Oh man, I totally felt this way with Maya and Joel. I bonded immediately with Orion for some reason.

I def was going through postpartum with Maya so I was so overwhelmed and felt so trapped with her at the beginning for prob about the first 8 months of her life and then I just snapped out of it.

I am now starting to bond with Joel. I was so overwhelmed with the idea of raising three kids, the fact that he weighed so much at birth also separated me from him for some reason (I think I felt like it was my fault he was so large and that just made him a spectacle and not the miracle that he is) , I had a hard time bonding with him because he didn't look like anyone in mine or Ken's family, and also I was feeling guilty about being pregnant while Orion was going through her baby stages. A lot going on there.

It is a thing that is normal and I am glad I think I can tell the warning signs of postpartum.

5/21/2012 11:44:41 PM

kissing your kids on the lips. yes or no?

5/21/2012 11:52:54 PM

I bonded immediately with my first two (which were girls). My third, Joel, felt VERY different the first probably 2 weeks. I knew I loved him, but I didn't want to just cuddle with him like I did with the girls. It's almost like I didn't know how to bond with him. Like the best I could do is give him a friendly punch on the shoulder. It sounds weird, but he also wouldn't look at me like the girls would, even if I got right up in his face more often than not he just stared right through me.

He's 6 weeks old now and even though he still doesn't look at me which still weirds me out, I'm a lot less uneasy with him, and am comfortable knowing i'll just have to be patient until he gets a little older before i can really bond with him in the way that i will feel natural.

I did tell ^^ how I felt at the time, and fortunately she didn't freak out on me or anything. I'm also of the mind

Quote :

"I think it's good to talk about the unspeakable or else no one knows that their feelings are totally normal"

[Edited on May 22, 2012 at 12:00 AM. Reason : ^ i do that from time to time. less often lately with my 4yo daughter, but the 2 younguns no problem]

5/21/2012 11:59:23 PM

for anybody cloth diapering: my local walmart has the mabu baby cloth diapering stuff, all of it, on clearance. the $30 starter packs are $15 (2 diaper covers, 2 washable inserts, 2 disposable inserts, 5 bioliners). the other supplies are on sale too. i don't know anybody who uses it so i can't vouch for it but we picked up one of the newborn starter packs last night. we'll probably check back in a week or so & see if they're any cheaper, then get a mini one. ymmv depending on your walmart & location.

5/22/2012 9:06:34 AM

Quote :

"kissing your kids on the lips. yes or no?"

age, gender, and what they want dependent.

Currently sometimes with my kids: 4yo girl, 1yo boy. Most of the time it's on the cheek.

5/22/2012 9:10:26 AM

^ 3 something tells me you told her tactfully.

Quote :

"kissing your kids on the lips. yes or no? "

As long as there's no tongue involved you're fine.

5/22/2012 9:41:30 AM

I have also noticed that the check comes much faster when I go out to eat with a baby. It's like I have pre-ordered my food and then they just give it to me when I get there. It's that fast.

5/22/2012 1:01:54 PM

I don't think there is anything wrong with kissing your kids on the lips as long as you're not tongue kissing them. I don't do it often, but I definitely give my two the occasional smacking kiss on the mouth.

5/22/2012 2:03:54 PM

Quote :

"as long as you're not tongue kissing them."

of course not

5/22/2012 2:24:21 PM

I accidentally gave Morrissey a smack on the last yesterday and it was a very wet and slobbery kiss.

5/22/2012 2:40:21 PM

I accidentally gave Morrissey a smack on the last yesterday and it was a very wet and slobbery kiss.

5/22/2012 2:40:21 PM

My husband didn't bond with the baby right away. In fact, I'd say he's just now, at 6-7 months, really starting to bond with him. He had a REALLY difficult time with the needy newborn stage. The crying and sleepless night drove him nearly crazy. I handled it much better. But now that he's moving around and showing a lot of personality it's MUCH better. I think it's just one of those thing that will always take him awhile.

