You were given documentation outlining procedures and deliverables. I don't care that you don't want to follow it. I'm not going to do your work, nor am I going to review it until your work begins to at least approach the prescribed conditions.

5/4/2017 1:57:59 PM

When the person training you to replace them actually has no idea what they are doing.

5/4/2017 3:12:39 PM

Quote :

"Being self-employed, I work from home... so no complaints about co-workers, but goddamn I get tired of dealing with email luddites who don't understand accepted email communication. Don't send me a fucking email with a blank subject. Don't send me a fucking email with a scanned Word document asking me to add this content to their website. I have clients who will type up a damn letter in Word, print it, take a picture, and email me. When I ask why they didn't email the Word doc, they reply that they didn't save it. FUCK YOU."

OK, it happened again. Part of my job is website development/design. I have writers who draft the content and the client approves; but obviously this one didn't pay attention.

So we're doing the final "walkthrough" of the website on a call and the client says he wants to reorder some of the bullet points. How would you rearrange bullet points? Copy/paste the content into a Word doc or just paste it into an email? If that's too technical, you could even print the page and just re-number the bullet points.

No, not this guy. He prints the page, cuts each bullet point with scissors, and tapes the bullet points in the order he wants. Then he chicken scratches a few more with medical jargon.

Then asks me for my fax number.

5/14/2017 8:35:49 PM

hahaha

5/14/2017 8:48:34 PM

^^ send him a teamviewer invite and show him how to copy/past into an email

5/14/2017 11:23:12 PM

It looks like a ransom letter.

@moron I've done that before... a few times. It's saved me from a stroke a few times.

5/14/2017 11:34:50 PM

somebody shit in the urinal again today. twice in a month or so.

5/15/2017 5:07:12 PM

Quote :

"Who eats lobster for breakfast anyway?"

I dunno, but dude man across from me microwaves a fish filet sammich most mornings. Like, he picked it up from Captain D's or something, ate half of it, and saved it for breakfast the next day. I don't get it.

^ I just read that, and I'm giggling over here. Like, how did he manage to sit there long enough to pinch one off without being caught

[Edited on May 15, 2017 at 6:59 PM. Reason : ]

5/15/2017 6:57:13 PM

^^bahahahaha wtf where do you work?

5/17/2017 2:28:03 PM

5/17/2017 3:02:05 PM

Nobody shits in the urinal. People place turds shat elsewhere into the urinal.

5/17/2017 7:49:28 PM

Why the fuck would you bring up new elements to add to construction documents 5 days before we are supposed to submit them? This ain't a god damn Christmas tree, STOP HANGING MEANINGLESS ORNAMENTS ON OUR DOCUMENTS!!!!

5/30/2017 2:57:39 PM

Spotted my first email from a coworker that featured her pronouns in her signature. Thing is she has a very feminine name and is not trans or anything else "alternative". I get it if somebody is trans (friends kid has changed her name to a guy now and has shirts with them on it) but it seems like unnecessary info if your not trans. Unless otherwise prompted I will address you as you appear.

5/30/2017 4:17:59 PM

Dude, that doesn't affect you in the slightest. Like, in the slightest. At all.

5/30/2017 6:35:57 PM

colleagues who have dumb inspirational quotes as their Lync/Skype status...for example:

"Do we exist only to live, or do we live to prove our existence?"

"Why are you keeping this curiosity door locked?"

6/1/2017 9:38:50 AM

Dude, that doesn't affect you in the slightest. Like, in the slightest. At all.

6/1/2017 9:44:20 AM

Except it does. Obviously. Otherwise I wouldnt have posted it here.

[Edited on June 1, 2017 at 9:47 AM. Reason : .]

6/1/2017 9:47:28 AM

Eh, just bugged me. You right, it doesn't affect me, just annoyed me at the time.

6/1/2017 9:53:57 AM

I'm sure this has been covered, but it's incredibly relevant to me lately:

being included on long email chains that have absolutely nothing to do with anything I do

7/26/2017 9:33:43 AM

^BCC MOTHERFUCKERS

I fucking hate that shit so much, I don't need 200 emails welcoming some fuck to the company.

7/26/2017 11:56:19 AM

Ugh.

Why are you going to REPLY ALL just to say "I got it" ?

7/26/2017 5:56:01 PM

Quote :

"colleagues who have dumb inspirational quotes as their Lync/Skype status...for example:"

Oh shit you can add a status on there? I know how I'm trolling some people tomorrow. What's a good shitty quote for me to put on there?

7/26/2017 8:32:06 PM

^

TA was in

7/26/2017 9:18:27 PM

They lock up the little coffee creamer cups here and if they need to put out more you have to open a ticket. This is the dumbest shit ever

8/31/2017 12:07:24 PM

I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

8/31/2017 2:10:14 PM

we have drug drama in our office because a bathroom smelled like weed, but i think it's actually this one dude's weird BO or deodorant

8/31/2017 2:19:54 PM

Been working my ass off, alone, on a project for over a year now. It's involved major rework of an existing system, but the system is owned by a different group. I've asked for help multiple times, and have even been promised it, but have never gotten it. People from the other team have repeatedly delayed my project, including management, who can't figure out what the hell they want to release and when. And when they change their mind (this is another team, mind you), they come to me to rescue them. They even delayed ALL work on their projects (and thereby mine) for two months to change fucking colors in the application for one user, who is completely new to the system.

