will forever remember how comforting it felt to know that "if" I was gonna die then, someone was gonna be holding my hand while it happened and I would not die alone on some road tasting asphalt. You have no idea what that meant to me, still does, and always will. You probably also have no idea how much gratitude I would like to express to you for the comfort you gave me, a complete stranger, when I really, REALLY needed it. I just remember your hand, rubbing mine and your soft, kind, compassionate words letting me know, someone cared. You didn't just drive by, you took time out of your Holiday weekend to help me - some fat ass biker guy that some here on CL wish we would all crash and die. Stranger #2 No clue who this was either, but someone called police/ambulance, etc. super quick and there they were, hot on the spot within minutes. (felt like minutes to me anyways, damn quick!), can't thank you enough and damn glad ya had signal...hahaha! Stranger #3 Again, same as the others, no idea who you were, but I heard someone else say something I think about removing my helmet. In my mind I was thinking please, please don't do that, but I couldn't say it. But you could and did, you spoke up and advised against it. Damn I am glad there are people like you who know better and again, my sincere appreciation and grattitude to you as well. Strangers #4, 5, 6, 7, 8, etc.. To all the police firemen/women, ambulance drivers, person in the back of the ambulance.. to all of you emergency responder type people who showed up who did whatever it was you had been trained to do, and loaded me on some kind of back board or something I think, and then put my big ol' self in the ambulance and got me to Renown so quickly - my most humble thanks and appreciation as well. I know you were "just doing your jobs", but damn you do them well! You will NEVER hear me bitch about your pay raises or what it costs for the absolute QUALITY services you provide our community! I do know of one policeman or hwy patrolmen who I think arranged to have my bike towed and visited me in the ER letting me know it's condition and where it had been towed to, cuz he put his badge number on my insurance paper, as I get better in the next few days I would like to find you and thank you in person since I have a clue on maybe how to find you from the badge #. You also gathered my personal belongings I had on the bike that would have been stolen for sure. (cam corder, etc..) Yes, I know, small things to worry about in that moment, but you made sure I didn't have to, again, thank you for going out of your way for my needs. To all the Dr.s, Nurses, and whoever else was working in that ER room, my eternal thanks and grattitude as well. Man I was hurting, them ribs are a bitch when smashed, but you folks all again, did what you were trained to do in the finest proffesional manner (even on the embarssing stuff) and I just knew from all your demeanors, I was gonna be ok. I am sure there are some typos and mis-spellings in this post, forgive me as i am on some pretty strong pills for pain, but i just got to my computer and wanted to get these thank yous out as soon as possible. All of you people just really have no clue what your kindness and compassion meant, and means to me even now.I would like to let you all know, that from your kindess, skills and so on... I'm going to be ok. Could have been a lot worse, but thanks to good people like you, a damn fine helmet and a little luck, both I and the bike are fixable. If there is any chance of any of you "unknowns" letting me know who you are, I would greatly like to thank you all in person, if that's not your style, I respect that and just know you meant alot to one hurting, scared guy, yeah... I was scared I'll admitt to it no problem! Last and not forgotten in any way, once I was admitted to the 3rd floor, all the Nurses, CNA's, Orderlies, people waking me up every few hours to check my vitals and stuff, I also sincerely thank you, but since I know how to re-find you all, i will be seeing you again in person to thank you properly, especially Melissa, a nurse or CNA not sure, but one awesome lady I did not have enough time to thank properly today as I left! I really wish I could have stayed and healed longer as today really ended up hurting, but you know why I had to leave. You friggin ROCK! "

7/17/2008 5:42:50 PM

Holy shit.

This is the best one I've ever seen.

7/17/2008 5:55:59 PM

Quote :

"Typist wanted for small project (Greenville) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Reply to: sale-759203261@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-17, 6:23PM EDT I am looking for someone to type approximately 60 handwritten pages into Microsoft Word and burn the document to a CD. I will pay $30 for the completed job. Please email if interested. "

$.50 /page, huh?

7/18/2008 9:35:06 AM

^^Interesting

7/18/2008 9:59:16 AM

^^^ I loved that

7/18/2008 10:18:31 AM

^^^^that was great...not what I expected from this thread, but great.

7/18/2008 10:46:18 AM

Wow I actually read that whole essay. Nothing short of amazing haha.

7/18/2008 11:08:25 AM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/wan/760660162.html

Quote :

"I am looking cleen dear corn for my feeders around six to seven dollars per 50lb bag."

7/18/2008 8:33:52 PM

^7
nothing short of amazing

7/18/2008 8:59:00 PM

I can't believe he got a D on that.

7/18/2008 9:25:00 PM

^^"dear" *carlface*

7/18/2008 10:09:00 PM

Really enjoyed reading that, best thing I've seen in a while. Thanks for posting.

7/18/2008 10:12:10 PM

hey do any people on craigslist just want to cuddle?

7/18/2008 10:38:10 PM

Quote :

"TAMA - m4w - 35 (Alas, Goodbye) Reply to: pers-760410391@craigslist.org Date: 2008-07-18, 4:42PM EDT Today would have marked a year, and even though you are not near, my eyes do not shed a tear, my head does not crave a beer, my heart does not hold fear, in fact, I think I heard it cheer, because my mind once again is clear. Different paths are our fate. If they cross I will not grate, My love never turns to hate when I lose a perfect mate. Down these paths we both must steer, and in my heart I will always hear, the words you sent that made it clear, and to my eyes brought a tear. Although the love is what we shear, that loss is not what brought the tear, it was the friendship that I held dear. Too Bad....So Sad. Take Care Byeeee "

7/19/2008 9:39:59 AM

^you love craigslist because of that??

seriously?

7/19/2008 12:05:49 PM