If I had a reception I could keep it under a grand, but I wouldn't want my family at a wedding anyway, since they'd object to the mockery of tradition that it'd be.

Sadly the boyfriend still refuses to even consider wearing a pedobear costume. Maybe I'll wear one and force him to have on a propeller beanie.

7/7/2009 1:33:03 PM

$2k is amazing, my sister had a backyard wedding with around 75 people and homemade food, and it was still around $3500 (i think a lot of her expense was from the chairs they rented).

i bet we'll end up spending $2k just on attire; wedding dress, undergarments, shoes, his suit/shirt/tie, rings... it all adds up so fast. even compromising where we can we are definately having a hard time staying in our budget. it wouldn't be as bad if we could have kept the guest list down... that for me has been the most stressful thing. both our sets of parents have invited people we don't really care about being there. since my parents are paying a large chunk of the expense i had a hard time telling them no. and on his side there are family members he doesn't really know or care if they come but if you invite cousin so-and-so then you have to invite the other cousins on that side. then there are the people who invite their kids to our wedding when we did not put their kids on the invites. why do people do this? get a baby sitter! we didn't spend all this time and money so your kid could scream or talk through our wedding ceremony. i just don't get some people's thinking. i don't care about kids at the reception, but they don't want to be at the ceremony anyways. it is going to be so boring for little kids. and i guarantee these same people will be the ones who won't know to take their kids out of the church when they start crying.

7/7/2009 1:33:48 PM

$2k for clothes for a single day is insane. but then I think that getting married in a dress from hot topic would pwn any sort of normal wedding dress anyway (and no, I'm not goth) http://www.hottopic.com/hottopic/Apparel/Dresses/Lip-Service-Black-Hook-Bustle-Dress-248287.jsp

If only they had it in red!

7/7/2009 1:50:56 PM

^not really.

my dress was $200 from jcrew, but yeah i'll only wear that once.

chris + 3 groomsmen + my dad wore tan cotton suits from josabank ($200 for first, $140 each for other 4). oh i forgot the shirts ($200 for 4) and ties ($100 for 5).

my 3 bridesmaids wore green justbelowtheknee length dresses ($200ish each). the suits and the dresses can definitely be worn again and that was why we picked what we did. you can barely rent a decent tux for the cost of the suits. you don't have to pick hideous stuff nobody wants to wear again.

200+200+140(4)+200(3) = $1560. does not include undergarments or shoes. i'm the only one who bought something to wear underneath and it was $40.

shoes go like this:
strappy sandal wedge heel things from belk, $20(3)
brown leather nicer flip flops from clarks, $30(4)
i was barefoot. dad wore his own dress shoes.
= $180

1560+40+180+200+100 = $2080

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 2:03 PM. Reason : ]

7/7/2009 1:56:44 PM

Buying clothes for the whole wedding party would definitely add up to $2k, but I didn't think that was normal. Meh, doesn't really matter for me anyway.

7/7/2009 2:21:13 PM

ah yea, we're definitely not paying for our bridal party's clothes so that helps

7/7/2009 2:31:07 PM

we bought all the clothes. i thought it was inappropriate & stupid (which is obviously not tradition) to expect friends/family to buy/afford that mess.

7/7/2009 2:56:46 PM

I dont think I've ever been to a wedding that the bride/groom paid for the bridal party clothes. I ended up getting my 4 groomsmen to buy a suit from Brooks Brothers. They are having a sale for this one very appropriate kacky suit, as my wedding is at Bald Head Island, and it ended up being just over $200. I am buying them the ties I want (will be close to $100 a piece) and that will be their 'gift'.

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 3:09 PM. Reason : .]

7/7/2009 3:09:10 PM

I've never heard of the bride/groom paying for the wedding party's outfits. They're your friends and they (hopefully) only have to do this once. I have always appreciated it when the groom picked a tux that wasn't too expensive, but I'm not going to sweat paying a little bit of money to be a part of one of the biggest days of a good friend's life.

It would suck if someone you didn't really like that much asked you to be in their wedding though.

7/7/2009 3:17:12 PM

^^ well if we were going to have an actual wedding, we set a budget limit and said we'd have one as long as we could put a decent one together for the right cost. If we paid for the tux rentals for my 4 groomsmen, and dresses and shoes for her 4 bridesmaids, it probably would have been at least 30% of our total budget already gone even getting good deals (~$80 per person), and as it is, we are going to max out our $2000 budget we set. (I am not including my ring in the wedding cost since that was going to be bought either way...which by the way I still need to pick out and buy ). So for some of that stuff, it came down to, we can have them pay for it (which in my experience is common anyways), or we were going to be over budget for the wedding.

