I can kind of understand where the parents are coming from. These days you often don't know the parents of your kids' friends all that well, so you don't know if they're some sort of psycho that would sue you because their kid got hurt while being a kid. But in that case you should be vetting the parents to make sure they're not crazy, not having them sign waivers.

5/8/2012 9:12:30 AM

If you don't know the parents well enough for this to be an issue, why are your kids at their house unsupervised?

5/8/2012 9:59:55 AM

Quote :

"If you don't know the parents well enough for this to be an issue, why are your kids at their house unsupervised? "

I agree, if I didn't know the parents of a child very well I probably would not invite that child over to my house without their parents being present.

5/8/2012 11:30:23 AM

wat

5/8/2012 2:42:33 PM

Think about it. If you know the parents, you should know if they are reasonable people. You wouldn't have to worry about the parents suing you because their kid broke their arm running across your yard or because you fed them cocoa puffs or some other madness. If you don't know the parents at all, you have no idea what you're setting yourself up for. Some parents are just fucking weird as I can attest to during my years of teaching. It seems the smarter solution would be to make sure you get to know the parents of kids your kids are friends of rather than handing out waivers at birthday parties.

5/8/2012 3:23:31 PM

Question about Mother's Day: Since this is her first Mother's Day I want to get her a gift. I know that she likes shoes and jewelry, but she has always returned what I surprise her with. So, since I am musical person and she is not, I was thinking about getting her a Ukulele to learn how to play music for the baby. Is this a good idea, or is it a cop out?

5/11/2012 2:13:43 PM

Ask her what she wants, get that, add flowers.

5/11/2012 4:21:38 PM

If she's not a musical person & she JUST had a baby, I'm guessing she won't have much interest in learning a new instrument any time soon. It kinda sounds more like you're buying yourself a gift instead. That's just my opinion though.

5/11/2012 5:10:14 PM

I am so terrible at this. Partly because I don't believe in the whole "you have to buy a gift for somebody" holidays. Such bullshit.

5/11/2012 5:45:49 PM

just think of it as a day to appreciate everything she does/has done/will do as the mother to your child. that feels a little more deserving of a token of appreciation than just being a year older.

5/11/2012 7:33:54 PM

Mother's Day is not hard. Cook her breakfast in bed, clean the kitchen when you're done, and give her some flowers. Doing other chores you don't usually do is also a good gift.

5/11/2012 8:40:41 PM

Sleep is the most precious gift you can give a new mom. A clean house is also pretty awesome.

On my first mother's day, my husband picked up dinner and asked for an extra take out container. When I unpacked dinner, I found a pair of diamond earrings in the extra container. It was super sweet.

5/11/2012 9:25:24 PM

as a musical person I would fucking love that mother's day gift. if I wasn't i'd probably be pissed at you for trying to force your hobbies on to me after i just pushed your baby out. it'll sit around gathering dust unless you pick it up and play it, but then it will be like homer getting marge a bowling ball for her birthday.

5/11/2012 10:28:07 PM

Thanks TWW!

I exed the ukulele and went with a necklace and a hat.

5/15/2012 9:59:10 AM

almost 2 weeks in to being a parent, it's hard for me to remember what life was like before... i always thought i would miss my previous life, but things like changing poopy diapers don't bother me one bit!

5/15/2012 3:57:50 PM

^ I push off the changing diapers duties much more than I should. But the whole having a 5 AM alarm clock every morning is super sweet! It has totally increased my productivity at work because I get in about 1.5 h earlier/

5/15/2012 7:57:33 PM

Quote :

"almost 2 weeks in to being a parent, it's hard for me to remember what life was like before... i always thought i would miss my previous life, but things like changing poopy diapers don't bother me one bit!"

Once you get used to the adjusted sleep schedule newborns are essentially cruise control.

And then the whining starts. And the potty training. And the 27 thousand dollars a year on childcare.

Not saying I'd trade it for anything, but I do sometimes think back longingly when we could just up and take a weekend trip to Vegas because no reason.

5/16/2012 10:19:58 AM

It seriously blows my mind how expensive daycare is in this area. I was talking to my dad about it the other day and he was telling me back when my sister and I were daycare age they spent $600/month for both of us. Granted that was the late-80s but even adjusting for inflation I don't think you could find good daycare that cheap around here.

5/16/2012 10:26:06 AM

yeah i was shocked at the prices my friends were finding for their little boy to go part time. nuts!

5/16/2012 11:32:23 AM

it runs about $130-140/week here in rocky mount & nashville. how does that compare to raleigh?

