Every Christmas 8 of us who went to college together have dinner to catch up. This year 7/8 of us are married, 4 have kids and a 5th is pregnant with her first. We catch up on each others' lives, and that always led to talk of the kids. Luckily my friends are not those that can't shut up about babies. They wanted to have a night out as themselves and not as moms, so the talk of babies was limited. I am so glad it wasn't breastfeeding and poop talk all night.

1/8/2015 9:30:23 AM

Meh, it is just one in the many topics that ppl won't shut up about. Work, kids, crossfit...whatever. My GF never stops talking about kids and we don't even have any (she works in a preschool).

I haven't had a strong drive for kids lately, but I'm still probably going to end up with a family.

1/8/2015 12:06:55 PM

35 single male, no kids. Don't particularly have an urge to have kids now. Enjoy traveling and toys for now, but I know I want them. Would like 3 at least. As my Dad said: "it will never be the right time to have kids". You can always find shit you need to do or get before you have them.

Something to think about as well is how your personality and views might change with age. When you are 57 you might question what are you leaving behind? Certainly not everyone will, but some do. At that point it might be difficult to have a child...you will not have the energy or not likely to have a partner that will be in child-bearing age.

btw, vasectomy is idiotic if you are young and childless.

2/3/2015 11:08:55 PM

Do you remember you great-great grandparents' life stories? What about their names?

That's right, no one will give a shit about you no matter if you had kids or not. "Passing on your legacy" is the most idiotic reason to have kids ever.

If you want kids, don't come in here and give us shit. You think we don't hear from idiots like you all the time? Do you honestly think you are going to convince me to go get a tubal reversal and have a dozen kids? I'm so sick of people thinking they know my life better than I do. I have been denied proper medical care because asshole doctors refused to accept that I was 100% serious about never having kids and wanting to take the nuclear approach to my gynecological issues. I have been suffering pain for 20 years just to FINALLY convince those assholes that I am serious and we need to do something more permanent.

Also, vasectomies are amazing and I wish more men would get them. It's the only way to ensure that you aren't turned into a walking checkbook by a woman that's looking for a baby daddy.

2/4/2015 1:07:52 AM

Quote :

"Do you remember you great-great grandparents' life stories? What about their names?"

Yes. But that has nothing to do with someone's choice to have children or not and is entirely irrelevant.

And I didn't see anywhere in there where he told you that you should have kids.

2/4/2015 9:53:53 AM

Most people know nothing about their great-great grandparents. Unless you cure cancer you are forgotten within a couple generations, so having kids doesn't matter.

He shouldn't be coming in here telling people getting a vasectomy is idiotic. Adding people to an overpopulated planet with dwindling resources is idiotic.

2/4/2015 10:41:20 AM

Quote :

"Unless you cure cancer you are forgotten within a couple generations, so having kids doesn't matter."

I don't think people have kids so that they're not forgotten by their great-grandchildren. That's a ridiculous statement to make.

Quote :

"Adding people to an overpopulated planet with dwindling resources is idiotic."

Are you really saying that anyone who chooses to have kids is idiotic? You do realize that having people willing to be parents is necessary for our society to continue. By no means should you take that to mean that YOU should have kids, but kids are necessary.

Quote :

"He shouldn't be coming in here telling people getting a vasectomy is idiotic. "

To a certain extent, making permanently life altering decisions at a young age, may not be the best choice. He doesn't say no one should get a vasectomy, and by all means, if you want one, go for it. But the world is not out to get you because you choose not to have kids.

2/4/2015 10:48:56 AM

Quote :

"Do you remember you great-great grandparents' life stories? What about their names?"

Yes, of course. Not only names, but some of their life stories.

Quote :

" To a certain extent, making permanently life altering decisions at a young age, may not be the best choice. He doesn't say no one should get a vasectomy, and by all means, if you want one, go for it. But the world is not out to get you because you choose not to have kids."

This.

2/4/2015 12:37:29 PM

Some people just know and are 100% certain in their choice from a young age and have never regretted it. I had my tubal at 24 and it was easily one of the best decisions of my life. Just because some people make terrible decisions does not mean you should deny everyone the option of sterilization without pooping out a few babies first.