7/7/2009 3:21:05 PM

i didn't say it was common, i'm just saying that's my thoughts on it. i don't think they should have to pay, so we paid for it.

7/7/2009 3:21:57 PM

Quote :

"$15,000+ party and getting married at the courthouse"

ah, the extremes (long story, but we are going to experience both... LOL)

7/7/2009 3:22:53 PM

^^i can understand your reasoning, and I think thats pretty awesome of you. I'd probably consider it if one of our parent's had the money to help. Basically, we're saving for a house and we are solely responsible for the funding of this wedding too and we felt like a house will be a better investment is all. If we had more money, we wouldn't have gotten extravagant but I know we would have planned a little more.

[Edited on July 7, 2009 at 3:25 PM. Reason : ]

7/7/2009 3:24:51 PM

Why didn't you just put your dream wedding on credit cards and then default on the loan?

7/7/2009 4:02:02 PM

7/7/2009 4:09:18 PM

Quote :

"both our sets of parents have invited people we don't really care about being there. since my parents are paying a large chunk of the expense i had a hard time telling them no. and on his side there are family members he doesn't really know or care if they come but if you invite cousin so-and-so then you have to invite the other cousins on that side."

Ugh, yeah not looking forward to that bullcrap. I don't know my dad's side of the family very well at all and have zero intentions of inviting cousins I don't even know exist. But I know my dad will get pissy if I'm inviting pretty much all of my mom's family and I'm only inviting his dad. It's not my fault his side breeds like rabbits and my mom's side doesn't know what sex is

7/8/2009 5:21:25 AM

Quote :

"both our sets of parents have invited people we don't really care about being there. since my parents are paying a large chunk of the expense i had a hard time telling them no. and on his side there are family members he doesn't really know or care if they come but if you invite cousin so-and-so then you have to invite the other cousins on that side."

my view on that was - as long as the people i want are there then i don't really care if any extras are - as long as the other people aren't making it so people you want to be invited can't be then just don't worry about it - you don't have to say hi to or talk to everyone and more than likely won't

7/8/2009 5:59:18 PM

My parents are very social people - to put things in perspective, if I were to get married in my hometown, I'd probably have a guest list of upwards of 600 people. (mom and dad had 650 at their wedding ) I was hoping that by having a destination wedding, we could keep the invite list under 200, but it looks like we're at 350 for now. But they are being overwhelmingly gracious about the whole thing, and are more than willing to foot the astronomical per person dinner/open bar bill, so I'm more than willing to invite as many of their friends as they want.

7/8/2009 7:24:18 PM

i'm getting married in puerto rico. if anyone is thinking about it, check out this planner. she's awesome!

http://prweddingplanner.blogspot.com/

7/8/2009 9:31:49 PM

^^ Yeah it's definitely one thing if the parents are footing the bill. Then they can invite whoever they damn well please. But if I'm footing the bill I'm not willing to pay extra for people I don't know.

7/9/2009 12:17:10 AM

Just ordered a brushed stainless steel ring from the internets on the cheap. Hopefully it will work out but I'm not really counting on it.

7/10/2009 1:32:51 PM

The ring is actually really nice. it was too big so I had to order a new one but I am very happy with the quality. I haven't seen many people doing the stainless steel thing so I really hadn't heard much about it or even really seen one. Looks really good, feels very good and very light, not quite as light as titanium but very light anyway. Plus it was very inexpensive.

7/14/2009 3:33:14 PM

this is where i'm getting married:



16th century spanish fort called "Castillo San Felipe del Morro"

it's gonna be so awesome

7/14/2009 7:26:01 PM

It's probably already been said, but http://www.theknot.com helped me a LOT. The checklist was really useful in being sure everything was done. Now I get messages from http://www.thenest.com, which is some kind of partner for the post-marriage stuff.

7/16/2009 2:15:01 PM

Basically 15 days left... agghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

7/16/2009 10:05:59 PM

I need opinions

For wedding favors, I really like the idea of doing a donation to two of our favorite charities. We're having a destination wedding, so I don't want to give something that will break/melt/nobody will take with them. I want to put a pretty rock candy lollipop on each place setting (in our colors) with a little note tied to it that says something like "Thank you so much for being a part of our special day. In lieu of favors, a donation has been made in your honor to the *** charity."