5/16/2012 11:35:47 AM

When we have our first kid, I am hoping that we can pay a friend of ours to babysit. She has a ~1 year old, and quit her job as a nurse to stay at home with her son. They were recently saying money is tight, and they're having to do without some of their hobbies. So, I'm hoping we can pay her the going rate for child care, she's happy to be bringing in money, and we get 1:2 care ratio instead of a daycare.

5/16/2012 11:39:12 AM

And that's why with my degree in HS English Ed and two young children, I stay at home. It just doesn't make a whole lot of sense for me to work. Not only do you cut out the expense of childcare, you also cut out the costs of gas, career clothes, lunch on the go, and the other costs of working outside of the home. Not to mention, you gain peace of mind and a lot less scheduling headache.

5/16/2012 11:41:35 AM

Raleigh if you want a place that isn't a death trap or does more with the kids than just sitting them in front of a TV, you're looking at $1100-$1500/month for an infant.

5/16/2012 2:08:23 PM

jesus christ. yeah, one of us would be staying home if it cost that much here.

5/16/2012 2:16:39 PM

Yeah I'm not sure what we'll do to be honest. Maybe I can convince my mom to do it for a nominal fee

5/16/2012 2:18:16 PM

Quote :

"When we have our first kid, I am hoping that we can pay a friend of ours to babysit. She has a ~1 year old, and quit her job as a nurse to stay at home with her son. They were recently saying money is tight, and they're having to do without some of their hobbies. So, I'm hoping we can pay her the going rate for child care, she's happy to be bringing in money, and we get 1:2 care ratio instead of a daycare."

When they're infants this is probably better but when they're a wee bit older, I'd try to squeeze in a day or two of daycare a week just for the socialization. I give massive credit to our daycare/preschool for how kind, sociable, and popular our daughter is.

5/16/2012 2:26:21 PM

^ I'm currently staying home - but I want to put him in half day preschool when he's 2 for the same reason...plus that's about the time we're thinking of having another baby and that'll give me some time at home with just the newborn.

5/16/2012 8:56:13 PM

So, any stay at home mom's who would be interested in taking care of a teacher's kid (teacher hours/schedule)... we are exploring all of our childcare options, and wanted to consider meeting with some other youngish/newish parents who might be interested.

5/17/2012 12:47:52 PM

Ok..so my son is now pulling himself up on everything. The issue is that as soon as I lay him down to sleep, he's pulling up on the crib slats. He has horrible balance still so as soon as he lets go he falls backward (and not on his butt but straight up backward fall - scares the butt out of me). He can be SOOOO tired, but just will not go to sleep. If I pull him down, he is right back up. The only thing that got him down for a nap today was a bottle - he fell asleep during it and I was able to gently place him in the crib. He's ALWAYS fought sleep hard, but sleeps great once down.

Suggestions? advice?

5/17/2012 1:20:56 PM

Ferber or bust, if he's like 4-5 months or older. It sucks, you'll want to kill yourself, but by the end of it everyone is happy.

Even now our son (just turned 1) will cry a little when you put him down but he cries when anything doesn't go his way nowadays.

[Edited on May 17, 2012 at 1:48 PM. Reason : .]

5/17/2012 1:44:59 PM

Quote :

"scares the butt out of me"

and that settles it. never wandering into this thread again or having children.

5/17/2012 3:32:53 PM

Quote :

"It sucks, you'll want to kill yourself, but by the end of it everyone is happy."

Totally worth it! Our boy just turned 1 in April, and he's a champ when it comes to bedtime. Around 6 months or so, we were able to get him sleeping through the night consistently. It was really difficult for a couple of nights, but we're so happy and so is he. Now it's like clockwork, goes down at 7pm without a peep, sleeps till after 7am. Sometimes he's not ready to go to sleep immediately, but he doesn't cry, just chills in the crib playing with his blabla doll and winding down. He's the man

5/17/2012 3:59:39 PM

^ That's what he was doing. I'd put him down around 7pm and he would lay there until he fell asleep. The issue now is the climbing. I'm hoping since it's new that eventually the newness will wear off and he'll just go to sleep. I usually let him cry for a few minutes (15 max) if he won't go to sleep, but my major concern now is the falling into the other side of the crib and knocking his head. I guess, short of a helmet or sitting in there with him all the time, there isn't much I can do about that.

5/17/2012 4:54:04 PM

If you're really concerned, you can put him in a play pen to sleep until he's a little more stable. With the mesh they cant really pull up easily and if they do they just hit netting.

