my wife and i decided that kids aren't for us long before we got married. i went in for my consultation this week and i've got a vasectomy scheduled for 7/19

who else has chosen to live childfree?

7/3/2013 3:37:06 PM

Not me, but go you.

Take a few extra days off after your vasectomy if you can spare it. Stayed on my ass for 3 days straight, plenty of ice and meds, and I recovered with no complications, swelling, or lasting pain.

7/3/2013 3:42:03 PM

this is a no-scalpel vasectomy. no stitches or anything. most report that it's virtually painless. i'm having it done on a friday so i'll have the weekend to take it easy. thanks for the advice. i'll make sure i'm not climbing up any ladders or down in any holes my first few days back at work.

7/3/2013 3:54:42 PM

You are a terrible person. How do you sleep at night.

jk, what's up dude

My kids are wonderful but I absolutely understand people who don't want them. People who get uppity about other people's choices are dumb.

7/3/2013 4:49:40 PM

Quote :

"How do you sleep at night."

without interruptions from a crying baby

7/3/2013 5:13:32 PM

LOL

touche'

best of luck going under the [not] knife

7/3/2013 5:15:16 PM

Quote :

" i went in for my consultation this week and i've got a vasectomy scheduled for 7/19 "

Praise the Lord.

7/3/2013 6:33:13 PM

7/3/2013 7:11:27 PM

Buy some frozen peas.









Or grow your own and freeze beforehand.

7/3/2013 7:36:34 PM

i think i'll just stick with ice

7/3/2013 7:50:07 PM

Childfree, decided to adopt a BMW and a retirement account instead.

7/3/2013 8:23:50 PM

boat and a safe full of guns for me

7/3/2013 8:26:09 PM

Not bad choices. I grew up on the coast so it doesn't seem like it's worth owning a boat without a backyard dock.

7/3/2013 9:45:42 PM

[Edited on July 3, 2013 at 10:53 PM. Reason : must not troll]

7/3/2013 10:52:38 PM

Quote :

"Buy some frozen peas. "

Quote :

"i think i'll just stick with ice"

I think the peas are a better idea. At least they were for me.

And get some compression shorts. I was told to use a jockstrap but the edges went right on top of the incision points. So I had to choose between the pain of my balls dangling around (which you def don't want for a while) or the pain of my jockstrap on the sensitive area. Not fun.

7/4/2013 1:16:09 AM

We've known for a long time that we would rather do things for ourselves than have children. If that makes me selfish, I give no shits because I will be enjoying my vacations to Europe whilst not having to pay for college tuition.

Doesn't stop me from getting hormonal and crying over babies though.

7/4/2013 2:39:27 PM

That's too bad. I have known since I was 14-ish that I didn't want kids and the financial aspect is just a bonus. After babysitting a couple little shits I realized I wasn't getting paid enough to put up with that BS, so I got a job at a vet hospital cleaning kennels instead when I turned 16. No way I would pay money to be around kids when I can get paid to deal with them as a tutor.

7/5/2013 10:25:57 AM

my wife and I both really like kids in general but right now we are leaning toward no kids for us still.

7/5/2013 10:29:31 AM

<--- childfree

we'll likely choose some form of sterilization in the next couple years, too

7/5/2013 11:54:00 AM

I was thinking about this the other day.

I like kids, though I don't see myself having any. However, I've never been really excited for any friends/family members when they announce they're having a baby. Happy that they're happy? Sure. But not excited. My immediate reaction is negative/ambivalent and I have to cover it with a friendly smile.

Is that just my selfish attitude expressing itself, or do other folks feel that way?

7/5/2013 1:50:02 PM

I'm always sad when friends have kids, because that means that after a couple years there's a 99% chance we won't hang out anymore. Some initially try to keep on going to parties and dinners, then most give up.

7/5/2013 2:15:02 PM

Haven't you guys watched the beginning of Idiocracy? We need to procreate as much as possible to try and outnumber the idiots out there. For real though, I understand. Kids are expensive and take a lot of time and care.

^We are trying hard not to be one of those couples. So far (16 Months) we have done a great job of continuing to do stuff. We also host a lot of things at our house too which makes it easier.

7/5/2013 4:00:35 PM

I'm leaning towards no kids as well...the problem is finding a decent girl who feels the same way. I honestly think I'd rather adopt a kid, if I ever choose that I'd like to be a father. That way, instead of adding to the population, I can potentially "save" a kid who could otherwise be a total fuckup drain on society (which is a totally self-centered, elitist view, I know).

Also, I'm shallow and I don't want to deal with a pregnant woman for 9 months or the possibility of her body never "rebounding"

7/5/2013 6:02:10 PM

^^ That's good. The other problem is that some people move out to a huge house in BFE to "have room for the kid" so that doesn't help things either. Maybe standards are different here, but I grew up in a place with a higher cost of living than Raleigh/Durham so pretty much everyone I knew that had kids had houses the same size that people here think are too small.