His birth didn't help. He was a special care baby and had to spend all his stay in the special care nursery (I had a bad infection apparently at his birth and they wanted to make sure it didn't get passed to him. He had to have a series of IV antibiotics and be monitored). The first time we spent really any ALONE time with him was the night we brought him home... and that was a disaster - totally not prepared. I hope if we have another the beginning is a littler easier (both with birth and care)

5/22/2012 5:04:44 PM

^4 lol you never know some people are freaks.

5/22/2012 8:48:46 PM

curtains in the nursery: do they need to be blackout or is it better for them to get used to when the sun is out? i can see good points on both sides...

i already have white wood blinds in there, but they don't really block out much light.

5/22/2012 9:27:54 PM

Personally, I wouldn't put up blackout curtains. I think that you set yourself up for problems if your child needs it dark and quiet to go to sleep. We have family members with kids who have to have it dark and quiet to sleep. It definitely causes problems when they travel. I think that you can set up a nice environment for sleep, but it's good to have children who can sleep with a little light and noise.

5/22/2012 9:34:30 PM

My boys have both become kissers. They make a mmmmmmmmmm noise when they want a kiss, and they both aim for the lips.

Of course, they're only twenty months. I assume they'll grow out of it and into cheek kissers.

Also, David hasn't really mastered the closed mouth approach. Sometimes tongue escapes. It makes things awkward and slobbery.

^ I plan to put up blackout curtains when I get back to Chicago. Mainly because I'm tired of their nursery area.being flooded with light at 5:30 in the morning. The light isnt a problem for putting them to sleep, only for waking them up early.

[Edited on May 22, 2012 at 9:41 PM. Reason : .]

5/22/2012 9:38:06 PM

I can understand it with an older child who is woken up by the light, but with a newborn. . .I think that you should break 'em in with noise, light, and strange places. I had no choice with Silas because we were in and out of the hospital and that kid will sleep anywhere at anytime -- Amelia is also pretty good at catching sleep where ever, but not nearly as skilled as Silas.

5/22/2012 10:08:30 PM

I agree. We didn't put in curtains until he was about 7 mos old. He's always slept with the noise of a fan, and I never put up a sign like "baby napping; don't ring doorbell" or whatever and he sleeps right through it. He only woke up to a dog bark once, but it wasn't our dog so the bark was different. We dont turn the TV down.

5/23/2012 10:37:36 AM

^^ Fair enough. The boys have already proven their ability to sleep in imperfect conditions. They can sleep through each other screaming, nap in sunlight, and they aren't woken up by car horns or thunderstorms.

Actually, maybe I should say forget the boys and put the blackout curtains up in MY room! They already sleep better than me!

5/23/2012 4:10:11 PM

*lol*

It doesn't work. If they aren't already, they'll soon be toddling down the hall to your room. I wake up every morning to Silas crawling all over me. It's better than any alarm clock.

5/23/2012 7:30:35 PM

Yup, they're my alarm clock all right. Hence why I want the curtains. The morning sun comes in brighter thancthe rest of the day (its the only time the neighboring building doesnt do some blocking) . I'm tired of them being woken up at 5:30 with the sun.

During the winter they had the decency til wait until.

5/23/2012 10:23:56 PM

Amelia has gotten in her central incisors on the bottom, but they have not come in on the top. Instead, her lateral incisors have come in, making her look like she has little baby fangs. When I brought it up to the pediatrician at her 9 month check up, the ped said that she could cut her teeth in any order that she wanted to. But now that Amelia's first birthday is coming up and her front teeth haven't appeared, I'm starting to worry that maybe she doesn't have front teeth or those are her front teeth that have come in the wrong spot...

Gratuitous cute baby vampire photo:



Anyone else's baby cut their teeth in the "wrong" order? Did they eventually have the correct number of teeth? I also get kinda angsty that someone is going to think that she has bottle rot and judge me.

[Edited on May 27, 2012 at 3:54 PM. Reason : .]

5/27/2012 3:54:05 PM

my little girl has mastered the "panem double bomb"... dirty up her diaper just enough for daddy to change it, and then when the diaper is off and daddy is cleaning up... BOOM.