Like I said before, I have been denied medical care I needed because the doctors were certain I would change my mind and want kids. I pretty much told the doctor that did my tubal that if he didn't do it I would go to some shady medical tourism hospital if that was what it took. At least they are finally taking me seriously and willing to do something now.

2/4/2015 2:29:03 PM

[Edited on February 4, 2015 at 3:32 PM. Reason : nm, don't want to be mean]

2/4/2015 3:23:00 PM

having kids after 35 is idiotic. You'll be trying to get that fucker through college and I'll be retiring.

[Edited on February 4, 2015 at 5:23 PM. Reason : autocorrect]

2/4/2015 5:23:28 PM

Having more than 2 kids is idiotic

2/4/2015 5:30:55 PM

^ Some people financially plan to get kids through college. Whether I have a kid now or 10 years from now...college isn't going to fuck up my retirement plans.

2/4/2015 5:32:20 PM

(I'm just trying to point out how ridiculous it is for someone to call someone else an idiot and act like they know what's best for someone else)

2/4/2015 5:40:10 PM

Gotcha...being on the anti-kid side, you confused me.

2/4/2015 6:11:31 PM

I'm not anti-kid. I'm anti-kid-of-my-own.

2/4/2015 7:48:47 PM

And we're all anti-lewoods...

2/4/2015 8:06:21 PM

And I am very against other people trying to make my uterus their business.

2/4/2015 8:35:31 PM

Do you not realize that you are the only one talking about your uterus in this thread??

2/4/2015 8:42:54 PM

^^
to be fair, you're asking them to do a procedure on your uterus

so if they're interested in it, that's kinda understandable

2/4/2015 8:46:54 PM

a friend of mine says he regrets his vasectomy. He said it dulls the sensations during ejaculation. not catastrophically or anything, but noticeably.

2/4/2015 10:06:17 PM

Did you not read 1 in 10^9's post? He is telling people how stupid they are for exercising their right to bodily autonomy. Honestly, with the lack of options for guys as soon as you realize you don't want kids you should be running to the urologist's office. It's the only way you can prevent the risk of 18 years of child support and baby mama drama.

If this guy can exist, then everyone should be able to walk into a doctor's office and get whatever they want done to their body without the doctors being full of high and mighty bullshit. http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/2015/02/fan-has-nose-cut-off-face-tattooed-so-hell-look-like-red-skull/

2/4/2015 10:25:19 PM

^^not for me. I've never read that in the research I did before mine. I'm gonna say it's all in his head.

2/4/2015 10:41:06 PM

^^yep, I am telling you it is idiotic (again), just like I would tell you face tattoo is idiotic. That is my opinion and I have a full right to think you are an idiot. I certainly want you to have full right to do whatever you want to your body and the same reason why I am for abortion and euthanasia. Got it?

2/5/2015 12:12:07 AM

^ So you would rather a woman have a series of abortions than a tubal? Yup, you're the idiot.

Even the hormonal fluctuations from getting pregnant and having an abortion could have had long term consequences for me, so I'm very happy I was able to get the tubal early and at least never have to deal with that.

[Edited on February 5, 2015 at 7:32 AM. Reason : ...]

2/5/2015 7:32:14 AM

....or....just don't have sex and don't modify your body. that's always an option.

2/5/2015 11:21:49 AM

Quote :

"^ So you would rather a woman have a series of abortions than a tubal?"

You are still not getting it. I think you should have the RIGHT to abort, to have vasectomy, to euthanize ailing cancer patient. WHEN and HOW you exercise those rights is something that public (young adults specifically) should be educated on i.e. we don't want young women to use abortion as form birth control. Similarly, vasectomy is something that should be discussed with your doctor at length because it not reversible (today at least) and you might not have mental maturity or understanding what that fully means until you are older.

2/5/2015 12:47:05 PM

If you want to give up your sex life because you don't want kids, then you really need to find a better partner.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/09/14/sunday-review/unplanned-pregnancies.html

IUD, norplant, vasectomy, or tubal are the only acceptable birth control options if you don't want kids. About 10% of women have IUDs removed ~ 6 months after insertion because it wasn't working for them, and IUDs must be replaced every 3-10 years. Tubals are one and done.

[Edited on February 5, 2015 at 2:07 PM. Reason : ...]