My mom and fiancee love the idea, but my dad thinks it sounds like we're trying to be cheap and weasel out of actually giving favors. Thoughts?

7/19/2009 4:12:44 PM

^ i asked L and we both agreed that we'd be happy with just the lollipop and no note

the only wedding favor i've ever enjoyed (and actually the only one i can even remember) was a homebrewed bottle of beer that was at each place setting

but we do need a new tv for our bedroom as well

7/19/2009 4:19:02 PM

You and L are also getting a free vacation, so you don't count

Just kidding, thanks for your help!!

7/19/2009 5:08:10 PM

Wow, I think that sounds like an excellent idea. Wedding favors are not a huge deal imo. They either get lost, left behind or just thrown away in most cases. It would make me pretty happy to have my favor go towards a charity. Just make sure it's not a controversial one!!!

7/19/2009 5:17:12 PM

i know its kinda weird for a dude to be posting in this particular thread, but i have a good reason! lol

my lady is holding down a very busy full time job and i have more free time during business hours so i am doing my best to handle as much of the planning as i can (making phone calls to PR, etc.). i'm hoping to learn a few things from you guys!

7/19/2009 9:14:25 PM

We did no favors and made a donation to the SPCA. No sign stating such bc I ran out of time to make one

7/19/2009 10:13:50 PM

Ok, Im getting married in 6 weeks. My bridesmaids bought dresses back in January but my sister who is also a bridesmaid had a kid 3 months ago and her chest is MUCH bigger than we had anticapated and she had bought the biggest dress size available at the time. Weve taken the dress to several taylors but the cheapest price we gotten to add the 4" in the chest is $150 and all have said the dress wont look that good even at that price.

SO I need to find 2 dresses for both of my sisters to wear to the wedding (I have 4 bridesmaids and with neither of my sisters being made of honor, I think just one of them wearing a different dress would look funny) The other two are wearing the orginal bridesmaids dresses that are a dark bright pink. My secondary color is Navy so I was hoping to find 2 cheaper navy dresses, tea length for my sisters to wear.

Any suggestions of places I can look to find them? Ive looked online at several places and found one that I like at Ann Taylor but its $150, was hoping for something cheaper since I told my sisters I would purchase them so they both dont have to buy 2 dresses. Thanks!

7/20/2009 9:03:28 AM

I recently read this cool idea for doing donations for favors.

Give each guest a betting chip. The chip is worth whatever you set it at ($2 etc) Set up clear jars/boxes/etc with a slit in the top. Each container is for a different charity. Have your guests choose which charity they want their chip to go towards and they put it in the container. Over the course of the night people can see which charity is "winning" lol.

I think this could be a cool way to get guests involved and more interested in the fact you made a donation. I think if we did this we would probably do three containers, the SPCA, Doctors Without Borders, and Heifer International.

7/21/2009 9:16:57 PM

Quote :

"Any suggestions of places I can look to find them? Ive looked online at several places and found one that I like at Ann Taylor but its $150, was hoping for something cheaper since I told my sisters I would purchase them so they both dont have to buy 2 dresses. Thanks!"

I think you will be hard pressed to find ones for less than that unless you are okay with polyester or cotton blends. Have you tried looking places like ebay or Victoria Secret?

[Edited on July 21, 2009 at 10:13 PM. Reason : lol oops]

7/21/2009 10:12:42 PM

Where have you ladies gone to do your gown shopping around here? Any places that are good to avoid?

7/22/2009 4:49:19 AM

http://ncbride.blogspot.com/search/label/Bridal%20Salons

there's about 4 in the RDU area on that list.

7/22/2009 9:03:47 AM

^^ I hate Davids Bridal-- total nightmare but cheap dresses. I loved Victorian Rose, off Glenwood. I ended up getting mine at McGregor Bridal Gallery. Really good service and decent prices. Have fun!

7/22/2009 9:38:45 AM

do not go to davids bridal.

7/22/2009 9:39:08 AM

^5 We found some on Target.com... only $40 and my sisters say they like them... they said they were ok with less quality dresses cause neither one is really gonna wear it again.

7/22/2009 1:57:56 PM

What are the other dresses like? Style/fabric wise...

All of my bridesmaids dresses were on sale from White House Black Market. Great quality, really cute, and can be worn again. Only cost $54 a piece too.

