http://raleigh.craigslist.org/roo/1691283611.html

Quote :

"Because we enjoy good conversation as much as the next person, do not bother applying if your SAT score was below 1300/1600. "

4/14/2010 1:40:46 AM

Quote :

" Free Metal Bra (40/42,garner) Date: 2010-04-14, 9:30AM EDT Reply to: sale-vdkfk-1691549971@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] size small.located 2 miles from exit 312 in garner. "

4/14/2010 10:04:23 AM

hahaha i was just about to post that

4/14/2010 10:04:55 AM

4/14/2010 10:06:52 AM

When 2 friends of mine got married last summer, I listed a lot of stuff on craigslist with their phone numbers. A Brand New Wii for $125, a 42" LCD TV for $300, a Toyota truck that happened to be just like his for a fantastic price, same for her car, etc etc.

After they got back a week and a half later, their voicemailboxes were full from people wanting to buy nonexistent stuff.

Good times.

4/14/2010 12:39:59 PM

^THAT IS SUCH AN ORIGINAL IDEA

4/16/2010 8:10:50 AM

Quote :

"There Is A Wormhole In My Garage - $125 (Raleigh) Date: 2010-05-03, 12:37PM EDT Reply to: sale-nhedr-1722298631@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] Yep. A wormhole. So what does this have to do with bikes? Read on… So the other day this wormhole opens up in the corner of my garage. Yeah, like a for-real gateway to far-flung places wormhole. At first I didn’t know what it was so I had to investigate. So, obviously if a hole in the space-time continuum suddenly appears in your garage, what’s the first thing you do? Yep. Throw s**t into it and see what happens. At least that was my thought 4 beers into the afternoon. So I started throwing random crap into the wormhole to see what would happen – stuff went in but it didn’t come out. Amusing at first but that got boring pretty quickly. Anyhow, I was getting hungry so I stacked some boxes around it to keep the dog out and went inside for dinner. The next day I decided to be more ‘scientific’ about seeing what the deal was with this thing. Hey, I’ve seen a lot of bad sci-fi TV and I wasn’t about to be stupid the first go-round with some sort of space-time anomaly (see: Sliders, Primeval, Et. al.). So, I took a radio-controlled car and taped a camcorder to it as send that bad boy through. Let it tape for a bit, then drove it back through the anomaly. So what did it see, you may ask? Fantastical alien worlds? Advanced civilization on the edge of the galaxy? The future? The past? Nope. Just Earth. And all of the random s**t I tossed through. But it’s not our Earth. It’s some sort of parallel-universe Earth (wow, ‘Sliders’ was right. Hooray for bad TV). So now for the next step – time for me to go over. Yes, I went through (Again, what does this have to do with bikes? I’m getting to that.). So much for excitement, it’s just regular ol’ Earth. Pretty much the same as our Earth except that Bret Michaels is president. Second term no less. Turns out he’s some sort of economic and foreign policy genius. Who knew? Won the Nobel Prize as well. 3 times. Really. Legitimately. Twice for Peace (mid-east, and Sri Lanka), and once for Economics. His Stabilized Latent Unicapitalization Theory (SLUT) is now the basis for all first, second, and third world economic policy. The first lady however is another story. Bret being Bret, well, we all know he has a penchant for skanks and the first lady is no exception – apparently she was the winner of ‘Prez of Love II – Do it 4 UR Country’ so Bret married her (the winner of the first ‘Prez of Love’ apparently ate Vicodin like it was PEZ so she got the boot). But anyhow, I digress, so when I stepped over everything was fine except when I tried to return. It seems like there is some sort of unidirectional velocity component when wormholes open up and you need to return at a higher speed from whence you came in. Since the RC car was booking it back through at top speed, it made it, but when I tried to go through, I got stopped. So, I gave it some thought and realized that I need to go through at a higher rate of speed (ala bicycle) in order to return. Soooooo, I got a job (needed it, my $$$ was no good. Tommy Lee is on the $20 in ‘alternate’ Earth so I needed some local flow), and bought a bike on Leonardlist (‘alternate’ Earth Craigslist equivalent) to henceforth return to my own reality. Actually, I’ve made multiple trips so now I have more than one bike. I do however, need $$$ to pay a friend of mine to close the wormhole since it has become somewhat of a nuisance. I worry I may lose the dog one day (already lost the cat). He’s working on a PhD in high-energy physics and needs to rent some equipment to close it. So please buy my bikes and support my wormhole closure effort: Giant Rincon, 18” frame size, fully serviced by a for-real bike mechanic and ready to ride. Has had a COMPLETE tune-up and servicing (including hubs and headset). $115 Specialized Hardrock GX 13” frame size, fully serviced for-real bike mechanic and ready to ride. Has had a COMPLETE tune-up and servicing (including hubs and headset). $125 Or buy both for $225 Both bikes are in perfect working order and are guaranteed to possess a quantum resonance signature unique to an alternate Earth reality. I will accept REASONABLE offers only in person – no email haggling. Cash only, or some sort of combination of cash and really good Belgian Beer (and no, Stella Artois does not count). "

he gets an A for effort.