5/17/2012 6:07:20 PM

^ good idea.. I may have to get the pack and play back from moms

5/17/2012 6:49:55 PM

Ours pulled up in his crib all the time and wouldn't go back to sleep unless we went in there and physically laid him back down. Then we just stopped going in and he's slept through the night since. My only advice is don't do what we did once he learns how to get back down on his own. This practice during sleeping hours should be temporary if you don't do what we did. Ours lasted 4 mos as a result.

One suggestion I read later was showing him how to get back down by patting on the mattress. No idea if that would actually work. But seriously once you see him able to get down on his own during the day, do NOT go in there. Ferber does work--did for us, but it's not for everyone.

[Edited on May 18, 2012 at 7:24 AM. Reason : ]

5/18/2012 7:20:52 AM

I don't think it'll take him too long to get his balance. I'm trying to teach how to sit down on his butt when I see him let go and start to lose balance. I'll feel better once he's accomplished this - then I can let him cry it out.

Ferber worked for us when he was crawling. He just had to cry for awhile to go to sleep.

5/18/2012 8:03:45 AM

I don't like cribs in general. I'm a huge proponent of the family bed, but because Amelia is small for her age and physical abilities, we have her sleeping at night in the pack n play. She's to small to be loose in the bed with us, but too mobile to keep in a cosleeper. She can get up on her knees in the pack n play , but not reach to pull up. We let her nap or play in our crib so it isn't foreign to her when she's with grandparents btw. But yeah, I think that a playpen temporarily may alleviate your worry. (Obviously, we're not Ferber parents.)

5/18/2012 8:59:02 AM

Yeah I get all the benefits of the family bed and attachment parenting and don't fault any parents for raising their kids how they see fit (short of abusing them).

But my kids are way too fidgety to sleep in my bed. That and other obvious reasons why I'd like to not have more than my wife and myself in the bed.

Little man's going to be climbing over the edge soon probably. Never had to deal with that with our daughter.

5/18/2012 9:03:01 AM

Well or son moved himself out of our bed by the age of two. He wanted his own big boy bed. Now he visits us either before he goes to bed or early in the morning.

5/18/2012 9:12:15 AM

We have our "2 week" checkup today with the pediatrician... The same doctor I went to when I was a kid

(Dr. Munt)

5/18/2012 12:27:52 PM

^good luck, dude!! I remember those seemingly constant appointments during the first few months. I remember being so excited/nervous to hear how much he weighed, how long he was, and his head size.

Now after a doc's appt. my family and friends will be like, "how big is he now?" to which I reply something along the lines of, "i don't remember... fuggin' huge!!"

5/18/2012 2:00:14 PM

thanks! she has grown a tremendous amount already in the two and a half weeks she has been here... she was fairly small to begin with. 6 pounds 7 ounces (the exact weight that I was when I was born!). I can't wait to see what she is at now.

5/18/2012 2:07:19 PM

I actually tried putting him in the bed with me yesterday, but he's way too interested in playing with my face, crawling on me, etc to sleep. Could be he's just not used to it but it was not working for us.

5/18/2012 2:23:48 PM

Things not to tell your wife:

"I love you and the baby, but I just haven't bonded with the kid to where I think that he is my son. You know, I just feel like he is your child that I adore and take care of."

5/21/2012 6:12:26 PM

Yeahhhhhh that's def one of those "don't say it out loud" things.

But you aren't alone...I know my husband felt that way about until our son was about 4 months old. He didn't say it until AFTER he felt like he had bonded with him

5/21/2012 7:13:24 PM

It's not just dads, y'know. Many women do not feel an immediate "magical" bond with their newborn. It's something that is often talked about as contributing to the feelings of guilt and inadequacy that are a part of post partum depression. We have motherhood built up in our minds to the point that it can be quite a blow when reality doesn't live up to our expectations.

I didn't immediately bond with my children. While I very much loved my children, it took me quite a bit of time to feel that awe inspiring connection that just gets you in the gut. It just takes me some time to see them as something more than just a needy mush ball, but once that happens. . .I don't even have words for the depth of my feelings for my 4 year old son. It's almost like your first love. . .I dunno. Anyway.

I think it's good to talk about the unspeakable or else no one knows that their feelings are totally normal

5/21/2012 8:11:20 PM

Yeah, but I can understand this not going well.

And then I dug a deeper whole by saying 'and he really doesn't look anything like me, and so that makes it harder but don't worry, I will spend more time with him and establish a connection".

5/21/2012 8:21:04 PM

Lol sounds like you missed out on, "What not to say to people unless you want to piss them off" 101

5/21/2012 8:50:07 PM

jesus man

5/21/2012 10:07:37 PM