7/5/2013 7:21:02 PM

^^ women who don't want kids exist, but we're rare

so you may have to hunt for a while

or start dating post-menopausal women who can no longer have kids

[Edited on July 5, 2013 at 9:40 PM. Reason : I wish more people adopted, really]

7/5/2013 9:39:38 PM

Quote :

"I'm leaning towards no kids as well...the problem is finding a decent girl who feels the same way. I honestly think I'd rather adopt a kid, if I ever choose that I'd like to be a father. That way, instead of adding to the population, I can potentially "save" a kid who could otherwise be a total fuckup drain on society (which is a totally self-centered, elitist view, I know). Also, I'm shallow and I don't want to deal with a pregnant woman for 9 months or the possibility of her body never "rebounding" "

+1

I don't think I'm capable of maintaining a normal romantic relationship anyway. No interest in marriage, but I do believe that the world needs more people like me... you know since I'm so great and all. Maybe adopting a kid wouldn't be terrible at some point.

7/9/2013 12:39:33 PM

My cousin and his wife (same age as me and my wife) has made the same decision (no vasectomy yet though). They are financially independent, have a house a nice car, good job etc. Another cousin from the same uncle has a child. He is in a middle of bitter divorce and haven't had a stable job in year (neither is his wife). Went through some courts due to unpaid bills. Other than that, he makes a great dad. Their parents seem to be more fond of him than the successful kid. They are also closer to him than the successful kid, in large part because of the child.

I never saw myself having children, but recently that has changed. I am glad I did not do any surgical intervention that would prevent me from doing so when the time is right.

7/9/2013 7:16:59 PM

Well just found out last week that we are expecting. I about fainted. Then I thought about all the good father son times me and my father had when I was younger. Races ball games and so on. Some people aren't all about it and no one should force you into whatever decision you choose I couldn't imagine not eventually having child at some point intime either way

7/9/2013 7:41:23 PM

Quote :

"That way, instead of adding to the population, I can potentially "save" a kid who could otherwise be a total fuckup drain on society (which is a totally self-centered, elitist view, I know)."

Adoptive parents don't do much to change the level of success a child will achieve. You should settle for being happy with giving them a good childhood.

7/10/2013 1:28:07 AM

i could be happy with or without children, i think...my wife and i have talked about it, and we're going to actively try for kids after she finishes school in a year or so

but if we can't conceive for some reason, we aren't going to go with fertility treatments, nor would we adopt...we'll just enjoy being DINKS

7/10/2013 8:38:04 AM

My fiancee wants kids...and more than likely in the year or two after our marriage. She'll be 32 when we tie the knot and I think she can feel that biological clock ticking. I'm pretty sure I want kids. I definitely don't want any now, but a lot of that has to do with being worried about the monetary reasons and just simply wanting to fuck around for a couple more years.

I definitely side with the people who don't like to be tied down, want to be able to travel, and don't want the responsibilities of a kid. I'd love to be free and go wherever the fuck I want, whenever I want. But at the same time, I've already done a lot. I would like to travel more, but I think the love you get from your own child will outweigh the few extra places you could have gone if you had stayed childfree.

I take just the small example of having a dog. We got a puppy about a year ago last summer. He definitely keeps us from going to certain restaurants, bars, and the movies. He's also cost a pretty penny over the long run. But we love him to death and he brings a ton of joy to our lives. I imagine a kid will be something similar...just on a much larger scale of course.

7/10/2013 8:44:48 AM

My wife and I have two daughters and raising children is definitely difficult, but is very rewarding in it's own way too. We've both always wanted kids so I guess we never really considered a childfree life style.

My wife has a big extended family and four of her cousins who are married and successful all have decided to not have kids. I understand why, but in IMHO the people that should have children (i.e. stable, educated folks with a good income and no drug issues, etc) are choosing not to have children in high numbers. I just hope these people don't regret this when they are in their late 40s or 50s.

7/10/2013 12:03:12 PM

Quote :

"Adoptive parents don't do much to change the level of success a child will achieve. You should settle for being happy with giving them a good childhood."

I'm not saying you are wrong, but I am curious where you got this.

7/10/2013 2:06:56 PM

He's probably referencing:

Adopted Children’s Outcomes as
Young Adults in Regards to
Educational Attainment and Income
http://www.iwu.edu/economics/PPE17/spear.pdf

However, he's either being intellectually dishonest, or completely misunderstood the conclusions of the research.

Quote :

"The results of this study indicate that adoption does not significantly affect the outcome of young adults when family background effects are controlled. Even though adoption has always been a supported practice, there have been a number of studies that show that the children are still at a greater disadvantage than they would be if they were biologically related to their parents. A number of studies, such as the Texas Adoption Project that measured IQ, conclude that biology has the largest impact in determining intelligence (Horn, 1983). However, using educational attainment and income earned, this study shows that the findings from a number of previous studies, especially those which measured IQ, are in fact opposite. Instead, the family characteristics are the biggest determinants in the outcomes of children, whether or not they are biologically raised. We can assume that the family is able to encourage the best application of children’s natural intelligence through proper accumulation of human capital. This a major push for the direction of nurture over nature in the everlasting debate between the two."