5/3/2010 5:23:49 PM

Quote :

"This is chewey a 3 month old cavapoo puppy. I lost one of my peekapoo's and got chewey as a playmate for my other peekapoo dasiey but they dont get along dasiey's does not like her here at all & I dont no what else to do I really dont want to but I need to find chewey a new home. She is not spayed but does have her first set of shots. I will be pickey on where she goes because I do what this to be her forever home she loves cats but if you have a dog I want them to meet a couple times first at your house and mine I dont want this to happen again. All I'm asking is $100 rehomeing fee & vet ref. Email and tell me about your familey and home & I will get back to you today to set up a time to meet her if I dont feel good about it she will not go so dont waist my time if you just want her to resell her. Dont bother with a three word email. "

SWEET MERCIFUL RAMBLING THOUGHTS
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/pet/1723779725.html
it is a cute dog, though. I can see Joie wanting it.

5/4/2010 10:29:20 AM

^wish it wasn't flagged!

5/5/2010 7:25:57 PM

i wonder if that metal bra is one of zac's....

5/5/2010 7:27:26 PM

^don't think so.
doesn't look like the same time of links and i highly doubt someone would give one of his away considering how much they cost....

5/5/2010 7:28:58 PM

yeah.

and his stuff is of better quality than that too.

5/5/2010 7:30:51 PM

ahahaha

Quote :

"You must be over 75 - mw4w - 2628 (Downtown Raleigh) Date: 2010-05-11, 1:20PM EDT Reply To This Post OK here is what we are looking for, I am the female half of a married couple, I am 28 and my husband is 26. We've had a few discussions about what our sex life will be like when we are in our 70's and he say's he will still love me and want to have wild sex with me no matter how old we are. So to prove if he is correct, we are looking for a woman in her 70's who wants to sleep with a very hot man, 6' 1" 195 pounds, brown hair, light blue eyes and very well defined body, plus a rock hard 9 inch cock. I am bi and have always fantasized about being with a much older woman too, so if you want to take a chance and have a fun threesome with a young healthy couple please get in touch with us. Let me make this very clear, nobody under 70, we prefer white, we known your not going to be in perfect shape, just be HWP for your age, you don't have to have sex with me (the wife) but I might want to go down on you. You must however be willing to have sex with my hot husband. Part of the agreement is he must also kiss you with tongue and go down on you until you cum. No men, no couples, no young girls (we don't care how hot you are). thanks "

I have flagged it for best of.

5/11/2010 5:40:23 PM

lol

5/11/2010 5:44:12 PM

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/66795671.html

Quote :

" In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys. 1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they?re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I?ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE. 2.) They?re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it?s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself. 3.) They?re more romantic than they?re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends. 4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ?em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ?em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too. 5.) They?ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing? 6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it?ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they?re more attentive than guys who ?have more options?. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they?ll likely have mental lists of all the things they?d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend. 7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I?m not really familiar with this myself, but I?ve friends who?ve been intimate with geek guys and it?s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination. 8.) They?re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you?re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza? 9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won?t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his ?groove? on with club hotties because, frankly, he?ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won?t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he?ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I?ve seen this happen. Me: ?Eww. Victoria Secret?s Models... They?re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!? Geek Guy: ?ooooooo...? Me: ?Hey!? *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store* Geek Guy: ?What?? Me: ?Never mind...? 10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you?ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he?ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn?t want to go someplace with you, you won?t have to worry much about what he?s up to. You?ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It?s ok. He?s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light. 11.) His friends aren?t jerks. I can?t stress this enough. You?ll more likely get ?Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!? than ?Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...? They?re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream). 12.) They?re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won?t care. He does too! They won?t get pissy if you don?t wear make-up or don?t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won?t try their best to make you feel like crap. 13.) They?re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won?t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he?ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce... 14.) You?ll almost never have to hear, ?Yaw dawg whazzap!!? plop out of their mouths. Unless it?s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get ?wasted?, so you won?t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps... 15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that?s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than ?DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!? Believe me."

