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Got a phone call from a woman who is so freaking self important. She's just so busy working a 7 day a week job. She's just so busy! Make sure you remember, she's really busy.

Apparently so busy she couldn't even read the instructions I sent to her on Feb 6th... Plus she called just as I sat down to eat lunch at 12:01pm

5/24/2012 1:43:58 PM

Our asst. director is such a pain in the ass sometimes.

She forwards me an email from a guy asking when he can expect some paperwork from our visa office. I send him back the standard 2-4 week reply because a) I have zero way of knowing when the visa office will do jack. b) The visa office has zero way of knowing when Homeland Security will do jack. c) that's what we always do when people send us an email asking when they'll get their paperwork.

Then she emails me back, "Oh well that's not the answer I WANTED you to send him. You should call the director of the visa office and see if she'll give you a deadline."

The fuck? Why didn't you write this damn email yourself if you wanted to treat this guy like a special snowflake?

So I forward that email to the director of the visa office, ask her for the timeline, and she sends us back the same canned response we send the students

5/25/2012 2:44:39 PM

^^that's your own damn fault for answering the phone during lunch

5/25/2012 2:45:53 PM

Access '97.

5/25/2012 2:46:37 PM

This person who missed the last 6 meetings in a row just e-mailed my boss at 3 in the morning and copied me on it to complain about me not keeping her in the loop.

5/25/2012 11:04:57 PM

I did more unit testing for the server team yesterday with our client-side GUI. apparently they have never heard of jUnit. oh, and it took 45 minutes for them to even figure out what they wanted me to test

5/26/2012 7:59:13 PM

We have a sign in the bathroom that says "If you sprinkle when you tinkle clean it up!" and also "If you clog it up, plunge it!" It goes on and says would you treat your on bathroom this way? If so, that is not a good thing or something like that.

5/26/2012 8:20:34 PM

One of our bathrooms has a sign that says 'Please do not flush tank suits'. I suppose someone tried to flush a Tyvek suit once...

To add to Access 97: using Access to create applications intended for multiple simultaneous users.

5/26/2012 10:51:11 PM

Firing people.

Ok, not really. She deserved it.

5/26/2012 11:02:09 PM

The fat girl who thinks she's skinny that shoves her rolls into a pencil skirt then reveals her butthole when she bends over. Also blatantly farts like a tuba in the restroom. Is also a one upper in the worst way.

5/26/2012 11:19:08 PM

^^story?

5/27/2012 9:50:40 AM

being here

5/27/2012 10:01:21 AM

"Heyyyyyy... how ya doin."

"What's up?"

"No really, how you doin?"

"Been a little sick, and you woke me up-"

"-So I've got a little question for ya... wanted to bounce a few ideas off of you that have been on my mind today..."

5/27/2012 9:54:41 PM

we've got an intern this summer. no one really told him how to do his timesheet, which was due today. he had fractions for his time (6 2/3 hours, for example) and we prefer decimals in 15 minute intervals. the lady sends me an email asking me to give him a copy of the "conversion guide" for his hours. i was curious about what this conversion guide was, so i looked into it. it's literally a piece of paper with the following on it:

15 minutes = .25
30 minutes = .50
45 minutes = .75

it was funny to me that she had typed up this sheet for people who couldn't figure out that 15 minutes = 1/4 of an hour.

5/29/2012 6:16:36 PM

decimals on a time sheet period are a workplace annoyance. I don't hardly ever have to do it but when I did some government projects I did (and had to submit the time sheet daily).

5/29/2012 7:40:05 PM

Quote :

"decimals on a time sheet period are a workplace annoyance. I don't hardly ever have to do it but when I did some government projects I did (and had to submit the time sheet daily)."

Not if you are hourly...that extra half an hour each day adds up. Especially if you have Excel auto-total it.



Here's today's workplace annoyance:

*IT guy sends out an email saying the server will be down for a few minutes while he replaces a part**

Several minutes later when people can't access the server...
"OH MY GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING RUNNING SO SLOWLY?? HOLY SHIT WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?!?!?""

5/31/2012 2:01:35 PM

^ haha that happens at my work all the time.

5/31/2012 2:05:53 PM

^^yup.


Now when our IT guy comes in certain employees automatically get pissed and complain.

I also love it when IT guy is here, but not actually servicing the server, and people still complain about a 'performance difference'

5/31/2012 2:34:04 PM

Mine for today is people on a conference call who breath directly into their headset's microphone...the entire time.

That's a fucking blast, lemme tell ya.

5/31/2012 2:35:48 PM

to add...

I work with a PM constantly on a big project (equipment installation) because of continual field modifications, assessing design changes and working accordingly with drafting & fabrication... t

hen he continues to add punch list items that are his responsibility.... even shit that if I were to do I would have to call him, get data, call vendor, tell vendor, call PM back, yada, dada.

NOT MY JOB.

5/31/2012 2:40:28 PM

We got new mousepads today to keep us from getting carpal tunnel... and it's seriously hurting my wrist.

5/31/2012 2:42:52 PM

Quote :

"Mine for today is people on a conference call who breath directly into their headset's microphone...the entire time."

Used to happen all the time with one of my clients. I finally just started telling people to go on mute if they weren't speaking.

6/1/2012 10:42:52 AM

Quote :

"Also blatantly farts like a tuba in the restroom."

i mean... that's what the restroom is for.