In other words, adoptive parents aren't going to take a kid of average IQ and turn him or her into a card carrying member of Mensa.

It also does not claim that they'd be at a greater advantage if they were raised by their biological parents vs adoptive parents, but simply that they're at a disadvantage compared with biological children of adoptive parents.

So if you take a kid being raised by a family in poverty, and he is adopted by another poor family, there won't be any significant improvement in success. Family characteristics are, in fact, the greatest predictors of outcomes for both adopted and biological children.

7/10/2013 2:30:00 PM

Quote :

"I'm pretty sure I want kids. I definitely don't want any now..."

You better give up that expensive beer habit now, it's gonna be tough to break

7/10/2013 5:46:00 PM

I'm almost 30 and I don't have kids yet. My boyfriend and I have talked about it, and I'm open to the idea, but I'd also be totally cool if I never had kids. I think it would really disappoint my parents, though

7/10/2013 8:22:47 PM

"to make my parents happy" is a terrible reason to have a kid

7/10/2013 8:43:42 PM

^ +Texas

7/11/2013 1:13:39 PM

Quote :

"I understand why, but in IMHO the people that should have children (i.e. stable, educated folks with a good income and no drug issues, etc) are choosing not to have children in high numbers. I just hope these people don't regret this when they are in their late 40s or 50s."

I won't.

Also, to everyone else (read: breeders), quit telling me I will regret it. It's annoying.

[Edited on July 11, 2013 at 9:17 PM. Reason : ,]

7/11/2013 9:14:55 PM

i'm so damn tired of folks telling me i'll change my mind. pretty soon it's gonna be too late to change my mind

7/11/2013 9:19:09 PM

why does "i'm not going to have kids" necessarily come with a smug attitude about it?

7/11/2013 9:48:41 PM

Maybe it's because we have to sound smug to try to keep the breeders from telling us how much we will regret our decisions. I'm so tired of people that know nothing about my life telling me I'll regret my decision later. It would be horribly irresponsible for me to have a kid (multiple medical conditions that would result in miscarriage or developmental issues in the kid) but I don't want to dwell on what I can't have. I want to focus on the positives of my chosen life and so many breeders seem to take that as a personal insult. Case in point you and ragged coming in this thread to try to tell the child free people they are wrong/annoying/too immature to make a life decision they will want to stick with.

7/11/2013 11:47:46 PM

Quote :

"Case in point you and ragged coming in this thread to try to tell the child free people they are wrong/annoying/too immature to make a life decision they will want to stick with."

Where did that happen?

7/12/2013 9:00:03 AM

To each his own. I love my son and can't imagine not wanting to have kids, but that's just me and I won't pretend to understand or judge anyone else's decision.

But all this talk about regret and changing minds, etc. makes me think of The Office and Michael Scott's quadruple procedure vasectomy then reverse then vasectomy then reverse.

Good luck to all in whatever you decide, best wishes for a speedy recovery.

^^Oh, and it's quite hypocritical of you to call people with kids "breeders" while also complaining about having unfair judgement and generalization levied upon you.

[Edited on July 12, 2013 at 9:06 AM. Reason : .]

7/12/2013 9:03:53 AM

I love kids, but personally I would rather see old people who regret not having kids ( who could adopt if they really wanted to ) than people who regret having their kids. Yes, there are people like that out there.

7/12/2013 9:09:51 AM

Haters gonna hate and misery loves company

7/12/2013 10:30:42 AM

Quote :

"why does "i'm not going to have kids" necessarily come with a smug attitude about it?"

People who have children are just as smug about their choice. Either side has a right to be satisfied with their decision.

7/12/2013 8:24:53 PM

Quote :

"Quote : "Case in point you and ragged coming in this thread to try to tell the child free people they are wrong/annoying/too immature to make a life decision they will want to stick with." "

Never said don't do it.

7/12/2013 10:28:42 PM

Quote :

"Case in point you and ragged coming in this thread to try to tell the child free people they are wrong/annoying/too immature to make a life decision they will want to stick with."

what? you were responding to literally my first post in this thread that said nothing of the sort.

case in point about the attitude i suppose.
you use the term "breeders" as a derogatory term for people who choose to have kids and deem that perfectly acceptable like our choices somehow weren't as good as your choices.

i know people who have kids, don't have kids, married, unmarried, etc, and you know what? i don't give a fuck what they do (or think about my choices) as long as it makes them happy. (the libertarian coming out in me i suppose)

7/13/2013 8:58:39 AM

I don't mind people having kids. This is the second thread at the same time (one on another forum) about being childfree that's been taken over by people with kids. We don't go post about birth control in the parenting threads. I just want to have a conversation with other childfree people without having to read a bunch of garbage about how great kids are. Obviously I don't think they are worth having. You disagree and that's fine, but I don't want people constantly bugging me about it. Just my parents alone were bad enough at one point I wanted to punch them.

7/13/2013 1:49:05 PM