I pop up at 3:25am every night...so random. Then I can't go back to sleep for a while.

UGH

[Edited on May 6, 2014 at 9:45 AM. Reason : 3298]

5/6/2014 9:45:47 AM

This motherfucker on the conference call is way too damn happy

5/6/2014 3:22:28 PM

What I don't understand about Javascript right now is why you get an error when you try this:

if (undeclaredVar !== undefined) { doSomething(); }

if (typeof potentiallyUndeclaredGlobalVar !== 'undefined') { doSomething(); }

5/6/2014 7:46:40 PM

Drunk twice today. The first time was more fun. :-(

5/6/2014 8:16:41 PM

was in the dunk tank at work today - spent more than my fair share in the water - my wife threw the first set of throws - on the plus side, raised a lot of money for charity

5/7/2014 2:45:06 PM

sciatica during menstruation, wtf

5/7/2014 10:25:15 PM

this makes me feel worse than i did when i found out bread makes you fat.

5/7/2014 10:42:50 PM

oh, you are sick? here take these antibiotics that will make you more sick than the original sickness you are taking them for

fuck you doctor. fuck you.

5/7/2014 11:58:42 PM

I'm ready to be in Texas.

5/8/2014 12:01:24 AM

Ahhhhhh.....solid counteroffer. Please accept, client! Then I'll be all like...

5/8/2014 3:48:47 PM

having a shitty last couple days..cracking everything i make

5/8/2014 4:30:29 PM

car dealers have the worst fucking websites

it's like they've replaced the dude yelling at you on the radio with really obnoxious web code

5/9/2014 12:03:54 PM

I only have a few things to accomplish today and I'm being super lazy.

5/9/2014 12:10:00 PM

Can't we all just get drunk and listen to Thursday?

5/9/2014 4:17:27 PM

JC!!! We've been on the phone for 12 minutes and about half of that has been her talking to other people while I sit here doing nothing.

5/9/2014 5:02:07 PM

Thank sweet baby Jesus for the rain.

5/9/2014 7:44:04 PM

Forte is the worst human alive, at least one that's a member of TWW. He is a stain on everything that's good. Hope he sees the light one day, the easy way, or the hard way, before it is too late.

5/9/2014 7:47:39 PM

Hope my wheel isn't busted, I can't afford to be injured.

5/9/2014 8:37:52 PM

^ what are you riding?

5/9/2014 8:55:14 PM

Covered in spit up is not the way I wanted to start my 4:30am. Also now I have no pillow to sleep on the rest of the morning.

5/10/2014 4:56:27 AM

When you promote the #bringbackourgirls hashtag, you're helping AFRICOM meddle in Africa: http://www.compareafrique.com/dear-americans-hashtags-wont-bringbackourgirls-might-actually-making-things-worse/

5/10/2014 11:18:29 PM

That's really dumb.

5/11/2014 4:35:31 PM

5/11/2014 6:36:25 PM

Through all of it I've never wanted to quit. Lost my friend, lost my dad, lost my mom, lost my dog, still going strong.... But today for no good reason what so ever I woke up feeling like who fucking cares anymore? It seems like everything I want to do gets fucked up some how. I have everything I should need to be happy and yet I wake up miserable... I think I'm going to call my shrink today it's time I go see her.


AHhH!

/vent.

5/12/2014 7:42:45 AM

Sometimes it's only after the dust settles on all those things that they really get to you. It might not feel like it, but things will get better!

5/12/2014 7:47:39 AM

If you wanna burn yourself remember that I love you
And if you wanna cut yourself remember that I love you
And if you wanna kill yourself remember that I love you
Call me up before you're dead.
We can makes some plans instead.
Send me an IM I'll be your friend.

5/12/2014 7:49:22 AM

5/12/2014 7:55:55 AM

Every time someone shares something the tea party group posted on Facebook my faith in humanity dies a little more.

In my opinion it's like sharing something from hitler, any religious militant radicals, or fuck even the North Koreans

I mean aligning yourself with this bat shit crazy radical group should be embarrassing not something you share on Facebook.

5/12/2014 8:40:33 AM

Apparently a long engagement means my extended family assume my relationship is in trouble. wtf people. Sorry I'm not loaded with enough to cash to slap together a wedding in a few months

[Edited on May 12, 2014 at 10:19 AM. Reason : ]

5/12/2014 10:18:43 AM

I think I just had a panic attack..
That was the most terrifying 8 minutes of my life.

5/12/2014 10:18:47 AM

I'm pretty sure this cough syrup made my cough worse

5/12/2014 11:54:05 AM

No Jay Z & Solange fight thread? TWW is truly dying.

5/12/2014 6:05:20 PM

Gah, man. I feel like a dirty butthole after my workout today. I did my normal run, then hit the gym. The whole time, I felt like garbage, but figured i would snap out of it once I got warmed up. Yeah, that never happened. I made it through the workout, but still feel like something that comes out of my dog's back end

5/12/2014 7:41:02 PM

^^message_posttopic.aspx?section=9

5/12/2014 7:44:31 PM

had my first threesome on saturday.
was as good as i imagined it would be..

5/13/2014 3:18:50 PM

I think I could sleep for days. This whole spending 30 hours en route to a destination is for the birds.

But on another note, I just ate a huge steak for all of ten dollars. Granted, it was seriously tough, but damn, the flavor was really good. Add two gin and tonics and a good beer for a total tab of 21 bux. There ain't nothing wrong with that.

5/13/2014 4:08:51 PM

this is my life

5/14/2014 9:41:21 AM

it's now or never

5/14/2014 9:55:52 AM

You aren't going to live forever. Just live while you're alive. It's your life!

5/14/2014 10:04:59 AM

Quote :

"had my first threesome on saturday. was as good as i imagined it would be.."

Nice. I am slightly curious how it came about.

5/14/2014 11:51:55 AM

in ropes

[Edited on May 14, 2014 at 12:01 PM. Reason : oops, i read that as "how it came out"]

5/14/2014 12:01:07 PM

fuck. it's noon already.

i have so much to do. a;lskdjfa;lksdjf;laksjdfla;skdjfasd

barfing seems an appropriate response

5/14/2014 12:03:04 PM

Ha just was thinking this the other day. I can't get going until I have a lot to work to do...
Procrastination ftl.

5/14/2014 12:06:46 PM

5/14/2014 8:28:22 PM

Kraft Mac n cheese sucks

5/14/2014 8:38:59 PM

You need to add more butter and salt. Make sure the macaroni's extra al dente.

Or in less time than the box, you can make your own with cream, butter, and cheese.

It takes some practice to get really efficient at it--not necessarily a skill you want to master.

5/14/2014 9:12:04 PM

you sound like a macaroni expert

5/14/2014 10:06:45 PM

I'm pretty good with things that involve cheese. So everything basically.

5/14/2014 10:43:00 PM

When you look at the clock and see its 10pm, do you say "damn, it's already 10 oclock" or "shit, it's only 10 oclock"

5/14/2014 11:00:01 PM

[Edited on May 14, 2014 at 11:03 PM. Reason : nm]

5/14/2014 11:02:47 PM