6/1/2012 10:59:36 AM

I just got permission from our director to throw everything away in our communal fridge. That fridge seriously belongs in an episode of Hoarders. Yesterday when I tried to put my cup of yogurt in there there was literally zero space in the fridge. Considering we only have maybe 10 people who work in here full-time in the summer that's insane. I can't wait for the tears of people who didn't bother to read the email I sent out or the giant note on the fridge door when I clean it out next week

6/1/2012 11:13:02 AM

Quote :

"Not if you are hourly...that extra half an hour each day adds up. Especially if you have Excel auto-total it."

I mean, I understand that. Even though I am salaried, I bill hourly and get paid for OT and such. But I still have hated the few times I was expected to fill out a time sheet down to the decimal place (other than possibly a half). In general if I stayed an extra 30-60 minutes I charge an extra hour and if I stayed and worked less than 30 I just don't charge extra. At the end of the week if I stayed multiple times for an extra 15-30 minutes I might throw an extra hour or two on my time sheet. Basically it all comes out in the wash and I don't have to spend time remembering that I spend 3.2 hours on this project, 2.6 on this one and 3.2 that one.

6/1/2012 1:38:36 PM

Quote :

"I can't wait for the tears of people who didn't bother to read the email I sent out or the giant note on the fridge door when I clean it out next week "

I did this once and people were going ape shit, even though I put a note on the fridge, and on both the men's and women's bathroom doors. It is fun to tell them tough shit though.

My workplace annoyance for today - old people trying to be tech savvy by using computer terms, but do so incorrectly. Example: calling their computer their CPU.

6/1/2012 10:21:41 PM

Yeah, I wish they'd do that in my new building.
My first office was really annoying about it though.
They'd clean the fridge at Friday at 3 every week, even throwing away new condiments, so annoying.

6/4/2012 12:40:34 PM

being called out during a review of our employee handbook revisions... "THAT'S YOUR HANDWRITING!!!!!!" Simply because VP did not like that I questioned a handfull of items.

no, it's not, but you can surely blame me.

6/4/2012 12:50:38 PM

We have 1 fridge for ~80 people. It fills up fast in the mornings.

Get here late enough and there literally isn't enough room for your lunch.

6/4/2012 1:00:39 PM

Quote :

"My workplace annoyance for today - old people trying to be tech savvy by using computer terms, but do so incorrectly. Example: calling their computer their CPU."

CPU is not bad. "Hard drive" on the other hand...

6/4/2012 1:07:22 PM

^^We have 2 fridges for 30 people, and we still have that problem.

6/4/2012 1:08:03 PM

^^
getting on the server = obtaining wireless internet access

outlook vs. internet based email (big time confusion)

[Edited on June 4, 2012 at 1:09 PM. Reason : -]

6/4/2012 1:08:51 PM

Yeah, people like to put their small lunches in those bulky soft coolers.
I don't see the purpose of bringing a cooler and then putting said cooler in the fridge.

6/4/2012 1:12:05 PM

hey f you buddy i do that

6/4/2012 1:14:42 PM

^^ Yeah I don't under-fucking-stand how we can have 2 refrigerators for 40 people and they are always full! *rage*

[Edited on June 4, 2012 at 1:15 PM. Reason : someone else posted so I needed another "^"]

6/4/2012 1:15:23 PM

Do you guys have coworkers bringing 5-course lunches?

[Edited on June 4, 2012 at 1:25 PM. Reason : ]

6/4/2012 1:19:11 PM

^^^ Why not just keep it at your desk?

6/4/2012 2:57:55 PM

Partner with a lisp tried to say "specific statistics" to me and launched a giant globule of spit right between my eyes. I had to wear it like a champ, going for that 190% promotion next month.

6/4/2012 3:00:08 PM

Our office space is split between 3 floors. Each has a breakroom with a fridge. The top floor has the most people and the fridge is always full/a mess. The 4th floor has fewer people and fewer problems. The 3rd floor (where I'm located) has no problems whatsoever. In fact, we would have trouble filling a minifridge.

So when the admins get tired of the 5th floor fridge problems, what do they do? Create a throw your shit away every friday policy. Doesn't matter what it is, how old, fridge condition, etc. It's gone, for all 3 floors.

6/4/2012 3:02:10 PM

Our office policy is just to put initials on something if you don't want it thrown out. So, we have a lot of salad dressings, cheeses, and drinks that have initials, but haven't been touched in ages.

6/4/2012 3:06:06 PM

Quote :

"^^^ Why not just keep it at your desk?"

why not just put it into the fridge? we've got plenty of space.

6/4/2012 3:09:04 PM

I always laugh at the folks who bring in lunch with the little compartmentalized lunch boxes with the sandwiches, chips, pudding cup, etc. Eat a real lunch; you're not in 4th grade anymore.

6/4/2012 3:17:05 PM

^^

But we don't.

6/4/2012 3:33:20 PM

what is a 'real lunch'?

half a bottle of jack and some saltines?

6/4/2012 3:35:41 PM

[Edited on June 4, 2012 at 3:40 PM. Reason : oh nevermind]

6/4/2012 3:39:18 PM

holding back itt

6/4/2012 3:42:07 PM

COMPANY-WIDE CONFERENCE CALLS

...Microsoft LiveMeeting has problems every time...

6/4/2012 3:49:34 PM

at one of my jobs I haven't been paid since Feb. that is pretty annoying

6/4/2012 3:56:36 PM

i see nothing wrong with fruit, yogurt, sammich and a drink for lunch, maybe a snacky cake of some sort

6/4/2012 3:56:57 PM

5 minute commute turned into 15 minutes at the beginning of this month

at the wrong time of day, it could easily be 30

there's no back way, either

6/4/2012 3:59:26 PM