5/12/2010 2:20:52 PM

i will now take applications for a nerd bf

5/12/2010 2:22:40 PM

APPLICATION SUBMITTED FOOL.

5/12/2010 2:26:42 PM

application DENIED

[Edited on May 12, 2010 at 2:30 PM. Reason : fml when did I hit 5000 posts!? ]

5/12/2010 2:29:32 PM

oh snap

5/12/2010 2:30:20 PM

I DIDN'T SUBMIT THE APPLICATION TO DDK FOOL. I SUBMITTED IT TO CRAIGSLIST.

We all know my cock is too large for her. Only real women can handle it son.

5/12/2010 2:31:23 PM

I LOVE MY NERD BOYFRIEND!

5/12/2010 2:57:53 PM

^ OMG OMG ME TOO!!!

5/12/2010 2:58:13 PM

I would like to submit my application for nerd boyfriend. Also I am awesome.

5/12/2010 4:33:06 PM

Pfft.

I <3 my nerd husband. I think punchmonk would also agree with this sentiment.

Quote :

"mom of 11 need help (n raleigh) Date: 2010-05-13, 1:52PM EDT Reply to: see below my power bill of 1112.78 is due today,looking for total strangers on cl to come through for me as you always do also, need new bed, as mine is worn out if you know what i mean will check back every 30 seconds for all generous offers have a blessed day "

From the wanted section lol ♥

5/13/2010 2:05:25 PM

I have determined Craigslist makes me ask one question over and over again..

What the H is wrong with people?!

OH and the end of this made me lol:

Quote :

"Houston, TX for Raleigh, NC? (Houston & Raleigh) Date: 2010-05-11, 1:34AM EDT Reply to: hous-3bucv-1734839483@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] My Husband and I have a three bedroom, 2.5 bath, two story house in Houston, TX. It's new, clean, and in a nice part of town. We have a fenced in backyard and neighborhood pool, playground, and bike paths. Housetrained pets are welcome. We will be out of Texas until August, spending most of that time in Raleigh. I know it is far fetched, but if anyone is in the opposite situation, please email us. We don't mind living in an apartment instead. Serious inquiries only and if you have any shady motives in mind, don't bother. We're both attorneys. "

5/13/2010 2:07:52 PM

^

that's a pretty common practice.

5/13/2010 2:11:09 PM

lol yeah right
http://raleigh.craigslist.org/wan/1739432653.html

Quote :

"I need a loan or cosigner please! - $20 Date: 2010-05-13, 4:54PM EDT Reply to: sale-a4a5h-1739432653@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] I am trying to get a cosmetic loan really hard, but have no credit yet. I will pay it just either need a cosigner and will give like 20 when approved. or somebody to loan the money and just have written contract to pay back. please let me know. "

5/13/2010 5:09:50 PM

http://greensboro.craigslist.org/sls/1740720904.html

yes. this seems very christian like. i wonder if they are praying to end cancer?! AND making money off of it!


WHAT how was this under jobs ahahaha.
http://greensboro.craigslist.org/trd/1740472015.html


[Edited on May 15, 2010 at 8:48 PM. Reason : .]

5/15/2010 8:47:41 PM

Rabble:

Sunday night, I posted an ad for free shit: my extra seedlings. I gave my address, and clearly indicated what was up for grabs: ONLY the seedlings in a certain container, and that the container wasn't up for grabs, either.

Guy comes and gets stuff @ ~740am Monday. I delete the ad while he's still there.

Sometime Tuesday or Wednesday, someone comes and digs up some of my plants from my yard and takes them. WTFMATE

5/15/2010 9:01:47 PM

why did you give your address in the ad

5/15/2010 9:02:41 PM

shouldn't put your addy up on CL dur de dur

5/15/2010 9:02:43 PM

1) it's a pretty common practice
2) I fucking HATE dealing with the people who respond to ads in the free section:

HAY IS THIS STILL AVAILABLE (sometimes multiple times from the same person/people)
HAY WHAT YOU GOT I WANT IT
PLEASE HOLD THIS FOR ME
ILL TAKE IT THANKS AND GOD BLESS
[misc spam]
...Those are >90% of all responses.


The free section bottomfeeders are the reason I now donate damn near everything to charity, instead of trying to give it away.

