So a friend of mine broke up with her long term loser boyfriend months ago, and the dude has been harassing her since. A few weeks ago, it's began escalating.

He'll wait in her parking lot to harass her and whoever she's with. Start banging on her back door when she's watching TV and scream at her etc. Sit in her friend's parking lot and do the same shit when she arrives.

Lately he's taken to flattening her tires by various means, box cutters nails etc. She's been through like 9 tires so far.

So she's getting a restraining order Monday morning. Question is if the tire BS keeps happening, assuming no video evidence or whatever, does the restraining order "apply" to that. Can it get him arrested? What exactly is contained in these orders?

What are some strategies to handling this situation?

[Edited on September 1, 2012 at 6:00 PM. Reason : oops, move to lounge please.]

9/1/2012 5:59:56 PM

Well it does involve tires...

9/1/2012 7:00:18 PM

^ i lol'd

9/1/2012 8:19:58 PM

shoulda bought pirellis

9/1/2012 8:43:39 PM

Sounds like her father needs to dispense a good old fashioned asskicking.

9/1/2012 8:56:02 PM

Nanny cam.

9/1/2012 11:01:55 PM

apparently you've never tapped that or she isn't hot enough.

Otherwise you'd stepped up and been the rebound guy.

9/1/2012 11:11:00 PM

If it were me.... and granted I've never experienced this, but it sounds like the dude is crazy. Hopefully the restraining order thing works, but I doubt it. I would wait for him (stakeout by her car or something) and beat the ever loving fuck out of him. If he knows you or recognizes you, get someone else to do it.

9/2/2012 12:32:25 AM

so you haven't actually seen him do anything. it could be something completely different. sounds fishy to me.

9/2/2012 12:51:06 AM

Main strategy should be, wait for him to fuck up....then shoot him

9/2/2012 1:32:22 AM

Quote :

" it sounds like the dude is crazy"

Quote :

" beat the ever loving fuck out of him"

ummmm, is it necessary to point out all the problems with this scenario?

9/2/2012 1:39:15 AM

I read the title as Breaking Bad. Please continue

9/2/2012 2:07:05 AM

If you would like to learn about how to handle (and not handle) these situations, please watch ID's Stalked on Netflix.

As a couch sleuth, the best advice that I can give it to keep a detailed record of everything. Note dates and times of suspicious activity and sightings, take photos of anything that is damaged or disturbed, and open a dialogue with the police. Unfortunately, it is difficult for the police to do anything in stalking cases without concrete proof that a law has been broken by a particular individual. But detailing activities, especially after a restraining order is in place, aids any case brought against the stalker once the stalker crosses the line.

[Edited on September 2, 2012 at 8:05 AM. Reason : .]

9/2/2012 8:04:08 AM

Try to introduce said stalker to some girl you don't like. Two birds, one stone.

9/2/2012 8:22:13 AM

She also needs to file stalking charges against him.

All she needs to do on the court paperwork is give various times he has stalked her and how she feels threatened (which in this situation is fairly indisputable especially since she has had people with her when he has done it).

In NC you are put in jail until you can appear before a judge (at least is was in 2008 when a friend of mine was thrown in jail after his gf filed stalking charges. A warrant was issued for his arrest and he was thrown in jail until he could be seen the next day in court despite talking to the magistrate that night and proving with documentation that he had an alibi to the times she claimed he had stalked her).

http://www.ncleg.net/enactedlegislation/statutes/pdf/bysection/chapter_14/gs_14-277.3a.pdf

http://www.mynorthcarolinadefenselawyer.com/criminal-charges/stalking-harassment/

She needs to file this NOW.

9/2/2012 10:12:17 AM

first: restraining order

second: capture evidence by parking her car somewhere it can be watched using a webcam or something

third: stalking/criminal charges after catching him doing something

[Edited on September 2, 2012 at 10:20 AM. Reason : alternatively, get group of guys to ambush him in the dark and beat the shit out of him]

9/2/2012 10:17:24 AM

There are two (2) types of protective orders in NC.