Well, apparently the big wigs realized that they are shutting off the system my project is supposed to replace in October (due to inane hardware retirement plans that nobody consulted us or the customer on), and suddenly my project has become super important. I've been in no less than 5 scheduling meetings over the past two weeks, where the same shit gets said every time. Fuckers even argued for an hour about whether to use Project or Excel to track statuses. And I'm over here like "can I just go back to my desk and do actual work?" Now I got a 30minute status meeting every day, along with the two hour long status meetings that we have had, where the entire year I've been saying that we need more resources if we want to finish on time.

And the 2nd-level manager from the OTHER TEAM (not even in my org chart) tries to suggest to me earlier this week that "maybe I should consider working weekends" to make the date. Fuck you, man. Fuck you. No, I will not work weekends.

[Edited on September 2, 2017 at 4:04 PM. Reason : ]

9/2/2017 4:03:51 PM

Our bathroom has five stalls. All can be empty, except for the one you choose; and yet, there is a guy at work that will invariably pick the one right beside you. Never fuckin fails.

And every single time, the guy sounds like he has a stick of dynamite up his ass.

9/15/2017 9:25:11 AM

Hate people who dont understand bathroom etiquette. Always leave one between you and another person if at all possible... its just the right thing to do.

9/15/2017 9:28:07 AM

Fuck timesheets, fuck them up the ass. My bosses fail to understand that requiring us to document every 10-15 minute discussion or task as it's own line item is wasting more time recording than any value gained from from recording it.

Nothing we do is time or material anyway and we're all salaried. It doesn't make a difference.

9/15/2017 12:28:18 PM

some dude keeps walking back and forth past my window eating chinese food and staring at me while i work, it's fucking weirding me out

9/18/2017 3:06:03 PM

Walking outside? Creepy.

9/18/2017 4:55:43 PM

Quote :

"Fuck timesheets, fuck them up the ass. My bosses fail to understand that requiring us to document every 10-15 minute discussion or task as it's own line item is wasting more time recording than any value gained from from recording it."

You have to account for every minute of your day?

9/18/2017 6:06:17 PM

Reply-all circle jerks congratulating people for basically doing their job. Same for promotions. Nobody cares that you need to tell someone how "well-deserved" it is.

11/2/2017 9:36:41 AM

Quote :

"Reply-all circle jerks congratulating people for basically doing their job. Same for promotions. Nobody cares that you need to tell someone how "well-deserved" it is. "

You ain't gotta call out EMCE like that.

[Edited on November 2, 2017 at 9:47 AM. Reason : .]

11/2/2017 9:47:21 AM

when people walk to your desk and ask you shit that could be sent in an email, but you're busy as fuck and they are just bored and want to humor themselves

11/2/2017 10:17:20 AM

this asshole has not stopped talking since 0700. about baseball, deer hunting, fishing, movies, the walking dead. nothing work related. nothing.

11/2/2017 10:30:25 AM

Does he sit next to you or something?

11/2/2017 4:18:07 PM

3 cubicals down. he's loud as shit.

11/3/2017 8:38:05 AM

2 new hires are both coming to work too early and staying too late

fucking assholes

11/3/2017 8:46:34 AM

Funnier to me than timesheets is management’s pitiful attempts to slowly roll out timesheets without letting on.

Shucks, HR, I woulda filled that form out, but you never trained me on how to fill out that particular form. Send me an email about the upcoming training, and I’ll be there!

But I’m gonna need training on how to access and manage email. We can get to it after the don’t-slap-asses-in-the-workplace and how-to-use-a-ladder trainings. Also, Mary Anne’s got her tits out again and Susan’s not washing her hair anymore, so it’s probably time for the dress code/professionalism refresher where we all pretend we’re not just there for Mary Anne and Susan, and the new people wonder if it’s really about them and their inadequacies.

11/4/2017 2:47:22 PM

the never-ending avalanche of corporate bullshit initiated by cock-gobbling kool-aid drinkers who have no idea how shit actually gets done in this company

11/13/2017 7:19:30 PM

Sharing files.

Your formatting/layer control sucks. Please just stop touching my shit if you're gonna be this haphazard.

[Edited on November 14, 2017 at 8:20 PM. Reason : .]

11/14/2017 8:20:09 PM

new guy constantly is telling me about the things he's been doing during the day trying to make himself sound busy when I can't find him for 6 hours out of 8.
also my boss won't quit talking about his son's baseball team and the one wheel plus he bought him for christmas. my only hope is the boss tries to ride it and breaks his ass

11/15/2017 2:11:43 PM

Discovered three massive, show-stopper bugs in our program literally the day before the release. QA is like "I tested it and it worked fine, I don't know why it doesn't work now..."

I head over to one of the teams involved with the bug report and how they can fix it, and the guy tells me "you don't know what the fuck you're talking about. you have zero information about this." So, four hours later, they come back and say exactly what I tried to tell them four hours earlier. Fuck you, buddy.

11/16/2017 12:03:17 AM

i just witnessed someone trimming their fingernails while sitting at the table in the break room, now I'm trying to figure out how I can get that table replaced

11/17/2017 10:56:12 AM

You're that fucking loser who posts on a message board hoping he reads it rather than confronting him. Most of you are. Man the fuck up and tell that bitch that trimming his finger nails is gross. Seriously, grow some balls you whiney bitch.

11/17/2017 2:30:02 PM

i did you fat fuck, the issue now is that i have to replace the table

duh

11/17/2017 2:31:24 PM

OFFICER TUFF GUY HERE

[Edited on November 17, 2017 at 2:54 PM. Reason : I don't think anyone posts on TWW hoping their coworker reads it.]

11/17/2017 2:43:12 PM

i'm going to sprinkle some coke on the offending coworker and call officer stiffy

11/17/2017 2:44:04 PM