2/5/2015 2:04:30 PM

I, for one, can say that I am incredibly grateful you found a doctor willing to perform your tubal ligation procedure.

2/5/2015 2:50:51 PM

Quote :

"Also, vasectomies are amazing and I wish more men would get them. It's the only way to ensure that you aren't turned into a walking checkbook by a woman that's looking for a baby daddy. "

Absolute lunacy.

The posibility of ED after having this surgery would cause me to never get one, even after I'm done with kids.

2/5/2015 3:20:42 PM

ED is an extremely rare side effect, whereas almost every woman has unwanted side effects from birth control pills. Better to have a very, very small chance of ED than a partner that gains weight and loses her sex drive because of the pill.

2/5/2015 4:07:28 PM

Yeah...I'm totally not afraid of a vasectomy and will willingly volunteer when the time comes.

I'll definitely schedule it prior to the biggest sports weekend of the year. Plan is to get drunk as fuck and veg the fuck out while sitting on ice packs and pillows.

2/5/2015 7:10:53 PM

It's a bad idea to drink after any surgery.

2/6/2015 8:01:07 AM

I've only had success doing it.

2/6/2015 10:00:02 AM

it would be about like drinking after stepping on a nail or nicking your finger with a knife

[Edited on February 6, 2015 at 10:13 AM. Reason : not much of a "surgery"]

2/6/2015 10:12:53 AM

or maybe natural birth control?

2/6/2015 10:36:50 AM

Getting a vasectomy is on my to-do list this year. At 31 I still have no desire to reproduce, so why burden myself with a constant nagging worry that another failsafe doesn't work?

2/6/2015 11:08:44 AM

^^ Rhythm method and all that catholic bullshit is only a way to have fewer kids, not none. Plus many women have irregular periods so for them anything "natural" is completely worthless.

If you ask a medical professional about it they might not laugh to your face, but I can guarantee they will laugh about it with their coworkers. Catholics and their outdated birth control dogma aren't held in any regard by anyone that knows what the hell they are talking about.

2/6/2015 11:12:24 AM

Quote :

"Similarly, vasectomy is something that should be discussed with your doctor at length because it not reversible (today at least) and you might not have mental maturity or understanding what that fully means until you are older."

Actually, vasectomies are reversible.

2/6/2015 11:24:49 AM

^^taking the religion out of it, the science behind it makes sense. sounds like you're pretty butthurt about someone pushing religion onto you.

2/6/2015 1:49:14 PM

With all the science in the world, it's still not a very effective method and the failure rate is far, far too high to be an acceptable option for someone that doesn't want children.

2/6/2015 3:40:10 PM

^^^ They are reversible. It is not anywhere near 100%. I would view a vasectomy as permanent, with an asterisk.

2/6/2015 7:54:19 PM

almost 2 yrs post-vasectomy. no regrets.

6/15/2015 8:14:55 PM

Anyone have complications with vasectomies? Did you all go back and get your sperm count tested at the various intervals?

We're considering one for my husband pretty soon, since the tubal ligation is a lot more invasive.

6/17/2015 1:31:24 PM

I went a few weeks later and dropped off a sample. They called and said I was good to go. they didn't suggest any more testing.

[Edited on June 17, 2015 at 2:35 PM. Reason : no complications at all. pain wasnt bad. great decision.]

6/17/2015 2:34:15 PM

^ same, point for point

6/17/2015 3:33:57 PM

I dropped 2 samples after 20 ejaculations (7 days) post surgery. They said I was good to go. Have had no regrets for the past 4 years. No complications, mild discomfort post surgery (nothing severe). I do suggest a Valium before surgery, but otherwise, there's literally nothing to worry about. I watched my doctor do the first cut and cauterize. You might get a whiff of the burning flesh, but I'm pretty chill so none of it really bothered me.

[Edited on June 21, 2015 at 8:59 PM. Reason : .]

6/21/2015 8:56:12 PM

I've got a kid. Don't plan on another, and am looking to have this done some time this year.

6/21/2015 9:27:30 PM

I went through a period of really wanting kids. I am kind of set in my ways now and thinking when young and stupid would have been a better time for this, or a least 5 years ago, the kid would be in like kindergarden now.

6/21/2015 11:08:46 PM

9/28/2015 4:31:29 PM