7/22/2009 2:06:01 PM

bridal mart had the best selection and prices of all the places i tried (my dress was only $450 and I love it)
the smaller boutique places were too much $$ and a lot of the dresses were the same (i did NOT want a strapless princess dress)
if you have $1 -2k to spend i liked diva's in greensboro

i would avoid david's bridal completely. they will give your information out and you will get called for all kinds of bs.

7/22/2009 2:19:31 PM

I had the complete opposite reaction to Bridal Mart. Everything was very gaudy and I also didnt like how there were no store assistants helping you find a dress. At Davids I had a girl that was like "OK so you like this neckline- let me show you this other dress we have with a similar neckline." The dresses are cheap there but I didnt want to spend $$$ on a dress. It was a happy medium, cheap but helpful.

7/22/2009 3:11:22 PM

everything was gaudy? they have hundreds of dresses, some of which have absolutely no embellishment. i loved that they had so many different types of dresses; i tried on several different styles to see which i liked best, then the lady that was helping me went and pulled similar dresses for me to try on. one of the dresses she pulled is actually the one i chose for my wedding gown. I got bridesmaids dresses and my mom's dress there as well.

I agree it is nice that they wait on you at David's, and while I liked some of the dresses I didn't find one there that I loved. I did find it extremely annoying how often they called me afterwards, and how often I was called about tuxes or called about winning a free honeymoon if i came to some seminar.

7/22/2009 3:40:51 PM

I didn't have an issue with David's Bridal calling me, I never received a single phone call.

I did have an issue with the costs of their dresses, and that if we had gone with a selection from them, all of my bridesmaids would have had to have had alterations (size 2's swallowed them). But they were just fine going with a size 4 from any other store.

I did not like their selection of wedding dresses at all. There were no options for off the shoulder for brides that weren't plus-sized. They didn't seem to understand that I can be a size 0 and not want to wear strapless or poofy skirts. They seem to lack any kind of "classic" dress.

7/22/2009 3:59:15 PM

I might have to check out this Bridal Mart place. I've seen a lot of people bitching online about it but I'm okay with a store where the clerks don't help you. That's what my mom and sister are for

Do you think at places like Bridal Mart, if you surf their website first and write down the style #s of dresses you're interested in, they could pull them out for you?

7/22/2009 8:19:55 PM

Bridal Mart in Burlington? It is annoying carrying all the dresses, only 5 at a time, yourself. But then a salesperson isn't annoying you. My sister went with me.

All the dresses at David's Bridal fit me poorly.

I had the best luck at a place called Dawn's in Lexington.

[Edited on July 22, 2009 at 8:39 PM. Reason : .]

7/22/2009 8:38:39 PM

i went looking for dresses with a book of print outs of what i thought i wanted and style numbers etc. i didn't use any of it. i did not get a dress at all like i thought i wanted. after i tried things on i realized what looked best on my body type and just started pulling that type of dress. i always thought i wanted an a-line dress with a vintage lace overlay, but i ended up with a silk mermaid dress. it makes me feel glamorous which i love, instead of "cute" like the a-line dresses. they have the dresses sectioned off by style, and i actually liked going through them. i took my mom along so one of us would hold dresses and the other would flip through to look at them.

now i'm looking for a birdcage veil, i have been on etsy but i want to try one on in person

[Edited on July 23, 2009 at 12:50 AM. Reason : .]

7/23/2009 12:45:17 AM

bridal mart was crap for me too. i didn't see anything remotely near what i was looking for (simple, not huge princessy poofy with lace and sequins and shit). plus they only have these weird half stall things for you to change in front of the world. no doors, no rooms. place was kind of a dump.

jcrew ftw

[Edited on July 23, 2009 at 10:33 AM. Reason : ]

7/23/2009 10:31:48 AM

I liked Bridal mart as well. A few years ago i purchased a graduation dress there for an AA graduation from Peace. The dress was beautiful and under 100 dollars - exactly what i needed for the occasion and in the right budget as well. There were a few women there willing to help me, and They have all kinds of things from Over embellished, to plain and very simple. Mine was strapless with a small mermaid pleat on the left side.

I felt like I got my money's worth out of the dress, and gave it to a friend who was getting married on a small budget last year.

7/23/2009 12:22:31 PM

if you haven't seen it yet, cause it's ALL over the internet today...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-94JhLEiN0

7/23/2009 1:43:36 PM