First is what we call a 50-C (or restraining order) and is used if person A does not want person B, like a creppy ex co-worker around them. This is a civil order and law enforcement CANNOT enforce this order. A violation of a 50-C is a contempt of court and a judge has to find the order violated.

The second type of protective order is a 50-B (domestic violence) and is used if person A does not want person B, like a former girlfriend, around them when there is domestic violence present (this includes continued harassment). This order SHALL be enforced by law enforcement officers - meaning if there is probable cause for an arrest, they have to.

Quote :

"In NC you are put in jail until you can appear before a judge"

This is not necessarily true. If it meets the courts definition of a domestic related case (which I'm not sure what it is) then the person is held until they can make a first appearance. This could be the next morning, or 48 hours if its the weekend.

9/2/2012 3:59:28 PM

^ If the tire stuff keeps happening, would that be cause for arrest (given a documented pattern of harassment, cops have been called once) under a 50-B, or would she have to have video evidence of him doing it?

9/2/2012 4:30:20 PM

^^ I would trust you over what I was told by the sheriff as he was trying to explain why my friend had to spend the night in jail. He was probably just trying to keep it simple.

9/2/2012 5:49:54 PM

Seriously, the answer is to beat this guy nearly to death.

9/2/2012 6:26:29 PM

Quote :

"If the tire stuff keeps happening, would that be cause for arrest (given a documented pattern of harassment, cops have been called once) under a 50-B, or would she have to have video evidence of him doing it?"

Yes and no. Tires, stuff like that you would need proof. But if he texts, calls, etc all she has to is go to magistrate and say he violated the 50-B and they should issue a warrant. While we SHALL arrest, you still have to have probable cause. For example, she has a 50-B against him, he comes to her door wanting to talk and she calls the police. Prior to our arrival, he flees - this is not enough for us to charge him, but she could go obtain a warrant because she can testify that she saw him.

9/2/2012 7:39:44 PM

Video surveillance

9/2/2012 8:06:07 PM

message_topic.aspx?topic=503107&page=171

9/2/2012 9:33:11 PM

the solution is an AK

9/3/2012 12:10:34 AM

message_topic.aspx?topic=626285

9/3/2012 1:01:54 AM

tell him you fucked a nigger

9/3/2012 5:25:01 AM

^Not Chit Chat.

9/3/2012 8:34:09 AM

Park a Russian dashcam car so it can record her car while the tires are being slashed

9/5/2012 9:06:01 AM

R ember when that guy from TWW caught the Cary tire slasher by using a hidden camera.

9/5/2012 11:51:06 AM

^plz post story

9/5/2012 1:33:33 PM

It was great, I don't remember the user name or what to search for though. It also might have been in shit-chat which means it got purged.

Actually I found it in the Garage.
http://brentroad.com/message_topic.aspx?topic=413313

It was xvang he setup a full blown sting and got the perp on camera, driving his work truck, it was on WRAL and everything but some of the links are now dead.

The funny thing is the police had closed the case due to there being no evidence.

[Edited on September 5, 2012 at 1:48 PM. Reason : . ]

9/5/2012 1:41:20 PM

Quote :

"what kinda gangs do they have in cary? the pricks and the fags? "

hahaha

9/5/2012 1:50:32 PM

Found the townofcary link: http://www.townofcary.org/Departments/Administration/pio/News_Releases/news2006/tireslashingsnr.htm

9/5/2012 2:04:06 PM

restraining orders dont do shit if this guy plans on being a real griefer

too many women get killed beside a restraining order

its fuckin worthless

9/5/2012 2:06:48 PM

Agreed this dude needs a good ass whoopin.

9/5/2012 2:18:39 PM

ok my post was not a troll. she needs to do something to make herself undesirable to the stalker. it totally depends on the guys tastes. just making a drastic change to hairstyle or fashion could do the trick. I like girl that wear Japanese street but I wouldn't touch one in Juicy Couture.

9/6/2012 3:33:09 AM