5/15/2010 9:05:16 PM

should asked me if i wanted them instead then

5/15/2010 9:05:59 PM

http://raleigh.craigslist.org/crs/1742650016.html

WINNER

5/16/2010 11:00:37 AM

^

Quote :

"Your very own still photos "cime to life" to talk and sing my original songs to you. View the sample vids: http://www.youtube.com/user/IN10SSSEXPRESSIONS "

hoooooly shit.

5/16/2010 11:25:59 AM

Quote :

"1) it's a pretty common practice "

its the most frowned appon of all of CL. im glad they took all your plants. people get so pissed off when they miss shit that they take it out on te poster.

maye you have learned your lesson. if you dont want to deal with the people and bs then dont fucking post

5/16/2010 11:33:16 AM

Now how is it someone's right to the free stuff posted? It is sad that people will get that upset about $5 worth of free stuff, to the point that the fell they need to get revenge on the one posting free stuff.

5/16/2010 11:37:05 AM

Quote :

"Rabble: Sunday night, I posted an ad for free shit: my extra seedlings. I gave my address, and clearly indicated what was up for grabs: ONLY the seedlings in a certain container, and that the container wasn't up for grabs, either. Guy comes and gets stuff @ ~740am Monday. I delete the ad while he's still there. Sometime Tuesday or Wednesday, someone comes and digs up some of my plants from my yard and takes them. WTFMATE"

ahahahaha what the hell.

In the future use freecycle for stuff like that. People on there generally seem less retarded.

[Edited on May 16, 2010 at 11:40 AM. Reason : x]

5/16/2010 11:39:57 AM

Quote :

" its the most frowned appon of all of CL."

STFU and put that cock back in your mouth.

Once you've done that, go take a look at the free section and see how many addresses there are.

People do sometimes get frustrated by curb alerts, but my theory on that is that they're the retards who see a table listed in fuquay, leave durham to go get it, and it's gone when they get there. I.e., they're retarted. I.e., you and your girlfriend probably call those people your kith and kin.

^I hope freecycle has changed since I last looked at it (admittedly, that was like 5 years ago). I wasn't interested in joining something that will flood my damn inbox, but I'll give it a shot. (I have a crapton more stuff to donate and give away )

5/16/2010 12:05:55 PM

I just set it to mail me a daily digest of what gets posted. Some days I browse it and some days I just trash it

5/16/2010 12:07:44 PM

I opted for web-only

Reading over all the materials now, it's very plain why this is going to be much better than craigslist

5/16/2010 12:15:44 PM

i'm having fun today...so, as is inevitable, when you post something like a laptop on CL, you get people offering you less than your asking price...which is fine, i do that all the time and i almost never offer (or pay) what people are asking for their items

but when they offer you a QUARTER of your asking, along with the "I AM SORRRY FOR THIS BUT I ONLY HAVE 200 HNDRD DOLARS WILL YOU PLEASE SELL TO ME", i can't help but decide to play along

i would never go so far as to have any of them drive somewhere to meet me because that's horribly mean, but i really enjoy telling them that i'd be happy to sell to them...and then with each correspondence, i change the price, or tell them i'll do a price plus a certain item or whatever...anything to keep them strung along

this one woman (or man?) is really getting upset that i haven't provided a number or a place/time to meet yet, since she (or he?) really NEEDS this laptop

that is all

5/24/2010 2:17:47 PM

You lead a sad life

5/24/2010 2:18:38 PM

Quote :

"i would never go so far as to have any of them drive somewhere to meet me because that's horribly mean"

But yeah playing games and keeping them "strung" along isn't horribly mean? Wow.

5/24/2010 2:21:57 PM

never

ever

post your home address

on motherfucking craigslist

never

5/24/2010 2:24:25 PM

Quote :

"You lead a sad life...at work"

fixed it for you

Quote :

"But yeah playing games and keeping them "strung" along isn't horribly mean? Wow."

correct.

5/24/2010 2:36:25 PM

[Edited on May 24, 2010 at 2:37 PM. Reason : [dblpoast]]

5/24/2010 2:37:01 PM

rationalize all you want, but the vast majority of people find ways to entertain themselves at work without being a huge dick to other people.

5/24/2010 2:41:38 PM

wait...you won't...LIKE ME if i string along lying douchebag craigslisters?

OH NOES! WHATEVER WILL I DO?

5/24/2010 2:43:26 PM

regardless of whether you care what I think about you or whether people on craigslist are retards,
you're still rationalizing your unethical behavior which is hilarious given all the judgmental nonsense and moralizing you do on this site.

5/24/2010 2:46:17 PM