5/27/2012 6:05:12 PM

^^hahaha, my vampire and your vampire should get together

He also has his laterals first, but just one so far. I did finally see the bulge for his 2nd lateral today. I had read the same somewhere about the order that they can come in at any order, so i've not been too worried...i feel ya on "does he HAVE top centrals?!"

that's a fantastic vamp pic btw! i haven't been able to get a good one of his yet...i might have this weekend though. he was extra smiley.

5/27/2012 8:19:48 PM

I am so relieved that she's not alone in her quest for front teeth.

5/27/2012 10:48:35 PM

Is there really a risk (like a significant risk) of not getting incisors if other teeth come in first?

That sounds like one of those "what if" thoughts a parent will have when trying to work up some solid paranoia about their kid.

5/28/2012 1:37:24 PM

No clue. I've found that most parenting questions stem from paranoia.

Since Amelia has a cleft palate and is at risk for dental abnormalities, I was wondering if her little vampire teeth were on the normal spectrum or if I should work up a good worry before seeing the surgeon next month. Since her cohort, Ryan, also has vampire teeth, I can put the worry on the back burner.

Speaking of paranoia, I worry about crazy things. I don't sweat the small stuff like falling down the stairs, running with scissors, or strange colored poop, but I can diagnose them with some weird rare completely unfathomable disease or poisoning in a heart beat.

[Edited on May 28, 2012 at 7:43 PM. Reason : woot Dengue fever! wait, it's Lupus!]

5/28/2012 7:42:54 PM

Since you asked this question, I posted a photo on fb where you can barely see his vampire fang and TWO other mommy friends of mine have reported their kids, same age as ours, also are lateral incisors first.

His central is more swollen now, so I think they are finally going to start coming in these next few weeks. His right lateral has started to poke through.

5/28/2012 8:12:28 PM

YES!!!

5/28/2012 8:18:55 PM

Hurry! Before his center teeth come in you should get (or make) a little Dracula cape for him!!!!!

5/29/2012 7:33:54 AM

Haha good idea!

Kiddo has been in contact with a little guy recently who was just confirmed to have hand foot & mouth disease. So far no symptoms. If he does contract the bug, how long does it usually take for them to get over it?

5/30/2012 12:48:24 PM

At first I thought you meant the disease cows get and was very confused

5/30/2012 12:59:05 PM

elkaybie, My daughter had that a couple of months ago, apparently it has been very prevalent this year...

She had a fever for about a day and a half, and was kinda not feeling well during that time. Then the bumps started coming out. Luckily she didn't have any inside her mouth, as I understand that can be very uncomfortable. Other than the fever part, it really didn't seem to bother her at all. According to our pediatrician, one can shed the virus for about 7-10 days. It took weeks for her bumps to go away

It usually only affects young children, but my husband ended up getting it and it seemed to be really bad for him. His throat was very raw and he had horrible oozing (sorry) bumps ALL OVER his body. I felt really bad for him. He said that the bumps didn't itch, but they kinda burned, especially on his feet and hands.

I hope your little one doesn't get it!

5/31/2012 1:04:58 PM

Sometimes my wife likes to argue with me when I am holding the baby and then charge at me punching and aiming for my back to miss the baby. This is annoying.

5/31/2012 1:20:22 PM

5/31/2012 2:12:09 PM

Quote :

"Sometimes my wife likes to argue with me when I am holding the baby and then charge at me punching and aiming for my back to miss the baby. This is annoying."

Do you mean playing around punching you? or is she genuinely pissed? Because that is not normal in an adult relationship, FYI. And it's especially fucked up that she thinks it's ok when you are holding an infant.

5/31/2012 2:31:07 PM

Yeah she has some pretty serious anger issues. I did come home half an hour late, but no need to go on a rant. Not sure how long we will last, but the baby is awesome.

5/31/2012 2:37:52 PM

5/31/2012 2:55:04 PM

Quote :

"And it's especially fucked up that she thinks it's ok when you are holding an infant."

For real, how would she feel if she missed you and punched the baby? Or if her charging you caused you to lose your balance and fall with the baby? I think you guys should seek marriage counseling before this gets any worse.

5/31/2012 2:59:48 PM

Well, if you aren't just trolling, I would suggest documenting that shit. You are probably gonna get fucked over in a custody battle anyways because you have a penis, but it might not be that bad if you can demonstrate that she is unstable.

Honestly, if she can't handle herself when the kid is a baby, how is she not gonna beat the shit out of the kid when they are 5 and coloring on the walls or doing something else retarded? I'd be terrified of a CPS referral if my wife acted like that.

5/31/2012 4:47:58 PM

We're pretty sure that Amelia has Hand, Foot, and Mouth. Yesterday, she scared the crap out of us with a fever of 103.9 and we were having trouble getting it to come down. Even after Advil, she had a fever of 102.8 and was really listless and kept refusing to eat or drink. Because of her immune status, the doctor ran every test in the book (urine, blood, throat swab, etc.) and decided to give her prophylactic antibiotic injections. By the time I took Amelia to the doctor today for her second shot, the poor girl was covered in spots and the doctor said that it looks like the start of Hand, Foot, and Mouth. The poor baby looks like she got into a mound of fire ants.

I'm guessing that she got it from the daycare at the gym. My son hasn't shown signs, but I'm keeping an eye out.

One thing that I did learn from all of the hoopla at the doctor yesterday was that you can take blood from the veins in a baby's head. It sounds really mean, but it was honestly the easiest blood draw that we have ever had.

[Edited on May 31, 2012 at 7:40 PM. Reason : .]

5/31/2012 7:38:45 PM

Weeeeeird.

Well I think it's hit our lil vampire too. Fever of 101.4 tonight. We were supposed to head out of town for a wedding, but looks like at least I am staying here. I haven't noticed a rash yet.

little worried he might get mouth sores as he was really reluctant to take his bottle this evening

[Edited on May 31, 2012 at 8:42 PM. Reason : ]

5/31/2012 8:30:37 PM

poor ryan.

Amelia had two little pinprick spots when we took her yesterday (<24hrs with a fever) that could have really been anything. But today (like 48 hours into her fever), she has a mixture of little spots and blistered spots on her hands, feet, legs, and bottom. I wouldn't worry about the no appetite too much.Even though Amelia doesn't have any lesions in her mouth, she had absolutely no appetite yesterday and it's still lagging today.

5/31/2012 9:28:07 PM

poor little amelia i hope she starts getting her appetite back tomorrow!

5/31/2012 9:37:18 PM

Thanks! I hope that Ryan doesn't have HFMD. Maybe it's a teething fever and you'll wake up to some front teeth!

5/31/2012 10:00:50 PM

Well we woke up to 102.8 fever this am and a super snuggly baby that obviously didn't feel too hot. Gave him ibuprofen. Then he didn't want to eat breakfast so off to the doc we went. Two good things--fever broke to 99.7 btw this am and the doc's office, and his bloodwork came back fine so it's prolly not HFM. Hopefully that's the last of it and it was just teeth.

I did get a sneak peek when the doc was examining his mouth and it does look like the other lateral incisor finally broke through

6/1/2012 11:04:12 AM

Yay for it not being HFMD! And super yay for teeth!

My Amelia has thrush. I had asked about it a few months ago, but they thought that it was just 'milk tongue.' They cultured it while we were there Wednesday and called to tell me it is thrush. I had to go pick up some medicine for it. I swear my baby is suddenly falling apart. I think I should call the 800 number and request a replacement under warranty. Oh wait. . .

6/1/2012 1:59:08 PM

...i don't think i fully understood the bloodwork, or the doc we saw that was on call today was annoyed that we show up with a reported fever of 102.8 but it was only 99.7 when they took it. I'm sorry, the ibuprofen WORKED cause i'm mighty suspect of these three little splotches that have shown up on his chin.

and i'm really sorry she has thrush. geez damn this hot weather and all these germs having a field day!

6/1/2012 2:37:21 PM

I didn't go through any of the normal childhood diseases with my older one because I kept him at home. Amelia isn't in a real daycare, but I go to the gym six days a week and put her in the childcare there for about an hour. I should probably get use to this.

6/1/2012 7:01:28 PM

Quote :

"kissing your kids on the lips. yes or no?"

I sneak one on the lips with Momo every now and then. He definitely brings the slobber/

6/2/2012 11:40:33 AM